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Following since that's all I know how to do. Self insert for the apparent win.

My glasses are thick enough to stop armor piercing tank rounds.

Too old, cannot find.

Not really.

You, my good sir, just won.

Twitter is the blog's ******ed little cousin.

Song was stuck in my head, needed to get it out.

Stolen from xkcd.

Doesn't get hard until the summer after when you have to choose a university/college and your future that will be immutable and inexorable after that point.

What? stole some e-paper is all.

@Chev: You're odd, did you know that?(spelling it without the 'r' now are you?)
@Everyone else: I don't know who you are but I know you're reading this. That's pretty much it. Bye.


Door 23: Kirche

Everything was business as usual on the streets of Nadipolis. The from the dilapidation and squalor of the plebeian’s quarter to the metropolitan bustle of the nobility’s everything was in order. The street vendors that crowded the poorer streets filled the roadways with noise and crowds of customers practically fighting at times over simple commodities and foodstuffs. Many of the people had never had a job or even first hand experience with money, everything was done on a barter system where everyone scrounged up whatever spilled in from the outside and gave it to the vendors who would sell them straight back out again to pay for their only marginally more opulent lives and the goods that they carried on their worn carts and stands that they lined the streets with.

Those avenues hadn’t seen a single motor vehicle for years and would not see another for many more to come. In spite of the poverty and incontrovertible squalor Church found he liked it far more than the towering skyscrapers of the nobles’ residence as he walked through a clear patch away from the vendors and the shouting, fighting, and misconduct that their existence entailed. It could have been familiarity, but with the number of fond memories Church had with those things that he found familiar that was a highly improbable possibility. Whatever it was it wasn’t why he was in the city and was as such an unnecessary thought so he quickly pushed it from his mind and kept himself walking.

Eventually he came upon the exact store from he was looking for. Just from looking at it there wasn’t much to it but a pink and green lettered signboard weathered to the point that it was barely readable over a fairly plain front with darkened windows was all Church needed to know that it was the right place. Upon entering Church saw that the façade of innocence held, anyone else walking in would see the place as a normal bar. Still it was enough to see the man behind the counter to know this was anything but a place to buy drinks.

“Why does it always have to be a bar?†Church strode up to the counter and took a seat on the nearest stool. The man standing before him could very nearly epitomize the description, ‘slimy, weasely, snitch.’ Willie was in fact a perfect match to his appearance, seemed to be the only one around like that. But for the time being the weasel stood in complete shock and only barely forced himself to reply.

“Kirk. What’re you doing here?†He said in an urgent whisper as he closed the distance between himself and Church.

“Just checking on some things.†Church chuckled as he drew his head back a little, Willie had rancid breath and a set of yellowing teeth that always made talking to him in person a chore. At least there was not another soul in the bar to interrupt and eavesdrop.

“Do you know how hot you are on their radar right now?†Willie finally composed himself enough to ask his question in an even voice, though it still remained hushed and rank with fear and worry.

“I’m here so you can tell me Willie.†Church replied calmly. “How about a drink, you look like you need a drink too.â€

“Don’t screw around! The Chevalier de Sade himself came here to work me over not two weeks ago!†Willie had already instinctively begun to fill a glass when he replied and by the time he realized what he was doing it was half full. So he finished filling it placed it before Church and scowled at him reproachfully.

“How much did you tell them?†Church asked as he examined the thick, chipped glass of his drink.

“How much did I tell them?!†Willie repeated back. “They know everything! Everything! You are in serious trouble if they catch you here.†Church merely scoffed at him and pretended very convincingly that he was in fact drinking the beverage in font of him.

“I only told you what they should know.†Church smiled with an unnervingly convincing look of happiness as he spoke.

“What?â€

“You’re a real pro. Everyone knows about you by now so it’s pointless to get the important stuff from you.†The allure of using information brokers like Willie was that they knew everyone in the business and on top of that had the gutlessness to spill all they knew on them. Keep them more afraid of you and they’re yours, lose that fear and they’re too weak to defend themselves from your liquidation. However, Willie still had some usefulness to be exploited before Church was ready to see him die yet. That’s why he’d taken such pains to lose his tail before even thinking about coming to the bar he now sat in.

“You mean everything--†Willie was in total shock and disbelief as he spoke but before he could begin hyperventilating Church cut in and took control of the conversation again.

