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I'll bite you to death.

Okay, I can't remember any other coherent sounding lines from the song. Oh, and you were right.

Wine lasts longer when you don't have to share with someone.

All I know is steak tastes better when I take my steak tastes better pills.

The first one is the best. I like the design aesthetic and lack of prominent technical error. The others are a bit out of my taste and I'd prefer not to deal with them.

You seem to be making a lot of only a few people getting name changes. It's not like it's a moral failing to think your old name you just picked five minutes ago is too noobish.

Skip town and change your name to Frodo Baggins.

I know the skirt sucks. I suppose it's a good comparison you have here but for me I just have to practice practice practice for things to work.

You've got Geass on the brain and you've become accustomed to thinking of it when you see my stuff. My style really looks nothing like theirs in the last few I've done.

Top of the spamzone, you know with all the other stickies.

He's telling the truth too.

Sorry, but that only makes this kind of thing all the more apt when I think about it.

Fight valiantly Deadmeat, fight valiantly.

Legal in Cambodia is good enough for me.

Keep your dick weight up. =D

Bondage rape.

So here I am again with my latest update. I'm starting to struggle with this here, oh the irony. I'd also like to say that I hope I never have to write another fight scene as long as I live. That aside, I think this one is either pretty good or an absolute flop, tell me how it goes. I apologize for my grammar errors, seriously, just tell me what's wrong and I'll try to fix it.



Door 15: Epitaph

Daniels awoke in darkness, not complete darkness but close enough to it. At first he believed it to be night, then a breeze crossed through the room disturbing a curtain enough to allow a thin strand of light to cross the decrepit chamber. The man found himself suddenly lifted from his darkened haze and into an old stone chamber, cramped and stiflingly hot in spite of the shade and there was a faint scent of blood on the air. He tried to sit up when it came back to him, the sharp jolt of pain from beneath his bandages reminded him that he’d won, through searing pain and dizzying fatigue, he’d managed to defeat Strato Vercingetorix; the man who’d spared his life ten years before, the man who left a mark of shame on his back, and the man who’d taught him his first lessons of combat.

Daniels rested his head back down upon what he realized were the ragged folds of his coat and let his head fall to the side. He saw Callum sitting in a corner of the room with his right leg lying straight out, his arms wrapped around his left leg and his head tilted forwards just enough to conceal his eyes. No sooner than the blonde had looked did the object of his focus look back. Callum raised his chin enough to view the small room with alert eyes. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but shut it again without uttering a word. He dropped his head back down and pretended to sleep as well.

Daniels welcomed the silence, his companion upheld, conversation would lead to questions and discussion, neither of which were within the gunman’s capabilities at the time. With one last look at his temporary caretaker Daniels drifted back into his slumber, back to dreams of echoes and shadows that mirrored reality in twisted grotesque forms, back to the dreams where he could replay his life through another lens, and back to the dreams that no longer held inevitable defeat.


The next time the man awoke it was to an unrelenting stream of stinging sunlight flowing through the door that no longer sported the dark heavy curtain and the shadowed silhouette of his younger comrade, his thin frame blocking only a similarly thin patch of the sun‘s harsh rays. Daniels sat up wincing, but not pausing; he lifted a sore arm to shield his eyes. Callum smirked in satisfaction, when he saw the man move with relative ease. Daniels almost half smiled in return and broke the seal on his world of silence.

“How long was I out?†Daniels asked groggily as he tested his shaky limbs in the partly brightened chamber. His arms and legs were sore from injuries and overuse, but the heavy ache of his chest where he’d been slashed multiple times was by far the worst.

“A night and half a day. Good job.†Callum replied with an ambiguous mixture of sarcasm and encouragement. Daniels could only just see the boys relieved looking face against the sharp contrast of light and dark.

“I see.†He paused and collected his thoughts for several seconds before looking to Callum again. “I won?â€

“Yeah. Speaking of that guy…†The black haired boy trailed off awkwardly. He shifted his feet around causing his shadow to dance about the sun bathed strip.

“Yeah?†Daniels inquired insistently, holding up a hand against the flicking light.

“What’re we going to do with the body?†Callum asked, attempting to be as diplomatic as he possibly could be.

“Bury it.†Daniels answered almost instantly. The answer seemed rushed at first, but it suddenly became clear that the man planned on it since he had time to think of it at all.

“Really?†Callum stated more as a pleasantry than a question. He was no longer making restless movements, but he’d taken on an uncharacteristically disinterested tone.

