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In order, my necks and heads are weird all the time I've heard this all before, that'd be a bit of a pain to try and foreshorten, it's right there on the right holding the sword, the left on is behind his sleeve though because he's holding onto the sheath to steady it like they do. I can see where you get all your comments though.

The people in real life also like the hat.

Never.

Introductions should actually have exposition. You could and should have done a load of exposition in the little bit of story you covered just to give people a little context so they understand where the story is coming from, what the tone is, and maybe a little of the message you may or may not be trying to convey, but you went and made everything incredibly vague and omitted meaningful description at every possible turn.

That's not a chapter, it's a blurb. Barely even a paragraph if you ask me. Also, word to the wise, Miko is an incredibly girly name the -ko ending is usually for girls in Japanese(which is where I assume you got the name) as far as I've heard.

King Giligamesh would be proud.

So you understand what I mean by dying cricket.

Saki posted this uber long ago.

I update and it's about as spectacular as a cricket dying, of old age.

This time tomorrow someone's going to start complaining about their WinRAR not working because something expired. That or the world will start turning ever so slightly slower increasing gravity and destroying all technology forcing us to gain psychic powers and duel to the death against the guy who slowed down the Earth with a giant spike of mental energy.

I thought it looked better foreshortened because when I draw longer edges they get very ugly and messy. I had it placed for a down cut before but as I said I couldn't make a neat clean edge so I erased it and made it point straight out so there was a smaller chance for error.

That weird asian kid. Fucker still owes me ten bucks.

The hand is wrong because a real hand would not act like that. It's all blocky and does not contour to the object's shape like a flesh and blood hand should. I noticed the hand thing after I posted.

I was joking about the update time, you have more important things to do and I don't blame you for it. As far as grammar goes it's just things like...the out of earshot bit is messed up because that generally means distance not volume, but I thought I saw something else too... "All eyes turned toward her as she stood against the port side deck railing; holding something in her hands." That's actually a bad place to put a semicolon, semicolons can take the place of periods, but holding something in her hands is not a complete sentence and should be connected with a comma. In general it's stuff like this that I'm noticing, not big stuff but things that are noticeable if you're looking, which I often times am.

I'm lost, maybe if you updated a little quicker then I'd still remember what happened last... But in all seriousness I need to go back before I can say anything on this outside of grammar which, by the why, could be a bit better.

Starting sentences with a word ending in -ing sounds awkward. So as I seem to find myself saying a lot, you should be careful of awkward phrasing and try to make things sound as if they flow effortlessly I suppose.

I like it as a pen sketch, but it could very well be anyone with a hood with the information we have on Xion. I don't have any suggestions.

Haven't commented recently, but this is fairly good. I only notice grammatical errors and I won't nit pick since you apparently aren't a native English speaker.

Not bad at all. Few grammatical slip ups, pretty good phrasing. Can't say I have a clue as to what's going on but with this much material that's to be expected. I don't really have any problems with this so far.

It's fine, once you see grown men cosplaying as girls from it you won't care about that.

Okay, it's been two weeks since my last update, it seems I'm doomed to be a liar no matter how I schedule it. In compensation for the wait I've done a very long chapter, be grateful, or disgruntled either works for me. So, I've got no edits here either, tell me if you see any issues, you know.




Door 16: Here It Goes Again

That night, the three reunited peregrinates returned to their shortly interrupted journey. Daniels in his ragged coat led them onwards with a new found alacrity bearing a striking resemblance to his usual chipper attitude of the time before they entered the Enigma. Church followed without question or complaint regarding their situation, he simply put his feet one in front of the other and matched the lead’s pace. Callum on the other hand trailed behind and kept his eyes on the heels of the man in front of him as he walked with only the faintest amount of his consciousness devoted to the situation. Each of them kept to their own thoughts for the long night’s hours and the desert’s long miles.

The pounding repetition of stepping, sinking a little into the sand, finding one’s footing, and starting over beat into Callum‘s head a tempo for thought, a rhythm to emphasize the words floating through his head. First it seemed incredibly clear, he could feel each thought pass by with a step, each question followed by an answer, but when his head could no longer reason out answers to his internal questions the pounding of his feet, the pounding in his head, the images swimming before his eyes and in his mind, it all seemed somehow incredibly fast, dizzying even.

Just when the reeling in his head began to translate to his body Daniels came to a sudden halt. He softly suggested they take their rest then when the hardest bit of dunes was past them. The moon passed the itinerants by on its own journey, as did the stars and any other bit of life that happened to survive the deserts brutal days. Finally the black haired boy broke the silence with a question that had been forgotten.

