Irony Man!! http://www.eyrie.org/lnh/roster/ironyman.html
Spoiler Alert! In the unlikely case that you live isolated from the world of pop culture and don't know the twist of the Empire Strikes Back, and plan on watching it but haven't gotten around to it, then this story contains spoilers. “What’s the best Star Wars movie?†asked Richard. “Hmmm…I kinda like Empire best.†replied Irvin. “Ya, see I never gotten into the whole Empire Strikes Back being the absolute best thing. I always preferred Return of the Jedi.†responded Richard. “What!? Empire has the most dramatic ending; it has the big twist about Darth Vader being Luke’s father. The other two just end with big explosions; this one had the smartest and least Michael Bay-esque ending.†preached Irvin. “Well, I started watching them when I was 5. Of course, I was probably also watching them all out of order. I think I even watched Return of the Jedi first possibly. Anyways, when you’re 5, you don’t see the significance of him being Luke’s father. You’re just glad that your dad only gives you time outs rather than chopping your hand off. You didn’t really get the whole impact of not only his is father alive, but the man who he is trying to defeat to avenge his father; is in fact his father. So, yeah, probably the greatest twist in a movie ever is completely wasted on me.†responded Richard. “What about the twist of Fight Club?†asked Irvin. “Actually you were the one who spoiled that twist for me because you wanted to convince me that there was more to the movie than just Brad Pitt taking his shirt off. You did the same thing for A Beautiful Mind and The Sixth Sense.†replied Richard. “Ooo, right sorry about that.†apologized Irvin. “Don’t worry, my dear friend, I called you here specifically because I was going to rectify those inequities.†said Richard. “What do you mean?†asked Irvin. “I’m going to present to you, a little invention I made.†said Richard as he picked up a hammer that had 1977 written on it. “This here is a rather brilliant device. It has the power to not only send a person back in time, but to erase their memories as well. It’s simple really, all you do is bonk somebody on the head and they’ll wake up in whatever time is written on the hammer. Since I wrote 1977, it’ll send me to the year 1977; where I shall along with many others attend Star Wars for the very first time. Then I along with many others shall build up expectations for three years as I wait for the Empire Strikes Back to be released. Having done this, then I finally shall be able to truly appreciate the brilliance of Empire Strikes Back. Then I shall wait to see my beloved Return of the Jedi; and then through my mature adult mind; I shall truly be able to decide which Star Wars movie is the best.†said Richard. “You made a time traveling device out of a hammer?†asked Irvin. “I know. It’s not quite as glamorous as DeLorean, but efficient.†said Richard. “You call getting bonked on the head with a hammer and waking up in a different time with amnesia efficient?†asked Irvin. “Hey it works for my purpose. How else can I get the true Star Wars experience.†stated Richard. “Okay, let me get this straight; the first man to invent a time traveling device, invents one that gives you amnesia and no way of returning to your original time. Not only that, but the reason for creating the device; is so he can watch three movies over the course of what 6 or 7 years. Movies, which he’s seen dozens of times before no less.†inquired Irvin. “Well, when you say it like that…it does sound kinda dumb†said Richard. “However it won’t sound dumb in 1977, baby!†said Richard as he grabbed the hammer and clunked himself on the head and passed out. Richard awoke, in a small field. He ran towards a road waving his arms around like a maniac (or at least it would be “like a maniac†if the aforementioned person wasn’t a maniac). A group of teenagers were driving by in a Trans Am. They pulled over. “Hey dude, you seem off edge, need a lift.†said the driver. “Sure, why not.†replied Richard. “We were just heading off to see Star Wars.†said the driver. “What the hell is Star Wars?†asked Richard who was completely unaware that his grand master plan was working out perfectly. Several hours later, they were walking out of the theatre. The Trans Am driver, whom we shall call Dave, said “So, how did everyone like it.