Enjoy the first chapter of my new story the wedding:D _-_-_-_-_-_ Chapter one - Finding Out The sunset was amazing, just like every night on Destiny Island. Riku was sitting alone looking past the brilliant blue sea and straight ahead to the sky. He was thinking like he usually did. He heard running footsteps cross the wooden bridge and onto the islet, Sora jumped over the Paopu tree and leaned his back against it, not bothering to look at Riku. “Nothings changed, huh?” Riku said still looking out at the sunset. “Nope. Nothing will.” “What a small world.” “But part of one that’s much bigger.” “Yeah.” “Hey Riku,” Sora lifted his head up to look at him. “What do you think it was- the door to the light?” Riku jumped down from the Paopu tree and faced towards Sora. And pointed his right hands index finger at Sora’s heart. “This.” “This?” Sora moved his left hand to his chest. “Yeah. It’s always closer than you think.” Sora seemed confused at first, and then he smiled. “Sora! Riku!” They both looked towards the sound and saw Kairi running to them with something in her hand. When she got close to them, she stopped to catch her breath. “Hey what’s up?” Sora asked moving closer to her After catching her last breath she held up a bottle with a note in it. “Look.” “From the King?” Sora grabbed the bottle from her and opened the cork. Tipping the bottle upside down he grabbed the note from inside it. Riku standing on his right side and Kairi on his left. They read the note together. It was a letter sent by King Mickey from Radiant Garden saying, “…Princess Kairi has to be married by the age of 16 or she will be forced into an arranged marriage.” _____________________________________________________________. After reading letter, Sora Kairi and Riku sat on the paopu tree, too shocked to say anything, staring out at the familiar sunset. “I just wish it wasn’t so sudden.” Kairi said being the first one to talk. Not raising his gaze from the sky Sora said, “So what are you going to do Kairi?” “You don’t think we could fight this agreement do you? If we can’t then I guess I’m just going to have to get… married.” Kairi struggled with the last word. Sora didn’t say anything after that. Sora was thinking to him self “Because of this we’ll have to be separated again. This is exactly what would happen to us. We finally unite together on the islands and now this happens.” Sora was beginning to feel let down. He thought he would finally get a chance to be with Kairi. At least he had until her 16th birthday. “I’ll be right back.” Sora watched Kairi slide off the paopu tree and walk across the bridge, and then continued on with his thinking. Sadness etched across his face. Riku, who was listening to there short conversation, looked over to Sora and noticed his expression. “Seriously Sora?” Sora glanced up at Riku who had one eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?” Sora said trying to sound his usual up beat self. “I know what you’re thinking. You think she would rather get married to a complete stranger who is probably way to old for her?” Riku told Sora. “Well… no but who knows that she’ll pick me?” He shook his head back and forth, brunette spikes flying in all directions. “I could ask Namine` and see what she knows.” Roxas said in the back of Sora’s mind. Sora jumped 5 feet onto the air. Surprised by Roxas` voice. He was being really quiet. “Can you do that?” “Do what?” asked a confused Riku. “Huh? Oh nothing Riku, just talking to Roxas.” Riku, being the smartest of the 3, never got the concept about nobodies. “Hm ok don’t mind me then.” “Ok so what were you saying Roxas?” “Well I could talk to Namine` and see if Kairi’s been talking to her about the wedding engagement.” “That’s great when can you ask her?” “Um right now if you want.” “YEAH!” Riku jumped a little at his outburst. Sora was staring to sound like his old self, knowing that he might actually get a chance to know what Kairi was going to do. “Mkay be right back. Look Sharp.” And with that Sora could feel his connection with Roxas disappear. ____________________________________________________________. *Kairi* “Namine` what do think I should do?” Kairi had gone to her favorite place to sit and think – Hers and Sora’s secret spot. “Well I’m sure Sora-“ Namine` lost her thought because someone was calling her name, but it sounded like “Roxas?” “Hey girls.” “ROXAS! Is that you?” Kairi