“Was a ruse? Of course.†Church chuckled to himself, it was fun watching Willie squirm. “Of course I want you to tell them this when they come by again.â€

“So what did you really want to check up on?†Willie asked incredulously.

“Their movements. You said a few weeks ago?†Church said raising an eyebrow.

“Fifteen days. They showed up at night like usual and I didn’t get back ‘til three days later!†Willie practically shouted to the empty bar.

“He’s serious, that cheeky knight.†Church replied almost amusedly.

“He’s always serious.†Willie glowered.

“Don’t freak out so much. It’s unsightly.†Church reprimanded him with a wag of his finger.

“If he got his hands on you then you’d be just as nervous as I am.†Willie spat.

“He won’t. You told him about every mark I asked you about. Half of them have been hit and the other half haven’t, they’ll obviously be looking at your info and extrapolating my movements so I just have to rearrange my movements.†Church stated plainly despite the fact that it was a bold faced lie.

“Easier said than done! They’ve closed all the info channels that they can. You can’t find a decent information broker in Esher that hasn’t been silenced, or cut off or killed!†Willie was on the verge of losing it again, he always had short episodes when under stress and started making up whatever he could to make himself blameless.

“You’ve been cut off? I highly doubt that.†Church shook his head knowingly.

“Effectively, I go for my contacts and they’re under the crosshairs before me and I’m suddenly out of business!†Willie retaliated harshly. He’d begun to even gesticulate, it was about time for Church to think about leaving once the arms started flailing.

“I see. Well, have fun with that I need you to look up something for me.†Church said returning to his calm and businesslike tone to cut off Willie’s hysterics.

“A decoy?†Willie asked suspiciously. As easily as he’d gotten into his tizzy he was straight out of it again. It was enough to make Church laugh but he knew that would only lead things down a bad road so he contented himself with a sigh.

“Both a decoy and a real job.â€

“I’ll see what I can do.†Willie lied. He was a bad liar for an information broker but it was convenient at the very least.

“You should know this off the top of your head since you’re my point of contact.†Church said ignoring Willie’s grimace.

“What?†The grimace stayed.

“Was anyone else being searched for? Any other bounties put up?â€

“Four new bounties including the up on yours showed up related to a case they call Chainsaw Man. I have no clue what is going on other than that.†Willie wasn’t lying this time but something had made him nervous again.

“You should know priority at least.†Church picked at it, there was more to it than the bare facts.

“Top secret, the lot of it. I only found out because of some assistant with no experience that the Chevalier brought along.†Though Willie was quick to admit anything, it didn’t necessarily mean it was true.

“I see. So they‘re interested in him too…†Church closed his eyes and smiled in thought.

“Kirk, you know I hate that look.†Willie told him nervously.

“I know the other three bounties that have been put out. I just need to know who’s in charge of each case directly to act.†Church finally replied, opening his eyes and leaning back.

“You want me to dig?†Willie sighed exasperatedly.

“If at all possible. If they come for you again don’t tell them anything about this job that would connect it to me; say it was for a man named Artorius.†Church took a look back at the front window. Still no sign of the tail, though it couldn’t be too far behind him at this point.

“Who?†Willie asked dumbly.

“It’s a perfect fall don‘t worry about more than that.†Church smirked, he would get his revenge on that guy sooner than he’d hoped.

“I’m not worrying about you.â€

“Wouldn’t expect it. Well, I think my tail has caught up so just lay low for a while.â€
Church said casually as he pushed his stool from the counter and prepared to leave.
“What should I expect?†Willie asked, he looked quite flustered and worried but it was all that could be expected of him.

“Thumbscrews.†Church licked his lips as he spoke to accentuate his point. “Ciao.†Church half expected Willie to say something but alas, he wasn’t in such luck. So he lazily dropped a few bills for his untouched drink and walked out into the blinding sunlight. With a hand shielding his eyes he quickly scanned the area to his satisfaction and turned back in the direction he’d come from. The tail hadn’t really caught up but they’d notice it if he passed Willie’s place for sure. So he’d have to double back and make sure that he made another stop to let them collect another data point and anticipate his moves. Moves that he never would make all of his jobs were finished in spite of what he’d told Willie and all that was left was to deliver the last piece of the puzzle to his home base. After that he hadn’t planned much more than hiding underground for ten years. Suddenly Church came upon the place he was looking for, unlike Willie’s it was a permanent fixture of the city and also unlike Willie’s it was a burned out residence in considerably worse shape. Church entered through the remains of the doorway and found himself in a familiarly broken home. It was where he’d found Copper Scythe.

