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Insanity and A.D.D. led to me making yet NOTHER story in the middle of me trying to complete 4 others... XD;

Thankfully, it's pretty short and didn't take as much time as I thought it would.

Anyways... Ever wonder why in my fanfics, Saix is always pretty irritable, but Xigbar seems to be his favorite chew-toy? =3 Well, here's the answer.

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

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"Initiating the New Kid"​

“…Ah, but the heart is mysterious thing. Unlocking its secrets is the reason we, as an Organization, exist. Kingdom Hearts – the center of all hearts in all worlds – is…”

The deep voice of Xemnas echoed through the plain, white room. Everyone was in their separate thrones. The newcomer was paying attention great attention to his words for fear that the Superior might give him a pop-quiz or something in the middle of his ramblings.

He glanced around a little. Am I the only one listening to this…? he wondered.

Probably.

All of the senior members seemed to be doing their own things – one was aiming at an imaginary Heartless with a purple gun, making little gun-shot sound effects, and another was picking his teeth with a very sharp looking lance. Besides those two, everyone else was dead asleep. Someone in the room was snoring.

But Xemnas plowed on, completely ignoring his rude subordinates. The new comer shook his head, and turned his attention back to Xemnas. Everyone in the room had on their hoods, beside the Superior, of course.

Finally, after about an hour of non-stop talking, the Superior paused. “And so you see, you understand why we must find Kingdom Hearts, yes?” he asked.
The new-comer nodded. “Y-Yes…” he stammered. Well… Sorta… he added in his mind.
“Good.” Xemnas smiled. “Now, I suppose it is time that I introduce you to your superiors. I am Xemnas, as you already know.” He nodded to the Nobody with the gun. “You next.”

The man snapped to attention. “Oh… Right…” He pulled down his hood, revealing two bright yellow eyes and raven-black hair tied into a pony-tail. Even though he didn’t appear THAT old at the first glance, you could see a few streaks of gray mixed in with the rest of his hair. He was probably the eldest of the Organization. “Hey… My name’s Xigbar an’… whatev…” he grumbled, indifferently. The newcomer was surprised that, instead of the deep, dark voice you might expect from his appearance, he had a “surfer dude” voice.

The man who was picking his teeth pulled down his hood, as well. He had raven black hair, also, but it was pulled into several dreadlocks – most of which were tied into some kind of ponytail at the top. He had dark violet eyes, and sideburns that seemed to wrap around his face, adding to his already stern appearance. “Hello, I am Xaldin…” he stated simply.

The other members that had been asleep before suddenly snapped awake at the sounds of the first ones’ voices, and began mumbling their introductions at the same time. Pretty soon, their words were nothing but an inscrutable jumble of “blah, blah, blah”. They were half asleep, though, so they hardly even noticed. After the noise had died down, a lone cough cut through the silence. The one named Xigbar slapped his forehead.

Xemnas rubbed his temples, sighing. “Honestly, can’t you guys show a little more decorum?” he asked.
Another indecipherable mess of words was the only answer.
Xemnas rolled his eyes. “Well, since it is obvious that you guys are not quite up to the mark yet for introductions, we will skip you all.” He turned back to the newcomer. “Tell them your name.”

Silence for a second.

“My name…” the new-comer pulled down his hood, and shook out his bright, blue hair. He looked over all of the members, his cold, golden eyes flashing.

“…is Saix.”

Xigbar raised an eyebrow. Saix? What kinda name is Saix?! he wondered, resting his face in his palm. But… Then again… What kinda name is Xigbar, anyway?

Xemnas smiled and nodded. “Congratulations, Saix. You have become the first neophyte the Organization has seen ever since its creation. Thanks to you, we are now the Organization VII.”

He turned back to the other members who had been sleeping throughout his little speech. “Now… Let’s try this again…” He pointed at one with his hood still on. “…Continuing with you.”

The man nodded, and pulled down his hood. Long strands of his blonde hair fell around his shoulders. If it weren’t for Xigbar, he’d probably be the eldest member. His dark emerald eyes seemed to be sizing Saix up. “Hello, I am Vexen, Number IV.”

Another man pulled down his hood. Saix could see, even when he was sitting down, that he was by far the tallest. He was also well-built and intimidating at first, but had a quiet demeanor. His light, brown hair was in a short, wavy style that Saix had never seen before. “My name is Lexaeus, Number V. Nice meeting you, Saix.”

Saix nodded in response, and looked at the last member. He pulled down his hood, revealing a face that was half-shrouded by his short, gray-ish blue hair. He looked like he was the youngest of all of the other Organization, but he had a mature poise around him. Well… Certainly more mature than anyone else in the room – besides the Superior of course. And, maybe, Lexaeus. “Zexion,” he stated simply.

