What the fuck?
A friend of mine wrote one about how a bill becomes a law. It actually was rather epic.
I need to learn how to act that stupid. I'm close, but I've hit a wall, you know?
That would be nice.
Commit it to memory you computer robot detective you.
You should have changed your name to Justice. No last name, no first name, only Justice.
Yes, and I disagree. I like it enough, but it's just your quintessential shonen manga. Fight, get stronger, super mode, level up, all of that is just a bit tiring someimes. It's easily more than twenty times better than either Bleach or Naruto, but that's just too easy at present. It's entertaining enough to waste time with while waiting for something really cool to show up.
I guess it's nice, the feeling you were going for but it's very restricted to a certain age group to begin with and I seem to notice a few spelling and punctuation and grammar errors. "clothing's" That's wrong in your context. the possessive apostrophe isn't needed here since it's pluralization you're aiming for. These are the kinds of things you need to look out for. "After, I'll be called groups" Also wrong. It took me a second to fgure out you were trying to say 'calling' rather than 'called'. Spell check is a crutch, edit it yourself if you want it to turn out correctly.
No, just no. You have a weird idea going here, and I'd accept it under two conditions, if I liked the writing and if it were consistent with itself. The writing is just a bit off to me, I understand it's train of thought first person, but it doesn't excuse the fact that it's not clearly conveying a message. This leads into my real problem with this. You say that being mentally superior to a human by default implies phyical superiority. Wrong. You also have several other parts that are self contradictory and unclear. Make sure others can understand you when you write anything down. Otherwise, this isn't a broken story.
I actually like the kinda disjointed and broken feeling that this evokes. You should work to keep yourself from going too far from the rules of grammar, but it's a nice use of something like that to get a point across. It's not bad at all.
Cliche. It's a bit cliche and copy pasted feeling. Amaterasu as interpreted in Okami, combined with the ideas of being brought back to life as a non-human entity, being the average girl, being a new god, and to top it off dragons. This is just a lot of ripped, used, and played out ideas stuck together. As you can tell I find your premise depressingly mundane and trite, but there is hope. I'd suggest a rework of this that does not so heavily rely on the factors I mentioned above. You can keep the groundwork idea but you will have to change it a bit to make it your own rather than a fanfic-like entity. This may take more effort than you are willing to put into a hbby and I understand that. Make what you like of it, you can choose to disregard my comments if it so suits you.
Here I was ready to give up my nit picky ways. Well, you need to be sure you know who you're talking about when you write. "her small figure crashing into mine" Does the speaker also have a small figure? This sentence doesn't imply that but it doesn't say it couldn't be true either. Be specific. Next is diction. Is figure the word you want to use? Form, frame, body, any other number of words could also fit there. Just be sure you are using what sounds best, I doin't think that was a bad choice but it is a good thing to think about since you didn't seem to do much editing. Also, you want a certain level of realism in this. It's not superficially logical that a new recruit that has no combat experience would be protecting key points, think about trying to study up a bit on what you write. I am probably wrong but it never hurts to know you are in fact correct. It's rather short, but it does tell what it needs to so that's a plus. I realy have nothing more specific to say. Any problems you may have here can be fixed with practice.
Whatever, just post the rest of it. No one looks on this part of the site anyways.
Okay. If you need me to say it explicitly. You have a 2 and a 1 in front of zeroes in your last step. You say you can nix the zeroes that are multiplying the 1 and 2. The 2 and 1 shouldn't even be there because it's proven that the two are 0=0 the step before meaning it's over there. That's what I said last time. So 0=0 =/= 1=2. Is that specific enough?
Hand looks wrong. I prefer a cleaner line, but this is undeniably good, especially for a colored piece.
The heads and eyes do not fit the style of the series at all, not that it matters. You pretty much have generic head shapes and eyes that you applied to every character involved. I have no serious problems with it as a drawing, except that it looks like you are inexperienced with the universal face and all. For something done rather quickly it's pretty good but I don't like the style choices you've made overall.
Pretty decent. Not too much I can say is specifically wrong. Since you're copying, the creative element is a moot and the imitation is pretty well done for a pencil sketch. No complaints.
I'll bite you to death.
Interesting. I can't say it did much for me because of some of the layout decisions, but it's a good concept in my opinion.
Coca Cola, sometimes war.