“Yo Daniels.†“You called that…†He paused perplexedly as he rolled the question around in his head trying to phrase it just right. “What you use to power a lock weapon, you called it anima. Am I right so far?â€

“Yes.†He followed the evasion of detailing the fight as he answered tersely, thinking of how he‘d answer as comprehensibly as possible.

“Anima is just a broad term.†Church said before either of the other two could speak. “Kid, what he’s talking about isn’t really just one thing, it’s three clearly defined things, each with it‘s own unique properties. Id, the ‘I want’ or selfish desire that drives survival instinct and other self serving actions, Ego the sense of self and introspective personality what makes you different from any other person, and Superego, the sense of morals and justice the thing greater than yourself that you work for… the balance to Id’s selfishness I suppose.

"Terms originally coined by Freud in his work on the human mind, and adapted to their counterparts discovered here in Escher. Each is considered a form of mental or spiritual energy, as different they are, named for the Latin word for the soul: anima. It’s what the locks and keys use to produce and effect, depending on the levels of each respective force a different effect is produced. That’s how locks work, it’s best I tell you before Daniels goes off spouting some ridiculous analogy.†He paused, made as if to speak again, then fell silent, content with his answer as it stood.

“I see.†Callum sighed to himself. He would, in some ways, have preferred a conversation on the matter, but seeing an answer in front of you so plainly and refusing it just to keep up effectively pointless interactions is just stupid. He sighed again at the thought of him being the one to wish for a conversation. Not too long ago he was the guy who’d spend all his time avoiding others, and now he was thinking thoughts that betrayed everything he used to be. He was brought out of his thoughts again when Daniels spoke.

“Well, we’d better not get too comfy.†Daniels said wryly as he got to his feet and began walking again. The others followed suit, each partaking in the foresight of prospective drudgery and silence. Still, they moved onward.

Towards the end of the night, when the first of dawn was just getting ready to show itself in anticipation of the day, another small settlement, of a similar style to None appeared from beneath the crests of distant sand dunes. Daniels’s eyes lit up with a certain accomplished glee, as if the fact that the small town was still there was enough to prove he was right in all of his assumptions regarding the journey, that may very well have been the case for all any of the travelers truly knew.

Church yawned lethargically and pushed onwards after their triumphant leader. Callum glanced up at the wretched place and quickly returned to looking at the ground. He was beginning to get the impression that this place was going to be the death of him. It wasn’t the battle he’d seen, nor was it the oppressively bleak landscape so much as it was the endlessness the Lateral Enigma seemed to evoke. Maybe that’s why it was called an enigma, the incomprehensible mystery that tore people apart, begot chaos, incurred mass bloodshed, and created a frontier like this.

By the time the three reached the town of Nanome it was bathed in grey daylight, still in the early hours when people would rather be sleeping than acting. The exhausted trio trooped towards the closest inn to make plans on their next move all the same. The town, though equally tiny and wretched as None, was a good deal livelier. The inn and tavern had been combined into one slightly larger complex.

The interior of which was a strange eclecticism of eastern and western design and structural features. The entirely wooden structure that was the tavern’s barroom and the inn’s lobby was set about with grimy, heavy tables with iron bands and bolts holding them together. Upon entering, Church and Callum realized that there was probably never a moment when either would be completely devoid of some sort of activity, be it merry making or murder.

Callum grimaced in disgust when he entered the tavern front where the air stank of alcohol and blood and the floors were riddled with teeth, broken glass, and splinters of chairs destroyed in brawls. The inhabitants were even worse, if that was indeed possible, they shouted and fought, laughed and cried, killed and died, all over a stout pint of reeking alcohol.

The sights and sounds accompanied by the stench were almost unbearable for the black haired boy; he was beginning to see what the world had to offer was less than he’d even expected after None. Callum quite visibly shook a disapproving head at the scene. Church showed a similar level of disdain for the drunken pigs stumbling about before him, but kept himself from making it quite as apparent as his younger companion.

Daniels face became serious, as it had done when he first entered the Enigma. However, he forced a smile and pushed through the reeking crowd towards the check in desk and got several rooms without incident. The three took several minutes to accustom themselves to the tavern inn rooms before reconvening in Daniels’s room. Church sat on top of a worn out table with his legs dangling off the side only barely touching the floor. Callum sat cross legged on the foot of the pallet like mattress and Daniels occupied the chair that accompanied the desk..

