Should I Just Keep Distracting Myself? [Nothings Working]

Well some people [not many] know that in June my parents split up... well actually my mum left my dad for some unknown reason. They told me in January that they were gonna split up after my cousins visit [in May] so I had to keep it a secret until they did. That was an extremely hard six months... and though my friends know, I'm still feeling depressed. I'm okay with the moving around [though I still hate leaving my old house] I'm still finding myself sitting alone, not wanting to talk to anyone

I'm finding out that sometimes if an interesting discussion comes up, and if I think about it for a while, it makes me forget about my parents. Considering that my Japan trip is in 2 months, it's been mentioned a lot and I'm looking forward to it, other things are happening to... good things. Should I keep distracting myself with these thoughts, and will it make me feel better again and be happy like I was last year?

 

I kinda know what you're going through. My parents are in the process of getting a divorce and my mom's already moved out. I visit her at least once a week to have supper with her and play a game or two. I find myself wishing things were the way they were before, but I know it'll never happen.

I don't think distracting yourself most of the time is a good thing, because then you're hiding from the reality of it. I'm not trying to sound mean, but you need to face the facts. Try to stay happy and not let it get to you. I don't think you'll be able to be as happy as you were before, but over time, you can get pretty close to it.

 

Sure, distraction is a great idea in my opinion. Be aware of your parents, but by no means dwell upon it. Move on, and enjoy yourself. There is no rule that says you are required to be miserable if your parents split, right?

 

Sadly, in the end you will have to work to coming to terms with the fact that your parents are separated and the likelihood chance of them getting back together is slim. They may try to work things out civilly, I would hope to keep some sort of friendship and trust there, but as a kid, you may not even know fully why they split up as parents often won't share such things with kids as it is very personal. They still both get to see you, I hope and you should try to spend time with both of them and know that even though they couldn't make their relationship work, they still love you. Distractions can help to some degree but it seems you are suffering because it's very hard to distract yourself after a while. Maybe talking to them both and saying you want them both to at least still always be in your life will help console you more. You are in grief over what's gone on and you see you have things to look forward to like the trip to Japan, so these things don't have to just be distractions, but also boosts to let you see things go up and down in life and you notice those good things still. The biggest thing I can suggest is to try to not 'dwell' on the situation and keep looking at the positives too, but don't entirely ignore the negative situation either so you can make peace with it. You will feel better when you come to accept your parents might not want to be together, but it doesn't spell the end for you and your closeness with them both. You, as the child of them both, can still value your time with them and have them both in your life. Not as you want it, of course, because we'd all want our parents to stay together, but you don't lose totally if you keep in contact with the parent who left. I hope you feel better about things and this year won't be too hard on you. You are though going through a tough experience and I hope that any of our thoughts on the matter assist you.

 

Distraction is a good idea, but like Repliku said, it's not something you can forget forever, you'll have to face it one day, as much as we don't want to...Take a few days to think about it and see how you feel about it, then distract yourself for a while then try thinking it over again, or just ask your family or friends about it, it might help

 

I know how you feel. For so long, I just distracted myself so I wouldn't have to face reality in my life. But eventually, it just caught up with me. My life was nothing like what it used to be. I became obsessed with my distractions and turned into a different person.

I know, you want to avoid pain and sadness. But take it from someone with experience, running away works for a little while. Then when it catches up with you it's worse than ever before. So try not to ignore the situation, but at the same time don't focus on it. Try to live your life. You'll get over it eventually.​

 

It's good to keep yourself distracted. As did my parents split up a year ago, which I'm not forgiving nor' forgetting. But, keeping youself distracted could be good. Think about the postive side until your trip arrives. But because they're split up, life goes on. You may not forget what happened but still some have to move on. Thnik positive on other stuff.

 

Keeping yourself distracted by good thoughts is good for you if you have something bad on your mind. I know what you are going through, I completely understand. Keep on doing this and you will find yourself as happy as you were in the past. :).
Hope that advice helps out.

 

well, firstly.

you have to try and adapt to this situation, so it doesnt hurt you as much.

and not ponder on it.

its a matter of accepting it, it may hurt sometimes, but its something you will have to come to terms with.

 

Hmmmm. I can understand why you might be hurt, or atleast somewhat, but that is only because you do not know why your parents split up. Could be from the silliest reasons to some of the worst.

My parents split up when I was 9, but when they did, it barely phased me. My father was an alchoholic, and when my mom wanted him to get help for it, he said "What Problem", and after that, I was easily able to accept them breaking up. Ummmm, perhaps it would help if you had some sort of an idea of why your parents broke up?


Ummmm, as for what you are doing, you should probably just get on with your life. I mean, you can't exsactly sulk on the matter all the time, now can you. You shouldn't try and distract yourself either. After all, in the end, won't you still know that you are doing it? Idk what to really say at this, but in my personal oppinion, you should find out why they split up first of all.



How well was your relationship with your mother?

 

its not healthy to bottle it in..i know exactly what youre going through well for the most part cept my scars a bit more ****ed up.....dont distract yourself its not the anwser i promise you...just find a way to relieve all the stress and sorrow building up

 

It's probably okay that you distract yourself for a little while but sooner or later, you'll have to get used to your parents splitting up.