Part of my new song

I'm trying to make a song heres some

first your livin
then your dieying.
first your in heaven
then your in hell
but you can't see to find the person you call my gal.
Now every step that i take
is a life long mistake.


{chorus}
I can't see the light
theres nothing in sight
the hell with it i will blow my mind
I can't see the light
it's not there anymore
so let me go i will be allright
{chorus}



thats all i have for now.

 

That's epic, with a few chords and completely different lyrics, this could be a really good song!;)

 

hmmm your getting better. So... would this be rap er... what?

 

Could be the start of something good.

 

I'm oging to post this in the spamzone and i updated it.