Hate and Grudges

Do you have anyone in your live, whether it was a past friend or someone currently in your life, that you hate? Do you hold grudges?

Personally, there is only one person that I "hate," but it's more of a dislike because of a lot of conflicts we had. The biggest one was during 5th grade camp when I chose to repeat the 5th grade. It wasn't until my freshman year at high school during my Systems of the Earth class that I saw him again. However, despite my dislike towards him, I showed no disrespect.

In terms of grudges, I don't hold them. For example, I went in one day after school last school year (senior year); on my way back out, I ran into some friends and started poking fun with one of them, so in return, he decided to have fun with me by holding me and spinning me around. I was fine with it until I told him to stop, but he didn't until a few seconds later when he dropped me. I wasn't injured at all, but I was pissed, so I went up to him and angrily said, "When I tell you to stop, you stop, okay!?," and left. Once back home, I had gotten over it. To this day, we're still friends (he's a senior this school year).

Discuss.

 

I used to, but I don't really hold grudges anymore.

There is no one in my life now or from the past that I hate, or hold a grudge against. I may be upset for a while, but it's usually just superficial stupidity and when push comes to shove, I honestly don't see the purpose in holding things consciously against people, especially those from the past. I feel that the past is over and done with and there's really nothing I can do about the things that happened back then. I forgive most of the things that have been done to me, and I've grown from them and moved on from them.

That being said, I do understand the pain in associating someone with a memory. If someone does something to really, deeply hurt you, I can empathize with not really being able to forgive them, depending on the severity (I am not talking about someone stole your HS boyfriend or called you a ***** or something. I mean intensely terrible things). However, to make it a conscious, every day thing where you just dwell on and boil in your hatred for someone just ... seems like a waste, to me personally. ​

 

I want to say I don't hold grudges, but I honestly do, but not for everything. If this person, or people, had done something I found to be cruel, disrespectful, or downgrading and I find it something serious or something that really hit home, then yes I do hold grudges. Currently, I bear no ill will on anyone (thank goodness). However, I do hold temporary grudges that I end up forgetting about because it was stupid anyway lol.

I don't hate anyone, and I don't think I will. I mean, I don't believe that someone would do something that cruel to me to earn my completely disregard. Hopefully, nothing will ever come to that point

 

At the end of the day it really just becomes a question of whether or not I want to put the energy into consciously hating someone. And I usually don't. There are people I know rub me wrong and that I don't want to be around, but that doesn't mean I hate them. It's just personal differences, and it can be maturely handled by just avoiding contact with them when you can, and being respectful when you can't.

As for grudges, I forgive pretty easily, but I'm already very reserved in relationships--if you wrong me, I'm not going to be as quick to open to you again. But, depending on what it is, it can usually be overcome.

 

I used to be better at not holding grudges, but not so much these days. Like there was coworker of mine that said something that rubbed me the wrong way when we first met. Even though I've seen that she's a nice person, I still kind of hate her just because of that one comment she made. I'm trying to just forget about it but it's really hard.

I know that grudges ultimately aren't worthwhile, but it's easier said than done to let them go.

 

It's not in my nature to hold grudges because I am practically programmed to move on and forget. If I fight with someone and stop talking to them...I will end up forgetting what the fight was about in the first place. I've never had a friend do something so incredibly terrible such as attempt to steal my boyfriend, or hit me, or something. Most of the fights I get into involve verbal bitterness, but never anything serious. I don't like to dwell in the past or harbor on hurt feelings, either.

And about hating- If I hate someone it is very short-lived. I dislike people, but generally I only feel an intense disgust for another person if the wound from the fight is fresh. If someone hurts me, and I see them in person I will most likely avoid them.

When it comes to conflict, the claws don't come out normally, but when they do you're gonna get hurt. If someone is purposely hurting me I tend to shove it back in their face, and make them feel like **** on the spot instead of holding a grudge. It's so unhealthy to hold onto negative feelings, and energy. I will only come at someone if they are provoking me. I have gotten so sick of all these girls I know harboring tons of negative energy about past friendships, and relationships. They just put the people down every chance they get, and it's usually based on shallow things. "Oh wow his new girlfriend is so ugly. What a down grade." or "She looks like ****...does she actually think she looks good in that shirt?"

