On-Line Dating

(Sorry if there is already a thread like this, I didn't want to get in trouble for bumping.)

Alright, who here on-line dates, or goes out with people or whatever you call it these days?

I want to know what you think of it. Because personally, and this might offend you, but I think it's pathetic. It shows a clear lack of social skills in the real world. It's an escape route offered to those that can't make it in real life. Plus, the "on-line" girlfriend is practically a figment of your imagination; you don't really know her, but your imagination creates the image you want.

I'm sorry if this offended anyone that really does have an on-line girlfriend or boyfriend, but it's really not a good or healthy thing to do so. I'd like to hear what anyone else has to say on this topic.

 

I'm in the middle with the topic of 'online dating'. I'm against it if people act like they're deeply and madly in love with someone that they've never met, but I'm for it if there's someone you meet online then end up dating in real life.

Sure, online dating gives you the security of knowing that the person likes you for your personality and not your looks, but you may find out that someone isn't the same as they are online in oppose to what they are in real life.

 

Im in the middle of the online dating issue, because I know people who havve met on line and are so perfect for each other. But then you can get hurt pretty bad with them.

But Im definatly for online friendships.

 

I agree with you both,i really can't say anything more...because you pretty much nailed everything that comes to mind when i think of on-line dating.

 

Ditto, nothing I can really add to this that hasn't been said yet.

 

It depends on the person, I have had dozens of relationships, and all end in failure, but if you meet your match online, why now go for it? I have been with Sara(head admin of this forum) for almost 2 years now, and we are VERY much in love. You can pheasibly tell me thats wrong? I would like an explanation as to why as well.

 

I see no problem in it, you meet someone you like, you get on, what more happiness do you need for a couple?

 

That's pretty much my standing point on it.

Over the course of the summer, actually, I've decided it's really stupid to online date, or end UP dating someone who was once from the online world you resided.

Yeah, and it isn't healthy. I've been doing a lot more things socially, and trying to read, and pretty much learn more about the world around me.

Online dating is stupid. It makes you look like a lifeless fool. Shouldn't be done.

That's just me, though.

However, I don't shun those who believe it to be true to them. It's exceptions like Arc/Sara that really show how well it can work if you're maturely ready for it.

 

There's a pro and con to it.

Con - You don't know who your talking to, for obvious reasons, it just isn't right.

Pro - Instead of looking at the person, saying how pretty, etc. you can see his/her personality.

 

There is a certain interest to online dating, that being the fact that you know its for personality over looks, however I am against it

Talking is wonderful, you can talk and talk and talk for hours, but sometimes its nice to SHOW you love someone, through actions, and not words, the feeling of kissing a loved one, for instance, is something that should be experianced by all, or just holding them close, sharing a moment when you can whisper how you love each other in one anothers ears. also, how is one meant to look out for an online partner, theres nothing you can do if something bad happens to them in real life, and personally, I like to look out for my girlfriend, and I would feel completely useless if I couldn't stop something bad from happening, that I could have if I was there. when something goes wrong you can comfort them with your words online, but thats just text, cold, lifeless, text. sometimes the best comfort is just to hold them in your arms and let them know you're there for them.

on top of such, I'd want a little more...no...a lot more from my relationship than logging on to a computer and talking to the person for a few hours a day on a forum or instant messenger.

If you meet someone online, then start dating in real life, I think that is AWSOME, cause that takes the best of both worlds, however if not... I guess its a nice thought, it just seems rather pointless...no offence of course to Arc or sara, I believe you are in love, it just seems kind of pointless to me... but then, thats my oppinion, I wish you both the best regardless

 

Thank you Darkwatch.

I agree with you that it is all very stupid. What are the chances of you meeting the person in real life? Now... 2 years, that's a bit different. And I hear you're both adults. But for just some 15 year kid to do it, well that's not right. That person needs to get out and date in reality. On-line dating seems like a pathetic way to jump out of real life because you're too scared to get a real date.

And I don't know how you could think of two people as "perfect" over the internet when you don't really know them both, nor do they know each other. You think you know someone, but you don't really know them, and don't try and argue with me on that point.

 

May I just ask you a question Bou? It sounds as though you have had some form of bad experience with online dating that has made you feel so bitter about it. If you have, then is it possible it is making you think this way? If not then I appologise for assuming.





IMO I think that online relationships are the same as RL relationships, there are positives and negatives to both. I had an online relationsip which ended in conflict and is even now causing some small problems, but if two people are mature enough about it then good luck to them. By the way, just because someone is 15 or so doesn't make them less capable of having a relationship, some of the younger members here are more mature than some of the older ones.

I think it is not something that can be put into as neat a box as Yes or No, it depends on each individual case. Some work, some don't, but that is life. At the end of the day, as long as the people involved are happy, then that is what's important.

