Church Bulletins

Discussion in 'The Spam Zone' started by The Fuk?, Jun 28, 2009.

  1. The Fuk? Dead

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2008
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    1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and
    north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both
    ends.

    2. Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All
    ladies giving milk, come early.

    3. Wednesday the ladies liturgy society will meet. Mr.
    Johnson will sing, "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by
    the pastor.

    4. Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the little
    mothers club. All ladies wishing to be little mothers
    please meet with the pastor in his study.

    5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to
    come forward and lay an egg at the alter.

    6. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water".
    One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
    congregation will join in.

    7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray
    the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do
    something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of
    paper.

    8. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
    kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday
    afternoon.

    9. A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the
    church basement. Music will follow.

    10. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce
    the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.
    Julius Belzer.

    11. Tonights sermon: What is hell? Come early and listen
    to our choir practice.

    12. For those of you who have children and don't know it,
    we have a nursery downstairs.

    13. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church
    and community.

    14. Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

    15. Don't let worry kill you off -- let the church help.