Some Choices...

Well I'm not sure if this is my official good-bye thread. I think I have a lot of thinking to do for the next week, but I did want to mention that I was leaving for a week - and why I was doing so. As time moves on; each and everyone of us also move in different directions. I've seen a lot of people come and go on the forums. I for one have been battling with myself on how I'm not doing well at KHV or at least that's how I feel.

To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. I know that I enjoy what I do. Reporting and keeping in contact with many of you is a GREAT thing. The truth is that I really don't know many of you though. I mean I'm really close with Llave, Dr Wigglz, NemisisPrime, Maggy, Amaury, Exscar, Tummer, strfruit, Ace and most of the staff members. That's to name a few. As for others, I feel I should know many more members from the website and I somewhat don't. In my questions thread a lot of members asked me for impressions and I wasn't even sure what to say. I felt awful and that's what began this whole roller coaster ride for me.

For the past two weeks, I've been on vacation and I haven't returned back to New York just yet, but I feel I've been also lacking on the news and even the fandubs. At any rate, I know I've also drilled my Roxas and Ven voice into the community that now I feel I've annoyed so many members and visitors with its content. In spam zone, I'm just being goofy and silly, but I find that I talk about myself A LOT. I don't even purposely do it. I'm sure it's really annoying to many of you.

At the end of the day, I feel like I'm not doing something right. I don't know what, but I feel something is just not there. According to the staff it's not true. Anyway I will always love KH-Vids and that's why I need a week or so to figure things out, but hopefully someone can provide me with something I don't know? Maybe a solution?

As pathetic as it sounds, I feel like I fell too far down. Do you know the song "Down" by Jason Walker? It's a song that I relate to. It doesn't just apply to KHV, but man it's hard. You know life. Fighting for yourself, or trying to reach your dreams and goals or to even figure out who you are as a person. I think that's really hard for me, but I know many of you can relate. Sometimes it was just easy to voice act as Roxas. It's sad when you start relating to a video game character.

Edit: I've been reading a lot of what everyone has said in here and it means a lot, but there's more to it. We've known that the team has been looking for members to become a part of the team. I truly think that's great. I agree that KH-Vids could use more staff member and help from the community. We did get some applications from members and Krowley was one of them who submitted. I already knew we were going to chose him, because he's always informed us on some of the articles. Now that he's a staff member, I kind of felt my time was done from KH-Vids. I enjoy KHV in SO many way, but I'm just worried that I'll be in the way of Krowley and the rest of the staff. I guess when you think about it, it sounds lame. I should have more confidence as the staff members and I should be a role model, but I guess I'm not in that way. I'm very emotional and sensitive and that is a bad quality. I know I could deliver good material and some special projects in the future, but will it be worth it?

In the past couple of months, the mods and admins have received more questions and updates through PM's from members than I would ever see. It shows me that I'm lacking in the way I'm reporting, no? There's the full story now...

 

Honestly, Mike, you deserve a break, especially considering you do a lot for us.

Take care, and I hope to see you back in a week. You're also always more than welcome to add me on MSN. :smile:

 

Video game characters have emotions and many are designed so that people CAN relate to them. It's really not sad at all.

Mike, you're doing a brilliant job at dubs and reporting news. Sure, lately you probably haven't reported as much as you could've, but the thing is, whenever you DO report stuff and do fandubs, they're always presented in such a way that it's not just like someone stating that they found some news, you put across this impression that you're ENJOYING telling us, you seem so friendly in the posts that you make! Mike, honestly, you're one of the friendliest, most awesome people i've ever met! You just gotta have faith in yourself!

All that aside, i hope your week goes swell. Hope to hear that you'll be staying honestly.

 

Everyone needs time to themselves at one point or another. You have given so much that you are to be honest, tapped out and running on empty.

I've had to do some thinking of my own for the past week but I can understand where your coming from. I wouldn't stay away forever but for now you need to start your own personal journey as I think it stems from finding yourself. You've spilled a lot of thoughts to me over Skype and I think we've hit the climax of the problem.

I don't know how I can help but should you need anything, anything at all do not hesitate to hook up with me over Skype. I'd like nothing better.

Maybe once you feel whole and complete you can come back to us with a new attitude and even more ambitious goals.

We'd welcome you back with open arms.

