Thin Privilege

This is something I've heard about for a while now, but seen a lot of recently. The idea that people should accept overweightness, and that the mere act of being thin or talking about being thin is incredibly offensive to fat people.
It's basically equated to something like race or sexuality. I'm already not particularly fond of the concept of straight or white privilege (a person on my facebook just shared a lovely post about a person saying how white women can't experience rape because privilege) but the concept out thin privilege just seems stupid to me.
Unlike a sexuality or race, this is something that more often than not you CAN change, and even if you can't change it, you should probably want it gone because it's NOT HEALTHY.
This is coming from the perspective of a mildly overweight person. I don't feel like everyone should just accept my fatness, I think I should take steps to lose weight, and put on a little muscle. Because then I'll probably live a little longer and be able to do more things.

This thread sparked to you by this

 

Weight is a tricky thing. Some people gain it easily and find it hard to lose, some the opposite—and it can be affected by just about anything from your mental state to heritage, to any medication you're taking, to the fricking climate in your hometown. The effort it takes to lose weight and keep it lost is grossly underestimated, even by those who used to be fat and slimmed down. So no, I don't think fat people should be expected to lose weight to be happy, or at all, unless it poses a severe and immediate risk. You wanna be able to walk unassisted, that's about where I draw the line. When it comes down to it, most of us are living with some s██t that'll make us miserable when we're 60; no point judging somebody who's gonna be level with you soon.

That said, as someone who's been pretty round most of my life I don't believe thin people have any advantage over me and I'm not offended by their presence. Being tall and fat together keeps me from enjoying certain things to the fullest, but I've made peace with that. It's gotten to the point that I don't really want to be skinny, I'd just like to be in shape... maybe build some core muscles while I'm at it. I'm always gonna be a big fella, it's in my bones if nothing else. And there's nothing wrong with that.

 

I think thin privilege just isn't a very good moniker in general. There are people that automatically judge people who are overweight/bulkier and people are bullied over this (I was pretty overweight when I was younger and there were comments flung in my direction before people got to know me). I do think that being overweight isn't necessarily indicative of poor health; I eat junk food way too much and am very out of shape. As Nova said above (thank god for 'load posts'), the way people retain/lose weight varies, and someone who could weigh 30 pounds more than me could probably be in much better shape than I am currently.

Weight is a sensitive issue to some people, and we should of course respect those wishes. But if they're trying to dogmatically force others to not compliment someone for losing weight and getting in shape when that person wanted to, then I have a problem with that. If someone legitimately wants to lose weight themselves, or start exercising or whatever, we should be happy for them. If someone doesn't want to be thin, or is fine with the weight they're current at, we should be happy for them.

People's bodies are their own, and if they feel good and proud of their bodies, then I don't think it's anyone's place -- overweight, skinny, buff, etc. -- to judge them for that.

 

This. So much this. Ahem. I am 5'7-8", and I weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 130 lbs. I live in America. I can't tell you how many times I've been affronted by beefy (More cheeseburger than steak, but their solidarity makes it hard to convince them that their chub is not, in fact, any better than my litheness) people simply for being quiet and skinny. Women, often ones I'm interested in, often tell me "God, I wish I had your body" and not in the way one would hope. Always women with all but the fewest exceptions. I can't help having a fast metabolism, and yet I am to be nothing but reverent to the populace around me since I am one and they are many. Why is this a problem? You don't want to be skinny. Even working out as much as I do, I'm basically human shaped, but still relatively weak because my build simply can go so far. People, I believe, in general are estranged entirely to the concept of what is thin and fit. They assume no problems come with being thin, and all their problems will disappear once they lose weight. So, in turn, it makes to shame me, the thin mildly fit guy who has all his problems put together, right? God, I wish more recognized it was wrong. There's no privilege that inherently comes with being thin. Being too skinny and being too fat are generally unhealthy, but due to which way the scales tip (no pun intended), the majority of the populace will think the grass is greener on the other side, and so they fall into despair.

Simply, here's the way I see it:

Think of three potters. No, none are Hairy or Harry. They make clay pots. All three potters order the same exact shipment of the same kind of clay. The first potter, skinny, gets no clay at all, and still is expected to make pots from his lack. The second, average and fit, gets the right amount and if he works, then the pots will be made, but if he falls behind, he will become like the third who gets far too much clay at once and cannot keep up with the supply side.

