What you are feeling is rather normal, but there are times when emotions should be dealt with and well, put to rest. I hated my mother at 13 years of age especially since she used to beat the hell out of me and mistreat me to the point sometimes I was taken to the hospital for stitches and other times I would just hide my wounds from others. I was so apathetic to things I had been dealing with since age 3 that I just accepted things until 13, when I became filled with rage and pondered some serious thoughts that would put an end to her and me. I don't feel it was unhealthy to do so, given the circumstances. However, it did teach me some lessons of life. My dad, who worked a lot and wasn't home for the abuse, and well, sometimes caused the strain in the first place by ticking her off and leaving when she was mad; was ever oblivious. The solution for me came that I should just stand up for myself and not accept the abuse. I went out and did things to get away from her and learned to appreciate myself more because I did have a rather sucky self-esteem at the time. What I suggest is that you understand that you have a right to be angry, but it is important to deal with that anger in the right way. You need a good solution, which basically if you are living with your own father now (if I understand things correctly), so you are already on your way to making things better. Is your brother also there with you? Maybe you should talk to him and try to work things out with him and also your dad. Bring that side of your family together more. Also, sometime you may want to talk to your mom and explain that you do not appreciate what that man did to you and your brother and let her hear it. You may have to take considerable effort with this to get her to understand in flat terms that you 'don't like the guy and feel he's ruined a lot for the family'. Your mom and dad probably had problems in their marriage for her to decide to up and leave him so I wouldn't totally blame this guy for separating your family. However, she's foolish to stay with a guy that abuses her, let alone abuses her children and ostracizes one, which is your brother. Basically, take this anger energy and try to work it in a constructive manner, which is to try to get you, your brother and dad talking and working to get over things and removing this guy from your life. Also, explaining to your mom that this guy is trash and that you do not accept him as a member of the family any longer will make her have to make some choices and see that if she wants connection to you and your brother anymore, that she leaves her baggage (him) at home when she comes to see you. I hope this helps as I've been through it and learned to turn rage into something that wouldn't wind my ass in jail quite a few times. You've been through a lot, but you can work with what you have and well, perhaps get the rest of your family on the right track and moving forward so that this idiot becomes a thing of the past. You'll have the scars to carry but also some wisdom that will be attained and you can recognize abusive men before hopefully you'd get hurt. You also probably would never let some guy abuse your future children because of it and recognize the signs. Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you. If this doesn't help you out, I would ask your father to go see a counselor because sometimes emotions like this are very hard to contend with. Whether you can resolve this yourself and family, or need some help to deal with this rage, know that you will be a stronger person if you do the right thing here.
It sucks when we get cold feet and actually like someone else a lot that is a good friend. I'm sorry you lost this girl because someone beat you to the punch. The one thing I can suggest is that next time you like a girl, try to not be so hesitant and just go ask her out on a date. It isn't cliche' or pathetic to do so. Just be prepared to hear a 'no' since well, it happens. If you can accept the possibility of being rejected and move on, then you can also be happy as hell if she accepts. That's really the key to it all is to know you can come out losing so if you can work with that, go ahead and ask a girl out you like and things will sometimes work in your favor and if they don't, you'll be ok. It will help you get over the cold feet issue. Again, sorry you lost out on this one. It sucks but is kind of a lesson to be learned. :/
Does he actually have a boyfriend? If he does, then it's the same as if he had a girlfriend, which would make him unavailable anyway. I would say that there is your biggest clue that he's not going to go out with you. However, if he's not actually dating someone, get him alone and ask him if he's at all interested in you so he can answer it. Be prepared that he may likely say no, but if that's all you need to hear to confirm things and move on, it is the right thing to do. Perhaps he will surprise you and say he is interested in going out with you but the chances are pretty slim. After all, he's gay and so he may just think of you as a really close friend. If you ask him and he says no, or if you don't and feel he'd more than likely say no because he has someone else he's interested in or with, you may want to, as Famous said, go around and meet some other people too so that you can find a boy that you would like. You have a strong two year friendship with this guy so that's cool. It's iffy if things will work out or not in your favor but if not, there are other guys out there that are good and someone will come along eventually. Whatever you do, don't be resentful of the guy or yourself. Feelings like this happen and I'd hate to see you hurt badly over something that just is the way it is. You can change your own feelings but not someone else's.
I would think it's just someone being lame. I'd probably just go to school but if you are that scared, you can obviously just stay home whether or not your teacher thinks it's serious or not. Every kid is entitled to take a couple days off now and then. Just make sure your parents are with the idea of you staying home and that they write you a note for the day after. Some people live to see the reactions of fear from others and they do this lame stuff. It most likely is harmless but seriously, if your parents will be supportive of just skipping the day, go for it.
As funny as it sounds, you might want to try getting a dvd for exercise so that you can do things indoors. There are various ones that can help with cardio and such. Or the Wii fit is an option. Some things in the house you can do though you don't seem to like them are crunchies, push ups, jumping jacks, jump rope, maybe get a punching bag or something and some weights. Another thing to try is perhaps talking to your parents about letting you go out for an hour to exercise before it gets dark so that you can ride your bike or take a run, and then you can come home and do your homework.