couldn’t believe she was hearing his voice inside her head. “Yup hi Kairi.” “It sounds so good to hear your voice… but wait what are you doing inside my head?” “Uh well I need to talk to Namine` for a sec.” “Hey! Shouldn’t you be asking me?” “Oh yeah sorry. Let me try that again… Hey Namine` sorry for disrupting your peace and quiet inside Kairi’s head but can I talk to you for a little bit.” “Well I wouldn’t call it quiet,” She heard Kairi grunt at that comment and giggled to herself. “, But ok.” This was why she loved Roxas so much because of the sarcastic humor he and Sora shared. “Kairi, you can deal without me right?” “Of course! I’m not that hopeless.” “Sure you aren’t, ok I’ll be right back.” Kairi felt Namine` and Roxas leaving her mind, wondering about where they could possibly be going. But that wasn’t really important to her. She went back to thinking about the wedding to come, alone this time, and looking at all the different pictures she and Sora drew. When the one she was searching for was found she stared at the two people giving each other a Paopu fruit. “Ugh what am I going to do?” _______________________________________________________________. *Sora* “-So that’s why it’s called the Kuiper Belt.” Riku finished his story. When he looked back at Sora: he was sleeping on his right arm. Riku sighed and shook him up. “Uh hmm… what?” Sora woke up and looked around dazed. Then he noticed Riku wasn’t talking anymore. “Oh ummm great story Riku.” Sora scratched his head with one arm and gave him an embarrassed smile. Riku just shook his head. “Back!” Sora jumped another 5 feet into the air then realized who was speaking. “It’s about time Roxas.” Riku knew he wasn’t going to be included in this conversation, so he decided it was time to go back home. “I’m going to get home now, see you tomorrow Sora. Say goodnight to Kairi for me.” He waved and started home. “Mkay bye Riku.” He waved back and then concentrated back on Roxas. “Hi Sora.” Namine` said quietly. “Namine`? Umm you know you’re suppose to be in Kairi’s head right?” Sora said with confusion written all over his face. “Uh huh. Roxas brought me here to ‘talk’ to me.” “Umm right when I said ‘I need to talk to you’ I meant Sora does.” Roxas gave a laugh hoping Sora wouldn’t be angry with him. “Oh… well this is better. Now I can ask her the questions myself.” He heard Roxas give a breath of relief. “What do you want to know?” Sora could see Namine` interlocking her fingers in the back of his mind. Sora was a little nervous to ask the question he wanted to know the most, because of the powers he knew she had, so he went with a basic question… “Um how is Kairi doing?” “She could be better. But I know that’s not what you wanted to ask me.” “Oh… wait how did you know that?” Sora completely dumb-founded forgot Namine` was inside his head. “I can feel you’re emotions just like Roxas can. Come on you can ask me anything you want to know.” “Oh okay.” He still wasn’t sure. Ok here goes nothing Sora thought to himself pretty sure Roxas and Namine` heard it. “What is Kairi doing about this whole… situation?” “Sorry I can’t answer that.” “Uh wha- you said I could ask you anything.” “That didn’t mean I would answer it,” She un-knit her fingers and laid her arms gently down at her sides. “, I think you should ask Kairi about that. She’s confused about it and if you were to help her, I think she’ll be very appreciative.” “Ok I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try, I would do anything for her.” He heard Roxas and Namine` ‘awwww’ at the end of his sentence. “Well I got to get back to Kairi, goodnight Roxas.” Then she heard someone coughing to get her attention. “Right goodnight to you to Sora.” And with that she was gone. “I think I’ll ask Kairi tomorrow, it will be a new day.” “Sure, can you even handle it without making her sad or mad?” “That’s what I’m afraid of, I hate seeing her like that.” “So tomorrow then.” “I guess.” YAYS! Finally done with the first chapter. I worked really hard on it I hope you enjoyed it. This is my idea of what I thought could possibly (but not very possible) be in the bottle. I’m working on the next chapter now so it should be done by probably the end of this month. :D Bai bai thanks for taking precious time out of your day to read this, I really appreciate it. Comment, you can ask me questions about the story on my page or in the comment. Thanks yous!
