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please hurry up and get your songs in.

thanks everyone. i will finish the current ones pending.

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"I honestly don't know,"

Of course she didn't. She didn't know because there was no reason. She was just asking to ask. Probably just to be nosy and dig up even more dirt on her. She hated people like that, she really did. They were all terrible people. Every single one of them. Anger like she hadn't felt in a while started to build up inside of her stomach, and then her chest. Her eyes felt so tired. She was so sick of the bull--!

"Because I think we're more alike then we both want to believe."

...Oh? Oh. She had come to the same conclusion earlier, but she wasn't going to say anything. How awkward. She was immensely uncomfortable, but the anger was completely dead now. There was nothing but confusion, and a little bit of pride, and a lot of discomfort. She wondered what it meant when someone's words affected her so much. Did it mean she cared? Or did they just hit a button? Well, regardless, Temperance wasn't going to get her down that easily.

She was tired of the break downs. She was so much stronger than she had been behaving since the email. Temperance was just a bitch, using her, trying to find a way to hurt her. Madeline wouldn't let her. Nope. Not today, Temperbitch. ...And then she touched her again.

DANGER!! DANGER!! Madeline flinched, seconds from acting on her compulsion to throw the girl away from her. What the hell was she doing?! What...was...this? She's...? It was a hug. A gentle, non-violent, rather warm hug. But why? Did she feel bad for her? Temperance...She must have pitied her. Found her pathetic, like a child.

But the hug didn't seem malicious at all. It was soft. It was comforting. Right here in the hall for Bellhurst, a hug between Temperance Spike and Madeline Moore. They hated each other. Right now, though, Madeline couldn't find any traces of that hate. Just a flood of emotions bursting forth in the form of another sob fest; tears falling uncontrollably, fingers shaking as she hesitantly returned the hug and comfort.

The world was ending. This was the coming of an apocalypse. A storm. There was no other way things were changing so fast and so quickly and so strangely. There was no other way she would be hugging this girl right now. No, this was a sign. It had to be.

Temperance let go and Madeline did the same, taking a step back and diverting her eyes. Her face was burning, but what could she do? She half expected the cheerleader to whip out a knife and literally stab her in the back during their embrace, but she seemed alive enough.

" ...Thank you." How exhausting. These emotions. "I want to go back to my room, but..."

She pulled her phone out and showed Temperance her new number. "You don't have to add it, but if you do, I'll text you what happened...I need sleep."

Still refusing to make eye contact, Madeline sniffled and moved past Temperance, heading straight to her and Quin's room and then to then directly shower without interruption.

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She was tired. She was tired and worried and cold again. She knew she looked like a trainwreck, so her main priority was making it back to that bathroom she had found earlier to wipe her face and brush her hair, just in case Quin was back in their room. Despite her previous and lingering excitement, she was feeling more and more like she should attempt to get another room alone. She didn't want to hurt her, and she wasn't sure if it would, but she wanted to be alone. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hide away and lock down for a little bit. Most of all, she wanted Thomas to answer her. She wanted to repent. She needed to recover, and she felt panicked at the thought of having no time to.

Her eyes vision was blurring again, so she wiped her eyes frantically and distracted herself by whipping her phone out and checking her Tumblr post. Absolutely no notes at all. She was stupid for attempting to converse with everyone else. No one cared. No one cared at all, and neither should she. She shouldn't give one single fuck.

"Hey Madeline...are you...umm...Are you okay? I mean clearly you're not okay, but yeah..."

Why? Why couldn't she find a moment of peace. She lifted her eyes, suddenly very much on the defensive. Of all people, it was Temperance--again. She didn't seem to be able to escape her lately, and she kept touching her. It was annoying. It was annoying that someone was always bumping into her asking what was wrong. It was annoying that something was always wrong--and that nothing went right--and that there was nothing she could do. It was annoying that so many people and things had more control over her life than she did. That she cried so often, and that it hurt so much. All of it...

"You don't care. Why would you care?" She sniffed. She could feel the tears building, but she somehow managed to hold back. Temperance didn't look that good herself. She looked tired, somehow. She lowered the dosage of venom in her words, just a bit. "Why are you asking?"

