(I was gonna post this on the Help With Life section since it's affecting me rather deeply, but I prefer to make a separate section taking about this more deeply in the HWL Fourm while this is more of a general discussion about it.) Wherever we go in life, there's always that person that sticks to us rather close, sometimes close enough to be a brother/sister. And other times, so fragile that they forget all about you just over the span of summer. So let me ask you people, what is your definition of a "friend?" Is it someone you just know temporarily and start over once you moved up in life? Or is it someone that you'll know deeply and will know them till the end of time? Or maybe it's something more than just that?
I may not be the best person to answer, because I have never had any luck with friends. I consider everyone that I meet/hang out with to really be acquaintances. If something were to happen, like we had a grand adventure, had a deep one on one conversation that connected us, then I generally consider them friends. Though, I don't know if I even have any friends right now, myself, so I may not be qualified to answer.
Anyone who has been there with me through the best and worst times (like I would be for them) and doesn't run for the hills the moment you want to confide in them, I would consider a friend. It takes time for me to warm to people and patience on their part to get to know me so I definitely don't consider someone a friend easily. I only have a few true friends, the rest are just people I socialise with.
To me, a friend is someone who is/was able to be there for me when I needed them, or for me to help them when they needed me. Someone who I am/was able to share a laugh with, and talk to about nearly anything. I do not think a friend is someone who always has and always will be there. I have many friends come and go, and its because life led that way. Friends tend to have a common link, and when that common link is gone, then sometimes the friendship dies away. But as long as they left an impact on me, I consider them a friend. Current or not. Whether I knew them for years and then we just stopped talking, or if I only was with them for a day and we kept in contact. The definition of a friend tends to be a personal definition. Like love or family. In the end it is up to you what you want a friend to be.
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." Oscar said it better than I could. I have felt this way since I was a kid. I have always treated my friends this way. Anyone whose company I enjoy is a friend. I will uphold trust with them. If they tell me a secret, I will keep it. If they ask me to do a favor and I can do it, I will do it. They do not have to extend the same courtesy to me to be my friend. i.e. Rivals are also friends. Anyone whose company I do not enjoy is an enemy. It does not matter how much they like me, how much they are there for me, how many favors they do for me. They have to be enjoyable. Boring people sap my energy and should stay away.
For me, a friend is someone who I can spend time with and enjoy myself when I'm around them. Every friend I make, I always remember them as a friend, even when they drift away. But when they drift away, I move them from the "current" category to the "once was" category in my head. It's hard for me to make a genuine friendship, because I have trouble letting myself go and making the effort it takes to move from an acquaintance to a friendship. Part of the reason I can't let go is because I also have a hard time keeping friends in the "current" category and eventually they do all drift away. I usually end up having three or four current friends at any given time, and then after awhile, they start to drift away. Although I always make an effort to keep the friendship, I'm not about to force anything, and so if my attempts don't work, I let them go. Mainly because I had one "friend" who seemed really laid back and nice, but after two weeks managed to pressure me into giving her my name and phone number and adding her on facebook, and then suddenly turned into a crazy, needy, overdramatic control freak. It took me almost two years to drift away from her, and even with all my slow "drifting" she still pushed me till the last and ended up feeling hurt and betrayed when it was finally over. I know because she posted about it on facebook. One of my biggest fears is accidentally being "that" person to someone else, so when it becomes apparent to me that my friends find me "tedious," like Makaze said, I- well, I do what Isabelle did in A Christmas Carol. To quote the musical: "I release you with a full heart, for the love of what once was." XD If someone is a friend to me, I always remember them as such, even if I ended up not being a friend for them.