It's nice to see new members posting, and that is good, but I must critique your story. First of all, it feels a bit choppy, and sometimes the reader doesn't truly get a feel for it. It seems you've got the basics down, just remember to add the emotion into your narrative. Also, the font is a little too big, so please try and change the size a bit?
Mkay i'll try harder next time >( i did kinda rush this one a bit. i dont have much time right now but i wanted to get my idea out there, you know what i mean?
When I first started reading it I got a strange sense of deja vu, as a rather famous piece of writing here begins very much like yours. Coincidences do occur, though, and I can see (as I progressed with my reading) that you've put quite a bit of effort into this. Your spelling and grammar is very neat and tidy, and I congratulate you on that. The story itself is a little predictable but as this is only the first chapter you're doing okay. What you mustn't do is let the entire story unfold through dialogue. If you look at your story so far it is mostly speech, and you need variation to truly make a good story. Nice effort, keep it up.
Yay YAy yAY! :D mkay i will try to make it less dialoguey lol and add some detail but not to much... and about the deja vu i dont know what your talking about :p
I would say you've improved, but in time I believe that you'll continue to do so. Try to make use of more elaborated narrative, and remember to use simile and metaphor to your advantage in order to keep improving. Keep it up.
YAYS! I read something like this on here before, but i love to read different stories so YES i can't wait for the next chapter to come out! :D tee hee i love the SoraxKairi couple!!! this is very sweet and good job on the no grammer errors and etc... KEEP IT UP!
I didn't realize alot of people had done this :p oh well can't stop now. I don't know when i can get the next chapter in, because i've been going through some hard times... maybe soon though
There probably will not be another chapter soon. Because my friend just... passed away. I am trying to work on it but i've got too much on my mind.
Hmmm, you've definitely got a lot of potential here. The writing is at times a bit... I suppose average might be a good word, but then there are times that it really catches my attention, which in my case is a excellent thing, as I'm not usually too keen on Sora/Kairi fics. The only way to improve is to keep writing, don't worry if it's not too great at first in your opinion, you can always go back and re-write parts you don't like. And usually there's always someone that will enjoy the specific part you didn't like, self-doubt is quite a big part of writing (unfortunately). You're off to a far better start than most fanfiction writers, especially if this is your first story. Just keep writing when you feel like it, the story will probably pick itself up when you get more confident and comfortable. I'm very sorry about your friend, losing loved ones is always tough. Don't feel a need to update this as soon as possible, you write when you feel like it. Don't give yourself deadlines, at least in my case that only makes the writing process longer. Good luck, and keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for your understanding. And thank you for your comment... I am officialy writing the next chapter now. I feel this sort of inspiration bubbling in me. I don't know when I will be done though I can't wait to post this chapter up :D
Chapter 2 ~A New Day~ This is the second chapter everybody! Woot woot! I can't believe I finished it already, but I guess I do have quiet a bit of free time. Enjoy comment and critic if there is any spelling errors etc. :D ~~~~ Kairi tossed and turned in her sleep. Her cream cotton sheets tangling her skinny body damp with sweat. _____ Kairi looked around at the familiar scene, she was standing on a sand platform. She heard someone call out her name and looked up. Surprise etched on her face as Sora came running up to her. “Sora.” They were mere inches apart when the ground shook. “Whoa!” Kairi fell forward, Sora caught her by the arm and helped her up so they could see eye to eye. Keeping her hand in his “Kairi remember what you said before? I’m always with you too. I’ll come back to you I promise!” The platforms were moving father and farther apart, there hands slipping from one another’s. “I