Xigbar was staring at Saix the whole time throughout the introductions. Suddenly, he shouted, “Hey, Xemnas! I have an idea!” A sly smirk fluttered across his face. “If this is a big deal and all, ya know, with this Saix guy being the first new addition to the Organization… Why don’t we… ya know… throw a party?”
Xemnas blinked, then leaned back in his chair, considering this. “Hmmm… Actually, that is not a bad idea, Xigbar!” He looked over at Saix. “That is… If YOU are up to it, Saix…”
Saix nodded, solemnly. “I’d be honored.”
Xigbar scoffed a little at this, catching Xaldin’s eye.
Xemnas, however, didn’t notice. “Very well then! I’ll take you on your tour, Saix, and then I’ll give you all an hour to prepare. Xaldin, would you mind cooking again?”
Xaldin blinked, looking back at Xemnas. “Well, uh… No, I guess…”
“Excellent! You have my thanks.”

With that, Xemnas and Saix portalled off. Xigbar smirked, and sat back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Xaldin stared at him for a few seconds.

“That look…” he started. “I know that look… What are you up to…?”
Xigbar shrugged, still smiling that sly smile. He didn’t answer the question directly. “Mmmmm… I dunno… There’s something about this guy… I don’t like him.”
“Don’t like him…? Why not?” Lex asked.
“Something about him… About how he’s so bleak, and calm, and… and…” He shook his head. “His hair… And, and, those eyes of his… And them STUPID elf-ears—”
“ELF EARS?!” Xaldin cut in. “Xigbar, you of all people should not be bashing him because he has elf ears.”
Xigbar blinked. “Why not?”
He was promptly back-handed by Xaldin. “Because, idiot, YOU HAVE THEM, TOO!”
Xigbar rubbed the sore cheek that Xaldin had slapped him on. “Ow…” he grumbled. “Well, okay. Ya got me there… But have you seen how BORING he acts?!”
Xaldin nodded. “Just what we need… Another Lexaeus.” Lexaeus glared at him.
“He’s nothing but fresh meat,” Xaldin continued with sly grin.
Vexen smirked. “I heard that his element is the moon!”
Xigbar did a mock gasp of horror. “Oh noes! Not Sailor Moon!”

The three cracked up. “HAHA! Sailor Moon – that’s a good one!” Xaldin laughed.
“Anyways…” Xigbar continued with another smirk. “I’m thinkin’ that we should give this guy a proper Organization VII welcome, if ya know what I mean…”
Xaldin and Vexen grinned, deviously.
Zexion looked over all of them, his eyes narrowing. “Guys…” he started. “Don’t. I’m not too sure about this guy. He has an ominous aura around him…”
“Awwwe…” Xigbar cooed. “Wittle Zexxy’s a-scare-wed of teh big bad MOON MAN!” Xigbar, Xaldin, and Vexen started cracking up again.
Zexion growled. “I’m serious, guys! He may seem all calm and deadpan for now, but it’s just a ruse… I’ve seen past his little mask. Deep down inside, he is nothing but a rabid mutt, waiting to sink his teeth into some unsuspecting victim’s butt and rip himself off a big ol’ piece of @$$ flesh to gnaw on in his lair!”

Dead silence. Everyone stared at Zexion, a little thrown off by his outburst. Suddenly, Xaldin gave a wolf howl, and the three burst out laughing again.

Zexion sighed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you…” he grumbled before portalling off.
Lex watched him leave. “Uh… Guys, I think you should listen to him. Zexion’s insight has never been wrong before…”
Xigbar rolled his eyes. “As if! You ALWAYS want us to listen to Mr. Emo, Lex. Lighten up – it’ll be fun!”
Lex just shook his head, and portalled off, also.

“Ah, ignore the big monkey and the small fry…” Xigbar scoffed, waving his hand. “This is gonna be hilarious! I can just FEEL it!”
Vexen raised an eyebrow, smirking. “You still haven’t told us what you’ve got planned, Xigbar…”
Xigbar winked, grinning. “It’s a secret… What’s life without a little pizzazz, eh?” He glanced over at Xaldin. “One thing though… make sure that you make that strawberry punch Xemnas likes so much… And put lots of soda in it this time, okay?”
Xaldin blinked. “O…Kay?”
Xigbar smirked a little. “Trust me on this, guys…” he murmured as he portalled off.

Xaldin and Vexen looked at each other, shrugged, and teleported off, also.

*************​

An hour later, Xemnas was caught in yet another long, discursive speech with Saix. Saix was staring at him blankly, with a small actor’s smile plastered on his face. Maybe… if I just keep… smiling and nodding… he’ll stop… he thought in the back of his mind.

Everyone, save for Xigbar and Xaldin, was in the dining room. They all were wearing suits – Xemnas’ was completely white with a pitch-black tie, Saix’s was a midnight blue with a lighter-colored tie, Vexen was wearing a green suit with a red tie, Lex was in the traditional all-black suit, and Zexion was in an all-gray suit.