†His friends said things like “It was pretty goodâ€, “It was funâ€, and “I liked the part when they gone done blewed up that thar death starâ€. Richard exclaimed “That was the greatest movie ever!!!†and then he started playing with an imaginary lightsaber. Over the course of the next year; Richard watched Star Wars many times, bought many Star Wars merchandise, and often talked about Star Wars. Then on November 17, 1978; he ran to the television set and pushed everyone aside screaming “Hey, we’re gonna miss the best event in television history!†He then turned on The Star Wars Holiday Special. 2 hours later, “What the hell was that?! My, god, who would have thought George Lucas would release a Star Wars product of such low quality. I mean for god’s sake; the first ten minutes is just Wookies growling!†complained Richard. On May 21, 1980; The Empire Strikes Back opened in theatres. Richard, Dave, and some friends were in line. “Yo, Richard, if this is as crappy as that Life Day nonsense, you can walk home.†threatened Dave. “Don’t worry, I have a gut feeling it’ll be good.†replied Richard. They sat in the theatre and watched this magnificent sequel. They were all thoroughly enjoying the film. Then they got to the big moment, the moment that Richard had no idea he had been waiting his whole life for. It was right after the intense lightsaber duel, when Darth Vader said one of the biggest, most surprising, and misquoted lines in cinema history “No. I am your father.†dun dun dun. The theatre all gasped in shock. One obnoxious person shouted “Oh, no he didn’t!†After the film ended, people began to leave. However, Richard remained seated. Dave said “Ok, that movie rocked. You don’t have to walk home now.†Richard just sat there not saying anything. “Okay, let’s go.†said Dave. Richard remained seated. “The credits are over and everything, let’s hit the highway.†said Dave. Then one of their friends, Steve, put his hand Richard. “He has no pulse.†Later, the paramedics confirmed Richard died of a heart attack. “The shock of Darth Vader, being Luke’s father must have shocked him to death.†said Dave. “Yeah, thanks for ruining the movie for me, jerks.†said the paramedic as he zipped up the body bag of the time traveler.
before I die I want to go to: Asia: Japan China Korea Australia Europe: Amsterdam Ireland Scotland England Switzerland Germany Americas: Mexico Candada Brazil Africa: Egypt Kenya How about all of you?
So I just recently watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time in like 10 years. The Beast still scared the crap outta me. (*sigh* I'm a 17 year old boy who doesn't flinch during Saw and Hostel, but Beauty and the Beast makes me jump on multiple occasions) Also, I still think that the Beast looks dorky as a human Also, I found a lot more innuendo...not that really found any when I was 7.
Doesn't Robert Pattinson of Twilight kinda look like Quentin Tarantino? Here's Robert http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3066664192/nm1500155 Here's Quentin http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1097177856/nm0000233
This might be old news but here's the petition to stop Zac Efron from playing Light/ Kira in the American adaptation of Death Note http://www.petitiononline.com/apple88/petition.html
I was thinking of getting Mass Effect for Christmas and whatnot anyways I was wondering, if you make a female character can she hook up with Seth Green's character?
Which form of apocalypse would you prefer? Personally I'd say zombies, Dawn/Shaun of the Dead and Dead Rising made it look fun
Werewolves are elitist! Afterall they only come out on full moons. Apparently other moons aren't good enough for them. Spread the word.
Frankly, I think video game music is actually more important than graphics and can really affect how you feel about the game. Some of my favorite games are Kingdom Hearts(which has arguably the most beautiful music of any game I've played,), Super Mario RPG(which has the catchiest music that'll be stuck in your head for years) and the N64 Zeldas. And quite frankly I think one of the main reasons I think most modern sequels aren't as good as the originals are the music. For example, New Super Mario Bros. was a good game but had bland music it and didn't seem anywhere near the level as the NES games which had very good music. Same goes for Twilight Princess. What do you all think?
Which colour is more fun to say? Maroon or periwinkle?