know you will.” There hands broke, as they could no longer stay together. Staring back at each other for what felt like forever. “To be with him forever… that sounds perfect.” Kairi thought looking back at Sora one last time. ____ Kairi bolted strait up in bed breathing heavily. Trying to calm herself down she realized it was just a nightmare. She opened up her window next to the bed and closed her eyes to feel the cool breeze. “Just a dream.” Kairi took one last gulp of air and held it. “Well I wouldn’t exactly call it a dream, it did happen right?” Namine` said with a shaky voice. She felt what Kairi had felt and tried her best to keep herself calm. “Sorry Namine` did you see that?” Kairi whisper, trying her best to keep quiet. “Yeah, I’m okay… but I didn’t know you were so scared to lose Sora, um again I guess.” “Gah… not that scared.” Kairi unbuttoned her pajama shirt to reveal a white camisole and lay back down. She laced her fingers together and gently placed them on her stomach. Namine` was being quiet waiting for an honest answer. “Okay so maybe I would be complete mess is Sora had to go away again.” Just thinking about it made Kairi’s heart ache. She patted her stomach to try to get her mind off the subject. “I’m tired Namine` we can talk in the morning.” “Hmm alright goodnight Kairi.” Namine` felt badly about turning this into a conversation. Kairi turned onto her right side and looked out at the full moon, her eyes slowly closing shut thinking of happy thoughts. “Being with Sora forever…” Kairi thought to herself and with that she fell asleep peacefully. ~In the morning~ ~Kairi~ “Kairi?” “Uh… hmm.” “Kairi!” “Huh!” Kairi opened her eyes and recoiled from the brightness. When she opened them again she looked to where her alarm clock was on her bed-side-table. “6 o’clock? Why’s it so bright?” Kairi cupped one hand over her eyes to shield the sun. “It’s the brightest day of the year. You know what that means.” No answer from Kairi. “Uh… I guess you don’t remember. Today is when Destiny Island has a really big party down at the beach it’s like a holiday or something. You told me yourself.” “Oh… OH right! Sorry Namine` I’m still tired, from last night and all.” Kairi got to her knees and stuck her head out the open window, smelling the warm sea salt breeze. “I guess you also forgot that it is one of the most biggest dating events too?” Kairi could see Namine` give a sly smile and turned red. She lay back down on her bed and felt the sun’s rays give warmth to her body. “So do you know when the party starts? You seem to know every other detail.” Namine` gave a shy laugh “Hehe… actually that would be nice information to know.” “Guess I’m just going to have to go into town.” Kairi got out of bed; she could feel the soft carpet under her toes and walked over to her closet doors. “We can go shopping there too. I think I have some early birthday money from Granny and Pa.” She pulled on the handles and looked in her closet. “What so you think I should wear Namine`?” “Nothing to casual right now. You’re going to want to ‘wow’ Sora later.” Namine` giggled to herself but Kairi wasn’t laughing. “Sorry… okay I think that pink dress of yours will do fine.” “But it feels like I always wear that and it’s in the hamper so that’s out.” Kairi grabbed a gray T-shirt off a hanger and some denim shorts from a pile of clothing on the ground. “How about these together? It’s not to casual and it’s comfy.” “Okay sounds good.” “I can take a shower before the party. I don’t want to risk getting all dirty.” Kairi took off her pajama shirt, camisole and pants and threw them on her bed. She threw the gray T-shirt over her head and slipped the denim shorts on. She walked over to her full body mirror hanging on the wall next to her desk to check how she looked. “Great now that we have your outfit picked out lets work on that hair.” As Kairi was getting her flat iron out of the desk something dropped that looked like a star. She stopped and put the flat iron back on the desk and got down on her knees to see what it was. “Hah!” Kairi gasped to see that it was hers and Sora’s lucky charm. The charm she had given him to borrow when they were in Traverse Town. Tears were swelling up in Kairi’s eyes. Remembering only 2 years ago, it felt like forever ago. “Kairi?” Namine` sounded like she was going to cry do to Kairi’s emotions. Tears fell rapidly down Kairi’s cheeks