Basically, I have to reinforce what CtR said. The rules were always what they are now, but weren't so clearly defined out and it has to be that way. This is a site for 13 year old members on up and though we would want to help anyone, this is voluntary. We are not certified psychiatrists to deal with matters that are very serious and that we ourselves would go seek better help than on a video game forum site, were we experiencing them. I do send you my condolences and am sorry for your losses. I hope things get easier for you sometime, HJ. Hang in there.
You say that you tell some white lies to basically protect yourself. That is not that uncommon, and probably some of the people you seek to protect yourself from also use some white lies here and there. It's an ugly pattern to get caught in, but so many people, in school especially, find themselves telling fibs here and there to build themselves up. Acceptance is sought out in school because of the harsh way some people are and they can be so opinionated. The opinions of some brats basically at times seems to matter more than it should, which also gives them a sort of power over you. What I'd suggest to you is to think on why you tell these white lies in the first place. You've already done some thinking on it, but really ponder it out. Who are you trying to impress? Who are you trying to fit in with? What sorts of lies do you feel compelled to tell to protect yourself and not appear as a loser? Next, ask yourself why you feel these people's opinions matter so much to you. Understand that although some of these people feel like they are 'important' now and can make or break you, they are not always going to be there in your life. Most of these others around you, you won't really even see later after you leave school. You will move on. Maybe your life feels rather dull to others around you, but often we will think our own lives are considerably boring compared to others' lives. They may be able to do things we cannot such as going to a concert, going out to parties etc, while parents may not appreciate you doing so. So the inclination to tell a little white lie that you did something you did not to appear to fit in to that social group of friends you have does become appealing. The biggest thing is to have self-confidence and get to know yourself better. Maybe you can't do some things others do, but that does not make you a loser. It may even actually be something that saves your life in the end. Try to examine yourself and recognize the lies for what they are. Put them to the side and think on who you are and who you actually want to be. Start working on that agenda so that you can begin to mold yourself in the direction you want to go for when the school years are over. If you work on building yourself up for later, you won't be inclined to tell white lies to fit in with others because you have a plan that goes beyond this stuff. If people around you seem so cool, also realize that a good percentage of them probably also tell white lies and aren't so honest with themselves. Be different and try to feel better about yourself. Get to know the real you and you will be more proud and not feel the urge to lie. You may feel you aren't so exciting but if you give yourself plans and goals, then your life will have more meaning and direction, and you won't be held down. There also won't be a need to cover for yourself as though you have nothing going on, because you will be making things happen for yourself. I hope this helps and that you feel better about things. Maybe you can explain more perhaps on some of the lies you have told and why you said them when you did and we can investigate it more. But truly think on yourself and explore your own mind and that around you. Find what you like to study, do in your free time, and what your goals are. Then you'll have more to talk about that is real, even if you seem held back in other ways. Good luck!
Obama is a human being and therefore would be flawed. I can tell he's worked on himself though to try to be a decent person, especially in how calm and yet assertive he is. He also seems quite tolerant and accepting of views that differ from his own, and in that, he's refreshing. However, he is a politician and represents Democrats. As a senator, and now the president elect, he would have had to represent other Democrats on things even if he personally did not necessarily agree to the circumstances. I.e. say a group of Democrats wants to see something happen with a bill in the senate and he personally does not like it, but because he is representing the group that does, he must present it as he is speaking for that group. Being a representative of others means you speak for more than just yourself so sometimes it can compromise your singular view. Also, being a senator and a lawyer formerly, to make some deals with what you want to see happen, he may have had to make compromises to push things he too believed in, letting in some bad things to allow that positive thing to pass, because the senate makes deals at times. What I mean by that is say you want a law to pass about pharmacies lowering prices for the economic poor. You may also have to have some attachment added that benefits the pharmacies in some way such as another business will want some attention that has to do with pharmacies so they make money another way. It may not be wanted but the bill won't pass another way. So, I would say at times he's probably had to make compromises and agreements he might not want to get other things passed because every politician has to. I do think though he's a good guy in general and lately there have been a lot of complaints on extra benefit things to lobbyists being tossed in bills, so perhaps this sort of thing will be cut down more. Everyone has agendas though so we can expect he will have to negotiate to make some people happy that at times the rest of us would probably say they don't deserve it. Some of the senate though is relatively well bought out by lobbyists which is one of the reasons I actually liked Obama. Much of his campaign revolved around regular people donating to his campaign and not so many lobbyists could get into it, so he only owes us regular folks the favors for it. He's relatively more free to make decisions. However, he will have to still deal with a senate and congress that does have others who do their whole jobs based on what corps want so it's going to be interesting. If something did happen, and I really hope not, Biden would take his place. Palin would not even be considered, regardless of if something happened to even Biden too. She's done (thank the stars). I do wish though that people wouldn't keep thinking that Obama is going to be assassinated. I'm sure the secret service is going to do its job. It would be a rather foolish thing for someone to try to assassinate him because it will only make others stronger in opinion that racism is a very stupid thing and even 'deadly' and so racism things would really be cracked down on. Racists can learn to die out naturally or by force since more of us now are not so foolish so assassination attempts on Obama would only make things worse for them. Every president, as I've said before, is a big target. We only ever hear about the attempts on a president if they actually are out in the open. It wouldn't surprise me if GWB with his lower than low ratings, had attempts made on him and we are just oblivious.