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His words sunk in quickly as she realized what he was asking of her. At first, she had thought that he must have just been a very lonely person to only require friendship of her, but then--as he leaned in closer and continued, she put the pieces together. Friends with benefits? Was he joking? He must have been out of his fucking mind. There would be no benefit for her at all...! ...Well, okay, honestly, it had been oddly pleasurable for them both...BAH, no! She had enough men to sleep with, adding this hypocritical psychopath to the mix without pay, even, that would just be a waste of her time. She would be the one paying him for his silence and that was just not going to happen.

His silence... He wouldn't really tell, would he? Surely the Christian thing wasn't a total lie. He must have had some kindness in his heart. Some mercy. Perhaps she could milk that--but she really wasn't in the position or mood at the moment to be manipulative. Instead, she threw her scarf on and shoved her hat over her head. She was sniffling now, as opposed to full blown sobs, and she refused to look him in his weirdly colored eyes.

"Let me just...Think." She muttered. Her heart felt heavy. She stood up and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, smearing forgotten mascara into the white fabric. Madeline made sure she had snatched up his payment before scurrying to the door and back out into the halls.

Everyone is accepted.

This is day 2/3.

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Holy fucking shit--NO. IT WAS JOE--JOAN--JONAS--WAIT--

"JOHN!?"
No. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO . NO.

...DON'T SAY HIS NAME, YOU IDIOT, HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU!! OH MY GOD! WHY?!

It was too late. Much too late. She was gaping, which turned into a sort of stop-and-go panicked screaming of some kind, which turned into hysterical whimpering as she violently ripped her sheets off and got dressed quicker than she ever had before. Strangers were fine, but this guy...Wait, he was total a hypocrite! Super Christian her ass! But there was no doubt that he'd tell...He would tell everyone. He would never pass on an opportunity to judge someone! Someone like her...She knew for a fact that John, as a male, would undoubtedly be forgiven in the eyes of her peers much easier than she ever would...Unless she called rape.

She couldn't do that. She couldn't stand the thought of playing rape victim for the rest of her days (there weren't a lot left). She couldn't stand anything. She looked at him, straight in the eyes, and stumbled back into a wall. They had...They had done it. They had really...They had gone...With HIM though? Why him...Why couldn't it be...

No, she couldn't do this. The shame...the ridicule...Nope, nope, nope.

She stood up, green eyes scanning the room wildly for something, anything. Thomas, I think I'm ready now. I can't.

No response? Why...?

...Was he angry with her? Jealous? Disgusted? Hurt? God DAMN why wasn't there anything sharp in the room?!

Suddenly, tears. She was sobbing. Disbelief and shame consumed her.

"P-please don't tell! Don't tell! Don't tell, don't tell, please, please."

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"You don't have many friends, do you?"

Her eyes glared daggers into the skull of this man, imagining a spray of blood to follow (it didn't). Asshole. ... ... Not that he was... wrong...She shook her head, pulling herself up and leaning her back against the head board of the bed. She stretched and yawned softly. Making sure to fix her attitude before she spoke again.

"Well, it's your choice. Now... my payment, please?"

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These men. So easy. She wanted to be sarcastic about it. 'Oh, you poor baby! No friends, woe is you!' What a whiny little bitch. The least he could do was be depressed about something that actually mattered. He was just pissed about a friend moving on and getting over him, but she was dealing with a goddamned survival game. It was almost enough to sour her mood, but not quite. Instead, she sighed softly--a compassionate sigh--and leaned her cheek against the stranger's warm shoulder.

"Have you considered making more friends? I know it's cliche, but this guy...He's not the only one out there." How gay. "You just have to get yourself out there and meet some new people...And believe me, the good feeling you'll get from these sorts of things will start to wear down after a while. You don't want to get caught up in...well, this, if you can help it. I think you should deal with the problem at the source. You should talk to your friend and ask him what's up. If he doesn't give you an answer, or it's one you don't like, then fuck him. He's not worth it anyway. You most likely deserve better than that."