but she was being quiet. “Kairi come on we have to get ready.” Namine` was crying now too. “I- I’m sorry Namine`… I never got over the fact that-“ Kairi was interrupted by a knocking on her door. She clenched the lucky charm tighter in her hands. “Kairi? Are you up?” A soft and sweet voice was muffled from behind the door. Kairi wiped the tears from her cheeks and got up. Putting the charm in her pocket. “Uh yeah mom I’m up.” She opened the door but not before she looked in the mirror. “Oh goo- Kairi? Are you okay sweet heart?” She rested her hands on Kairi’s shoulders her face full of worry and concern. She patiently waited for an answer. “It’s nothing mom. I’m just thinking about… stuff.” Kairi looked away from her mothers piercing green eyes. The charm felt heavy in her left pocket. “Do ya want to talk about it?” Her mom rubbed Kairi’s arms gently and pursed her lips like she always did when she was worried. Kairi smiled at her bothered mother and shook her head ‘no’. “Okay, but you know you can tell me anything right?” “Yes I know.” Kairi’s mom let go of her and went over to her hamper. “I’m doing the laundry have any other dirty clothes?” “No not that I know of.” Kairi looked around the room to double check. “Mkay, love you.” As she walked out of the room with Kairi’s dirty clothes, Kairi went back over to the desk, grabbed the straightener and plugged it in ready to finally get out of the house. ~Sora~ Sora and Selphie met up in Town Square where 100s of people were shopping, eating, or getting ready for tonight’s festival. Sora was here to buy something for Kairi and Selphie knew he could never pick out something decent so forced him into letting her go. “So where do you think we should go?” Sora looked at Selphie questioningly, he had no clue where to look. “We go to Kairi’s favorite store silly.” Her bubbly voice filled the air. She was dancing around and around not caring what other people thought. “Okay what did you have for breakfast? And what’s Kairi’s favorite store?” He looked around at all the different people and spotted a couple of kids resting by the fountain soaking in the sun. “He he. La la la di da!” Selphie sang out. Sora grabbed her arm before she could wander off. “Seriously Selphie! Are you on drugs or something?” Selphie was a bit shocked from Sora’s out burst. Sora noticed her face. “Sorry. But what is going on with you? You’re not normally this hyper.” “Oh um I actually don’t know. I drank some of Tidus` water after me, Wakka and him were done playing Blitzball. Now that you mention it Tidus was also acting hyper. Not like his usual self.” Selphie shrugged. “Ugh. The seawater would’ve probably been safer to drink. Who knows what Tidus put in that. I can ask him later for you but back to Kairi’s favorite shop?” Sora let go of his hold on Selphie. “Right umm let’s see… she likes a sea shell store around the corner by the docks it’s called Sally’s Seashells. I don’t really go in there alot. But you can go see what they have, I want to go see what’s on sale today.” Selphie smiled and ran off waving. “Do you think she will be okay by herself?” Sora’s friend amused Roxas. “Ah I don’t know. I’m sure she will.” Sora started around the corner looking up at the sky. When he got down to the docks sure enough there was a small store called ‘Sally’s Seashells’. “At least her memory’s fine, you think it was just a energy drink?” “Maybe. Lets go in.” Sora walked up to the little seashell antique store and checked it out. It was made of mostly wood and had nick knacks everywhere. Every shelf was different either by what items it had on it or the shape and look of the shelf itself. Running the cashier was an orange haired teen a little older than Sora. She had a blue camisole and white capris on. Her straight hair was long and had blonde highlights in it. “May I help you?” The cashier asked walking around the counter. Both hers and Sora’s footsteps echoed around in the store. “Uh hi. Do you know a girl named Kairi? A friend of mine says she comes here to buy seashells.” Sora still dumbstruck at how many items could fit onto one table finally looked at the teenage girl and was amazed to see she looked a lot like Selphie. “Yes I do. My little sister and her are best friends. Did you come here to look for her?” She gave a wide grin. “Oh my name is Sabine by the way.” “Sora. And I’m actually here to buy Kairi something.” Sora