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It's really odd for me to post here. I don't really have any "drama" that others have. It's plain and simple (which is how my life has been so far) and that does sort of lead into what I'm going to say.


I really don't have many friends. I went to a magnet school for grades 6-8 and now I'm a Junior in High School. I knew anybody when I first went. And then, at the beginning of January, I began having pains in my stomach. I could never stop burping, and it would increase when I was stressed or nervous (it still does for some reason). I stopped going to school and was home schooled. I couldn't do anything public, really. Doctor's kept trying to find out what the problem was. 5 months later (near the end of the school year) I got a radiation scan of some sort. They inject a metalic-feeling liquid into my body and they searched my body for 1 and a half for what the problem was. Turned out I had Gallbladder disease. I got surgery after school ended, to make it less complicated so I wouldn't have to go back for the last 3 weeks. 10th grade was better. I began meeting people a bit, and I got a better impression of the school. Now, 11th, I'm way more social, even if I'm still reserved, and it's going much better. But because I was always quiet and reserved, I never dated anybody. And there are a few girls I want to ask out, but I don't know because I want friends too. I'm also not too sure if I'm ready to date, as much as I want to. I'm trying to weigh if love is more important than friendship at this point. But if I don't date, I can't go to dances and stuff. And I'm a pretty lonely guy. I don't have many people to hang out with at places. Only with my youth group for some events or at school with the acquantences I have there. And I really don't want any drama that my friends have. In a way, I'm kind of disgusted by some of the stuff. Like breaking up through a text message or breaking up with somebody because they look young and dating your friend's friend. So, any ideas? =/

 

Well...with the dating thing.....first, if you really want to date one of these girls, I say go for it. Just make sure they show some kind of friendliness/affection to you.

I mean...with my last crush, I was so unsure to tell him that I liked him, but then I noticed that he talked to me alot, went with me to places (like to my car or even next class), etc. THen I told him that I liked him and he said that he did too. ^_^

Anyways, back to the problem...make sure that the person is sincere and really does care about you.

 

Makes me wish I weren't so naive and could notice that stuff...

 

Remember! Nothing can happen until you swing the bat. Sometimes it best to take a stab at life and just jump on the chance. Things won't always go the way you want, but that's what mistakes are for. I know, if you do nothing you can't fail, right? Well, if you do nothing, you can't succeed either.

 

OH yeah...try to take the risk. Worst thing she can say is that she doesn't like you the way you like her.

and....The experience of seperation will happen in your life whether you want it to happen or not. *just went through it*

 

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Just do your best to get that courage. The rest will come naturally as you progress.

 

Wow, that's quite something. Hmm...well I'd suggest that you ponder on it a bit more before making any moves, weigh your friendship with love and see which is more important to you. It's not an absolute necessity to go to a dance or a HS event with a GF, since you can always attend them with your little kr3w of friends. Often, bringing the idea of love in a friendship can make the relationship between your friend awkward if she does decline the offer, which can ultimately result in losing her as a friend, but if that's what happens then she was probably not that close of a friend than you thought she was. I've had that happen to me with a couple of guys, so be aware of that. Those who does not let such petty things come in between your relationship/friendship would be considered a good friend. Now, these girls you are interested in, if you really would like to ask one of them out, then observe their demeanor around you and weigh the chances of her liking you back, and if you feel that the connection is right, then just go for it. If you unsure of her feelings, but you're sure that you really like then, again, go ahead and ask, and whatever answer she gives, you'll know how she really feels about you. It's always a risk to ask a friend out, but it's still worth it. Yeah, it's easier said than done, but be positive and gather up your courage and do what you need to do.

Oh, and since you say that you don't have much to outside of your youth group and school, then I'd also suggest that you can always invite your said acquaintances from school to your place, and go out for a movie or something on the weekends; go chill at a park or head to the mall to pick up more girls. x3. Just plan some basic stuff to do and call 'em over.

Lastly, HS drama is something you cannot avoid even if your life depended on it [trust me]...it's kind of like this place. No matter what you do, KHV will always be a source of drama, where completely new ones are born every day. :p

 

Well the only simple advice I could support you with is to jump in and improvise on the dating a little. If you're an honest person and think you can uphold yourself, who are you kidding? But if not, it will certainly be an interesting experience, won't it? :P

That's what I did, anyway. -points to Sabby-chan- :333

 

Oh, and I'm very sorry to hear about your gulbladder. I hope things are working much better after surgery.

 

In Junior High and High School, love isn't really more important than having great friends. In all seriousness, dating is fun but people in school take it way too seriously at times. Also, you don't have to give up friends to date someone, nor do you have to give up friends if you happened to get serious about some girl. Having both friends and a significant other is an important thing. Married people don't tend to lose their friends so it keeps their lives more open and they have other things to do than just be around each other all the time.

Basically, what I mean is that one isn't a trade off for the other. Going out with a girl simply means that now you have this aspect in your life too and have someone great to get to know better, but you don't need to give up your friends to do so and if you do and things don't work out with the girl, you'd have stopped communicating with others and you have to start being friends all over again, which is a pain. It also means a bit of a busier life. You can still go to dances and such even if it is alone and perhaps you'd meet some girls there to dance. I can see though why you wouldn't want to as you might feel out of place but many girls also go to dances single. The clue to dances is well, don't be someone that just stands against the wall.

If you've got the time to go out with someone, don't have to compromise losing friends and can still do your homework etc, then I'd say you were ready to try it out. Just make sure to choose a girl with similar interests to you and who doesn't seem the sort who is really co-dependent and will try to make you give up a lot just to date her. Try to get someone who isn't the jealous sort too. In other words, look for a girl who may already be a friend to you if you decide to do this. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

 

I think you should also maybe look into self-help books. I find some of them quite informative.

 

Well, I figured out what I may do. I got a girls number from last night (just friends. Not dating or anything >_>) at a Shabbat dinner event with my youth group. I pretty much figured out what I may do with everything from here on out. Thanks for the advice guys, but I'm going to go my own way on this one.

 

Alright dude, whatever floats your boat. Good luck! :noworries:

 

Well, do your best. My suggestion, go to PARTIES!

 

Dude, I hear you. I have the same problem, minus the whole bladder thing.

I dont know, I guess ask for advice from L or something.

 

Great! Taking initiative is awesome. Just make sure to pace yourself and things should work out.