True I see the negative side of not having that physical contact, but if a couple can work around that, then they have my respect.​

 

No, I have never on-line dated. I have always thought it's a silly thing to do; an escape route from real life, and I've never wanted to do it. It's not that I'm trying to offend anyone, like I said before, but it just seems so silly and ridiculous. Although discussing it on an on-line forum probably isn't the best place.

Although I did have a friend who on-line dated and he began to cut himself after his "girlfriend" broke up with him and even though I feel bad for him at the time I thought it was his fault for putting trust in someone he didn't even know, someone that was just a part of his imagination. Now a lot of time has passed since then and he's forgotten about it but I haven't.

 

I can see your point that it can be used as an escapism tactic, what I disagree with about online dating is when people use it as a substitue because they are too scared of RL relationships, thats when I think it is wrong.

I am sorry that that happened to your friend and I am glad he is alright now, it is always hard to fotget when those we care about get hurt, so it is natural that you keep that memory. However I must emphasise that not all online relationships turn out that way, some of them DO work and some of them are successful.

Though I do not think I would have a serious relationship online (never say never =P) I disagree with this idea of "imagined people" I am closer to some of my online friends than I am my RL ones, (call me sad if you wish but its truth).


One last point, many people use this "someone you don't really know" point as a mark against online relationships, but think about it, say you met someone in RL who seemed to be amazing, or you really liked them, well what's to say you ever know them? I speak from experience that sometimes the people we have in RL relationships are not all they seem to be either.​

 

But you don't know them like you would know a person you'd go out with in real life. For all you know, this person is 20 years older than you! They might already have your address and phone number and be coming to kill you this second. You don't really know if they're the next V. Tech killer or the next Columbine kid, because you don't actually, physically know them like a friend you've had since Kindergarten. Also, on-line, you can say "I love you I love you I love you" but they're just words coming from an empty box sitting in front of you.

 

CTR is right everyone is different, so you can't say that every relationship would all be the same for each couple, everyone has different personalities, experiences and thoughts, you can't put everyone as 'statistics', people are people after all.

A good thing about an online relationship is that your not judged quickly, if you guys saw my apperance or knew you wouldn't think I had a brain on these shoulders. You also have more time to think about waht to say to someone, I sometimes shot my mouth off without thinking, in life and sometimes here.

You can't make an acurate opinion on online-dating until you try it.

 

See, you're admitting that you use on-line dating as an escape from the troubles of real dating. Whether it's because you can't get a date or you're too afraid, or both, I don't really care, but what you just said proves my earlier point.

And I never said that everyone who on-line dates is going to fail. I guess Arc and Sara are an example if they're still together after 2 years,.

 

I love the way you post, only because it makes you sound so dumb.

You don't know how it's like, being in a online relationship, and frankly, it's that different than an RL relationship. Especially, when you actually get to know that person in RL AND Online. I had that chance before, but it wasn't because it didn't work, something just happened. You talk like, online relationships can't grow, and that it's only fake. Well i'll tell you this babe, I couldn't have been happier with the girl I had. So you could just go hide in a hole for all I care. ****........Regardless, it does depend on the people willing to make it work, and it also depends on trust. Physically, my ***, it can't take away what I had felt, even though I had a chance to meet her. People be talking to me about this, as if my feelings are worth nothing, these are TRUE feelings for someone, and it doesn't matter if they are in Tokyo, or in friggin Alaska. If the one I did care about was a guy the hell, I guess i'm gay now. Or if the person I liked was you, then okay, I guess all these feelings are going towards you goddammit. But, the girl I spent time with, was all I cared about, and I was one of the few lucky ones to actually meet her, and be with her online. Until, she passed away, it broke my heart, especially when they tried to tell me she was some girl off the internet. I friggin punched my friend in the nose for that, I knew her, and my feelings were real. We wanted to go the distance, and we made it.....Stop saying people use it as an escape, because, it is oh so real.....

P.S. I don't give a damn if you are a girl or not............

 

First off, I'm a guy.

Second, I didn't even read your post. I don't take the time to read posts written out of anger and hate, especially with **** and **** and ***** or whatever swear words you use littered throughout it. I didn't come in here looking for an argument, so stop trying to bring one on and try and make yourself look more intelligent.

Third, I went back and read your post, and you clearly had an awful experience brought on by, guess what, on-line dating? It must have been tough when she passed away but imagine how that would feel if you spoke with her and held her every day...

 

On-line dating is good and bad

Good - You can be dating somone on the other side of the world and you know you can one day meet up (if you want to) and you know that there is someone out there for you.

Bad - You don't really know that person, now the only way this would not happen is if you know them off-line but they had to move so your using the ineternet to stay with them.