Author's note: Yes, a historical fiction from World War II. "Chapter 1" Cheated in Death I laid there, looking up. The Germans have slaughtered out resistance. I'm hoping they don't notice that I'm just pretending to be dead. I can barely see anything. My vision kept fading. I can see two German guards in a pit where me and some of my dead comrades are. They shot everyone around me again. They didn't shoot me and someone else. I wasn't sure who it is exactly, though. My vision finally came to. It was Kekerou in front of me. He looked up, and said, "Dmitri? You're alive?" "Barely..." I replied. It seems he was in better shape than I. Kekerou looked at me, and pulled up on my feet. I didn't stand up, but was crouched. "Follow me. We got to get out of here." He ordered. I didn't argue with him, and followed. Kekerou led me to the other side. As I followed, I saw that the Germans are stronger than we thought. Kekerou stopped at the edge of the other side. He pointed at five squads of Germans. He gave me a Kar98k. "Take it. It'll be good for protection." He says to me. "What about you?" I ask. He just shrugs. He carefully got out, and looked at the Germans. "Shh." He tells me. I followed him, and he led me to a building. We quickly went up the stairs. No signs of Germans yet. Kekerou stopped at a window on the 6th floor. I glanced out. The Germans were gathered around the pit. I sighed of relief. "Shh!" He says to me again. I cover my mouth. Kekerou pointed at a German in a black uniform. "Fire at one of the Germans. Once we do, the fire will draw them here. That, my friend, is where we make our escape." He said. I nodded nervously. I aimed the gun at one of the Germans. Then, I fired. The German got hit in the leg. I didn't think it was fatal though. So, I fired again. This time, in the neck. The German fell to the ground. Apparently, one of the Germans saw me. I glanced out again, and the Germans started piling into the building. Kekerou laughed. "Stupid fools." He signaled me to move upstairs, and quickly. Before I knew it, I heard gunfire. "Chapter 2" War-Torn Poland The Germans dashed in here like speeding bullets. I fired the gun I held. The German fell to the ground. I fired again. The German fell on his knees. A German caught up to me, and I quickly pulled out my knife, and swung it across his face. The German fell to the ground, with a bloody face. Kekerou ran in front of me, grabbed the MP40 the German had, and fired. The Germans fell one at a time. "Run Dmitri!" He said, dashing up the stairs. I followed him, as fast as I could. The Germans were climbing up the stairs faster, as if they had rockets on their shoes. I ran for my life, and kept firing. My last bullet. I fired it, and the German fell. "Fine shooting Dmitri!" Kekerou says to me. "I'm out of ammo!" I retort. Another German caught up to me, and tried to slam me with the butt of his gun. I quickly swung my knife across his face, and the German fell. I grabbed the MP40 he held, and stormed out of there. All of sudden, flames shot out from the windows. "Duck if you want to live!" Kekerou yells to me. I crouched under the flamethrower's flames. "Who the hell does this?!" I yelled. Kekerou didn't answer, and stormed up the stairs, with me following. The entire building was torn apart, in ashes, bullets, and flames. We finally reached the final floor. We went out to an awning of some sort. Apparently, our backup got here already. "No wonder they tried to flame us out." Kekerou says to me. Our comrades were making beautiful progress. We saw someone running out of a building. "It's the General! Shoot him!!!" He yelled. I understood clearly, and aimed the MP40 at him. "The General is running!!!" He yelled. "Shoot him!!" I quickly shot my gun. One of the soldiers ran in front of him, and got killed. I fired again. The General of the German Army, was killed. "Ahahaha! You did it! You did it Dmitri!" Kekerou said. The Germans, the cowards I mean, were quickly retreating. "This day, will always be remembered. This day, is the end of the Germans!" He chanted towards our comrades. Our comrades cheered. For once, I feel good about killing someone. Oct. 12, 1939 Near Schleswig-Holstein World War II Pvt. Dmitri "Chapter 3" Ambushed We were on a boat, near Schleswig-Holstein. Our comrades were eager to get to the place, as was I. "Land-Ho!" The sargent shouted. I glanced out from the boat, only to see Schleswig-Holstein. "I have a bad feeling about this." I said. And I really did. Our boats grinded along the solid ground of Germany. We got out, all armed. "No sign of any German forces." Private