I've never found that type of mindset to be rewarding or beneficial. Love the people who are good to you instead of focusing on all of the people who have stabbed you in the back. No one like that deserves to be spoken about or even noticed. And just remember...As you are sitting there in your miserable gossip...this person is probably having a great time not giving you a second thought.

But that being said...I can be forgiving, but as Misty said...that doesn't mean I'm going to open up or trust you again. Not necessarily a grudge, but rather, a wall that I tend to put up to protect myself from getting hurt.

tl;dr Grudges are dumb. Go eat a piece of cake and get over it.

 

Depends on what they do. My friends aren't *******s and the line is pretty blurry on the **** we do to each other, but there's always a shitload of respect between all of us. so i never really hold grudges against my friends unless they intentionally do something to harm me or somebody i care about.
if it's a stranger, i'm hell of a lot more likely to hold a grudge.

 

I do not hold active grudges i simply plot vengeance then set it on the backburner and wait this is of course if i am truly hurt because if not it isnt worth my time but if i have to plan then afterwards its off my mind until then and than its over out of my mind for good

 

There is this one person I hold a grudge on...

Once upon a time she thought I was angry at her, then she told me, "I hate it when my friends hide their problems with me or don't tell me if they're angry, I at least want to fix it." We had a fun, immature frenemy relationship, but good friends nonetheless. I really have no idea what I did or whatsoever, but one day she just started to ignore me out of the blue. There was this one time I tried to give her something as an act of apology for whatever I did, when I called her out, she acts as if she hears nothing. I got to the point where I was already pulling her arm, but still, she acts as if no one is. It hurt me at first, I have no idea what I did.

But then I remembered her words and thought, "What irony!" in a sarcastic manner. Why would you do something you'd hate to be done to you? She has some problem with me, I know, but she won't tell me what it is; exactly what she hated to be done to her. I don't hate her or anything; she just pisses me off.

 

I try not to hate or hold grudges, but hey, I have my weak moments too. I've pretty much based my life on 'forgive and forget', but then I find I trust people too much not to go against me again. I live trying very hard not to hate anyone. No matter how much I despise them or dislike what they like/do, at the end of the day its not my place to judge. Hate is such a strong word, I don't hate people, its not in my nature. Hell, my ex and I have even agreed that we don't hate each other even after quite a hurtful break up. He held it against me for about 3 months, after which he apologised for being a ******bag and we resorted to being civilized people. You see what I'm getting at? I don't even hate the guy who is supposedly my arch nemesis! And I certainly don't hold any grudge against him.

As for grudges in general, unless the person has done something REALLY horrible to me that I absolutely cannot forgive them for, then I will hold a grudge, but only for a little while. There was a girl when I was in year 8 who consistently bullied me as part of her little game until I changed schools. I have a grudge against her, and I hate her. You have to b a really rare breed of f*cked up or b*tchy for me to hate you or hold a grudge against you.

 

I don't genuinely hate anyone, rather there are some people who I have completely lost faith in, and some people who, because of their character, disgust me to no end.

 

I don't hate or hold grudges, more then maybe a day? A sleep can do wonders to my disposition.

People can change, most of the time they don't stay the same, in the span of 5 years on this site i've seen myself and others become almost totally different people. I don't hold grudges because I know these people I should be holding hate for will change. And if they don't, I feel more sorry for them then hate, that these people who have incurred my ire are still the same people I don't like. That to me is more there problem then mine to care or worry about.

 

I have no one I hate, or hold a grudge to. I suppose I could be vengeful given the right incentive but it has never come that far, fortunately.

 

I'd like to say I'm capable of being the bigger person and getting over grudges, but I'm really not.

It's not that I hold grudges exactly, I don't stay angry for a long time. It's usually that, because I dislike confrontation, I'll hide from people so the conflict never gets resolved. And as the people I tend to fall out with my only communication is online I rarely have to see them again, but as I'm a cosplayer and they're cosplayers we end up in the same places a LOT which results in a lot of awkward looks being exchanged and makes making friends difficult as I do my best to avoid them.
But I only avoid them because I know I can be downright horrible when I'm angry, and I don't want to totally offend them and make pure enemies. I'd rather just people I'd rather not have to talk to. I don't like being hated, and I don't ever hate people. I just get scared of what they might do to me.

