Wo/mens' health. (Read at your discretion, slight unfavorable choices)

So I kind have a lot to say over this topic, and wanted to bring it up to get more opinions (from women mostly, since this is a topic about them but no discrimination)
I've taken in how wild it was, that I honestly DIDN'T know almost nothing about my body. Yes, I took health class about 5-7 years ago but they never talked MUCH about specific genders and how the body works. I only knew my anatomy and how my body conceived and how birth/child growth was/worked. Nothing else.

I'm 22 y/o who is just NOW getting on a birth control, and I'm not ashamed by it. However, I did experience the horrors of pregnancy and I ended up getting an abortion. Me and my S/O aren't ashamed of it. And this is the part I want to discuss, I guess.

I went to an OB/GYN this morning, I set up this appointment almost two weeks ago. And I told them I needed a check up (pap smear or w/e) and I needed to get back on a birth control (I was given an IUD that sadly was rejected for reasons unknown). They suggest to women/girls to get on BC as soon as you become sexually active/want a better menstrual cycle. (my mother refused all of this, even tho I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18). Anyways, we were going over the forms of BC, and on the diagram I was given shown sterilization. She IMMEDIATELY smiled and said "We won't talk about this." And moved on. I was HIGHLY annoyed.

I believe that children are not a god send, and I'm not a typical house/wife/mother type. I don't see the significance of children and don't want any. And I doubt I'll ever change my mind (I've thought this since I was 16). As someone who paid a **** ton of money to have an abortion done, I like to believe it's a sign that ME DON'T WANT KIDS and I SHOULD be given this option. In some states, you have to have a certain about of children before they will ever suggest/talk to you about sterilization. It's annoying to KNOW that I have to go through turmoil before a doctor/surgeon/physician can take me seriously on this idea.

At the facility I went to, (for my previous BC and procedure) they were informative but it seems from this OB/GYN she was shocked at what I was telling her and she began to feel bad for me. And I felt uneducated, and it was hard to tell if she got annoyed (because I asked her to explain all forms of BC which the other facility didn't do) or something else.

So my questions are, do you use a BC? Did your OB/GYN seem annoyed by your questions? What are your opinions on sterilization? Do you think she should have talked to me about it anyways?

If you can't be mature, please don't comment.

 

I went on birth control earlier this year, almost six months ago. I am on pretty standard, take-it-once-a-day combination pills. My mom never spoke to me about birth control nor do American schools really provide comprehensive sex education, so going on birth control was a decision I made after I started having sex. Truth be told I waited way too long but after a pregnancy scare and doing research into abortions (which, while I'm lucky to live in an area where they are fairly accessible and cheap (a few hundred from the research I did), still are something I want to avoid), I got more serious about it. I've had a rough time adjusting to it, the hormonal changes have exacerbated some depression issues I've had. Happily now that I'm finishing off the fifth month I think I'm adjusted. But after seeing what the pills have done for my menstrual cycle, I'd really recommend them to any teen (I'm no doctor so I don't know how that might affect their development) purely for the shorter, lighter, more regular periods. And that way, if and when they decide to start having sex, they're prepared.

That said, your experience getting birth control and with doctors can vary hugely. Personally I went to Planned Parenthood and the process was fairly painless. They offer basic gynecological services too, they tried to get me to schedule a pap smear. I did have to pay out of pocket, but that's based on your insurance plan. It wasn't a lot of money and my prescription is covered by insurance at least. But what's great about them is that they will sit down with you and make sure you know your options. I went in having done some research and wanted to try the pill first, but the nurse was perfectly willing to inform me about the IUD, depo shot, patch, etc. There was no judgment, they listened to my choice for the pill, and were informative on how to use the pill and what my other options and questions were. It doesn't sound like your OBGYN had your interests in mind and I would highly recommend finding either a different doctor or a Planned Parenthood clinic in your area.

However, most doctors are going to be reluctant to perform sterilizations no matter what. And there's definitely social biases that go into that and some medical concern as well (the process can cause complications). But it doesn't surprise me if this was the same doctor who rejected you for an IUD, which sounds like the best option for you. They're something like 99% effective because there's nothing to **** up like the pill (taking it late, missing pills, etc.) beyond the doctor placing it and they can last like 10 years. There's outdated belief out there that women shouldn't try it until they have had children, but from what I have read that's since been proven to have no real medical basis.