“Yeah, somewhere in the ruins-- we’re at the way station I presume?†Daniels spoke rather quickly and fidgeted a lot, he seemed either nervous or uncomfortable about something the boy could not even begin to decipher.

“Uh huh. Your will told me to come here if you lost. You were out of it and there was nothing else for it.†The stress was most clearly on the word ‘will’ when the younger of the two spoke. He didn’t add any malice or force beyond due course, but it still stung to hear it from him. Daniels eyes dropped momentarily before he could compose himself.

“Thanks.†He replied.

“It really was nothing on my part. Strato left a few remedies here-- I can only assume he waited for you here for a little while.†Callum reasoned aloud, almost questioningly.

“Yeah, the agreement was that whoever entered here first set off countdown and the other would have to show up in a week or forfeit.†Daniels explained.

“How would you know whether someone entered this world?†Callum asked quizzically.

“This.†Daniels rummaged for a few seconds through his jacket and finally held out a ticket, similar to the train tickets they‘d used once before. Callum took it between his index finger and thumb and peered at it skeptically. It had typed on it a few words including an underlined deadline date and the current date. “It activates it’s partner ticket when introduced into a preset condition and reveals a deadline or a piece of sealed information depending or whatever based on who set it and how. You can only find a few of these in Escher, but the old man used this to tell me how much he wanted a rematch one day, or how I should stay out of this place. I can’t tell what he meant by it. I don’t really get how it works either. Anyways, we’d better get moving. Church isn’t gonna be happy about all of this is he?â€

“He really won’t be.†Callum sighed as he dragged himself into the afternoon sun, towards the entrance to the ruined city. He was closely followed by the limping form of the formerly brown coated man who grimaced in the intense heat and muttered a few words to himself.

“Impossible to please, that one.†Daniels remarked almost disdainfully, his voice still so soft and hoarse.

“I suppose.†Callum gave little more than a whisper in reply.

“Yeah.†Daniels replied sullenly, rubbing his neck in a downcast manner as he followed the black haired boy with his hat hanging over his eyes and his coat slung over his shoulder.

The two walked down a straight stretch of sand covered road for several minutes. Suddenly Callum turned left and the gate entered his line of sight. He stopped and blinked against the sun’s rays before turning back to see Daniels hobbling over as best he could. The boy waited silently for the man to catch up. When the blonde overtook his companion and rounded the corner he sighed heavily before continuing on the seemingly impossible trek out of the ruins. From then on their pace was slowed to match the injured gunman‘s. Callum swayed back and forth with a steady rhythm as he walked forwards, already sweating and panting in the heat he could barely keep himself moving in the noon sun, but every day in the ancient city would be another liability and with no supplies of which to speak for the next day it could only lead to an unpleasant experience either way. So they trudged on to the location of the body.

It was the same. No insects zoomed about in the desiccated plain and the sun hadn’t deprived the corpse of all it’s moisture yet. It looked identical to it’s living visage, with the exception of a proud expression. No, the face that once wore that expression held nothing on it. The blood had drained, the life had fled, all that was left was a stony, expressionless face with empty, half closed eyes. Daniels reached out quickly to force the lids shut before he did anything else. Next he began laboriously dragging the lifeless corpse to the very edge of a great stone pillar.

Callum began to follow when he was halted by an extended hand forbidding his pursuit. He stopped and watched the excruciating path of the two. The blonde haired man stopped, and rested himself against the pillar and the body half a meter before it. He motioned at the swords scattered over the sands some half buried others lying as if they’d only just fallen. Callum closed his eyes and waited for a moment before grudgingly moving himself towards the closest blade. Soon he was driving the last of the collected blades into the ground at the feet of Strato’s body.

Daniels silently thanks him and began heaving sand over the cadaver. Callum silently watched the labor of his comrade and waited patiently. Neither of them made any motion to acknowledge the other for hours. Daniels merely sweated and sagged with his task and Callum observed, almost totally aloof and free of care. The next time either of the two spoke was nearly dusk.

“Finished.†Daniels sighed, his breathing came and went in great heavy pants and puffs, his head lying against his knees where he sat. “When do we leave?â€

“We should leave tonight. A few more days and we’ll die out here.†Callum stated dully.

“Agreed.†Daniels began to rise but fell back to the ground, shaking and wobbling at even the simple task.