I was watching seinfeld, and all of a sudden they said breaking news so I expect something about floods or something, but no it was about some baseball player named Yost got fired; I fail to see how this is breaking news and it went on for 10 minutes; I am outraged!! OUTRAGED!! But on the bright side, I think Jerry Seinfeld is getting back at them with his new sitcom with Bill Gates. You see what they did is actually quite brilliant, their sitcom is short of enough to fit into commercial breaks therefore Fox can't interrupt them because Fox never has Breaking News during commercials That's right my fellow Jerry, fight the power!! P.S. I love a good mindless rant, don't you?
Wouldn't that be awesome, I mean who would expect the comic relief wrestling announcer/ annoying usher/ French maitre'd would try to take over the city?!!
I recently purchased Super Mario RPG on the Virtual Console It is my favorite game off all time and I haven't played it for 6 years Anyone who has a Wii, I highly recommend this game there is not better way imagineable to spend $8 I love the wedding scene!!
Little does John McCain realize that if he has a female VP it could lead to his death Think about it, Hilary clinton supporters didn't jump to McCain's side because they suddenly changed all their values, they desperately want a woman president Therefore they are going to vote for John McCain and then kill him, so they can have a female president A Vote for Obama is a vote to save a life. I'm Barack Obama, and I sort of approve this message
Happy Russia Day, Comrades!! Russia Day Russia Day is a holiday of national unity celebrated on June 12. On this day, in 1990, Russian parliament formally declared its sovereignty. The holiday was officially established in 1994. Initially it was named "Day of the adoption of the Declaration of Sovereignty of the Russian Federation", on 1 February 2002 was officially renamed to "Russia Day" (in 1998 Boris Yeltsin offered this name socially). There exist a widespread myth, that the name of this holiday is/was "Russia Independence Day", but it never had such a name in official documents. Tetris (Russian: Тетрис) is a falling-blocks puzzle video game, released on a vast spectrum of platforms. Alexey Pajitnov originally designed and programmed the game in June 1985,[1][2] while working for the Dorodnicyn Computing Centre of the Academy of Science of the USSR in Moscow. He derived its name from the Greek numerical prefix "tetra-", as all of the pieces contain four segments, and tennis, Pajitnov's favorite sport.[3][2]
Hello friends, this is yet another story I wrote for my creative writing class tell me what you think Take me to your Lead Role This is the story of a young and talented actor named Tobey. Tobey always had a passion for acting beginning with his first role as Tiny Tim when he was seven years of age. Tobey was very attached to his role. He always walked around with his crutch and insisted that everyone call him Tiny Tim. Tobey always got into character way too much. It was cute when he was young, but eventually it just got weird. When Tobey became a teenager, he was in a play where he was a vampire. He refused to go outside during the daytime. So he would wait at school 2-3 hours after rehearsal until he could go home, and he would leave for school at 5:00 in the morning. It didn’t stop there. He also got a part in Grease. He would put grease in his hair, even though it wasn’t even necessary for the role. Also he would break out into song and dance at random times. It was especially strange when he got a role as Romeo in Romeo & Juliet. He talked in rhymes for starters. Also he talked to himself from time to time. Also he was under the impression that the girl who played Juliet was his girlfriend despite the fact they had never met before the audition and she had a boyfriend. Perhaps his strangest behavior was when he was in The Diary of Anne Frank. He would just sit perfectly still in his attic for hours upon hours. He didn’t even show up for the play. He refused to leave his attic due to his fear that the Nazis were going to get him. This peculiar behavior wasn’t just associated with plays either. He once played Dungeons & Dragons. He claimed he was an elf and went around saying that he had to fight the evil dragon with his +1 mace. Okay, I think you get the picture. He currently has a role in the play The Lonely and Delusional Boy who Claimed to See an Alien but Didn’t by the famous playwright Harold Wogelsang. He plays