blushed and scratched his head. “I know you, you’re the one she likes.” Sabine pointed a finger at him and her smile grew even bigger which caused Sora to blush even more. “I know the perfect thing!” She rushed over to her counter and grabbed a blue rectangle box. Sora looked confused at first but then she opened it revealing a silver necklace with a sapphire star on its chain. It glimmered in the blinding sun pooling down from the stained glass windows. “That’s perfect! How much is it?” Sora looked at Sabine anxiously already imagining Kairi’s face when he gives it to her. “Originally 20 dollars.” Sora looked in his pocket for his money. “But for a friend with a special need… 10.” “Really?” Sora took the money out of his pocket and handed it to Sabine. Then she put the necklace back in the box and handed that to Sora. “Thanks so much Sabine.” “No problem. Come back soon will ya?” Sora nodded and ran out of the store and back onto the docks. He took out the necklace and admired it. “Kairi’s gonna love it man.” Roxas was looked at the sapphire star in awe. He couldn’t wait to see it on Namine`. “Yeah.” Sora was so absorbed in the beauty of the necklace. “So have you asked her yet?” Sora knew what he was getting at but just shrugged. To be honest Sora was nervous to ask Kairi to the party tonight. “Well you better. Ever since you told me about this holiday I can’t wait to dance with Namine`.” “Who said we were dancing? I don’t know how to dance.” “It’s a party Sora. You are supposed to dance at parties. Besides if you want to ask Kairi you better do it fast. Other guys have already asked her but she turned them down. If she thinks you aren’t going to she might end up with some jerk.” Sora put the necklace away and headed to Town Square to look for Selphie. “How do you know that? And for your information I plan to ask her at lunch when we all meet up at the seafood place down by the beach.” Sora turned the corner and walked up to the fountain. The kids were gone now so he could sit down. A female walked pass him when he was talking to Roxas looked at him like he was crazy and then walked away shaking her head. Sora didn’t notice though. “Namine` told me. And you better stop talking to me or people are gonna think you’re crazy.” “You think I care what other people think? But fine have it your way.” Sora saw Selphie coming up to him carrying tons of shopping bags that looked extremely heavy to Sora. She looked exhausted. “Wow! Hi again Selphie, looks like you went all out.” “Hah hah… ugh!” She collapsed by Sora. “I am soooooo tired. All these sales I had to go to… I was running… hah back and forth!” Selphie was catching her breath while trying to talk. “So what did you get Kairi?” Sora took out the necklace from his pocket and showed it to Selphie. “Oh wow! That’s so… pretty.” Selphie tore her gaze from the star pendant and looked at Sora. “Where did you get this?” “Your sister’s shop. You never told me you had a sister.” “Oh yeah sorry I would have but do you think I would have gotten all these clothes and accessories if I sat there chatting? Nope hehe.” Selphie smiled. “Anyways I gotta get home now. See ya at lunch Sora.” Selphie got up and heaved her way through crowd. “I don’t know how she can carry all those bags.” Sora watched her practically drag the bags behind her. He hoped she wouldn’t pass out from extreme tiredness. “You fought thousands of heartless and you think a couple bags are hard. Sometimes I find it hard to believe it was you who saved our universe.” “HEY! You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me and Riku.” All the people around the key blade master stopped to look at this ‘crazy’ child who talked to himself. “Sora stop yelling your making people suspicious. Lets go down to the beach there aren’t much people there.” Sora got up and walked down the long road leading to the beach. When he got there Roxas was right, there weren’t more than two people. He gazed across the ocean to the islands where he Riku and Kairi always hung out. Sora and Roxas heard footsteps behind them and when they turned around to see who it was it was none other than Riku him self. “Hey Riku.” Sora was glad to finally have some decent company. Not someone who lived inside his mind or some peppy girl who acted hyper all the time. “Hey. Did you finally come to help me with the party decorations?” Sora looked at what Riku had in