I waited so long to see this post. Why were you not here for me to cry into?
I suggest you take out the bold since that is only supposed to be used for emphasis in writing and though there is nothing technically wrong with the red it just distracts from the fact that there is actually something you want taken seriously.
The complete polish isn't there yet, but you've got pretty much everything else except for shadows and completed depth in perspective.
You are pretty well versed in your poses, perspectives and structures. However, with the more difficult pictures you show your lack of mastery in said elements. Anymore that this, you either know already or it just goes without saying.
Different. Wider use of vocabulary, but overall it's the same thing. It's definitely not my cup of tea. However, I don't really think it's technically bad for what it is, I never really did.
Not bad. The beginning felt a little bit shaky and there are more than a few times when you've used a word incorrectly or lapsed in grammar but this is overall well structured and executed. The first person perspective is used pretty well and there aren't many, if any, errors in continuity. Remember to start new paragraphs when speakers change and to separate the paragraphs so they don't blend together. You also would do well to study your writing topic; I'm not saying you did not here or have to for that matter but that's a good thing to keep in mind especially if you are writing about a foreign country or a very specific topic. I don't really have anything else in the ways of advice for you since you seem to be doing well enough on your own and wouldn't necessarily benefit from anything more than a brief analysis and opinion.
This is in general very simple. No description beyond what is absolutely necessary to keep the story moving more or less and you use simplified language for much of this. Words like "guts" and such are generally very conversational and shouldn't be used in writing which is a more formal medium in general. Which brings me to the small fact that you cannot bleed innards as you would have us believe based on this excerpt, "blood and guts spilling from your veins and arteries." Overall this reads more like a light novel than anything else. This is not necessarily good or bad, just fact. I don't know why you write or how much you care so I won't go much further than this.
^ This but anything works for reference material depending on your needs. It can be another drawing if you intend on drawing in the same style or if you like a certain element of it. On a slightly different note, you need to give a feel for movement in works like this and posing images will not really give that to you because they are purposefully static and do not portray the same thing. To create the illusion of capturing movement you need to analyze images that simulate movement. I'm sure you know some of that, but it just stands as a reminder since this is a moving shot you have here.
You give meaning to **** and tell don'tcha? On your by the way note: I don't know.
We are Gundam.
First real update since I stopped writing, I'm sorta getting back into it but not really. Whatever. Door 21: I'm Not Gonna Kill You (Yet) Church could feel something going awry somewhere as he walked down the darkened basement halls towards the security office. It had no bearing on his situation though, nothing could mess up his plans now that he’d cleared the strongest layer of defense that the building had to offer. Finding his way to the next objective would be easy. He looked to the camera that had been following his progress down the hall. With one swift motion he slashed through the wall beneath it. He smiled, there was a huge gash in the outer wall but underneath was a totally unharmed metallic casing that he followed all the way up to the camera. If there was one thing that was overprotected in this large base of operations it was the nervous system. All the armoring on the cameras and sensors and wires was guaranteed to lead the enemy straight to his objective rather than stopping him. “If you go about it like that letting them take out a few surveillance systems is just as useful because at least then they don‘t get any ideas beyond hacking you, meaning you know their access point and possibly intentions without having to lift a finger or scramble any guards. But people lose their heads and make sure that if it‘s important it cannot be touched, no matter what.