“Alright. This place is as I left it ten years ago, both a good sign and a bad sign.†He looked at both of the others for any sign of inquiry. When none came to the surface of either of his company member’s faces he went on. “Good part is the guy that can get of out of here post haste is probably still hanging around like the rest of these idiots. Less auspicious part is we’ll likely be killed in our sleep or something with things as they are.â€

Church muttered something that sounded like, “And who’s fault is that?†Daniels paid him no mind and continued.

“We, consequently, have to keep as low a profile as is humanly possible. If we play it right, we live, if not we’re fucked verily. Questions, comments, concerns, complaints?â€

“I have a question.†Church raised his hand in mock enthusiasm.

“Uh huh.†Daniels replied dryly.

“How are we supposed to stay low profile and find a guy at the same time?†The boy asked fiddling around with a zipper on his bag.

“I know this guy, where he’ll be, what he’ll respond to, and the fact that he’s one of the few that can be trusted. We don’t need to ask questions and we don’t need to look suspicious.†Daniels answered adroitly. Church nodded in half approval and glanced over at the other listener briefly.

“Aren’t we already being sort of suspicious in coming here this way and then not getting hammered instantly like the others?†Callum asked confusedly.

“Not really, though we’ll have to make an appearance before midnight to make it seem like we’re just some regular travelers just going from point A to point B.†Daniels replied, he spoke with a heavy doubt lying in the back of his mind, but he remained optimistic as possible.

Also, when do we leave?†Callum added with a nod of acknowledgment of the first explanation.

“As soon as possible. I‘ll be heading out later to have a talk with our ride. I suggest we rest up now and prepare for the worst.†Daniels yawned and got to his feet slowly.

“Can’t say I disagree.†Callum replied fatigue dragging down on his speech.

“I’m locking my door then.†Church stated with such a serious and deadpan tone then he could only be joking. Still all three were tacitly considering it as a precautionary measure all the same as they went their separate ways.

That night the black haired boy was roused by a sharp rapping at his door and a hiss that he recognized as Church’s harsh whisper.

“We’re being inconspicuous now.†He said dully before leaving Callum to collect himself enough to join his comrades. The bed was stiff as a board and smelled like it hadn’t been in use in years. In fact, the room itself shared that musty odor as well as some of the mold. As Callum rose from the wretched thing he felt how stiff and sore his body had gotten from the past few days of walking and sleeping in such a place. He took half a minute to just get himself moving properly in the semi-darkness. When he’d become sufficiently mobile he begrudgingly moved himself to the door, unlocked it and followed Church’s lead to the tavern area.

Daniels was waiting for them at a table on the upper tier of the floor plan tucked in between two tables with especially uproarious occupants. The thin wooden board walls separating tables into alcoves on the terraced sections were only a small mercy. Though they kept much of the spit and various other fluids contained to their original areas. They however, could not stay the howling, whooping, or reeking that all customers tended to participate in.

“If I’d come here to have these degenerate worms spew their saliva all over me--†Church began.

“We’re not here to bitch, we’re not here to get soaked in a rain of bodily fluids, and we’re most certainly not here to get targets painted on our backs. So sit down and shut up, I’ve got a plan.†Daniels whispered, menacing in spite of the deafening roar around them. Church quietly sat down and gave no further argument, he was a proud man in some ways, but he always knew when he was about to make a fool of himself and cut his losses early.

It turned out that Daniels’s plan to keep them inconspicuous was to make them the center of attention. After they’d settled into the revolting booth Daniels stood up on the grimy table and shouted at the top of his lungs something that sounded like an unintelligible call to arms or a round of drinks for everyone. The latter turned out to be true, for almost instantly everyone had a tankard in hand filed with some manner of foul liquid.

Daniels feigned enthusiastic participation in the subsequent merriment speaking to each and every person as if they’d been friends years ago and only just forgotten to come to call until now. Callum had to admit that this method, displeasing as it may have been, was probably enough to keep the occupants of the town drunk and happy enough to stay their killing blows for a few days. This analysis however was far from correct.

Neither Callum nor Church felt any compulsion to join in any of the celebratory bout of sonorous conversation or inordinate drinking and were quickly pegged as outsiders by one of the more sober and belligerent patrons of the tavern. He was a large man, nearly seven feet tall and muscular. He wore clothing reminiscent of government issued military uniforms that had been torn up over years of fighting and his hair was cropped to match. Rather than staggering drunkenly all over the place he strode over to the silent pair strongly and slammed his great paw onto the table.