Nobody has it easy.

 

But that's the thing, if you're not going to put in effort to lose weight, whatever that effort may be, then you need to make peace with it, like you have (and to frank, I have, I just bought 2 bottles of pop lol) rather than take it out on "the thins" or whatever. People shouldn't be dicks to people about their weight, but frankly people shouldn't be dicks to people period, and weight is a controllable enough thing that I feel comfortable lumping it in with other things people are dicks about. If it's such a huge issue for you, then surely the effort it would take to improve on it is worth it? Obviously there are exceptions, people who legitimately can't, or it's just too hard to be worth it, but that's not common enough for me to think it's comparable to something like sexuality, race or gender.

I don't like people commenting on my belly or something, but I feel like this kind of thing is just a handy way to convince yourself that you're somehow stuck with what you have, that you can blame the world for it, and basically drain any self empowerment and responsibility.
I guess the big issue is that whatever the context, being overweight isn't a good thing. Same deal with being underweight. It's not like being attracted to a certain sex or something, it's something that actively harms your body, and honestly not something I think should be defended. Tolerated, definitely, but accepted, probably, but praised? Encouraged? No way

 

Comparable to those three? Nah, not even close. But I think it's tougher than you give it credit for, and it is pretty common for the effort to be more than it's worth, which is why people regress and gain the weight back a lot. The reason for that is the fact that you start out just being fat, but then people give you crap for it, and that builds a complex around it. Of course I'm not tryna defend those people's right to be dicks about it. They don't have the right.

That much I can concede. People should never think they have no control. But the odds can get stacked pretty high against them. Either way, taking it out on other people is absolutely unacceptable, I'm with you there. None of us asked for our lot in life, even the lucky ones.

I've... never heard someone praise someone else for being overweight, or encourage others to gain excess weight. Not sure what you're referring to.

 

I know it's tough, but it's also not as hard as it seems. If you're diligent and don't make excuses, it can be almost easy, even if you're not inclined to lose weight through your genes or environment. It's just so much easier to make an excuse, or slack off. That's the main reason I still have a belly, I found 'better' things to do with my time. But now I try to go for a walk every day, and I've been super diligent about it, and I've lsot some weight already and but on a bit of muscle. Taking the first step is the hardest part, and sticking with it is the second hardest.

So many of the odds are in your head though. This is true with MOST things, and something I've slowly been discovering. Very few things are actually HARD to do, but rather we build them up and tell ourselves they are. But a lot of people, myself, and probably you included, would much rather take the easier option and BLAME something. "Oh I can't lose weight because obesity runs in my family" well did you try? For how long? Is that an excuse to not try? Again, exceptions to every rule, but even then, surely you would still WANT to, since cases where you can't avoid being overweight are generally not very pleasant.

It's part of this thin privilege thing, not necessarily that you should gain weight (though I've seen arguments that people who are overweight are happier, kinda in the same way some people argue being gay or trans makes you happier) but there's a lot of praise. It's generally well meaning, under the impression that they're countering all the negativity the person experiences for being overweight, but it encourages what I said earlier, treating being overweight like it's a force of nature they can't control

 

I understand what you're trying to say. I think it's a good lesson to teach, I just worry that it may itself be used as an excuse to shame and criticize people who have trouble losing weight for whatever reason.

This all looks good on paper, but something crucial is missing. Yes, it is all in your head. Yes, we make mountains out of molehills by overthinking them. So? Recognizing that doesn't always make the problem easier to solve. This is something people with anxiety, depression, or really any form of mental illness of any severity may run into; your head is not perfectly under your control.

Until I started taking medicine a few months ago, I hadn't the motivation to do much of anything. I didn't take care of myself, I didn't do anything fun or productive... I just ate, slept and surfed the web. I tried to overcome it with willpower, recognize that my reluctance to do things for myself was my own design, but something kept me from getting the ball rolling. Chemicals that I couldn't will into place made me in turn lethargic and hypersensitive. All of the techniques my therapist recommended to me, all of the mantras I tried repeating to myself, none of them worked... until I got a boost.