She shrugged, planting a kiss on his collarbone with a false tenderness.

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【WEARING • LATEST TUMBLR UPDATE • OOC: i think we're okay now】​

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She turned her head to face him in the darkness. Her eyes had adjusted a bit more and she could see his chest rise and fall. She pulled the sheet up to her chin and sighed softly. A moment to recover. Right. He just wanted her to be with him for a bit longer. She had heard this before. It made her wonder, though...Her clients usually paid extra if she listened to a bit of their whining and moaning. She needed as much cash as she could get. She was planning on getting something special from the gift shop later.

"Something on your mind?" She inquired sweetly, rolling onto her side and curling against his own. It was weird. She felt energized and rejuvenated somehow. She usually felt drained and disgusting with herself. She hoped this feeling would last.

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【WEARING • LATEST TUMBLR UPDATE • OOC: Whoa, kids, whoa. Mature warning for the few posts ahead. Please don't read if you're heavily affected by the secks or if you are a baby, thanks.】​

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The gentleness didn't last for long. Before she knew it, he had taken full control. She had gone from above him to underneath him in a matter of minutes, fully unclothed. He was strange. His kisses and caresses felt desperate and primal. It almost frightened her how quickly he had changed from soft and tender to the complete opposite. The cold from earlier had long since left her body. Everything was much too hot. She tried to stay submissive and quiet, since that seemed to be what he wanted now, but she couldn't help herself from kicking the blankets from on top of them and taking in a soft gasp of cool air.

Her toes curled and a tender whimper escaped her bruising lips. Why was he so ...passionate? Why was he so eager? He didn't know her. They were strangers...but the way he was "loving" her. It felt different. It was disturbing and disruptive to her usual trance. She felt conflicted... doing something as disgusting and shameful as this had never felt so good. It was almost like a fake love-making. Not fucking. Passionate, raw, love making. She felt like she meant something to this stranger...She imagined in detail what this would feel like if she actually did, and the thoughts paired with his clearly practiced actions sent her over the edge and beyond.

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Wow, that was excellent. She had never done...that before. Who was this guy? He must have been an adult. He seemed too experienced. His voice was a bit young, though, and from their closeness, she could tell that he didn't have very much facial hair at all...Not that that was a requirement for older men, but still. She was at his side now, trying with embarrassment to control her breathing. She gathered the sheet from the end of the bed up and over her, tempted to sleep but knowing she had to shower and meet Quin soon.

"Tha..." She was genuinely about to thank him for the pleasure, but she held her tongue. Her pride hadn't fallen that low. "...That's that. The rest of the money now, please."

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【WEARING • LATEST TUMBLR UPDATE • OOC: Whoa, kids, whoa. Mature warning for the few posts ahead. Please don't read if you're heavily affected by the secks or if you are a baby, thanks.】​

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God, his hands were warm. This guy...Was he a virgin? He was being so gentle so far... She wasn't sure what to make of it, though the she was very pleased. He seemed almost scared, as if he were going to break her or something. This must have been his first time, unless he just didn't find her...appealing (not that they could see each other)...In which case he could go fuck himself instead of fucking her.

She was pulled closer to him and she scrunched up her nose. He smelled like cigarettes and paint--or some kind of cleaner, but nothing else, really. Nothing that bad. Her cheek slid past his as he pulled her even closer, nicotine breath tickling her ear. The familiar dream-like state took over and she closed her eyes. This is when she entered a different consciousness, almost...When she stopped thinking about her feelings, or her body, or her shame. She locked Reuben and her mother and Thomas and Uncle Reed and her cat and her father and Crestatia or whatever/whoever else was plaguing her, away, deep, deep inside.

This was work. She was here for a reason, and she was lucky to have gotten someone so timid and careful. It was cute, almost.

Madeline's eyes reopened and she slipped her hand out of his, reaching up to pull her scarf and ear muffs away, setting them beside them. She pulled her gloves off, freeing her fingers and dragging them down the stranger's clothed chest. This man...He would likely be satisfied by just a bit of fooling around. He didn't seem like he'd pack much of a punch, but that was okay. It was quicker this way. More efficient.