EDIT: Mike...You've done an awesome job around here reporting the latest news, podcasts, dubs, etc. You've gone above and beyond the call of duty and rallied the community together not to mention inspired people like me to peruse voice acting maybe not as a full time job but as a fun hobby!

You feel like your not doing your job here? Absurd. Couldn't be further from the truth, you've just hit a point where it needs to be put on the back burner for awhile.

You don't have to leave because of new staff but if that's how you feel then do what your heart thinks is right but being sensitive isn't a bad thing.

Again I state this stems from finding yourself and if you should ever desire a companion or anything I'll be here for you man.

Bros gotta stick together you know?

 

It seems like you do just need a small break from this place. You're at that time in your life that everyone goes through. You want to know where you're going in life, but that answer isn't going to come easy. You're a hard worker.

You've always been a good friend. I'm hoping everything will work out soon.

 

I haven't really gotten to know you but I can tell you're a great guy and it's a pleasure to have you on this website. Take all the time you need to think. We will be sad to see you go, but it is your choice. I wish you the best of luck.

 

I haven't gotten to know you too well either - and i wish I had because you're such an awesome guy. I really look up to you, in a way. I enjoy your reports, voice acting, posts and listening to you in the podcast. You've done so much for KHV it's so inspiring and the thanks are absolutely endless.

So, I really hope that everything sorts out for you and you have a fantastic time away from KHV because you deserve it. You'll certainly be missed and I really hope we hear back from you.

 

KHV will always be there to welcome you home. /lolololol I'm so lame. Forgive, I just finished watching Harry Potter. ;_;

Anyway, I hope you sort everything out. We all have these doubts, time to time so I hope you pull through and actually decide what's best for you. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully we'll see you return.
​

 

I honestly enjoy everything you do fan dubs, promos, skits, news, interviews, podcasts, etc. so don't be so down on yourself about that part.

I actually listened to that song you mentioned and if it really does relate to you, it seems like you're pretty lost on what you want to do and you're not sure about the things you're doing now. You also seem to be on the verge of leaving kh-vids. If KHV is part of the problem, then just quit it. Easier said than done I know, the people here are amazing, but we all leave eventually and you seem to understand that very well. Don't think this is a wrong choice, that you would be letting people down or something. Who knows it might be what you need to be more sure about yourself, to get off the ground and shoot to the sky. You've made a very lasting impression on these forums, I don't think anyone will forget you.

I'm just taking the other side of the situation since everyone seems to want you to return. Believe me I do too, you've influenced my voice acting a lot. Just make sure whatever you decide make sure it's something you decide for yourself. Also this might be a bit of random knowledge but it takes about three weeks to make or break a habit according to my school counselor.

 

D'aw Mike, I've always liked how you're really friendly around the forum, and post very helpful news and updates. You shouldn't feel like you've annoyed anybody or that you don't know what you're doing here. Everybody has their ups and downs, but don't doubt that you have friends here on khv. I'd be sad to see you go, but I'd understand it if you need a break, just don't leave forever (:

 

I've been reading a lot of what everyone has said in here and it means a lot, but there's more to it. We've known that the team has been looking for members to become a part of the team. I truly think that's great. I agree that KH-Vids could use more staff member and help from the community. We did get some applications from members and Krowley was one of them who submitted. I already knew we were going to chose him, because he's always informed us on some of the articles. Now that he's a staff member, I kind of felt my time was done from KH-Vids. I enjoy KHV in SO many way, but I'm just worried that I'll be in the way of Krowley and the rest of the staff. I guess when you think about it, it sounds lame. I should have more confidence as the staff members and I should be a role model, but I guess I'm not in that way. I'm very emotional and sensitive and that is a bad quality. I know I could deliver good material and some special projects in the future, but will it be worth it?

In the past couple of months, the mods and admins have received more questions and updates through PM's from members than I would ever see. It shows me that I'm lacking in the way I'm reporting, no? There's the full story now...

 

I give you two weeks, two weeks and you'll be back annoying us with your voices again.

 

(I'm replying to each paragraph.)

Even when each and everyone of us will eventually go to different ways, we will still be friends; and you will never be alone in this huge and scary world. Don't feel like you're not doing a good job, because you're always doing a great and amazing work here on KH-Vids. Nobody's waiting a super amazing work, and even so you do all this excellent work. You are being a good Staff Member, Reporter.

