...weakness. Seriously. All my friends on this forum have their own problems and issues to deal with and when I look at them, I feel extremely helpless. I want to help them out as best as I can, but being the anti-social person I am in real life, I don't have much life experience in those types of situations. There are times I desperately want to help them out, say the right thing that can resolve the situation, but I'm usually not there for them when they need advice the most. I know I shouldn't worry about other people's problems when I have my own to deal with, but I guess there's always a part of me that actually wants to be there as "a shoulder to cry on". A...well, to put it in simplified terms...a "hero." I'm also worried that if I'm not there for my friends, our relationships will begin to drift apart. I've already noticed it happening with a few of my closest friends here. I'm not there for them because I'm busy with my own life and I feel our bonds starting to weaken. I guess my main concern is being forgotten, discarded and becoming just a fading memory...
Dee.... I know that for a while there I was a little distant and kept to myself. I was going through a hard time, and like I said to you before, I needed some space and to be independent. You shouldn't feel bad about that. You're making me feel the same way for you; I'm not exactly sure what I need to do to cheer you up. Do you remember that time earlier this summer when my mom and sister were being humoungous jerks to me and I had to talk to you about it at 2 in the morning after secretly stealing my nieces laptop? You were the "hero" then, and you helped me out in a big way. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're a lot better than you think you are. So, basically what I'm trying to say is don't be so hard on yourself, cheer up, and stop being pessimistic. Remember what I just told you: pessimism doesn't help anything. ;D
Well, the truth is, although you're a main part of my concern, there's a few others here that I've been talking to that are included as well. I appreciate it though, Princess. :glomp:
DF... you say your not helpful... but you are Well I'm one of those people who have problems, heck it's been 10 months and the problem hasn't resolved... but your one of the only reasons i come on this site. Your just so funny in everything you do. Story's or just talking, you always cheer me up. Your so creative too, always an entertainer. You don't have to be a hero really, superhero's never get the girl in the end. What you need is the two most over used words in history "Be Yourself" Coz you being yourself is one of the best things right now to me...
Well let me start off by saying you'll never be forgotten. You're the kind of person that's really hard to forget. Most of the time, just talking to you about random unrelated stuff helps me forget about the problems that bug me. So you're actually being a big help just by listening and responding and making me laugh. Don't be so hard on yourself :glomp: You're awesome just for being you.
Something about KH-Vids I've noticed is that its like one big strange but happy family and I've heard family means no one gets left behind or forgotten ;)
Take it from me, being a "Hero" buddy, its overrated...I tend to be that "Shoulder" you mention with my "friends" you know what it brings to me? The only time they really reach out and make an effort to talk/be around me, is when they need advice, or to vent to me, and the minute I try to do the same, I find myself alone(regarding "RL" friends). I know what its like to help, and can understand where you come from, I am the same way...I would take the shirt off my back and give it to a friend if they needed it. Without a second thought.....but, one thing I have learned. You cant beat yourself up over what you can't help. Just do your best man. That's all a TRUE friend would expect. Don't try to be a "Hero" because, a hero is just an over glorified martyr. And no one needs that. A hero is someone the people welcome when its convenient, and then discard. You are a friend of mine(in my eyes at least) And I wouldn't want to see that happen to you. Friends are not what the weakness is, as harsh as it may sound, its what was needed to be said to me at one point. The weakness is your inability to let go and not "fix" everything.... I, as well as countless people are here for you, so your not going to be forgotten. Ever.
Let me start off by saying that you will NEVER be forgotten. I know, I know, it’s what everyone says, and this is just a forum and the damn internet where no “real” connections are ever made...well, despite that fact, I’ll still tell you that you are an EPIC member and not to mention a member that is highly respected and loved— Yes, LOVED. Believe me when I say that because I see the people that are around you and how much they adore you, and heck yes, even I am among them...though I may not always talk to you or express it as often, but dammit I respect you and consider you a close, and awesome friend of mine! I’d smack myself silly if I ever forget you! You are too pwnsome for that! How can I ever forget you, or your awesome stories and fanfics, your infamous obsession with tickling, or of course...my sexy Evil DF? You’ve no idea what you mean to many of the people here and those you know best. So what if it’s the internet? People whom I respect and consider my friends, whether virtual or real, they ARE my friends, and I never forget them. Friends will of course and always have some type of problems, and let it be from something minor to anything major, not everything can be solved or confronted by a friend, and you must not beat yourself over that. I know that you have always been there for your friends [though you right now think you’ve not], but it’s not a false fact. You have always been there for them, for good or bad...or even when you weren’t really there to support or give a word of advice, I’ll still say that you were there for them. If you felt anything for them when you saw that your friend was hurt, then you were there; because such situations do exist where you’d have nothing to say to them at that moment to make them feel any better. You don’t need to give “advice” to feel that you are there to help when that is just acting more as a personal therapist than a friend. The fact that you were there for your friends when they were down, and maybe just listened to their rants or talked about something random to make them feel better is enough, and even I wouldn’t ask for anything more if someone did just that when I was down. It’s kind of stupid for a friend to break ties because you’ve not given them any particular advice. You can’t always act as a therapist to your friends. Everyone feels that they had some magical words of advice that he could give to their friends and make everything all rainbows and butterflies again, but it’s not always possible. You worry that you want to be the “shoulder they cry on”, and be the “hero” but can’t...well let me clarify that that is not true at all. Tell me how many times were you not there to listen to your friends rant and bitch about what was happening? How many times were you not there to say something witty or funny just to cheer them up? Those little things are equivalent to giving someone the so called magical advice. I say it again, that even when you do not give “advice”, being there when they vent their emotions is a big help, and if that’s what you are best at doing then I don’t think a friend would ask for anything more. Sure it doesn’t solve the problem itself, but you were there for your friends when they needed you most and that’s what counts. I mean even I fail at giving advice, and I’m probably phailing even more as I try to make you realize that you are a “hero” and are in fact “the supporting shoulder” to your buddies. Seriously though...you shouldn’t feel bad that you can’t help a friend by not giving them advice when your presence there is just as significant.