a lonely and delusional boy who claims to see an alien but didn’t. Several actors who he had worked with over the years got together for an intervention. For Tobey was a rather creepy and frustrating person to be around, and the actors felt it was time for Tobey to get a grip on reality. The news about how his colleagues felt shocked Tobey. He always believed his behavior was completely rational. However, he decided that in the future he would try his hardest to not become his character. Late that night, Tobey was lying on his roof staring at the stars. He was deep with his thoughts; wondering whether or not his behavior was strange and if he could control his behavior for his newest role. Then all of a sudden a UFO zoomed through the sky! “Well, there something you don’t see everyday.†thought Tobey. The following day at school. Tobey told his fellow actors about the event he saw. Angelica, the most serious and boring actress he worked with, said, “Honestly, one day! You couldn’t be normal for one day?†Tobey had completely forgotten about his role in the play and the complications it brought upon his alien story and his new attempt at sanity. Tobey then wondered perhaps he never saw the UFO and it was just his imagination trying to help him get into character. Tobey then decided to fight his insanity and to convince the actors that it was just a joke. Later that night, Tobey was once again lying on his roof staring at the night sky deep in thought. Had he seen this UFO, or was it his subconscious mind pulling a trick on him so he’d become his character? Then the UFO flew through the sky again! The next day, Tobey chose not to tell anyone about his second encounter with the UFO because he wanted to have proof first. So late that night, he got up on his roof with a camera and waited for the UFO. Then the UFO came by and he got a picture. The next day he showed the picture to the doubters. Tom, an actor Tobey was somewhat intimidated by ever since his portrayal of a Nazi in The Diary of Anne Frank, said, “Oh, please your character in the play does the same thing. He takes a picture of a toy UFO and tries to convince his friends that it’s the real thing. See, your still getting into character. Save it for the stage, ya loony nut.†Tobey didn’t realize that his character had done a similar thing in the play. Now that Tobey thought about it, he had been so caught up in his UFO shenanigans he hadn’t read past the 3rd page of his script. That night Tobey decided to read the entire script. He had a clever plan. In order for him to convince people he wasn’t becoming his character; he would have to act nothing like his character. He then looked out the window to see the UFO zip through the sky. He then extended his middle finger and stuck it out the window. At the next rehearsal, Tobey was wearing a top hat with an apple glued to the top of it, red and blue 3-D glasses, a shirt with one long sleeve and one short sleeve, and pink jeans with picture of a green flamingo on the left knee. Angelica asked, “What’s with your outfit?†Tobey replied, “To prove to you all that I’m not insane and I really did see a UFO; I’m acting nothing like my character.†“Let me get this straight. You’re going to prove you’re not crazy by dressing like that.†Tom said while laughing. “Well, does my character ever do this in the play? No he doesn’t, and I’m going to prove to you all I’m not making this up!†replied Tobey. Tobey then approached the director, and told him he was quitting the play! Tobey then ran to the other actors. “There, I’m officially not part of this play anymore. There is no character for me to try to be. This is me… the real me. I’m telling you all I saw a UFO!†Phil, Tobey’s understudy, exclaimed, “Woo, I get to be in the play!†The rest of the actors completely ignored Tobey and congratulated Phil. “Fine, be that way.†Tobey muttered and no one heard, and he sadly walked away. Later that night, he yet again lied on his roof and looked up at the night sky. He saw the UFO; however it did not zip through the sky. It was just hovering above him. A bright green light appeared from the UFO, and an alien slowly came out of the ship. The alien had a body similar to a human except he had green skin, nothing in his eye sockets, claws, and a horn sticking out his forehead. “Oh, me god, me cannot belief I be talking to you.†said the alien in a bizarre accent. Tobey was so freaked out about was going on he couldn‘t say anything. “Me name is Dogen. Me is your biggest fan.