“You need a shoulder?†Callum offered a hand, but Daniels refused and on his second attempt rose to his feet with near perfect grace and balance. He slung his coat across his shoulders as ragged and charred as it was, pushed his hat back and smiled.

“No, I just need a bit more quiet.†He said calmly and purposefully, and so the two set off with the last rays of sun fluttering at their backs. Silence hanging between them, lightly, but forcibly at the same time.

The entire night was spent walking back across the desert, towards None. They ate and drank what they had left as they walked and they may very well have slept as the trudged onwards. The time passed slowly, and the distance slower, but Daniels still wore a cool smile on his face all the while. Callum took no notice and simply forged ahead, leaving the brown coated man to himself. They watched the moon and stars pass them by as the night grew older. When the moon had almost reached the western edge of the sky a familiar sight greeted the two travelers.

In the distance they could see and just barely hear over their footsteps a great black column of smoke erupting from a great fire. Neither said a word, neither had to, they had returned to None and they were on the home stretch. Callum sighed with relief and quickened his pace back to a normal walking tempo. Daniels followed as well as his body would allow, but fell a ways behind by the time Callum reached the inn. The black haired boy entered the dilapidated establishment almost immediately after he reached it, a relieved smile only just crossing his face as he did so.

“I’m back.†Church looked up briefly and replied coldly. He had been leaned back in a chair reading until the black haired boy spoke. He swept a strand of hair from his face and tilted his ear towards the door, listening for another set of footsteps.

“And?†Callum frowned, he considered how to explain the situation before he decided such a thing was short enough for him to explain.

“Well. It’s over, we can keep moving.†Callum replied, entirely unsure if his answer was adequate or even correct. As a result his words came out somewhat stiltedly.

“Fine then. Where‘s the cowboy?†Church ignored the awkwardness of his tone, brought the chair back onto all four of its legs and stared at him.

“Outside.†Then after a second of thought he added, “and don’t hit him or anything when he comes in.†Church merely nodded and set down his book. The two remained almost impossibly silent for several long minutes. Neither made eye contact or even acted as if they were aware of the other’s presence. Finally Daniels entered the small inn and greeted Church with a weak wave. When the other man saw the state of his clothes and posture, he made no remark or gesture.

“So I’ve finished my business that I had to take care of.†Daniels said, breaking the thin layer of quiet with his awkward remark.

“So it would seem.†Church replied phlegmatically. His inaction served as an open invitation for Daniels to advance further into the inn. The man also took it as forgiveness for his rash actions and simply took up his usual manner.

“Yeah, well it’s time we get moving again, tonight we’ll be able to cross the desert to the next checkpoint we’re looking for.†Daniels yawned nonchalantly and leaned against the nearest wall.


“Name?†Church asked monosyllabically. He

“Nanome. That’ll be our halfway point if all goes smoothly.†Daniels said optimistically.

“Do I even need to ask?†The effeminate male said skeptically.

“There’s a group of people there who can transport us to within two day’s walk of the gate.†Daniels set his hands in front of himself weakly and tried to draw out the framework of his plan.

“If that falls through?†Church cocked an eyebrow and pocketed his book.

“There are other places but they’re all a bit farther out.†Daniels assured him, feigning an attempt at appeasing the skeptical man.

“I see. This place really must not change much.†Church observed with a sidelong glance at the black haired boy, who yawned loudly.

“We depend on that more than anything.†He replied. Church said nothing and removed himself from the diner area and shut himself in his room.

“Well, I’ve had a long day of watching you do things, so I’ve got to go purge my mind of it and get some rest.†Callum quipped as he fllowed suit and left Daniels alone, standing in the empty dining area. He pulled himself out a chair and flopped down in it heavily. He eyed a freshly woken barman, who entered as inconspicuously as his dull wit would allow, and ordered a drink. When it arrived he simply held it up to the east as the sun began to rise sending beams of light scattering through the glass to all corners of the room.

“Well…here I am.â€




That's all folks.

It's easier if I show you.

You are an Opportunist Seme!

Preying on the clueless is what you're all about. You really don't intend to hurt anyone, but if a bit of harmless manipulation can get you what you want, you're not beyond taking a little advantage of someone, which you figure is an even exchange for your companionship anyway. Not one for lots of drama, you are best paired with the Clueless Uke, who will appreciate your attention and never bat an eye at your slightly sneaky ways. Most compatible with: Clueless Uke, Innocent Uke
Least compatible with: Badass Uke