DF, You are a cool person to me and you would not be just forgotten. However, trying to 'be there' because you feel that you should be depended on to be remembered etc...that's not the way to be. Just be a friend and have some fun with others and relax. There's no need to be a hero. A hero isn't always needed. A friend to enjoy time with, relax and chat with is. Sometimes the closest of friends do drift apart due to life and all, but it doesn't mean you are forgotten. Sometimes people have to move on, but if they come back, they do and there they are again. Also, new friends can be made. I do consider you a friend here and hope you come to realize that 'hero' is a state of being that lasts moments. It's nothing permanent. It won't keep you having friends. Some people may even take advantage of that. Just try being yourself and don't worry about such things. The truest friends will know that you are there if they need you and know they would be there for you should you need them. Let life roll.
Glad to help, but now you are a main part of my concern. Like everyone else said, there's no reason to be the "hero". Not everyone can be there at the right moments when someone is in need, and that's okay. Even when you are being yourself and you don't even realize it, you're helping me or someone else out. All those tickle glomps and plain ol' glomps cheered me up when I was down. Considering this is a Kingdom Hearts site, I'm going to do a little comparison. =) When you say "hero", you make me think of Clark Kent or Peter Parker. But when I really think of you, I think of Sora. You're my best friend, so I'll consider myself Kairi in this situation. Even when I needed help, you were there for me and you always made me laugh. You cheer people up, Dee. There's no reason to think you'll be forgotten, because everyone will remember the random tickle tortures from Evil DF and the tickle glomps from you. And the lovely conversations they've had with you. Just be happy, not sad. Be cheery, not mad. ;D
Being forgotten is not as easy as it seems. Every little tihng you say, no matter how insignificant it sounds as first, can put a smile on a friend's face. And when people feel bad, they need to fall back on the smiles and happy moments, and the people who provide them. Like you.
You and I suffer from the same ailment it seems. I don't live the most luxurious life, but it's a life that doesn't have a number of problems thankfully. But whenever I hear a friend on here come to me and tell me about their problems I always over my e-shoulder to them and try as best I can and I always wish that there was more that I could do instead of typing out words on a screen. Hell I almost bought a plane ticket to Austrialia the other day because of it. I guess what I'm saying is i know what it feels like to feel like everything you do is not enough, and I can personally say that that is not true. Even if you are only able to be there to talk with someone for a few minutes, it could mean the world to them because someone is taking an interest in their problems. You won't be forgotten dude. I look up to you as a writer and i'll admit that i've always been intimidated by you because I think that you are ions more popular on this forum and I respect you because of that. You can't be pushed out of our minds that easily. I feel bad that we've not really been able to get to know each other much, but the curse of shades strikes again, but if you ever need anyone to talk with, you know my pm. I'd also like to share this with you DF, and anyone else that is interested. This is an email that i received from a buddy when i was going through basically the same thing that you are talking about and it helped me. Ode to the Nice Guys This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal "This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and *****ing about what *******s guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. "This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. "This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that. "The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get the girl often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative jerks. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to go out with this total creep now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. "So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming...."
Look DF, you are as likely to be forgotten to this forum as Peter Jackson is to be forgotten to the film industry. Not gonna happen. You have singlehandedly created three awesome (Incomplete as of now) fanfics and a host of One-shots. You have orchastrated a redubbing of Negima using the forum! What more can you do to leave a giant mark on this forum? I remember when you were a normal member, and were reluctant to upgrade to premium until your join date anniversary. You will not be forgotten. (But if you leave now, I will be seriously irritated!)
