We all know that in KH series riku doesn't have a crush on anyone except maybe Kairi, but she and sora like each other and riku knows it too. So here's a couple i have put together and i hope i can one day find more than one pic of them and find AMVs of them. KH and FF charcters belong to Square Enix. ~chapter1: the dream or warning~ Riku could feel the darkness trying to take over him. "don't give in riku!" who was there? riku thought. "whatever happens just don't give in with the darkness!" her voice was soft,alert, and worried. "who,who are you?" "we will meet... and i can tell you everything." AH! riku woke up breathing heavley. "just another darkness dream, but this time who was that girl?" riku couldn't fall back asleep, with being reminded of how he joined the darkness and had betrayed sora, but he also stayed up wondering who that girl was, and if the darkness was going to take over him again. ~chapter 2: panic! and sunsets~ The sun had come up, riku looked out his window, "wow, i've forgotten how much the sunrises... whoa!" "oh my god!,oh my god, oh my god!" riku ran outside and onto the beach. He was there to see if his eyes had decived him, they hadn't, although he wished they had. "oh, no" a girl was passed out on the beach, her clothes were ripped and bloody scars on her arms and legs. "please don't be dead" he checked her pulse, she was still breathing. He took her home, cleaned the blood off of her and laid her on the living room couch, he called sora and kairi over. "has she woken up at all?" asked kairi. "no". It was nearly sunset when she woke up. "hey are you okay?" said riku " i think so" she said faintly " whats your name and what happened to you" riku asked quietly Well there it was. i'll be sure to write the rest up. Hope you all enjoyed it!:D And try to guess who the girl is:p
...I really, really don't mean to be rude but did you write this to just get more posts? Because well, the first chapter is really short. You don't describe Riku's surrounding of the darkness and his senses. For example, you just put the 'darkness trying to take over him.' You didn't actually explain why the darkness was trying to take over him and you did not explain where Riku lives. I got the basic assumption that he lives in a beach-house or something. It also helps to check your grammer.
Yeah it was alright... I know my storys are short (My 'Marluxia has a bad day' Posts) But your is...umm...A paragraph long? I like your idea you just need to describe more and dont forget Capital letters and full stops Like... "Whats your name and what happened to you?" Riku asked quietly. But i do like your idea..Dont get me wrong or anything! :D
I assumed people knew why the darkness was taking over Riku and where he lives (Destiny Islands), I thought that if i described where riku lived I might ramble on, i've been told so by my writing teacher when I turned in two doublesided papers of my memiors, said i had to do a lot of revision ( i was so pissed off!). and I typed this up really fast before parents got home, so didn't have time to check spelling or grammar. also what did you mean by if i wrote this to get more posts? This is my first story i've put up up here, a neverending kingdom preview does not count.
Well this one may not be that long but please don't flame me for it! Part two of Riku's first love ~chapter 2 p2 of panic and sunsets~ "has she woken up at all?" asked kairi. "no". It was nearly sunset when she woke up. "hey are you okay?" said riku " i think so" she said faintly " whats your name and what happened to you" riku asked quietly."my, my name?" she said confused "um, my name, oh my name is Tifa, but first where am I?!" she said quickly and panicy. "whoa! take it easy there!" Riku said. "You're on Destiny Islands, i'm Riku, this is Sora and Kairi. But I just want to know what happened to you." "oh, um well all I remember was crossing a rope bridge, missing a step, falling, falling into darkness, and feeling cold water all over my body." Tifa said softly. "Well at least you're still alive." Sora said. "Hey do you remember how you got the cuts on you're arms and legs?" asked Sora. "um, when I fell I remember a lot of rocks scraping against me." Tifa said. "Well you should get some rest." "um, but I want to know how did you find me?" Tifa asked. "Oh it was Riku." Kairi said and smiled. "Yea, you're lucky, I was looking out my window and I saw you on the beach bearley alive, I thought for a minute you weren't going to make it." Riku said worringly. "Thank you, Riku." Tifa had managed to smile for the first time. Riku didn't know her, but liked it when she was happy. Well there it was and I capitalized and all that crap. Hope you liked! still going to write the rest up! and I’ll try to write longer.
Well this one may not be that long but please don't flame me for it! ----- So you don't want advise? Idk who was flaming, but pretty much everyone was giving advise and tips for you.
Pretty much what DarknessKingdom said about the taking over darkness... WHY? And capitalization; I would suggest if you're having a hard time or just type really fast to type in microsoft word... does it automatically. Also it could use more descriptions or emotion... something to give it more substance. I'm done rambling now... :D
I don't know, thought it would be a good beggining of Riku having a dream of the darkness trying to take over him.
