I was hesitant to post this because I'm one of those people who try to work things out themselves until they can't take it anymore. And this is the one where I can't take it anymore... This is all my feelings that I bottled up for so long, so please try to understand me. Sorry for the long rant of emotions.... This happened about two months ago, three days after my birthday. Okay, so it all started out when I was doing my homeschool in my dad's office AKA our old house. He always keeps the door wide open to his room where he works so it's only natural I listen to his telephone conversations sometimes. And then I caught on to one bit of the conversation that made me very scared. He said to a certain somebody, "Sorry I can't come to the meeting, there's been a death in the family." Some things I need to explain before I go on. I love one of my cousins a ton. His name is Corey and he has a ton of health problems but I love him like my brother. He was confined in a wheel chair but he was still pretty independent. He use to give me big crushing bear hugs when I was little and then we would talk to each other at family reunions and such. The only way I could talk to him was through instant messaging because we lived miles apart and we both were shy to talk on the phone. He was like waaaaaay older then me, but we would talk about Naruto and Bleach all the time and how were were doing, stuff like that... Anyways, I got really scared when I heard that little bit of the conversation. I was so hoping it wasn't Corey and I thought about how he didn't logged on MSN messaging for a few days. I was wondering if my parents were going to tell me anything about the death, but they didn't. It was like they were trying to protect me. And so I started putting clues together. When we had prayer as a family, it was my mom's turn and my dad asked her to bless Boyd's family (Corey's dad). She didn't say anything about it at all, so I was left to wonder who it was. So on Sunday, when we were ready to go to church, it was my dad's turn to pray. I was content and happy because I had no idea what was going on. My dad started praying and I can't remember what he said exactly, but he said something about Corey being in a better place and he wouldn't be in pain anymore. That shattered my heart and I was mortified. My dad told me that my mom wanted to keep it a secret from me, and my mother was upset of how my dad approached it to tell me. Most of all, I was very angry that they didn't tell me ahead of time and so sadness and hurt mixed in with my mourning over Corey. I didn't go to church that day, and I locked myself in my room and cried all day. Here I am, many weeks later after this, and I still feel sad and hurt. Every time I see Corey's name on IM I would start crying and crying hard. Since my parents are very worried about me, I learned to mask my emotions for their sake... I want to be happy and I already know he's happy where he's at now, but it's just so hard to get over it. I am a very sensitive person. Do you guys have any advice for me of how to recover? Am I suppose to feel this way after so long?....
I'm very sorry for your loss. It's very painful losing a loved one. It takes a while. Don't try to push things. Some people take a bit longer to recover than others, it depends on the person and that is completely normal. Sadly I don't have any advice, except for living the way Corey would have wanted you to.
Oh sweetheart, I am very sorry for your loss. There is no set time for grieving, it is an individual thing and the right time for you to feel better will be different than it would for someone else. It will take time and part of you will always hurt when you remember your cousin, but with time it does get easier. Don't remember him with bitterness at your parents and sadness at his passing. Instead remember with happiness the fun times, all the times you laughed and every conversation that made you smile. Masking your emotions and bottling everything isn't the best thing to do though hun, you need to face it. It might upset your parents if you are upset, but it is better that you talk to them and talk through how you feel with them rather than cut them off. You said yourself you know he is in a happier place now. You just need to hold on to that thought. Your cousin wouldn't want you to waste away in sadness and hurt, he would want you to live and be happy. Feel better soon sweetheart <3 drop me a PM if you need to chat.
Well.......it hurts a lot.....you just cry for a while. Then, after a little while of that, you start to feel too tired to cry anymore, that's when you have to fight. You have to think of all the good times you had, even cry if you can because when that feeling sets in it can stay and turn into depression and anger and then.... Soon, if you slipped past the cold, numb feeling you can do your normal things. You will find that somethings still make you cry(most things) but there will be a couple things, just a few, that will make you laugh when you think of him. Then as time passes, you will find that slowly the good things outweigh the bad ones and from there you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. (This is just how it happened for me so I guess everyone is different. Except I just went straight into the numb part. I never cry. ) As far as masking your feelings I understand that too. Parents mean well but they tend to, when a death occurs, turn to the younger people, as the symbolize life and happiness, only we have to grieve too. I would say mask your feelings when that can see you then go away from them for a while and just let them out. Or keep them bottled up completely though the latter takes more skill and self-control. Good luck to you my friend.
omg, Im so sorry to hear of your loss ): Well, I know there must be no words to describe how you feel, and you can grieve for as long as you feel nesscessary, it depends on what type of person you are, and nobody will think any less of you for being upset. As CtR said, try and remember him in the good times, not when everything wasn't so happy, and remember- he would have wanted you to remember him like that. *Huggles you* If you wanna talk, dont be hesitant. I know, its horrible to loose someone close..
I'm sorry; nobody should have to go through pain like that. I've never had someone so close to me die, but I think I can kind of understand what you're saying. I don't think you can force yourself to get over it. I think it just happens eventually...you know? Like, you have to try and move on because life keeps going whether you want it to or not. That's what I've learned at least. If you ever want to talk, you can PM me. I'll try to be of comfort, but more than that, I'll listen (erm...read *cough*)
miss...i'm sorry for the tragic loss of corey... it was very good of you to share this sadness out to the world... your parents did this to prevent you from the sadness you feel now... but... you have to let your past go and just hold on to your memories with corey... remember him as the great man he was and continue with your life as he watches you from heaven...
Sorry. My best friend just died from a brain tumor. The good thing is that they are in a better place and will always be in your memories. That may sound really cheesy, but it's true. You will see you hero again someday, but until then, just live out your life to the fullest.