Eventually, I had to look at myself and make the executive decision. I had to recognize that willpower was not working, and opt to try something else. And I'm fortunate enough to have loving parents who will go to any length to ensure my health and well-being. But I found out, in the end, that medicine is what it took—no more and no less. What if someone in the same situation couldn't afford it? Would you still tell them to power through it? You can't heal a broken leg by telling yourself it's not that bad. (Well, some people probably have, but that's a whole other sack of potatoes)

Honestly man, some people have body types that don't let them thin out. Like I said, I'm big-boned; I can lose all the weight I want but I'll probably still be a little pudgy in the end. That or malnourished. It's not about encouraging people not to take responsibility imo, it's about celebrating our differences and letting people be happy with something they really can't control. I'm not talking about people who are 400 lbs, mind you, there's no excuse for that. But for instance, I'm 6' and 310 and I don't believe I'm in any danger of a heart attack. I'm developing better eating habits daily, and I've drastically cut back on my sodium intake and general portions; but I'm probably not gonna drop below 290 just from that, which will probably still leave me looking fat.

 

There's always the opposite end of the pendulum, right?

That's the thing, it's differences and exceptions. Some people CAN'T do anything about it on their own... but then they do what you did and seek help. That's still you taking control of the situation. Recognizing it is the first step, and like I said, the first step is the hardest part. A person doesn't get anywhere by complaining about people having 'stable mind privilege' or 'non-broken leg privilege'
Another thing is, a lot of people are in the exact same position you were in, but did't even need drugs to fix it. A little over a year ago I was suicidally depressed. Nobody was jumping in to help me, the best I got was my parents suggesting drugs. Somewhere along the line I suddenly realized that I couldn't rely on people helping me, or changing other people, I had to change myself. So I kept making small changes, and forced myself to stick to them. I still haven't really recovered, I still have my bouts, but I've made a pretty huge dent in it. And the reason I was thinking about this is because when you mentioned chemicals, sure, you can't will them into existence, but a lot of the time you CAN get them by changing your diet. and I hope it doesn't come across this way, but I'm not trying to say you didn't need to take drugs, I feel you're smart enough to make that decision yourself, rather, what I'm trying to illustrate is that taking control comes in many forms, and it doesn't come fast, but it still takes the person's will to make it happen. YOU made the decision that you needed drugs, rather than to, say, complain about uh... "Self caring privilege"? I dunno. Anyways, my point is that all that realyl changed is you didn't use your will power as a battering ram, but rather you focused it into a new outlet. You still made the change happen.

I should have probably given a little more context to this, it's more along the lines of people encouraging someone when they, say, fail to stick to a diet or something. Or reinforcing there's notihng they can do about their weight when it's NOT something like you talked about. Basically downplaying the risk factor. Like you say you're not worried about getting a heart attack, but you still try to eat better, cut down on sodium and stuff. The number's not really what's important here, but the habits. Like the idea "oh, I'm gonna be fat no matter what, so I'll just eat all these cream puffs"

 

I'm gonna give this thread back to the rest of the forum now :'D I think we're pretty much on the same page, and the bottom line is it all takes personal effort and the determination not to be malicious to others, even out of hurt. Good talk.

 

The body acceptance movement does need to be careful not to cross over into enabling. While we shouldn't be shaming a person's lifestyle choices (i.e. diet & exercise), it is still important to promote healthy choices. That said, that's an extreme I don't think we've yet reached -- what people really want to do is advocate the embrace and acceptance of alternate body shapes and types by society. As many people in there are saying, body weight does not always reflect diet and exercise. A lot of it is genetic. I'm fairly small (5'2", ~120lbs) but I don't exercise as I should nor do I eat very well (trying to change that though!). Some people can be healthy eaters and exercise a lot and still be heavy. Mainstream body acceptance promotes people living in the way that makes them happy & healthy, whatever body shape that puts them in, as society tends to assume that the thin person is healthy and the heavier person is unhealthy.

