I require your immediate assistance, KH-Vids.

A good friend of mine is currently stranded outside my home with only a house key in the vicinity around his being. He is, unfortunately, a living question mark and thus holds no access to optical sensory organs. He is thus requesting us to guide himself towards my home.

I have created a rudimentary map of the area below. His first task is to retrieve the key on the ground before entering one of the two doors around his person.

----[]----
----------
----------
-------k--
----------
----------
---?------
----[]----​

"Please, KH-Vids, you're my only hope!"

 

right, right, right, right, up, up, up

 

Do a barrel roll. It'd be easier to do so if it was an exclamation mark as the curve would simply cause problems for a smooth roll.

 

Why don't ya just shoot him?

 

----[]----
----------
----------
------?k--
----------
----------
----------
----[]----​

QUESTION MARK now stands facing the MYSTERIOUS KEY.

----[]----
----------
----------
-------?--
----------
----------
----------
----[]----
​

QUESTION MARK barrel rolls into the MYSTERIOUS KEY, retrieving it.

ITEM RECEIVED > MYSTERIOUS KEY

INVENTORY
[k] - KEY

But, what is this?

Spoiler

QUESTION MARK holds a slight feeling that this is not the correct key.

WHAT? checks his inventory:

INVENTORY
[p] - PENCIL
[p] - PENCIL
[P] - PEN
[W] - MOBY-DICK BY HERMAN MELVILLE

Sadly there is a discreet lack of ordnances within WHAT?'s inventory.

 

It's a shame there isn't a Q around otherwise your pen would be capable of shooting.

 

the house is unlocked though....

 

AND SO THE PLOT THiCKENS.

 

Two steps up, one step left, half a step left, then one step up. QUESTION MARK should be inside the house.

 

----[]----
----------
----------
-------?--
----------
----------
----------
----[]----​

It appears that both doors are indeed unlocked! However, QUESTION MARK begins to wonder the use of such a key on the ground, and which door he shall enter.

--------
----g---
--s----]
-s-s----
--------
--?-----
---[]---
[]
----[]----
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----[]----​

More ridiculous dashes? QUESTION MARK mutters to himself on the rather ridiculous decor of WHAT?'s home. But it appears he holds company.

BATTLE INITIATE

> Shadow Lv. 1
> Shadow Lv. 1
> Shadow Lv. 1

COMMAND
> Fight
> Item
> Dance
> Run

 

As noted before, enter the northward door.

 

I'm torn between Dance, Fight, and Run. If it were me, I'd run.

 

Dance .

 

> DANCE

QUESTION MARK conducts his most fabulous and lovely dance.

[video=youtube;cUd1NmCmx1c]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUd1NmCmx1c[/video]

--------
----g---
--s----]
-s-s----
--------
--?-----
---[]---
[]
----[]----
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----[]----

--------
----g---
--s----]
-s-s----
--------
--¿-----
---[]---
[]
----[]----
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----[]----

--------
----g---
--s----]
-s-s----
--------
--?-----
---[]---
[]
----[]----
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----[]----

--------
----g---
--s----]
-s-s----
--------
--¿-----
---[]---
[]
----[]----
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----------
----[]----​

BADLY-DRAWN NEUROTIC SHADOW ONE emits a verbal note of disgust.

THE SHADOWS have fled!

However, the DANCE command has TELEPORTALED QUESTION MARK to a bowling alley!

--[]--
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
----b-
--?---​

Goodness, how in the world shall QUESTION MARK visit WHAT?'s home at this moment?

 

Begin to spin diagonally while moving right, right, up.

 

What is the mysterious b on the ground.

 

Clearly a bowling ball.

 

Pick up the bowling ball thand roll it with force 18 up I guess ...

 

--[]--
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
----?-
------​

QUESTION MARK picks up the BUST OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER MACKENZIE BOWELL.

ITEM RECEIVED > BUST OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER MACKENZIE BOWELL

INVENTORY
[k] - KEY
- BUST OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER MACKENZIE BOWELL



QUESTION MARK realizes that this is absolutely useless. And he is not simply speaking of the fact that it is a bust.

--[]--
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
----b-
----?-
------
​

QUESTION MARK does not hold any dice to set a complete power roll at the moment, so QUESTION MARK bowls the BUST OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER MACKENZIE BOWELL across the alley.

--[]--
--b---
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
------
----?-
------​

[video=youtube;VapNvCXbRJg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VapNvCXbRJg[/video]

It appears to have unlocked a door at the end! However, the BUST OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER MACKENZIE BOWELL is now blocking the doorway.

 

Destory the bust and go through the door!