Callum ignored it and continued to keep watch of Daniels’s situation half way across the room, ready to call for backup. Church looked up at him with a smirk before returning his eyes to the spot on the table he seemed to have deemed most interesting. The man made no response to the gesture, instead he lifted the thin black haired boy from his seat with one hand. He forced back a surprised yelp but still looked as scared and confused as he was trying not to seem.

“You.†He grunted.

“Me.†The boy responded with nervous laughter in his voice.

“Something about you doesn’t belong here.†Church snickered under his breath as he watched the spectacle amusedly. The man took no notice of him but Callum made furious gesticulations in ill conceived attempts request the feminine man’s assistance.

“I noticed that very point actually. Not much of a drinker, a bit squeamish when it comes to the ripping limbs off, have an aversion to watching people die horribly, not that there’s anything wrong with that, ha ha ha, but somehow I manage.†The man clearly wasn’t stupid, nor was he very intelligent. He thought, but not deeply or clearly.

So he calculatingly narrowed his eyes at the boy as he spoke and quickly decided it was appropriate to just pound the upstart into a bloody mess. For that‘s all he was, a worthless worm that didn‘t know his place or how to survive in the place he assumed to have. It could be considered a mercy even, in this kind of world.

Callum felt his weight shift once again just before he was hurled roughly through the air. He landed squarely in the middle of a table in the corner of the raised tier about ten feet away and nearly passed out. When he’d had several seconds to reorient himself he found himself facing a man with a lock hung around his neck similarly to Daniels. It had long flowing lines engraved onto it’s surface and was colored like a polished lump of iron. The man’s face was covered by the dark blue hood of his jacket, which looked several sizes too large, much like the rest of his baggy attire.

Callum tried to apologize to the occupant quickly but the man took no notice of him and rose to meet the man who’d thrown him instead. The larger man stared down at his smaller counterpart for several seconds awaiting some kind of explanation for the absurd action. The shorter man threw his head back revealing a woman’s face. She had dark eyes and dark hair and wore a bright with an expression of amusement. By now the gazes of every set of eyes in the tavern were trained on the two.

“I know the food here is shit and the drinks are worse, but I really hate it when people disturb my meals all the same.†Her voice was stable and cool as she spoke. “So I’d like it very much if you got on your hands and knees and apologized to me, acceptable?†The man snorted with arrogant laughter, but the blood had drained from Callum’s face the second she removed her hood.

The young girl was the assassin he’d seen in Ares. The cold dark eyes and the short dark hair hadn’t changed a bit and Callum remembered the pain of that day in his hand and in his chest as she spoke with that cool voice, that voice that only just masked her killing intent.

“You really think that you can beat me?†The burly man scoffed and turned his gaze back to the black haired boy who remained sprawled over the table. The girl grasped what was left of his tattered sleeve and smiled unpleasantly.

“I’m not the brightest of people, so I make sure not to speak until I know.†She parried instantly. The man made an angry hissing sound and without warning lashed out. He swung his tree of an arm at her only to have her deftly circle around behind him and start laughing. “Hahaha! You think that’s a smart idea? You swing before you even know who you‘re fighting, and here I thought I was dumb. This place is just too much!â€

“I’ll kill you, you insolent bitch!†He rounded on her but she followed his turn with a hand planted on his spine, preventing him from making a move without her instantly knowing.

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to speak to a lady that way?†She said slipping a key into the lock around her neck and turning it with a click. Her short sword materializing in her hand from a wisp of dark vapor.

“Screw propriety!†The man rushed backwards into a wall, forcing her away.

“Without manners where would we be?†She quipped quickly. Suddenly the man started chuckling at her taunt for no apparent reason.

“You’re right, where would we be?†He said regaining his composure to a certain extent. “I’m the former General Marcus Fox, and you are?†He stretched out a hand as if to shake hers as his broad shoulders shook with his laughter at something that no one else found funny.

“About to get paid quite handsomely it seems. You’re head will bring me-- how much was it?†She tapped the flat of her blade against her chin in thought for a moment before she suddenly flipped her blade from one hand into the other as if the whole affair had grown dull when he stopped trying to kill her.

“A bounty hunter.†He nodded in grim acknowledgment and shook away his bout of crazed laughter in favor of a fighting pose.

“For today it seems.†She smiled and gripped her sword tighter. Marcus rushed forwards, readying his fists.

“You fight me knowing me--my reputation.†He smirked as the girl charged as well, her blade flashing in the dim barroom light. “You were right when you said you were stupid.†They clashed. Not a single drop of blood was drawn from the man’s bare arm as it frustrated the blade’s advance. He grinned triumphantly.