Vexen was a few chairs down the table, away from Saix and his Superior. He was sighing unhappily, and fiddling with his tie, trying to get it comfortable. Lex was across from him, doing some kind of puzzle. Zexion was way in the back, sitting across on a couch with his legs dangling carelessly off the arm. He was reading some book with his arm hanging off the other end of the chair. The room was pretty quiet, even with Xemnas’ rambling.

Suddenly, a corridor of darkness opened up in the room. “Hey, guys, sorry I’m late!” Xigbar appeared in the room with his arms crossed.

Everyone stared at him.

He blinked. “What?”

What, indeed… Xigbar had single-handedly annihilated the notion that wearing a suit makes you dressy.

He had on an all-black suit, just like Lex, but his style was very… different. He had sleeves rolled up just above his elbow, and his collar was popped all the way out. Also, his jacket was all the way unbuttoned, revealing a white shirt that was only buttoned at the top.

Xemnas looked like was going to say something, but he changed his mind quickly. “Just… Just sit down,” he sighed, shaking his head.
Xigbar shrugged, spun the nearest chair around backwards, and sat. “Hey, does anyone know where Xaldin is?” he asked, resting his chin on the backrest.
Xemnas blinked. “Well, actually, he hasn’t—”
“The refreshments are ready!”

Xaldin swept into the room, wearing a huge dark violet apron, a t-shirt, and some jeans. Not exactly dressy, but who would want to get their best clothes ruined by cooking? In his hands, he was holding a great big bowl of punch, and several glasses were being brought in by the Dusks.

“Sorry I’m late…” he started. “I had some… Uh… things that I needed to take care of…” he said, casting a weary eye towards Xigbar. Xigbar completely ignored it.
Saix looked up, happy to have a break from Xemnas’ loquaciousness. “Nice of you to join us, Number II,” he murmured, with a nod.
“Hey! I’M Number II!” Xigbar snapped.
Saix looked over at him, and arrogant expression on his face. “Oh… I, uh… Never would have guessed…” he said, staring Xigbar straight in the eye.
Xigbar’s eyes narrowed into slits. That them there are FIGHTIN’ words…
“Okay, ladies, break it up…” Vexen sighed, rolling his eyes.

Before Xigbar or Saix had a chance to pounce on the scientist, Xemnas cut in. “Hey, Xaldin, is refreshments all you made?”
Xaldin shrugged. “I… Uh… Thought that it would suit the more, uh… Elegant mood…” He rubbed the back of his head, nervously. “I mean… Uh, um…” He crossed his arms, suddenly gaining all of his composure back. “We ALL know how Xigbar gets when he’s hungry and around food…”

Xigbar blinked. “HEY!”
“Yes, I suppose you are right,” Xemnas sighed. He examined the bowl a second, then smiled. “Oh well – at least it is my favorite punch! I absolutely adore strawberry!” he exclaimed.
“Heh, heh… Yeah…” Xaldin chucked nervously, shooting another nervous glance at Xigbar. It went ignored, just as the last one was.
Xemnas rested his chin in his palm a moment, still smiling. “Well, I guess I’ll take a cup of the punch then, Xaldin.”

Xaldin nodded, and gave Xemnas a cup full of punch. Then, he began passing out cups to everyone else. By the time everyone had a drink, Xemnas’ cup was already half-way empty. To Saix’s despair, he turned around, and started talking… Again.

Xigbar took Xemnas' glass in his hands while his superior wasn't looking. He snickered to himself, and took out a bottle concealed in his coat pocket. Xaldin raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing...?” he asked as Xigbar began pouring the liquid into Xemnas' cup.
“What does it look like I'm doing...? I'm spikin' Xemmy's drink...” Xigbar whispered back.
Xaldin stared at Xigbar with wide eyes. “But... SURELY, you're not—”
“I promised a performance, right...?” Xigbar asked slyly. He stuck the bottle back in his pocket. “Well, I'll just let Xemmy here deliver for me...”

He poured in some more punch, and gave the glass back to Xemnas with an innocent smile. “Here ya go, dude! I refilled it for ya.”
Xemnas smiled. “Thank you, Number II,” he said, nodded. He took a long drink, and blinked hard, shaking his head. “Wow... This is really good...!” he exclaimed. “Nice job, Xaldin!” With that, he began speaking to Saix once more.

Xigbar smirked. “Let the games begin...” he murmured, smirking.

15 minutes later…

Xemnas smiled at Saix, his eyes half-closed. His cheeks were a little redder than normal, giving him a slightly tipsy appearance. He tried launching into another of his ramblings, but his brain was a little scrambled, so half of the time he didn't even know what he was talking about anymore.