†Church chuckled to himself and waved to the camera as he continued periodically slashing beneath cameras to find where they all connected to the center of security systems. They knew he was coming but that wouldn’t help. Security office heads, when confined to a hotel or any other concealed base, no matter how powerful the security won’t be able to do a thing if attacked directly, they‘re usually just analysts with a security detail, some handguns, and one way in and out. A good place to hole yourself up in if your enemy can’t get in without taking some shots, a horrible thing if your enemy is stronger than you. A lock weapon like the Copper Scythe would negate the advantages of the guns in a confined space where he could easily kill everyone in a single sweep before a single gun was fired. They’d be sure to know this after his playful warning. Just on schedule the grey halls were filled with the clatter of feet. Reinforcements. Guard the nerve center, without communication you fall apart. That’s a cardinal rule in tactics and warfare, but it was exactly what Church needed, people who consistently followed the rules and did everything right. He smiled confidently and continued walking to the end of the hall. Even in the dim flickering fluorescent lights he could clearly read the numbers by the doors. “B051.†He smirked and unlocked the door. Just as predicted, it led to an oasis in the desert, settled mainly by travelers and supported by an underground river. It was just a stopping off point, but he’d learned about all of the places he’d have to go for this job. “Next room is KN201.†He walked off slowly following the path he’d mapped out moths ahead of time. He’d been foiled long enough, this was his victory, he could practically taste it in the arid air around him. --- “What the hell is this?†The man struggled to keep up with his opponent’s newly discovered speed. The blows rained down on him as he Dashed back trying to find a place to escape and reformulate his strategy. Suddenly he was clear of danger and Callum was standing stark still with his hands at his sides huffing and puffing. He’d finally run out of steam, no one could keep up that level of strength and speed against a specially designed robotic arm like that. Especially with his show before, whatever the trick was, the game was up and his target was going down. The man sighed in relief and began the firs step his counterattack when he heard a maniacal laughter erupt from Callum’s lungs. “Kill. Kill! KILL!†He bellowed suddenly jubilant once more and halfway across the large gap he’d created before. “You’re a monster. No wonder they want you. But I don’t think I can stop you without killing you.†The man said as he sighed in resignation. Then he attacked. A gigantic swing arced across the gap and came crashing down on the crazed Callum. It had no effect, the black haired boy stood tall beneath the arm with his shoulder cracking as it pressed down on him. “Numb to pain?†Suddenly, he released an eerie blood curdling cackle. Before the man could even make a second move he felt a piercing pain run up his organic arm. Callum was standing next to him grinning broadly dragging a trail of the man’s own blood through the air as he stood, relaxed as if he were sleeping on his feet, until he began screaming. “Rip, tear, kill. Rip. Tear. Kill!†“Bastard’s faster than I thought.†The man grit his teeth and continued the fight even with his arms getting torn up steadily more and more. “But how does he get stronger the longer we fight?†Pain shot up his arm again. He was being shredded slowly on purpose. He could tell from the grin that Callum wore that he was enjoying himself more than a kid in a candy store. They crashed together in a rain of sparks, the chainsaw burying its teeth into the arm as they both pressed forwards. “You’ve lost your brains with that sensitivity to pain.†The man shouted as he cleared Callum’s blade and activated his arm’s heat generator with his target the air just between them. Even in his half crazed state Callum took notice of the light as a threat like and animal in headlights but it was far too late for him to evade or counter if he‘d the presence of mind to, he was dead for sure. At least that’s what the man with the mechanical arm had thought until his saw a shadow pass behind his opponent just as his shot discharged and blinded him with the light of the plasma momentarily. Then came the voice, the nonchalant yet still menacing female voice. “Damn. I never thought I’d be saving this man’s sorry ass after I vowed to kill him, but I’m the one who’s going to do that, not you.†The girl’s voice rang out from behind the cloud of dust kicked up by the blast and Callum’s crumpled form. When the cloud finally dispersed he could see her holding one of his arms and that she had dragged him away from the man’s attack just in time to save him from more than some first degree burns. At least the boy was now unconscious, he’d only have one enemy to deal with and he wouldn’t have to destroy the target after all. The man smiled at his good fortune. “Who the hell are you?†He asked still unsure as to how to deal with the girl wearing a school uniform before him. “I only give my name out to people who I’ve chosen to kill.†She proclaimed tossing aside Callum’s arm and readying her key. “I’m Henry Bishops then, now prepare yourself.