I'm Pathetic...

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by -Xero-, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. -Xero- Twilight Town Denizen

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    So, it's been 2 years and I haven't been able to get over my ex and I've tried EVERYTHING I can to try and forget and move on. I even tried breaking all contact and communication with him and that didn't even work... At first I thought it did but then he came to summer school today and found out that we was taking some sort of class during the summer.

    I talked to him today and I was happy being around him... But I suppose that's just a normal thing being that I can't get over him. Anyway, after he left I realized that I still have feelings for him... A lot of feelings. I've had a pretty good amount of boyfriends (I think 6 or 7) and he's the ONLY FRIGGIN ONE that I haven't been able to get over... I guess you could say I love him and I wouldn't reject that answer...

    Yeah, yeah I know that I'm young and I probably don't even know what love is yet or whatever, but I don't know how else to say what it is or why I still have a sh*t load of feelings for him. Again, its been 2 years and I still haven't gotten over the guy.

    What's worse is that my friend invited him to go to Six Flags (an amusement park for those of you who don't know what SF is) with us and she thinks that "it would be good for me" um, I don't know how this would be good for me.. Knowing her, she really didn't mean any harm she's just trying to help but I'm fine with him going but I know that I'll probably be depressed on the inside...

    Honestly, I don't even know why I still like the guy. He knows that I still like him a lot and he DOES take advantage of me for it. I know this because he's asked me for things that I don't want to say here and tried to guilt trip me into doing them. Or, for example, he said that he would get back together with me if I did one of those things he asked me to do. So I did it, because I was (and probably still am) at a desperate point of trying to get him back. So after I did said thing, he said that he wouldn't get back together with me.

    Yeah, how could I fall for such an obvious trick? Well, if you've ever been in the same situation I've been in, you would freaking know. So keep your mouth shut about me being a desperate idiot.

    I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm stuck and can't get away from it after I've tried countless things. I just don't know anymore. I've even gotten with someone else as a rebound and tried making my ex jealous at the same time, and I'm not gonna lie, the rebound guy was actually pretty hot but a total ass.hole all at once. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.

    When my ex broke up with me I was so depressed that I missed a months amount of school (maybe more) and had thoughts of suicide. I had to go to counseling as well for about 6 months on top of that. Honesty, that's seriously says something because after all the other guys that have dumped me before him, I've never had thoughts of suicide after, nor have I tried so hard to get them back.

    What's wrong with me? Seriously guys.. I don't know what to do anymore.
     
  2. Scarred Nobody Where is the justice?

    Joined:
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    There is nothing wrong with you. Heartache is a very terrible thing. I have been in your shoes though. It sounds like your ex Ida vampire, by which I mean he seems to be someone who sucks the life from you, but you can't keep away. I was in love with someone like that, and when she broke it off it practically killed me. I wanted her back, I was ignored, and I became depressed, suicidal and started taking sleeping medication just to make sure I wouldn't dream of her. I've gotten over her mostly, but there are days where I miss her.


    What your ex is doing to you is flat out wrong though. Manipulating you into things just to go back on his word. To me, that's extortion and is just not right. All the happiness you had with your ex will blind you to the bad times that they caused. When you can look back and see all the bad, that's at least a step in the right direction. It'll still hurt, but you'll learn to cope.
     
  3. Misty gimme kiss

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    I think you need to drill it into your head that he (frankly) is an asshole. From what you've said he's manipulative and will gladly exploit your feelings on personal whims. Given your reaction to the breakup it sounds like you were very emotionally dependent on him, which is not healthy. In short... you're really better off without toxic people in your life, and again, from the previews of his character you've offered, he definitely falls into the 'toxic' category.

    I, obviously, don't know why or how he broke up with you, nor much about your relationship when it was, but it may be useful to go into that. I realize those are likely painful memories but it's important not to romanticize what you had, which is a real possibility in situations like these. But even if not, he obviously is not interested in being in a committed relationship with you. And that sucks but that's the situation. No amount of wishing from you is going to change that. He is not, after two years, going to magically realize that he still has feelings for you and wants to be with you forever in harmony harmony oh love. And that's tough to go through and it's harsh for me to say it, but that's how it is. And it's important to remind yourself of that.

    I would suggest removing contact with him again. It sounds like he is still in your friend group so if you're unwilling to back away from the lot of them, talk to your friends, explain the situation, and request that you not include him in any group outings you will be in.

    You need to see the value in yourself and realize that you are better off without him. It doesn't have to be entirely painful--it can really be empowering in its own way. If your personal relationships aren't really working out then maybe you need to focus on yourself for a while--explore new hobbies, find something new in yourself, cultivate a talent, anything. Do it for yourself and nobody else. There's nothing wrong with you at all.
     
  4. Xalxe Merlin's Housekeeper

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    hmmm i can honestly say this is a new case for me but if you want my advice if he ask you for things you dont want to do then he isnt worth it. also agreeing with misty that he sounds like an *******, but ill give him the benifit of the doubt because i dont know him. that being said its still very clear that you have strong feelings for him. my advice is dont think about him at all. it will be hard the first few weeks but it will get easier than eventully you will get over him. and if that doesnt work you probably love him and i cant help you with that. Good day and good luck my friend.