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She was rushing. She didn't want whoever this guy...or girl was to text Reuben back stating that she hadn't shown up. Reuben was strange when he was angry. She didn't like him very much at all, then. She sighed gently. If only everyone around her had remained consistent. If only no one snapped, or changed without warning...Or screamed, or hit, or blamed. If only, if only.

She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, grateful that there was a normal public restroom on the floor. She reached into her bag and applied a bit of red color to her lips, mashing them together and leaning closer into the mirror to reapply her foundation--including a dab of blush this time along her cheekbones, and two thin lines of mascara under her eyes to make them 'pop'. She didn't want to look like a clown, and over the years she had learned how to properly apply make up. It still looked natural, but she looked a bit more...defined now.

She pushed her bangs out of her eyes and to the left side of her face, drawing more attention to the right. She liked that side best. Then, she combed through her hair with her nails.

Satisfied, she drew back from the mirror and left the bathroom, heading straight down the hall to room 347. If it was on this floor...then was this person from Bellhurst? That was dumb. What high schooler would call for a...a whore. Is that what she was? Maybe it was one of the parents...She felt cold suddenly and tilted her chin downward into her scarf. Reuben had texted back stating that the door was left open for her, so when she reached the room, she twisted the bronze handle of the door knob and entered.

Holy hell it was dark in here! She hoped that her 'client' wasn't a Satanist or something. Reuben generally had pretty tame friends, though, and he wouldn't put her in danger. She trusted that much. Madeline turned around and locked the door, removing her boots.

This room was much like her own, but it had a bit more modern twist to it. She wondered why. Was this customer important? Did they have a special room? Were they rich? She hoped so. She would have to make this really worth it. She tilted her head, noticing the stand shape that seemed to be under the blankets already. She wondered how to go about this. Did they just want to get right into it? Or...should she play around first? She suddenly felt very shy and nervous, but this was normal.

Yes, this was normal for her.

She took a timid step towards the bed and, upon noticing no protest, sat down. Her breathing was a tad shaky, but she hoped...he(?) wouldn't notice.

"Hello, you can call me...Whatever you'd like. " Ahaha, she just couldn't think of a name that didn't make her nauseous. Reuben referred to her as 'Precious' but she didn't like that, because it reminded her of that fat black woman from the movie. "Ben tells me you already paid half...Once we're through, I'll ask for the rest, Okay?"

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With a soft, tired sigh, Madeline stepped further into the room and made sure the door to their room was locked. She felt a bit more at ease knowing Quin actually wanted her there...She seemed a lot better at being honest than Madeline was. She both admired and envied that, like most things with Quin. However, that honesty didn't take away from the nervousness in her own stomach. Yes, there were two beds, but she was sharing an entire room with her. Just Quin and M. It made her feel very...vulnerable, almost. Almost sick. But she was happy. She was relieved and happy. Quin was the reason she had come, after all. What sense would it be to push her away, now?

" Wh - What will you do . . . ? "

Why was she stuttering? She wasn't...nervous, was she? Could she be? Possibly?

This was way too much for Madeline's heart to handle. She took another breath to calm herself and to take away from the awkwardness, she pretended like she was scoping out the room and learning where everything was--which she was doing, but with major distraction.

"I would like to go down to the hotsprings eventually...When it gets a bit darker. Until then..."

Her phone buzzed just as she was about to shyly offer accompany Quin. She stared at the bright screen of her smartphone with a scowl.

What the fuck? Did he...send someone there for her? Her heart started drumming rapidly in her chest again. She was pretty sure that it was going to give out on her soon. Why here? Why now? Why today? Why this?

She hastily texted back and then glanced at Quin. Shame. This was stupid. She shouldn't be getting wrapped up in her feelings. She wasn't good enough for Quin, not in the slightest. They were completely different people and Quin...She deserved someone like Churbo or Tyrone.

"I have some stuff to do, I'm sorry. But we should meet at the hotsprings soon!" She couldn't hide the excitement towards the end. "I'm... sorry, Quintus. Please stay safe, though. Don't die."

