'Twas the Night Before Christmas - a KH-Vids poetic satire

Twas the night before Christmas, when in the site we infer,
Not a member was stirring, not even Zter.
The rep boxes were hung by the profiles with care,
In hopes that Tienewman soon would be there.

The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Plums' tales danced in their heads.
And Misty in her ‘kerchief, and RvR in his cap,
Had just logged out for a long winter’s nap.

When out in the Spam Zone there arose such a clatter,
I logged on quite quickly to see what was the matter.
Away to the new thread I flew like a plane,
Read quickly the new posts and saw those that remained.

The moon on the breast of the new-posted words
Gave the lustre of NobodiesReprieve to things seen and heard.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny staff deer.

With a little old driver, so lively with kin,
I knew in a moment it must be Tienewman.
More rapid than Amaury's posts his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Wolfie! now, Stardust! now, Claw and Forsaken!
On, Chevy! On, Sabby! on, on Jayn and Ienzo!
To the top of the thread! to the top of the board!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away!" He roared.

As insulting posts that before the wild flame war fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the thread-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of rep, and Tienewman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard the sounds of these ghosts
The prancing and lol-ing of each little post.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down into my profile Tienewman came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with spam and soot.
A bundle of rep he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an adbot, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his avatar how merry!
His text was like roses, his signature like Cherry's!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and an attitude to like,
That appeared when he spoke, like mixt and Mike!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old sir,
And I laughed when I saw him, as nice as the Coders!
A wink of his avatar and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He typed not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a smirk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, out of my profile he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to the staff gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the flight of a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to KH-Vids, and to KH-Vids a good-night!"

 

Bravissimo.

 

Brilliant.

If only you could have incorporated more members. But rhyming wins out, as always. Great job.

 

That was beautiful.

 

This was perfect.

I leave all to you What, in my will.

 

Yes! The rep worked!

This was beautiful What?. Thank you.

 

I love the part where he calls on the Staff members.


Hahaha