Just a story I'm writing, I haven't had a real one up here in a while, besides my lonely little chapter of Winter Solstice :3 Also, I appreciate feedback and critisism, so please comment and tell me what you think :'D ____________________________ Thin river bed reeds of a dusty colored brown were crushed under the heavy paws of the fast traveling body of bones that was draped with a thin and shabby azure hued coat of fur thrown on to grip around them and let their edges show to remind all of the hunger he felt. A pale pink tongue lolled out the side of his mouth, between a line of gleaming weapons in his mouth that built the life of this animal, showing exhaustion as the creature ran. This animal was a wolf of the wild, made thin by the horrible enemy known as hunger and made strong from endless working of the muscles that supported its lean body. Unlike a normal wolf, however, the dark blue that was the primary of its coat and the lighter hue that graced its muzzle and chest betrayed an unnatural presence that set this being apart from the rest of its species. As the canine left the area of the riverbed, the plants that were flattened by the force of his footsteps changed from marine reeds to forest grasses. And as his progress continued, trees dappled the grasses here and there, their canopies of leaves blending in with the navy of the midnight sky. The trees appeared more frequently, their mahogany barks whizzing past the speeding animal as he journeyed to a destination that may have only been known in the back of his mind. The pale blue wolf reached the wall of trees that was the real gate to the darkened path known not to man but to animal, because man needed an open trail of dirt, and no undergrowth underfoot to hinder them. Animals were not as weak as the two legged animals were, and so the progress continued as hastily and deftly as it was before. Time flew by as fast as the undergrowth that flew by the animal, whose claws were gripping the firm soil that rarely saw the light of day, and barely enough water to keep it fertile. He pushed off his front legs, his body soaring over brambles that snared at the wolf’s tender belly, and past thorns that tugged at his thin sides. With a cloud of dust from dusty ground, the wolf had landed on all fours and was facing another of his own species. A silence enveloped the two beasts as their eyes locked with one another. A wolf’s eyes could be their strongest weapon, the piercing emotions showing all that they want to show and reveal all they want secret. One look at a wolf’s eyes at a moment of anger would show the fury blazing and biting, and the warning would be enough to make you look away and run. But these wolves’ eyes did not have that fire in them. They were wary, a tense light playing on their colors. The blue hued wolf was the first to speak, opening his mouth and grunting, “O beast of these forests of my kin, I am here to challenge you and drive you out. Your unfamiliar stench drew the attention of my nose from a long way away, and here I have found the source in my home. Leave now or your life is gone.†But the gray furred wolf stood his ground, ears flattened back along a broad head. The wolf, however, lowered his thin tail etched with a copper flaking of marks, and placed it between his legs in an act of proving harmlessness. “I am not fooled by such acts,†the blue wolf threatened. But his eyes gazed over the form of the other wolf, and he saw mud and wounds covering its body. His nose twitched in interest, and the other wolf noticed. The gray wolf yowled, “You have to help, Azure Fang! Enemies are in our woods, and now you can’t even remember your old friend’s name?†Azure Fang rested his mouth, relieving himself of the snarl he had curled on his lips a moment before. His eyes narrowed, and then opened wide as he echoed, “Gray Sky?†The dirty wolf nodded, grunting as a gash on his neck stretched from the movement. “Why do you reek of enemy?†Azure Fang twitched an ear to show that he was no longer showing aggression, seeing as this wolf was an old friend. Gray Sky dipped his head and snarled, “Enemies have led me here. I chased the pack into this clearing, where I was caught by a trap set by man that they knew about. The scum have become familiar with these forests of ours under our noses, and know it inside out! They then rubbed their scent all over me, and here I am as bait.†Azure Fang crouched down into a wary battle stance, his legs bent and large paws in front of him, claws gleaming in an absent light. “Are they still here?†He continued forward and mangled the metal toothed device between sharp teeth, releasing his friend who was answering, “They are watching as we speak, look!†And as the cobalt furred wolf spun his head around, he was met by the glares of about twenty pairs of narrowed, flaming eyes. The anger that would send most running was there, not a wary tension, and the growls of the wolves thundered on the single side of the sheltered undergrowth. Azure Fang slashed his tail in grim satisfaction, calling to the concealed pack, “You can hide, cowards. We’re always prepared, even when the sign of danger isn’t until after you have come.†As Azure Fang’s lips curled into a lupine smile, the thin forms of wolves started to pad into the clearing to stand next to their leader. All along, there had been a pack following this unreal colored animal. The intruders stormed into the open circle in the woods, their lean bodies not haunted by hunger like the defenders. Howling and snarling ripped through the air like the claws of the wolves ripped through their enemies’ flesh. A dark brown wolf leaped at Azure Fang, who rolled over to the right and slammed his body into another enemy wolf who was charging a female of the pack, who had her back turned and trying to get her teeth on the tender throat of the attacker. The ethereal looking leader howled and flung himself back at the first wolf that had went for him, who was once again clawing his way over in a wild dash. This time, however, someone must’ve slashed through his shoulder, because he was faltering in the run and blood was flowing from