She smiled, but she wasn't joking. She turned and left the room quickly.

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She had fallen asleep during the bus ride to Trembling Mountain, but Simon had woken her as soon as the bus parked. Eleanora loved bus rides...and train rides...and plane rides. The gentle hum of travel always seemed to bring her some kind of comfort. She was grateful that her big brother was always there to wake her up when she needed it. A witch needed lots of rest, after all. ​

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The lobby to the resort was full of people, and it made her nervous. She clutched the handle of her umbrella tighter and clung with her free hand to a duffle bag that Simon carried as he checked them both in for a two day stay. The man at the front desk smiled at her politely when their eyes met and she turned away, flustered. Direct eye contact with mortals was to be avoided. She wouldn't want to hurt anyone. Her heart was racing in almost as quickly as Moondrop's did when given catnip, so she decided to just avoid looking at the people around her. Their voices were still there, though, and they were loud. ​

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The journey to their temporary living quarters was a long and tiresome one. The ride in the elevator was cramped and a bit uncomfortable, but she managed. Simon led her quietly through the hall of the third floor and to her room. The room was large, with two separate 'beds' and some of those delicious complimentary chocolates on the pillowcases along with something else. She helped Simon unpack everything and slipped off her shoes. This room...it was strange to her. Well, different than she had expected. It wasn't like the hotels she had been in before. She liked it, though. It gave her a positive energy. ​

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xxxxxxxxxxxxxx❝I am going to go get some lunch. We'll head to the hotsprings later. Are you hungry?❞

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She shook her head slowly. It was a white lie, of course, because she hadn't eaten anything since much earlier, but she could wait until dinner. She wanted to spend some time alone exploring this new place! Simon accepted her answer and left the room, leaving her time to unpack her things. Within a about fifteen minutes, the room was covered in charms and protective seals. ​

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Just in case. ​

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" . . . Madeline. . .This is . . . your room, as well . . . ?"

She was just turning around when she heard Quin's voice. A few things happened at this point. Her face went completely white, her shoulders dropped, her head spun, and her stomach flipped. She had just gotten through writing a rather uncharacteristic Tumblr post, hoping to subtly lure Quin out into the open and find her when they got to the springs, but it seemed that she was already here. Where they sharing a room? She had been genuinely looking forward to a little alone time...but a bit of time with Quin.

This was bad. This was absolutely terrible. These feelings...They weren't just normal feelings. They weren't the type of feelings you get from being in a friendship, even a best friendship--she had learned that from books and movies. No, these were dangerous feelings. These were the feelings that caused problems. These were the feelings that killed Thomas. No. Why? Why...? What could she do? Was it too late? Were these feelings...okay? As long as she didn't act on them...As long as she didn't say anything...They were okay, right? Right?

She needed to know. It was becoming more and more essential to figure out how to summon Crestatia.

"Aah, Quin," she turned around finally and smiled briefly. "I'm sorry. The man gave me the key for this room...Could have been a mistake. I can request another room, if you want."

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She was happy to have made it, but also a little uncomfortable. She noticed Temperance putting her bag down, but she didn't let herself succumb to the pressure of sitting there. She was under no obligations, and it would honestly be really strange and awkward for the both of them. Instead she continued down the aisle, heading closer to the back of the shuttle bus, and taking a comfortable seat by the window. She regretted not packing anything extra, but she hadn't expected to go anywhere. She had her money, though, so...Though...That wouldn't last forever.

She sighed. Why couldn't she have been born to a rich family? She wondered how much better her life would have been, had there been money in it. She knew money couldn't buy happiness...but it could buy a lot of the things that would result in that happiness. If she had money...she would be able to stop all of this. The car thing wouldn't have even matter. She wondered about her father and how he was doing financially, and then she wondered about Uncle Reed.

"Ack..." She leaned her head back on the seat and took a deep calming breath.