†Tobey then mustered up some courage and spoke to the alien, “How, do you know me?†“My people are fans big of plays. So we be using cameras to watch plays. We also be interested in behavior of actors so we be watch them to. Actors be so silly. You be silliest of all.†replied Dogen. “Great, the whole universe is mocking me.†said Tobey. “Not Saturn.†replied Dogen. “Really?†asked Tobey. “That be joke; no one lives on Saturn.†joked Dogen. “Me come to earth to find you because me can never get part in play at my planet, and me want acting lessons from great actor.†Then an idea sparked in Tobey’s mind. Perhaps he could trick the alien into revealing himself to all the disbelieving actors. “Alright, if you can convince the actors at my school you are human, then you will be a good actor.†“Okay, me think me can do that. Before we begin lessons, me have question.†said Dogen. “What is the question?†asked Tobey. “What did that thing you did with your middle finger mean?†asked Dogen. “Oh, nothing.†said Tobey nervously. Throughout the night Tobey gave the alien intentionally terrible acting lessons. The next day, Tobey had dressed up the alien to look more like a human. He first covered him with make up to make his skin look normal. He gave the alien his top hat to cover up the horn. The alien wore sunglasses to cover up his eyeless sockets and gloves to cover up the claws. Later that morning, Tobey and Dogen met up with the actors. “Good any minute now this alien’s strange behavior and appearance is going to reveal the alien’s identity and prove that I’m not crazy.’ thought Tobey. “Hi everybody, this is my new friend, Dogen, he’s a foreign exchange student.†said Tobey. “Pleasure meeting you.†replied Dogen. “Isn’t it nice day for humans, for which I am.†“Yeah, it’s a good a day to be a human, I guess.†replied Angelica. “Me like pet rocks and bookcases, you know human stuff.†said Dogen. “Did any you watch last night’s human sport event. Me missed it half way through because me human dad turned channel television to earth news.†“Tobey, this guy’s awesome!†replied Tom. “Awesome? This guy is totally weird how are they at least not a little bit suspicious? This is going to call for drastic measures.†thought Tobey. Tobey then tapped Dogen’s top hat off his head. Dogen’s horn is now exposed. “Hey, that thing’s cool. You should audition for Rhinoceros.†said Phil. “Really? Me always want to be in play!†said the excited Dogen. “Oh, come on! Can’t you see he’s an alien?†shouted Tobey. “Oh, don’t be so insensitive, Tobey just because someone looks a little different doesn’t mean he’s an alien.†said Angelica. “Just a little different!†shouted Tobey. Tobey then poured some water on Dogen to reveal his green skin. He then yanked the gloves off Dogen to reveal the claws, and pulled off the sunglasses to reveal there were nothing in his eye sockets. “There, tell me now that he is not an alien!†shouted Tobey. “Okay, truth comes out now.†said Dogen. Tobey’s face shined with satisfaction because now the alien was going to reveal his identity and prove Tobey was not crazy. “Me have horrible skin problems and other health problems. In me old country, me often picked on for it. Me come to America to make friends who accept me; not be accused of being an alien by silly lunatic.†lied Dogen. “That’s a touching story, Dogen. You should be ashamed of yourself, Tobey.†said Angelica. “No it’s all lies! He’s just acting!†shouted Tobey. Yet, no one ever believed him. A week later, Tobey was talking to a psychiatrist. “I keep telling you, I donâlong here. He is an alien.†said Tobey. “Now, now there is much to discuss. These lessons are very important so you can go back to living normally with society.†said the psychiatrist. “I can’t believe it, I’ve been crazy most of my life, but now when I’m perfectly fine…I need therapy!†complained Tobey. “Could be worse.†said the psychiatrist. “How?†asked Tobey. The psychiatrist replied, “At least the Nazis didn’t get you.â€
Oh, boy it's time for another "Who hates __________" thread
Has anyone seen the British sitcom Spaced? It's made by the same people who made Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz I've only seen the first season, but it was really really funny
This one time I was walking down the street I looked at a person in a parked car and thought he was holding a gun I didn't think much of it at first, but then thought wait a minute!!! and looked back and noticed he was actually a book Has your mind ever played tricks on you?