†The man smirked as he flourished his giant arm and claws. “If you insist. Hiko Kanna is coming to kill you.†She said plunging the key into the lock and unleashing her glaive. “Another lock user.†He scoffed. His weapon was weak against the saw that absorbed anima but there wasn’t another effect he could think of that would break through his shield again. The two came together in a furious melee of blades clashing but it was over as soon as it had begun. The familiar glow of the arm preparing to fire revealed itself in close quarters once again. Kanna swore but managed to redirect the man’s arm as it closed in on her sending the plasma ball harmlessly into the air above them and cleared a space for her own counterattack. She had nearly made contact when the air returning to the vacuum forced her back into the fray and with an inhuman recovery from the block and an equally impossible lunging maneuver the man attacked. The two glared at each other, they were closely matched as things stood. Kanna changed her grip on her long halberd and rushed in again, this time only as a feint to take the man’s back and attack from his blind spot. Another counter from the mechanical arm. They finally broke apart after several more clashes. “I’ll give you this much, for a girl your age you have some good moves and the fact that you can divert my arm’s attacks makes you all the more impressive however when it comes to range I still have the advantage and when it comes to tactics…†He quickly jammed his arm into the ground causing a huge explosion between the two forcing Kanna to jump back, just what Henry Bishops had waited for. Without missing a step he threw an uppercut at her that she barely managed to block in midair but it sent her higher up. With a maniacal grin Bishops used his arm to launch himself back into the air against the now defenseless girl. “I rule the sky.†“Sorry, but I’m going to have to interrupt another fight.†Callum said as the blades of Bishops’s arm dug into his ribs. “You idiot!†Bishops shouted tearing his claws free as the three landed. “How am I supposed to bring you back if--†“You’re still fighting me.†Kanna bellowed taking a swing at him as Callum fell to the ground with a pronounced thump. “You bitch! Get away from me!†The man bellowed as she blacked and forced her away. “No!†She practically screamed. “Either you back off and let me deal with him or you let him bleed to death while you fight me!†Bishops grit his teeth and then spoke. “Don’t think I’m letting you off for this, but the objective is to capture him alive. Since you seem to want to kill him in a fight I’ll leave him to you until you plan on killing him.†He sighed irascibly. “Until then Hiko Kanna our fight is postponed.†“Whatever, he’ll be dead before I leave this room.†Kanna shouted at the retreating man. “I’ll just have to take that chance.†Bishops said before boarding the elevator and disappearing. “You’re an idiot.†Kanna said to Callum as she stripped off his shirt and stanched his wounds with a hastily prepared bandage made from it. “I couldn’t just let you die before you got to kill me right? Try being a little grateful.†He whispered through a series of barely stifled coughs. “I need a doctor.†Kanna bit her lip as she watched her makeshift bandage quickly soak through with blood. “Ka…†Was the last thing Callum said before passing out. “What the hell is that?†--- “Hello there Mr. Walsh.†Church smiled broadly as he entered the tastefully adorned office through the heavy oak doors at one end. The man he was speaking to stood opposite Church looking out the immense window that led out onto a veranda. “I suppose you’re here to kill me.†Walsh responded with a chuckle. “You’ve supposed many things over the years as a tactical analyst.†Church said wagging his finger and advancing. “You mean I’m wrong?†Walsh said turning to face Church, who instantly reacted to the tell. “I mean that you obviously saw this coming.†Church smiled as he struck down an oncoming projectile and threw his scythe into the wall where it came from making a squelching noise both upon entry and when the effeminate man ripped it from the wall spraying blood all over the carpets. “And you thought of several ways to stop me from killing you. But I’ll tell you this, I’ve already got what I want. The contents of a certain safe you are in possession of.†Church paused to watch his prey squirm momentarily. But it wasn’t time for him to die yet, he had to live on a little longer to complete his mission. “What? Nothing to say? Do you want to kill me now? I’m sure you do, I’ll give you a free shot if you want.†“You’ll dodge anything a neophyte such as myself could throw at you.†Walsh laughed haughtily in response. “Well isn’t that the point?†Church laughed. Then it struck him, just how to break Walsh, the man who had won every battle he’d ever planned. When his laughter faded he let his menacing smile return and he advanced, slowly. “I do not know what your purpose in betraying the government and stealing from all of your former associates is, nor do I know what you intend to do to me now that you’ve got my most valuable possession.