I'm really sorry your experience has been bad and I think you should look for a different facility or clinic. IUDs are very popular because of their reliability and potential for long-term protection. They would be a great fit for you and you should find a doctor who is willing to give you one or at least talk to you about your options and basically treat you like an adult capable of making choices about her own body.

 

@Misty correct me if I'm wrong, @Shuhbooty , but I think she means that she was given an IUD but her body rejected it.

I've been on the pill (not consistently) for about 3 years now. Before that, I got a contraceptive implant in my arm, but it didn't work out for me and I had it removed as it seriously messed up my cycle. The pill has been great for me, regulating and reducing the heaviness of my periods.

I don't blame doctors for being hesitant to discuss sterilisation as a contraceptive options. It is a life-changing and body-altering procedure and you're still young. So, for a doctor I can see why it would be hard to justify what they would see as an 'unnecessary' procedure given that there are other forms of contraception. Sterilisation is so final.

I am also pretty opposed to having children and I'm 26. I may have considered tubal litigation when I was younger if it were easily available but I have mellowed out a bit now. I know that I could change my mind (not likely, but I like to keep my options open). Although, if I ever develop a nurturing side, fostering/adoption seems more appealing anyway.

 

Oh yeah I must have misread that. Did the doctors tell you why? The only complications I have read about for it are if the doctor places it incorrectly and then problems people have with the hormones (if it is a hormonal IUD). There are many different types out there that may be worth a shot, but if there was some kind of medical reason you couldn't have it then obv that's more important. I read it as your doctor rejected you for one.

 

My OB/GYN says that because I got the IUD as soon as I was done having the abortion, my body has to have time to heal. And it wasn't given that chance. She said that I was lucky pretty much. I had clots the size of lemons and it was because my body was clensing itself, but also because it wouldn't pass properly. (this is gunna be gross to some) But clots encased the whole IUD, and my body was just trying to get ride of it and the clots. I also had this done at a planned parenthood. I was rushed and had a serious talk with my GYN, telling her I wasn't told about any other options.. and that they could have potentially given me life altering/serious complicated problems because they put in the IUD so fast. I was naive, and scared. And they just wanted to rush me out because it was a busy clinic. And I feel used, in a sense. I wasn't given all the details I needed, and I'm scared to ever walk into another PPH honesty. I even questioned if the abortion was even completed, that's how bad I was treated.
@Mish I have the arm implant one now. I got it Tuesday morning. After going through all the options for contraceptives, I thought this would be the best. (because i didn't want another IUD I'm still pretty upset over the last one, and the pills are super specific and I'm forgetful of time).

I can see what y'all are saying about the sterilization. My S/O and I talked about it, and we too think it would be best to just adopted if we ever wanted children. I also (see now) that you are right. So someone in their 20s (an I'm assuming older) might chance their mind one day.

 

My wife has been taking a birth control shot for about five years. It's the only kind she's taken. She gets it every three months. As far as I know, no medical professional actually said anything negative to her about it. Her family on the other hand was not happy because they said she didn't need it if we weren't having premarital sex (we were lol). Regardless of the main reason she takes it (to avoid pregnancy), she quickly discovered a huge benefit: it regulates her periods. If anything, I think that's become the main reason why she takes it. Even if -for whatever reason- we were never to have sex again, she'd still take it just for that. Every once in a while, she'll still get a bad cycle, but it's pretty rare.
As for sterilization, she has kidney issues which may already prevent her from having kids (not confirmed, just a small possibility we're keeping in mind while she's learning the full extent of her issues) but she doesn't want any for a few more years. Even then, she's talked about not wanting to bring kids (especially mixed-race kids) in while the world is as crazy, dangerous, and hateful as it currently it is. That said, I don't think she'll actually consider sterilization given the option, but that's just how she is personally. I'm a fan of adopting, but I wouldn't be opposed to having a surrogate/freezing our sperm and eggs.
I think -just like with abortion- it should be up to the woman. It is her body. Significant others should always be a part of the conversation, but they aren't the ones who are ultimately carrying it. If anything, any procedure related to this subject should be treated with education and not judgment; the doctor(s) should make sure the patient has all of the information and objective facts, but the decision is still the patient's.

This doesn't affect me personally any as I'm a man, but that's just how I see it and what my experience with my wife is.