Children lined the cracked walls, the little things looked all like death, the areas where the roof had caved in and let in sunlight even more clearly depicted their emaciated sordid forms. Some sucked on the remains of their meals from last week from the garbage they’d found it in, others didn’t have that luxury. Each looked up at Church with hollow, dead eyes and most slumped back against the walls after a brief glimpse of him others tried to reach out and plead silently for sustenance. Church simply shook their raggedly clothed skeletal arms aside and continued on further into the house.

Eventually he found what he was looking for, a single door. It was set up in the middle of what was once probably a bedroom and was the one thing in the house that Church recognized as totally familiar. It hadn’t changed in the slightest since he left, it was the same peeling yellow door with the remains of what appeared to be a flower print around the center. Church scoffed at it, the first door he’d gone through when he left home brought him to that room, it was total chance and yet he still felt a vague connection with the place. Church quickly drew his map key when he heard heavy footsteps below, he had to let them know exactly where he was going this time. This time he wasn’t going to lose anything.

On the other side of the door was a simple room that looked to be the exact reverse of the one he’d just left. Everything about it was kept well in order and normal. That was because it was his own home in a another life when he had worked for the Escherian government he was a different person and this place reminded him so bitterly of that experience.

“I’ve come here to reminisce.†He said to the voice activated computer he’d installed.

“Recognized.†Replied the computer in a low rumbling timbre.

“Walsh is good as dead guys, so why not ease up on the search?â€

“Sharpe.†A voice from behind him filtered through the metallic interference that plagued the disused line.

“So you guys do keep tabs on this line. Good to know.†Church laughed, it was one of his former colleagues that he'd stolen a particular tome from. There couldn't have been a more perfect person to use for this particular conversation.

“What do you think you’re doing?†The man asked sharply. He was , understandably, keeping his guard up.

“Telling you where I am of course.†Church replied plainly.

“Are you joking?†The man's voice shook with what could have easily passed as anger.

“In a way, I am.†Church smirked, no one could see it but he had a feeling the man on the other end would know it.

“Cut to the chase.†He finally answered.

“Oh how very ten years ago of you. I was getting to it when I was rudely interrupted and now I don’t feel like talking anymore, maybe I should cut off the line. Does that sound good?†Church threatened goodnaturedly. “Thought not. Now take a close listen to this Nils. I am unaware of your plans but I somehow get the feeling that what I posses is what you desire and I also get another feeling… do you want to here that one too?†Church asked with an exaggerated earnestness. “Of course you information staved bastards do. I’ll tell you then. You want the Murderer. That’s all for now kiddies, come and get me if you can find the right door.

"I doubt your tail can get in without a map key however so I’ll tell you how to get to this place so you can send one over to him. In the lower east end of the Nadipolis ghetto you’ll find a debunk orphanage full of skeletons. On the top floor a single door will be the way in.†With that Church made haste to unlock his door with his scythe’s key and check the world behind it. It was suitable given his knowledge of it and it wouldn’t be easy to find him after a random jump so he left the door open to that world and listened to the men physically on the other side of it.

“You’re surrounded.†A voice from a bullhorn declared authoritatively.

âLike I care.†Church walked through the door and left Nils and the special forces units around his home and on the other side of the true door many worlds behind.

Church found himself in Celien a world of antiquity and an easy place to lose yourself in the crowds of lock users on the run. It was a good hiding place while he waited for the next stage of his plan to enact itself and to begin contemplating the plans for after success or failure. The sea winds reached his nostrils and he instinctively buried his face in his sleeve. For the second time in a day he was in a place he’d once thought of as home.

So, thought Church, “It’s a bad day.â€





Quick Note: For those who don't get it, kirche is German for church.

Blue balls too I suppose?

For the record, it was Time who put the roofies in my drink not me.

Looks like a mediocre manga. I don't get it.

I kinda like that I rolled once and got something and you guys are still at it.

He only just came back recently after a while away.

Mabinogi comes from the Welsh set of stories called the mabinogion. Mabinogion made an appearance as a book creature in Folklore.

/what I know without looking anything up