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When they arrived at Trembling Mountains, she left the bus without another word to Temperance and headed straight to the check in desk. They directed her up to the third floor and gave her the key to her room. She felt a little excited now. It would be really nice to have some alone time up there. Maybe if she spent most of her time in her room, she could avoid the inevitable deaths. Suddenly her excitement to be alone turned into an excitement to see a certain someone, which transformed into a familiar guilt and feeling of shame.

By the time she reached her room, she was as calm and quiet as ever. She unlocked the door and entered, breathing in the scent of a freshly cleaned hotel room. Such a step up from Reuben's place. It was nice. She wasn't sure why there were two beds, but no matter. She entered the room, closing and locking the door. She wished she had Quin's number. Maybe a Tumblr message?

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"This...everyone's going to trembling mountain. I could care less if you come...but..."

What the actual fuck. Why was everyone going? That sounded like suicide. Why was everyone so stupid? Granted, she had been one of the instigators in the past...But that was before the very obvious trend. When they're together, someone dies. Simple as that. It would be better to stay far, far apart and try to follow the rules as closely as possible.

"I won't tell anyone. You're business is you're business. And my business is my business. It's between us. It'll stay that way, but anyway...Brian sent everyone a text. They're all going to the hot springs and we would probably look pretty stupid if we're the only ones that don't go."

She relaxed, understanding. If she didn't tell, neither would Temperance. That was good, then. It took a lot of stress off of her shoulders and made her feel a bit more at ease here, despite the circumstances. She didn't completely trust Temperance, but she have something to lose as well--making her more likely to keep her word. It was the best she was going to get. She flinched when Temperance grabbed her arm and continued. ...She didn't like that she had done that, but this wasn't the time to start a fight. Maybe later.

"You don't have to go, but it might be nice. I'm sure you're girlfriend is going to."

Oh boy. Her face. Her heart. Her soul. She wanted to hide, but forced herself to keep her cool. Suddenly, the hot springs didn't sound so bad, she couldn't deny that. Besides, the image of Quin outstretched and open for that arrow...It still hadn't faded. If something were to happen and Madeline wasn't even there...

"I...guess we should go, then." Her voice was hoarse, so she cleared her throat and followed after Temperance. Her face was so hot she couldn't even feel the cold anymore. As she followed the cheerleader, she whipped out her cell phone and sent a quick text to Reuben.

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❝I nu lud weld du ru--I do not want to go.❞

Simon was not having it though. He was certain that if she got out of the house and met some new people, the quiet grieving over Moondrop would end and the sadness in her heart would finally fade. Eleanora, however, was an extremely private witch. She did not have anything against mortals, but they often did not understand her. They would make fun of her. She pitied the bullies more than anything, because she knew that the only reason they did it was because they didn't believe in magic--and therefore could not be aided and blessed by it in the way she had been. ...But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. She didn't want to go to such a public place...So many of her schoolmates would be there, and it was a hotsprings! She was expected to be...INDECENT around them, on top of everything else! ​

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With the thought, she whimpered and pushed harder against Simon. He held his ground though, turning his head to apologize to the small crowd of people behind them and squeezing his fingers into her shoulders. She refused to step onto the shuttle! Positively refused. There was nothing her big brother could say or do to convince her otherwise. She readied her umbrella, preparing to open it and use force to push Simon back and out of the line.​

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xxxxxxx❝Please, Eleanora.❞​

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Her lip quivered and her shoulders slouched. What a shameless tactic...She lifted her eyes, gazing back at the clearly annoyed people she was holding up. Her cheeks burned. ​

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xxxxxxx❝Think of this as a quest. Maybe you can use the water from the springs for some kind of...potion, or something?❞​

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His voice dropped towards the end, but it was still enough to energize her. Maybe she could find some ingredients for her spells! Hotsprings had wondrous healing properties. Maybe she could even...She shook her head. That was black magic. No matter what she gathered on this adventure, she absolutely could not allow herself to attempt to bring Moondrop back. She wasn't skilled enough anyway. Even so... She nodded and waved apologetically at the people behind them, taking a deep breath. Simon smiled and ruffled her hair. ​

xxxxxxx❝Good girl. Come on, now.❞​

She held her closed umbrella close and stepped onto the shuttle with and exhausted Simon following after her.​

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