Satoru said. And that, is where we got blasted. Completely out of nowhere, German forces started depleting our men. I went to cover, behind a boat. "Fire!!!" The sargent ordered us. I quickly armed myself with a 6P62 I had. I kept firing my gun, at any German I saw. However, they were quite a handful. They had snipers in the trees, and more grenadiers. They were overwhelming. "No retreating!" The sargent ordered. "I want to see these monsters die by my hands!" The sargent yelled. I sighed, and kept firing. "Dmitri!" The sargent ran over to me. "Take out the snipers in the trees!" He ordered. "Yes sir." I replied. I fired my weapon at all the trees. The sargent laughed whenever a dead German fell out of the trees. "Fine marksmanship Dmitri!" He said to me. The Germans weren't giving up though. They kept fighting and fighting, not wanting to retreat. "Dmitri, this guys ain't giving up. I'll let you lead a charge." Sargent Kane said. I nodded nervously. We stood still, and put our hands up. The Germans walked over to us. A flash grenade was thrown on the ground. It exploded, and the Germans were blinded. We then shot every last one of them. "Stupid fools!" Satoru remarked. However, reinforcements showed up. We fired again, but they kept coming, as if there were an indefinite amount of them. I didn't give up, and kept firing. "CHARGE!!!" The sargent yelled. All of our comrades ran over to the Germans, shooting them and killing them with a knife. We cleared the front lines. Kane took out a flare gun, and shot it upwards. Five ships arrived, carrying reinforcements, as well as tanks and supplies. Kane grinned. "We will conquer this land, and turn it back to what it was. This is our day bretheren, to redeem ourselves as heroes." He said. Our comrades cheered. We just might be able to win this once and for all. Oct. 14th, 1939 Mecklenburg-Vorpommern World War II Pvt. Dmitri "Chapter 4" We've Been Through Worse Our comrades were travling across this country, hoping to get to Berlin. I was sitting on the back of a tank, because Kane said I deserve to rest. I looked around, thinking that there was gonna be another ambush, mostly because we couldn't see any Germans. "Yeah, you'd think there'd be thousands of Germans swarming around us." Kekerou joked. "They must be afraid of us." Satoru replied. They both laughed. I chuckled only a little bit. "Shut up!" Kane snapped. We all shut our mouths. I glanced out in front. Nothing. Then, they finally came. They charged towards us. I quickly took out an AK-47, and fired. The Germans were dying, one by one. The Germans stopped, and went into their cover. That's when we pushed back. We went into their frontlines, depleting these men. They started retreating into a forest-like area. We laughed at them. We kept running towards them. They started running around in fear. We shot them down, one by one. "These men aren't to bright, are they?" Satoru yelled. "Not really!" Kane replied. The Germans finally went into full retreat into a hut. They got onto MG turrets. "MGs!" Kekerou shouted. We went into cover, when we came across a flamethrower. "Dmitri, take it and burn that hut down!" The sargent ordered. "Yes, sarge." I grabbed it, and fired towards the hut. The hut started to burn. "Take cover!" The sargent yelled. I ducked behind cover, and the hut exploded. Apparently, there were explosives in there. The second German force, eliminated. Kane congratulated me. I smiled. We kept marching. I came out of there a man.
It has potential, but you need to be a bit more realistic if this is a war fiction. Surely if they were injured they would concentrate on escaping rather than stopping to snipe more of the enemy? I suppose you could put it down to loyalty, but you didn't mention that, neither did you mention the extent of the injuries of the soldiers. Also, you said he was "breathing heavily" but also trying to hide the fact he wasn't dead. Surely he would try and calm his breathing if he was playing dead, no? Your vocabulary is a little simple, for example you've used the word "looked" too many times, when there are plenty of alternatives. There were a few spelling errors such as "out" which should have been "our" but nothing to worry about. My main problem with this is the way it's structured- why have you randomly started new lines in places? It looks messy and choppy D: I'm glad you're writing about modern war however, since few people here do. Give me a shout out if you want me to change the title to "World in Arms" since all your chapters have to go in one thread ;3 EDIT- changed title and neatened o: ~