You're enjoying what you're doing here, right? Yes, you're a close friend to me; and if you don't think you know me well, you're wrong. Most times I speak to you I was afraid to speak English wrong so I think I may be the one who don't know you well, but the far I've seen, you know me very well. Maybe you're just not very good at say first and current impressions, but remember most of good things of the world you can't explain. Feelings are there for you to feel, not to explain. There aren't explanations to feelings, to friendship. They simply exist, and most of times there aren't words to describe how amazing they are, somethings are too inside of us that we can't "read" or "say", we can only "feel" and "share" this feeling.

You have a talent. Something you can't waste. And isn't bad that you talk a lot about yourself. This is a way to struggle with yourself, you're trying to know you better? You're trying to know what to do, where to go? If that's the case, you just want to know the truth. Speaking of yourself is a way to find the truth, and the truth can only be reach looking to yourself "yourself".

The human being is not complete. It will never be complete, there will always be this huge and empty hole called needs. But we can fill this hole with anything we want. You just need to figure out what you want to fill your hole to become more complete. Nobody will ever be complete, but it will become less incomplete...
You can always talk to me through MSN, Skype, Facebook (I'm about to create another one. I'll add you once I create it). Maybe I can help you look inside?

This isn't pathetic, feelings are not pathetic. They are serious. They aren't toys or anything to have fun with or something that someone can laugh of. I downloaded this song and already listened to it. You feel lost... and it is hard to deal, it's hard to deal with the everyday struggles. Fighting for yourself, fighting with yourself, searching for the truth, look around, find somewhere where you belong... many many things we have to deal everyday. Roxas is an example. "Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know", "NO! I am me, nobody else!"... Roxas wanted to know the true, to find out who he is. He may be a video game character. So? He still has feelings and this means he can be related with us.

You're still part of the Staff, and working with more people will just make KH-Vids have a great Team! Being sensitive and emotional isn't a bad quality, it means you just care about how you and others feel. Is a really good thing, actually. There aren't many persons who care about feelings in the world... Self-confidence? I never had it either. But I've found what I want, that's all I need...
You're a good person, Mike. You're fighting and trying to find out many things, just like everyone will do / already did / is doing. Like I said, we're not complete, we need more things to become "whole", and even so we will never become "whole", just more complete and thus, happiness.

You can't just give up, right? Nobody's judging your work. We are really grateful for everything you have done for us. You're special for the community. You're special for us. What would KH-Vids be without Mike? You're part of the community and Staff of this community, you're doing your best and this is more than enough for us.

I am not the best person in the world to get good answer. And I'm sorry for that. A break is a good thing for everyone once in a while, be sure to relax and don't rush to find what you're looking for, but some answer are just inside of you and no one can help, we can just try to guide you there. And we already did. Take a look in all those amazing moments and times we, KH-Vids, had fun with you, all the PMs, VMs, MSN conversations, Skype conversation, Facebook conversations, Thread conversations... and all the replies of this thread.

The best of luck for you Mike. Don't forget you're not alone, ok? We love you unreservedly. :3

 

You do what you need to Mike, don't let anything stop you from getting better and feeling a lot better in general.

I hope you return soon, but take the time you need!

 

aw Mike :c i hope you are able to think everything out and make sense of things. just understand that you have plenty of friends here and i'm sure everyone sees you as a good guy with good intentions. some people can just be sour sometimes, but that's life, ya know? so take the time you need to sort things out, no rush at all. i hope you return to us! getting some breathing room is the best thing you can do right now. i have high hopes of seeing you around soon n _ n

 

​Taking a break is probably the smart thing to do. I hope you come back to us. Take care.~

 

I think I made a mistake making this thread. Leaving KH-Vids for even a day bothers me and I know that's not what I want. I regret making this thread because I feel I wasted everyone's time. At the end of the day though, I should do what I like and not over think things. That's my problem. I want to thank everyone for all the replies. It really does mean a lot. I apologize about the randomness.

Looks like it was less than two weeks. I look forward to the future videos that will include my voice and other members from KH-Vids. I hope it doesn't annoy anyone, because that's not the intention.

 

I'm glad you decided to stay with us.

Welcome back, Mike.