How do you differentiate where friendship with someone ends and infatuation/love starts? Or where infatuation/love ends and lust starts? I hate to say anything reminiscent of Robin Thicke, but the lines seem kind of blurry sometimes.
I'm not sure how much help I can be, but friendship doesn't end when a relationships starts. After all, friendship stems from relationship, so it'd be perfectly normal to say something like "@Llave and I have a strong relationship." But yeah, you can still be friends even when love starts.
Speaking from personal experience, friendship doesn't end when infatuation and love becomes more apparent. At least, it shouldn't have to ideally. Cherry Berry and I are still great friends even though we are basically the biggest love derps most of the time. There really is no real set differences, because friendship, love, and lust are all on a spectrum of many mixed feelings, actions, and emotions. Its basically up to you where you want to draw the line and what you think is healthy for both you and the person you care about.
I believe that a lover has to start as a friend, and that sex has to start as love. They're all part of a spectrum for me, and missing one is missing the others. And I'd leave it at that if this had been posted in Discussion, but considering it's Help with Life, I'm curious about what makes you ask. 'Course if it's a private matter then I suppose it's none of my business :'v
I dunno, I feel different here because there can be sex just for the sake of having sex. As an example, let's take children that experiment with the same and opposite sexes because they're trying to identify their sexuality. Usually they experiment with a friend and not a total stranger, but either way, especially if it were a stranger or a person they just recently became friends with, love wouldn't be involved.
Maybe a better question to ask instead of asking where it begins and ends is whether it's something that you want to start? Just as love is complicated, it's also simple. If there were a place love starts with a friend, I think that's around the point that you start to think that that person's a good partner. I also think that that's when you're able to tell if that person is really someone that you want to be with. Infatuation, love, lust, or anything else. I think that whether you want that person as a partner decides most of that stuff.
I feel like I might not have explained myself as well as I wanted to, so I'm sorry for that. Yes, this is related to my previous threads in this section, so let's revisit one of them. Let's take, from the most recent thread, my relationship with a friend we'll call A. We're friends and we're pretty alike; we don't hang out one-on-one, but we enjoy each other's company. He also happens to be pretty hot. This isn't the only case, but my problem is that I can't tell whether I'm just really sexually attracted to my friend and subconsciously adapting my thoughts to retrofit that into romantic attraction too, or if I really am maybe falling in love. That's where the whole thing with the lines and the distinguishing/differentiating comes in.
You are probably right about it. I don't think it matters much if the romantic feelings follow from the sexual attraction or vice versa. One will often lead to the other; this is normal. You were right to call it infatuation when the sexual side is running things. When the romantic attraction will last, you will know what it is. Wait it out and see how you feel when things are more stable. Until then, be aware that your feelings are probably temporary. If you are okay with that, act in the knowledge that it will not last. No regrets for informed decisions.
Considering I am dating someone who was at one time my best friend, I don't really have room to talk here. However it is all really up to you. In the past I have dated people who I wouldn't consider to be a best friend, and I have dated people who were easily one of my best friends. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't exactly matter. You can date your friends, you can date someone who isn't a "friend", etc etc. Just remember that if things with that person don't work out, it is possible to still be friends with them. Too many people talk about how impossible that is, to me that isn't the case.
Oh... Forgot about this... My bad. Better get to it. In my experience, people have a tendency to categorize their relationships (or think of people as certain types of assets) in their lives. Many find it hard to go from a friend to a romantic interest when the friend role has been strengthened to a certain point. This is why people have trouble seeing their siblings, even adopted siblings, as romantic interests. Some people are not looking for someone to fill a romantic role. Even for those who are, most would miss the low-risk, high-reward nature of the friend role you had. Friends represent stability and support through many troubles. They relieve stress without creating it (most of the time). There is a reason we have a stigma on going back to being friends from something more intimate. Consider how much you value the things you get from the friendship. Friendship requires little of you but offers many rewards. Is it worth changing that person's role in your life? The costs of an intimate relationship are much higher on all accounts. If the instability proves too much, it is hard to become less vulnerable after opening up to someone. They will always be able to cut you deeply in a way a friend could not with the same words. You will also worry about hurting them. Worry about what they do, worry about what you do; it doesn't matter. It will always be more stressful to deal with them. Consider it from their side. They will think the same thing. What do they like about the friendship? What do they get from becoming more intimate? What do they lose? Will they think the change is beneficial? Will they think it is worth the risk? Romantic relationships are a lot more resource intensive than friendships. If love is a battle field, then being friends is a chess match. In other words, much is risked in love and war.
