Zel's Beginning

Hi, I'm new to this role-playing thing. This is my first role-play ever, but I know that the role-playing usually has to be about KH, so I'm kinda doing that right now. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Characters:
Zel
Ace
Setzer
Sora

"Aggh! I don't want to go." Zel said. "If you want to become like Sora, then you better come with me mister." His mom said. "C'mon, 5 more minutes." No, get out of bed and march to the kitchen for breakfast. You need to get a good breakfast if you want to win the Struggle. He ate his breakfast, and went in is room to grab the new, Alpha Bat. You see, the master strugglers came up with this idea to make a new kind of struggle bat. But the only differance is that its red, And alot more fierce.


"Okay Zel, you can do this." He was thinking to himself. "The competition is weak. Your gonna win." "Zel, come on, you don't want to be late." "O-okay" Zel said. "Mom, can we ever go visit Hollow Bastion?" He said. "Maybe someday." His mom said, very low voiced. They got there, and everything was set up, and ready. "I'll be rooting for you the whole time." His mom said, with a big smile. "Hey Zel." Ace said, out of breath. "Oh what's up Ace?" "I heard Setzer's back for the tournoment." "What?! How did he get all the way from Enchanted Dominion to here?". "I don't know."


"ALL STRUGGLERS TO THE MEETING AREA AT ONE!" Said the reff. "Uh oh, lets go." "Yah." said Zel, feeling really scared. The reff gives the rules and starts calling battles. "Dang, Setzers improved ALOT." Ace said, really suprised. "I know." Zel said. 'Okay, next up, Zel and Ace." "Well, may the better man win." Ace said. "Aaaaaaand.....Fight. "Your dead!" Ace said, while charging at Zel. And right before Ace tries to strike at him, time freezes. "What the?" Zel said, extremely confused. "C'mon." This guy says. "W-who are you?" Zel said. "Not important right now! Now lets go." Zel follows him really confused.

So, what did you guys think?

 

If this open to join, you may want to add some rules, unless you don't care about them. And I'm not joining or anything, I just want to say this, mostly out of boredom and it's nice to help people out.

So firstly, if you are serious about role playing it might be a nice idea to read through some other role plays, it's what I did when I first joined the site. After that, if you're confident in yourself, you can go ahead and post a role play. But if you aren't then you could always make one with someone else.

Secondly, your post is okay, but it could be better with some more detail, especially in the fight, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to make it super long. It was just a little confusing. Plus you missed putting some quotations in areas which made it hard to understand. Nice work for someone who never rp'd before.

P.S. KH rps aren't the only role plays you can make. There are also a fantasy role play section, real life section, etc.