“I fight you knowing your rep and why you’re retired ‘General’.†She retaliated with a wicked grin and a sarcastic wit, she proceeded to drag the edge of her blade across his arm leaving a shallow cut. Marcus remained in an indignant and fearful silence as he struck back again and again each time coming away with a fresh cut against one of his arms. However, the injuries were minor and he came closer to hitting his mark each time.

The girl obviously noticed this because she suddenly took the offensive and adroitly kicked out his plant foot during one of his longer swings at her and circled behind him in one long fluid motion. With no change in expression or hesitation she drove her blade into his back. The great brute let out a gasp of pain before staggering forwards, his great mass pulling the blade out of the girl’s hand as it remained lodged in his heavy muscular chest.

She simply watched him struggle to stand for several seconds before speaking with a changed tone, one of condescension and total confidence. “You’ve lost. I knew your days of fighting were over, but I can’t say I thought an assassination would be this easy you impotent worm.â€

“You bitch.†He struggled to speak through the pain trying to keep his composure despite the sweat pouring down his face and the blood pouring down his chest. She shrugged as if he’d said nothing of consequence and wrenched her blade from his back. He slumped over instantly, dead.

“I may be a bitch, but hell, I’m still alive. Right, you belligerent bastard?†She smirked as she knelt down and removed his head with one clean sweep of his sword and shoved it into a sack she had produced from within her jacket. She stood up brushed herself off, slung the sack over her shoulder and looked at everyone around her, many stood in stunned silence, others had small side conversations but the general consensus was to be in some kind of shock.

She continued back to her table and examined Callum‘s face as it sat across from hers. She lifted a hand and made a short sweeping motion. “Check please.†With that parting shot the entire barroom came back to life and everyone promptly forgot about the death of Marcus Fox.

“I--†She held up a hand and then patted him on his head as one would an animal or small child. Then the girl set down the head in the chair next to hers.

“Thanks for helping me out back in Ares. That girl was tough, nearly impossible to take out quick, I probably would’ve been there all night getting injured and tired and dirty if you hadn’t come along. Thanks.†She smiled sweetly as her malicious face would let her.

“I didn’t mean to.†He muttered back as he righted himself and took the seat across from her. On some level he felt that this was wrong, talking to her after all she‘d done, but at the same time something told him to stay there and ride out the storm in his mind..

“Whatever, you did it and intention doesn’t pay the bills.†She replied resetting the table as it had been before Callum had fallen and put everything out of place.

“Uh…†Callum stammered trying to find a way to talk to her in spite of what he had seen her do and what he knew she could easily do to anyone at a moments notice.

“Speaking of paying the bills, you have any idea where Central Enigma is from here? I’ve been looking around for it since a deal fell through back in Romarina--â€

“I don’t think I can help you.†Callum finally plucked up the courage and composure to reply in a strong clear voice, but no sooner had the words leave his mouth did he lose his nerve.

“Really?†She was somewhat bemused by his sudden outburst, but remained friendly.

“You’re a killer--†He accused, his voice soft again. The girl lifted a spoon from the center of the table and twirled it in between her fingers lethargically.

“I think I resent that. I’m an assassin, I only do it for money.†She said pointing a spoon at him.

“That’s even worse you know.†He remarked.

“You take your emotions out of it and you’ll be able to make quite a bundle.†She said scooping up a stray bit of mush and eyeing it on the spoons squalid surface.

“But--†Callum tried to retort but she interrupted in a suddenly somber tone.

“If you’ve got no attachments to the world it really doesn’t bother you. I mean, if you resolve yourself to not feel sad or angry or happy it won’t matter as long as you can get by.†She looked at him for a moment with tired, hounded eyes. When Callum spoke again she dropped her gaze to the table and frowned.

“You--†Just then Church deemed it a good time to interrupt.

“Leave it. She’s obviously not gonna listen to you. She’s not a people person.†Church said leaning on the screening wall of the alcove.

“You knI’m right here sis.†The assassin mocked with a wry grin.

“And here is where I take my leave.†Church said pulling Callum along by the scruff of his collar with him with a mildly irritated expression. “You too kid.†Callum stood and walked back over to the table he’d been so unceremoniously removed from.

“Hang on a second.†Callum felt a tug on his arm and looked back to see the dark haired girl holding onto his hand with a question in her eyes. “If you’re ever in need of assistance killing someone, here’s my business card.†She said thrusting a slip of stiff, thick paper into his hand. “I like you kid, so don’t die before we meet again.†She smiled, it looked slightly more genuine than before but the affectations of the gesture just cheapened it.

“I won’t.†He replied weakly.





Now it's over. Three more chapters left.