Thin privilege is a bit of a different term and separate from body acceptance, which is more so what you're talking about. Thin privilege has been tossed around a lot lately in response to celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, who goes around calling herself fat and telling us about all the eating she does, despite being a fit, sometimes thin woman (depends on the role she's in as with most actors). And don't get me wrong -- I think it's great for a female role model to promote girls eating considering the media often sends a wildly different message. But as a thin person, she is speaking from a point of privilege. To quote from a tumblr post (it's actually about John Green, who is accused of a similar privilege, but they mention JLaw):

http://thedramaticmurderer.tumblr.c...t-curious-cuz-i-dont-know-all-that-much-about
( not saying I totally agree with everything in the post but all the same )

 

My best friend has got a biological problem with the gland in her neck (the name has literally just vanished from my mind) meaning she gains weight so easily and it depresses her so much. She has been on a diet for years now and has lost a lot of weight and looks amazing but she is not a stick figure and I think it hurts her a lot. She is one that is so accepting of fat people, she finds them cute and will watch programs like "Fat camp" and cry at the people in the place trying to lose weight. She works so hard trying to lose all that weight, she exercises so much and eats so healthily and yet nothing she does changes it really.

I myself have had weight problems and it has brought unto me so much grief and self hate, I always find it hard to try and accept my weight because I just can't, it repulses me and I can't get around it. These last few months though I have lost a lot of it from just generally eating less which is great and makes me feel a lot better in my own skin and I think that is the most important thing- no one should be encouraged to lose weight (unless it's severely affecting their health) but they should do it on their own accord if they are unhappy with it. Same with thin people shouldn't be told to gain weight (unless it's severely affecting their health) unless they are unhappy.

 

@Ienzo yeah. I work on building up because it makes me feel unhappy to be thin. If I haven't made the point clear before, then I'll do it now: just as it's perceived in the media it is unacceptable for a woman to be anything but a size zero, and progress is being made in that department to make curves more popular, thin men are simply not men. I live as a "Steve Roger" among men with guts thinking they are closer to Captain America because they are more solid. We're apparently women, because I have yet to know a girl who is fine with seeing a guy who either weighs as much or less than she does. I've had girlfriends, but 9 times out of 10, weight has been an issue. Not on my part, but it turns into my problem.

I'm getting a lot peace from reading from everybody else. So much understanding of both sides of the spectrum here. I just want to say thanks as a guy from an area where everyone has a little packed away always for the Winter as far away as Spring. Where I live, there's virtually no fat shaming because there's rarely a person big enough to stand out. So to me, "thin privilege" is all the more laughable, but that doesn't mean I don't get where it comes from. It's one thing to want to change for yourself, but when that gets mixed up with having to change so you can live among short-sighted people, it gets rough.

 

I rarely care about my overweightness and more my mass. It's annoying to slug around in uncomfortable clothes or sit in some seats comfortably because of it. But it's surprising, most of the clothes I actually have problems with aren't related to my fat mass, but my actual physique. My thighs are naturally thick without fat which has caused me problems on long walks or exercising, where the material of my clothing rubs together against my skin, so much that I start to shred the skin off which is disturbing. Or as annoying, my shoulders are naturally wide and finding some shirts and especially jackets that fit me nicely are near impossible without spending proper money.

I've never heard of thin privilege, sounds like balls. Overweightness should be accepted, as much as we accept smoking or alcohol consumption. Excess is very bad and if someone's going too far with it, it's their job to deal with it as long as they're not hurting anyone. I've been told by thin people they'd love to be more like me, because they find it impossible to put on weight. I never really thought about it like that before, because there are health problems associated with being too thin as well and bulking up at a steady rate is just as hard as losing it. I am happy to talk about it, I don't think there should be a stigma on anyone on their weight as long as they know and aim to do better. Again, like smoking or drinking.

Saying all that, I may be fat, but I eat healthy, and I care more about that right now than being overweight. I've cut back on food portions or replaced them with healthier alternatives and life is perkier now, not as sluggish or tiring and just easier to deal with. I know my problem is exercise, that I need to really work at improving that, but I doubt i'd lose much weight and am content with what I weigh for now. Honestly, I make more jokes at myself for being fat than anyone has in years. Who cares? Kids point out differences and shout about it. I thought adults would be better.

 

This is so true, the negative effects media has on women gets an awful lot of coverage but the male equivalent is barely looked upon but it's just as degrading and harmful to the self esteem. Women must be size 0 and men must all have six packs and be manly, the double standards is shocking.

On the subject of attractiveness, everyone is different which I have only really discovered recently, and if people understood that more then they'd hopefully realise how attractive they are to some people and not others : D For example, my best friend just loves 'pudgy' guys and just doesn't see the attraction in loads of muscles or being skinny and I am the exact opposite, I find skinny guys much more appealing and care very little for muscles. Just thought I'd add that : D