†Walsh stepped back, he was threatened by the move. This made Church grin all the more broadly. “I intend on letting you live, letting you see me take away what you guarded with everything you had. I intend on winning.†Church finally said leaning in close, close enough for the man to count his teeth, to smell his breath, to feel the vibration of his words, to understand his defeat. “Why?†The man said defiantly. “Because I lost before. This is my vindication. Simplicity in action.†Church said, letting his words roll out of his mouth with luxurious slowness. “Lost what?†“Now that is classified information.†Church whispered into the man’s ear breathing slowly over the motionless figure. “I’ll take my leave now.†Church said as he left without leaving a single scratch or drop of blood on his target. “If you want that pride of yours back you’ll have to go back and take it from me of yesteryear because you won’t get anything from the me now.†“Your life is enough.†The man suddenly proclaimed. “Too slow!†Church howled as he cut down the assassins from above. There were more, at least forty more stood between him and the door now. “Fuck! I thought you’d have something better than this, you already know I escaped from a fifty man trained security detail in Guardian. You think this is enough?!†“We shall see.†Walsh said with triumphant air to his voice. “Good! Bring it all on! Watch your best break like the waves upon stone!†Church said as he charged straight for the exit his eyes glinting madly. --- Callum thought he was dead when he first realized he‘d passed out, but when realized he thinking he decided he couldn‘t be dead. Then a voice called him abruptly from his slumber. “Wake up.†It was Kanna, he’d recognize the voice anywhere. He’d jumped between her and that man with the claws. That should have killed him shouldn’t it have? He groaned. “I know your alive, now get up.†“I’m up.†He said groggily without moving or even opening his eyes. Kanna responded by poking him and watching him wriggle a little and opened his eyes. She was sitting next to him with her head leaned over so as to look directly at his face and he was lying down facing the early morning sky, that’s all Callum could tell with his limited ability to move even his eyes around without feeling sick. “Good.†She said, more at his movement than his answer. “I’m glad you’re safe.†Callum practically whispered as he tried to no effect to move himself to the sitting position. “Wake up.†She said, punching him in the arm. “I’m up.†He insisted. “Then quit dreaming of stupid things.†She said frowning at him. “Fine-- where are we?†Wherever it was, it was grassy and a cool breeze blew over them, probably a hill somewhere. “Right outside The Strip. I found a doctor a few floors up who treated you so you can‘t say I never did anything for you.†Kanna explained as if in anticipation of the next reflexive question he’d ask. “You helped me in Ares.†He responded, smiling weakly as he did so. “I still intend on killing you.†Kanna assured him as she ran a hand through her hair, it was slightly longer than before. She also had bags under her eyes and her uniform still had his blood all over it. “That’s okay. I owe it to you.†Callum answered resolutely. “Ie to kill the other girl first.†She said to clarify her intent. “Why?†“I promised that to myself. Now get better quickly so I can kill you.†“Understood.†Callum nodded as best he could which ended up being a sort of twitching motion. “Since you are awake I’m leaving you. So don’t die before I kill you.†In an instant she was on her feet and walking away from the immobile boy. “Kanna.†He called after her as well as he could. “What?†She turned and looked at him, with something that resembled pity in her eyes. “It’s nothing, I’m sorry.†Callum shook his head and smiled. “Seeya around.†She waved vaguely and then she was gone. No proofreading done, so tell me if you see anything. CnC is next to cleanliness.
Played through Quest For Booty on a disc courtesy of China, oddly enough it wasn't bootlegged.
Well it is cable television.
I appreciate the reciprocation but let's now just put the asterisk nonsense behind us and forget about it all, love.
Though I am absolutely abhorrent of motions in asterisks, for you I'll waive the hate. *Hugs*
Aw, I feel like giving my poor boy a hug now, he's so down and depressed sounding with his response.
So let's just us define that word.
I thought it was doing things that others disapproved of and considered amoral or disgusting. However you say things with so much more of a...
But if someone finds it they'll feel like banning me and throwing me in a mental institution, but that's love isn't it love?
And you, well you make me terribly hot and bothered.