 

Oh, this is a good one.

I'll be honest, I'm a pretty weak person; it's not hard for me to come to hate someone, but they usually give me a viable reason. This is just on person-to-person basis. There have been a lot of people who have wronged me in my life, but I don't hold grudges against them, and I don't hate them. Not anymore, at least. Within the last few years, I've started prioritizing what is important to me and who isn't.

To continue to hate someone or hold a grudge is a waste of time, time you could be making valuable. I feel it's just one of those things that you should . . . grow out of. What's the point? Especially if they don't know your feelings if you do hate them. If they do, then that's something else they can use against you, why give them that ammo? It just seems like a waste.

You have bigger fish to fry, don't waste that by spending time hating someone.

 

Do i hate people? Yes a fair few people. As much as im sick and tired of this hatred and what to forgive them it just doesn't go away.
Grudges? yeah... no suprise really since I hate those people. All it takes is one thing to be said or one thing to be done and then you can dislike that person, its sad really.

Hatred and Grudges isn't worth it. I know what its like to dwell on the past so depending on what it is I might not blame them (for dwelling on whatever). the past can't always be forgotten but the current day is much harder to forget.

(re written since for whatever reason i was logged out and this re write isn't as good but whatever. So I apologize if for some reason the previous one shows up here unlikely but. happened again so sorry if this particular version shows up again)

 

I say that I do not like certain people, I wouldn't actively think about them, thus forming a grudge, but I do dislike them a lot.

People usually say that they hold grudges because of something a person said once, but I dislike these people because of 5-6 of physical bullying. I don't understand how one can hate a person because of one thing that they said, it was just words, but that is not saying that family or friends can say things that upset you, but wait till tomorrow and you probably will have forgiven that person, but I am not talking about words, physical bullying for most of my primary/elementary school years, I actually have trust issues because of that, but I do not hold a grudge against those people, I jut dislike them.

I may not like those people, and you might not like other people either, but you have better things to do with your life, thinking about people you hate isn't going to help, holding a grudge takes up too much mental energy.

 

Hold grudges against someone? I used to when I was younger, but I don't do those kind of things anymore. At least I'm not like some people that would try to humiliate the person whom you have a grudge on. :)

 

It takes a lot for me to actively hate someone. Especially since I empathize with most everyone I meet. But once it happens, brother, you better hit the deck if we're in the same room. I don't like to hold grudges, though, because I don't get anything out of them. If in polite company, I will usually try to be rational and sociable with the object of my loathing as long as they don't start anything.

 

I love holding grudges
No I do hold grudges I just don't show it. I'll keep it in the back of my mind and once that person slips its done for them. I don't wait for that moment either like I'm just dying for that slip up that's idiotic. When that moment comes they want cross the line there is no such thing as holding back any longer. Some people on this site man oh man I just can't even stand so I avoid them to avoid conflict. Although if they would like to talk to me personally I'll be delighted to talk with them.

There's a lot of people I detest with a burning passion, and show them no mercy too. The moment they even speak and its towards me again no mercy. For example some people here at my college man they love to pop off with the mouth. So I shut them down instantly getting them to understand you should never even speak with me, towards me, direct comments towards me, or say thing subliminally about me in a conversation when I'm right there.

My favorite are these kids who are spoiled with all these fancy cars, new gear, and all of that and expect me to fix their cars for them. Yea I have the fastest car on campus I'll go on the track and beat you all. Kid you think installing a new exhaust, and those new wheels give you more speed. The most you've done to your car is put an K&N Air Filter in it with the wrong turbo so it runs too rich. Have you ever been to a real street race before? Not those fake ones where they mod out there cars with only max 4grand in the motor claiming they're fast. Like where these body shops mod out there cars with 40k in the engine alone and street race any other shop who claims they know how to mod out better then they do. I get laughed at and insulted and they still think I'll fix their cars for them. I can refuse to fix their cars and ask my Autobody or Chassis teacher for another car for me to fix.

I don't condone street racing done it for 2 years and seen some stuff so if you really want race go on a track seriously that lifestyle can get you killed quicker than you think, or end up doing time behind bars if you go into deep. You think 2 years is nothing participate in the events that go down where I'm from then talk.