his hands; party supplies and tools. “Uh isn’t that for the ladies to do?” “I’m only doing it because my parents participated us in helping out. So I kind of have to do it.” “Oh man I feel sorry for you.” Sora laughed at how bad he felt for Riku. “Yeah last thing I wanted was to get stuck with this job. I’d rather be sitting on the islands enjoying the weather.” Riku set the boxes down and joined Sora relaxing on the sand. “So you ask her yet?” “Um at lunch. I don’t really know what to say, what if she’s already accepted some other guys invitation.” “Trust me there’s no one else she’d rather go with.” “Thanks Riku. What about you? Have you asked anyone?” Sora laughed some more when he saw Riku blush, answering his question. “Who is it?” “You’re just going to have to find out.” Riku got back up and picked up his box. “See you tonight.” “Aww come on. Wait your not coming to lunch with us?” Sora watched as Riku walked up the shoreline and on to sandy sidewalk. Riku nudged his head towards the tools and decorations that needed to be put up. “Right. Well okay see you then.” Riku walked down the sidewalk to the other end of the beach where tonight’s party was being held. Sora looked back to the islands and wondered what Kairi was up to. ~Kairi~ Kairi had been walking around town, bag hanging over her right shoulder ready to go on a shopping spree like Selphie had. The Town Square was just as crowded when Sora was here. “Okay looking for sales. See any?” “Only the ones that you do.” Namine` sounded excited to help Kairi pick out an outfit, even though she had only been taken shopping a couple of times she loved looking at all the franchise. “Oooooo look at that store. They have some pretty cool looking stuff.” Kairi pointed to the store made of white stone and had tropic looking plants growing from vases by the display window. “I know where you’re looking at Kairi no need to point.” “Right, hehe. Lets go in!” Kairi skipped over to the entrance and looked around. It looked like it had just opened since there were only a couple of people. “Oh good it’s not crowded. Oooo look at this dress!” Kairi walked over to a cream-colored baby doll dress that would look great on her. “Lets try it on Namine`!” In the changing room Kairi looked at herself in the mirror. She looked stunning with the dress on, her long crimson hair and the dresses color matched perfectly together. “I think this is the one.” Kairi examined herself once more moving her hands along her bodies’ curves. “Me too I really like this Kairi. I can’t wait for Roxas to see me in it… and I know Sora’s going to be breathless when he sees you.” “Thanks. Okay ready? All we need now is some accessories and a new pair of shoes and we should be done.” Kairi started taking off the dress and grabbed her other clothes. She slid her T-shirt on and then put her shorts back on. She left the changing room and went up to the cashier to pay for the dress. “Have a good day ma’am.” Kairi smiled as a reply to the cashier and left the store to find a shoe shop, then on to accessories. Tonight is going to be a good night. __ The next chapter should be up soon :)
Thanks. Could anyone point the mistakes out? it would be helpful so i could fix them and make sure i don't do it again. :D
Thanks :) i'm working on it. I am aiming for 10/4 but I will probably be done by then. it's not that hard for me to finish chapters. And I have an idea of what will happen in the story, but i guess i will just have to find where it leads me.
Wow so sorry everybody, im done with the 3rd chapter im just looking over it right now. I've been so busy with school and i have this huge project thats supposed to get done so i forgot about the fan fic. Should be up in couple of hours.
Great job! I like it's so good but dang you last posted in October of last year whoa you need to finish what you started. Such a romantic story I can acctually picture it. Keep it Up. Oh, by the way I saw some errors, but can't remember where except 1. It's kind of small typo. It's where Kairi asks Namine what she should wear? "What so you think I should wear...". Just a small one I don't think it's a big deal I'll let you know for any others. L8TZ All I'm thinking is whoa are you ganna cut it to keep the romance or are you ganna throw in a twist so that the love Sora and Kairi share becomes a strain in their relationship. Ugh! I can't wait for chapter 3.