“It is a fairly common misconception...” he started, “that you can't make windows out of brick. Most people feel that brick is too soggy... I assure you that it IS a shoe.”

He took another long drink from his cup, and continued, “Scientists have discovered that 9 out of 10 shoes are numb. This brings up the disturbing question: does coffee bleed?”

Xigbar, Vexen, and Xaldin were all huddled together, trying their best not to burst out laughing right then and there. Saix was just staring at the Superior, unsure if the Superior was really not making any sense, or if he had just been listening to his ramblings so long that he couldn't comprehend normal things anymore. Lex just stared with a face that literally read, "WTF, mate?!" Zexion kept reading, completely ignoring the insanity.

Through all of this, Xemnas continued on.

“If, in fact it does, then one must consider the possibility that all life is nothing but a giant cake mold!” Suddenly, his cheery expression darkened. “But... Instead of delicious, gooey cake batter... We are filled with...” He stopped to take another long draught of his drink, then slammed the glass on the table, snarling. A little of the drink splashed on the table. “...Raisins...” he growled out at last.

Saix blinked, unsure of what to do. “Uh… Superior, are you feeling alright...?” He asked meekly as Xemnas finished off his drink.
“PWAUGH! That’s geeeeewd!~” Xemnas sang. “Xigbar, hit me up with summore!”
Xigbar snatched the glass away faster than you could blink. “Right away, Superior!”

30 minutes later…

“AAAAUUUUGHHHH!!! PLEASE STOP!”
“C'mon, Saix! It'll be fun!” an incredibly slurred voice answered. “Ha... That rhymed...” Xemnas giggled, unaware that nothing in that sentence had really rhymed.
Saix grunted. “PLEASE! Get off!”

Xemnas was sitting on Saix's chest, pinning both of his arms down on the floor with his feet. He was holding Saix down by his neck with one arm, and in the other hand, he held a white-hot poker. The end was in the shape of an "X".

Xigbar, Xaldin, and Vexen were on the other end of the room, watching intently. They looked like they were gonna pop soon from restrained laughter. Lex and Zexion were just watching with their jaws dropped and eyes the size of watermelons.

Xemnas waved the hot poker around crazily, with a lop-sided grin on his face. “You belong to da Organuhzashun now, so we should do this so that e'eryone can know that you're one of US now!”

Saix was crying out in terror, and thrashing around as much as he could. “Please don't! PLEASE don't!!!” He felt like he was going to go CRAZY! If it were anyone else, he would have kicked in between the legs, popped ‘em in the eye, and beaten them to a pulp. But this was his first day in the Organization, and, even if it wasn’t, this was the SUPERIOR! He couldn’t do that – unless he wanted to be exterminated forever!

… Could he?

Well, he wasn’t taking any chances.

Xemnas flipped the pike forward, snapping Saix out his thoughts. “Hold still, now, Saix! This’ll only hurt for a second…”
Saix screamed again. “Oh, gawd – HELP!!! SOMEBODY, PLEASE, HELP ME!!!”

His call went unheard. Lex and Zexion were still too stunned to move. Xigbar looked over at Vexen and Xaldin, smirking. “You guys hear somethin’…?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“Nada.”
“Hm…” he shrugged. “Musta just been the wind or something…” He turned back to Saix and Xemnas, grinning wickedly. THIS’LL show you what happens when ya mess with your superiors, ya little—

Xemnas stuck out his tongue in concentration, and started edging the hot pike towards Saix’s face. “This’ll be the moment of truth… Man, I wish my mamma could see me now…!” he whispered.
Saix’s blood froze. SURELY, Xemnas wasn’t going to…

“WAAAAAUGH!!!!!! NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!!!!!!”

A few seconds later, you could hear a horrible hissing sound. And, a split second after that, a shrill scream pierced through the air like a flaming chainsaw through butter.
And, so loud it was even drowning out the scream, was deafening, rambunctious laughter.

“HE ACTUALLY DID IT!!! HE ACTUALLY DID IT!!!!!!”
“OH, THAT’S RICH!!!!!!”
“BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I can’t breathe… I can’t breathe…!”

To be continued...

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Ah-haha! You thought I was gonna make a character! Didn'tcha? DIDN'TCHA?! XD

Well, no. I'm too much of an unimaginative gay lard to do somethin' like that. At first I was gonna do Roxas, but that idea is a bit overused… So... I decided to pick on Saix, instead... XD;

Why is Xigbar the bad guy in this one? Well, before Demyx became Xiggy's apprentice in "Demyx's Aqua Pistols", this was basically how he was. But then he started hanging out with Demyx, and... Well... The nice-ness rubbed off on him. XD;

Needless to say, this is nothin' but a lame rip-off of my sis Gharanth’s fanfiction.... XD;;;;

Check it out here for the real one - not the knock-off. XD;

........ It's fun being the bad guy, though... >)

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.