three deep gashes. A sand colored female crashed into the blue wolf, and he coughed and tumbled from the end of his leap. He spun on her, but he stopped when he realized it was a member of his own pack. The distraction was enough for the pursuer, and Azure Fang spat again as claws dug into his spine. Jumping and twirling in circles, the alpha tried vainly to throw the angry canine off his back. The raging attacker held onto through the petty attempt, raking the claws on the ragged back of the leader. Snarling, Azure Fang rolled over onto the ground, slamming the brown wolf off his paws and onto the dirt. Spinning around at the call of his name, Azure Fang saw a pack member of his resembling a fox in every way except for the body of wolf. The strange patterned wolf sprinted up to the leader, a gash under his chin bleeding on his chest. His copper eyes glinted with pain as he began to speak. “We can’t keep up! We have to retreat!†The blue wolf narrowed his eyes and growled, “Never, Fox Flame! This ends in one battle, THIS battle!†Fox Flame half growled, half coughed as he spun around and roared, “Then I’ll end this myself!†Kicking off of the sandy grained dirt of the clearing, the orange pelt of the wolf was lost between the spitting and biting rivals. Azure Fang turned and bowed his head, taking a breath before leaping into fight again. His eyes took in the bloody clearing, though he was encouraged by the fact that only one of his own was dead, and around five of the other’s were lying motionless, dying or worse. This battle might not have as many losses as he thought. Spinning in new energy, he clamped the closest wolf’s tail between razor sharp teeth. The white furred wolf spun around, yellow eyes burning in rage at the alpha’s trap. Falling for it, the white wolf swung a massive paw at the snout of the blue hued wolf, which let go of the tail as the victim was turning and then bit down on the foot. Squealing shrilly and helplessly like a puppy, the wolf’s eyes widened and he broke free from Azure Fang. The snowy pelt disappeared in defeat through the thick undergrowth. A shriek of rage and sadness filled the air from the mouth of an enemy wolf. Azure Fang recognized him as the attacker of the sand colored wolf in his pack, but this time the sooty colored animal was in the grip of defeat. He was standing protectively over the body of a reddish colored wolf, which was lying motionless on the ground. Azure Fang realized at once that the battle had ceased, for this wolf must have been the leader of the other pack. Fox Flame limped away from the body, brown eyes shining with satisfaction at the kill he had made for his pack. He showed no pride in raising his head, though, which Azure Fang approved of silently. He didn’t want one of his followers acting arrogant, especially at a moment as important as this. Stepping forward, a white furred wolf murmured to the azure wolf, “You…you have killed our leader.†The soot colored wolf shouldered past her and roared, “You heartless killers! You show no pride as wolves by killing our leader!†Azure Fang’s tail twitched, silencing the enemy. “And invading a starving pack’s territory and feeding your already fat selves’ is something to be proud of?†The wolf’s eyes continued to glare with hatred, but he looked down at the ground and lowered his tail. The alpha of the winning pack swished his tail, signaling to the other side to leave. “You have one hour to be out of this place. You have no hour to ever return.†Growling, the healthy pack, now covered in scars that would last for many months, pushed through the bushes and crawled out in defeat. “Fox Flame, come here.†The leader’s eyes met the wolf warrior’s, and the alpha continued, “You killed the other pack’s leader, and that ended the battle. I am grateful for that, as I am sure we all are. I pray that our deceased kin will feel the same as they watch this scene today.†“We lost,†the wolf continued, “A friend today. One of our loved ones, Raging Sun, has died in battle, fighting to the last breath to save our hallowed woods.†At these words, a howl rose above the leader, a melancholy sound that was sadder than that of a loon’s hum at the sunset. It was Fox Flame, again in the spot light, but this time instead of pride there was a wave of stiff helplessness at the loss of a mate. “Our puppies…my puppies…†Fox Flame’s head drooped, and he collapsed onto the ground, sending up a small cloud of dirt where his tail slashed the forest floor. “They are so young, and now…†“I am sure that Raging Sun will walk with them forever, in spirit. They will learn to walk as strong as her.†Azure Fang flicked his tail and murmured in a kinder note, “If you wish to bury her here, that is fine. Mourn how you like, my dear friend. Let he spirit walk with peace forever more.†Azure Fang led the rest of the pack through the bushes and back into the sea of trees called their home, finding shelter on the way to their real grove, which they considered base, to rest for the next day’s trek.
This was really fun to read. It was fluid, though work a bit more on the description of the battle parts, which were very well writen, but could be a bit more clearer....just a bit. I thought this was really good. better than what I write. It was truly enjoyable for me.
Haha, thanks xD I know all to well that the battle parts needed more work, I was ranting about it on MSN before I finished this :'D Better than to edit it now, I think I should work on that more the next chapter :3 Thanks a lot <3 I appreciate it xD
The battle parts are not bad, so I really don't see any need to change them, as you said. I've never really done battle parts, so I don't know how hard they can be, but I'd say yours are clearer than most.
I agree with Forgotten Hyme, It is very enjoyable to read >.< Especially the beginning for me, they way you described the wolf is different from what others would think of Nice work if I do say so myself
Haha, thanks guys <3 I started writing a second chapter, but then I turned this into a webcomic. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post you to the link, I need to ask staff :3