I find that consumerism is a double-edged sword. It is beneficial to people so that they can get items they need, pay for them and the items are theirs. It is bad in that we become slaves to labor to be able to purchase these things we want if we are not careful. Also, I seriously do not like how much credit is used and how people can become slaves to that too, encouraging more work out of the person to try to pay off debt and lose something they've invested money in since if they don't pay for it all, it's not really theirs after all, even though they used the product. I think responsible consumerism is the answer and more people ought to be taught that credit should only be used when it is necessary, and they be reminded that the item, no matter how much they put into it, until it is paid off, it is not truly theirs. Someone else owns it and can take it away so it is important that if credit is a necessity, the item is paid off for as soon as possible. Also, I think more people need taught the rules of consumerism so they are not screwed over so easily and taken advantage of by corporations offering 'easy outs' that are never so easy after all. It is basically our responsibility as individuals to learn the system whether it is taught to us or not. We have to know what we are getting into and always read between the lines and see the small print. Also, know where imports and such come from, do things that are reasonable with purchases and if you have a job, work well to keep it going as long as you can stand for what the work does. Don't get jobs that you know are questionable in integrity such as telemarketing and sales of items that you would yourself have no will to buy. These kinds of things can help us in the end to feel good about ourselves and also reduce our debts. Consumerism is all about commonsense on the level of the consumers. We can control businesses better if we all don't let them trick us with hokey deals and let them mess up our lives with a ton of credit over our heads. We also have to be smart and save money early on to stay out of debt as much as possible. Parents saving up for kids' college early, kids saving up for cars early etc can help in this. If we aren't careful though, consumerism is very harmful, so this is why I say it is a double-edged sword. We can either make out well with it or we can be seriously wounded.
Obama did receive some votes for 'being black', no doubt. He also -lost- considerable votes because he's black. In the end, that measures out to being not so darn significant. A majority of Blacks also have been a part of the Democratic party for -years- so trying to say they all voted for Obama just because he's black is pointless. They also steered very heavily towards Clinton, often joking he was the first black president as he talked with many blacks and was down to earth with them. Many republicans did not like Clinton even early on because of his demeanor and being amiable to the younger voters. Now, on the same note: People voted for McCain because of the lies in saying Obama was a terrorist, he's 'Muslin', an Arab, he's black. Fox News went so far as to say some of the worst things around and I am constantly reminded of how out of touch some republicans are that they do not know what a fist bump is and instead label it a 'terrorist fist jab'. Obama had many people voting superficially for him AND against him. For the rest of us who actually did study both candidates and voted for the man we believed would do the best and fell into our pattern of thoughts on the direction for the country, I find it rude that people keep going back to this other crap. Obama won because a majority of us who are educated and study politics and the world around us -do care- about the state of things now and want things altered. Also, Obama was cool and collected throughout the campaign, never really getting super angry. He showed a strength that even Bill O'Reilly said was there and he was not so wishy washy as people were led on to think by 3 am phone call ads and Palin's stupidity comments. He showed you can be tough and resilient without having to be a person that yells and grits his teeth all the time. How refreshing. Also, Biden was picked because he has more overseas experience than Obama and it filled in a spot in his resume people were worried about. What the hell good was Palin? Had McCain actually chosen Condi Rice or some other woman with some sensibility, he would have faired better. Blame the VP choice he made. It really is where he began to fail. People that voted for McCain agree with McCain's policies. Were some people voting for either candidate for superficial reasons such as 'race'? Yes, but I think it quite demeaning to say that a lot of people were when so much is at stake and most people I talk to who voted for Obama or McCain in college are actually pretty smart about it. Other friends are too. I may not agree with McCain's policies and definitely not his VP choice, but I don't hate the guy at all and am glad he will be sticking around as a senator. Being angry at black voters for Obama getting his position, it's stupid. It's as stupid as if McCain had won for us to say it was done out of race too, even though we -KNOW- there are people who hate black people and said so and some at Palin's rallies who were just ultimate idiots. Give it a rest.
DS is George Bush... wow, everything becomes so clear suddenly.
All our votes are gone.
*nomnoms on popcorn* Yo people!
I ate a jellybean.
* picks up GI Joe dolls with ketchup on them and throws them away. * Righteo.
* looks at Black Butler's posts.* He has to work harder than this to get banned.
I am Iron Man. I also was going to put up Batman, but well, someone else can do that.
I wish I was there. bonfires rule. Firecrackers too.
It's about the 5th of November.
It was worth a try. Anyway, I'm so watching V for Vendetta when I get home from going to a college movie thing.
