It's time to move in. You cautiously head down into the alley. No one there lurking about, good. So you head around back, can't be too careful. The facade is intact. Alright, then. You feel for the edge, there it is. The facade falls away and you ease it to the ground. The door is dusty but a can of WD-40 you left near the jamb helps keep the hinges quiet. You look in and look behind you. Nothing on both accounts. You open the door, slide underneath the press and draw a bead on a human shape. Tall, muscular, spiky ha-- fuck. You stand up and call out to him. He surprisingly does indeed respond to being called a Sour Kraut, he even turns on the lights for you. He's a big bruiser, probably twice your weight in sweat coated wife beater clad muscle. He calls you Snowflake as venomously and disdainfully as his thick German accent can translate. You ask him what he's doing in your garage. He says that he's checking your security. You ask him to kindly mop up his mess and leave. He says that the kid at the door isn't his. You balk and fire a round into his leg. He's always wearing those ridiculous bulletproofed trousers so he grunts angrily and flips the bird at you. He asks what you're doing here. You tell him it's your damn garage and he needs to fuck off before you bruise his kneecaps. He asks if a man named Fiorre tried to hire you for a two year long job. You tell him he's calling him self Gregory now. He asks if you'll help him kill him. You refuse flat out. There's no reason to kill Remiel now. Sour frowns and tries to convince you that there's a problem with this. You tell him to refuse the job if he hates it so much. He said he already did. You ask him why he cares so much then. He says, that the guy is probably going to kill him for it though. You say he's being paranoid and shoot him in the other leg to remind him how much he annoys you. He groans more at your uncooperative behavior than the pain. He says that you better refuse too. You tell him that you already accepted because you like money. He grumbles something about you being too full of yourself and then stalk out saying that this isn't the end of it. You sigh before recovering the Anzio. It weighs a good 145 lbs and even in it's special carrying case is really cumbersome. Next you [] Clean up the body. [] Get everything else in this joint and ditch it altogether. [] Chase after Sour Kraut. [] Make a call.
I personally don't like things that are too free form. I prefer structure and wish I was good so that I could pull it off. A lot of the books that I like for the actual writing from are Victorian novels. At one time they were my goal, but I've long since given up entirely. I'm not good and I'll never be good with the amount of time and effort I put in, so I might as well not delude myself.
I don't remember you being Amaury.
It's probably better because it's shallow and I'm not really trying to convey much beyond direct actions, I'm trying to let your guys figure out what the character is and decide for yourselves. So in a way, I'm not really the only writer there.
I actually was under the impression that I've gotten much worse. I'm still bad about editing for grammar and I still don't really know how much is too much and how much is too little and I really have kind of lost motivation in general.
In all fairness, the sample from mine was written in 2009. Though, I still feel like there must be other originals out there to choose from. Darunter is a patchwork of trainwrecks in my opinion and Cargo is barely a one off, no offense intended.
astrophysics is a strong entry. This is coming from me who DOES NOT EVEN APPROVE OF FREE VERSE. You're good and people are openly willing to admit it, you're going to have to come to terms with that.
Attestation and generally consenting opinion.
Llave, no votes Cherry, no votes What is wrong with you people?
If we're going by samples, To Know Terror is the strongest, in my opinion. It has great atmosphere and stays very nice and self contained despite being a derivative work. I don't see the appeal of the Hunger Games RP prologue because I have never read or seen Hunger Games. It hinges too heavily on knowing what's going on already and basically overlooks the exposition aspect that is needed for those who don't already get it. Also, rasp is a verb in this case, not a noun. Rasp the noun is a tool so that's word misuse at the get go. I like They Live on the Beach, but it's not amazing. It doesn't really inspire emotion or anything. It's just a nice little, "I see what you did there, nice work," that I feel here. Technically good, but still showing a bit of incompleteness, is that I'd say. If I'm judging writers, I'd need more to go on so I'm gonna look around a bit, but if past experience is any indicator, Plums is the current frontrunner in my head.
I gave all three a once over before voting and though I went with Disconnect in the end, I'd like to really impress upon everyone how much I enjoyed A Voice in the Dark. It basically exceeded all my expectations for it as a KH fanfic and had very few notables flaws. It created atmosphere admirably and if not for Disconnect's amazing synergy with the two collaborators, I would have easily voted for it.
Never thought I'd see the day.
You call out to the man but remain somewhat hidden. He jumps like a frightened jackrabbit and starts waving around a dirty looking pistol, looking for the source of the sound. You tell him not to panic and that you're here to help. He still has no idea where you are. You tell him that he needs to tell you what happened here quickly before you see how much he likes it without his other arm. He freezes. You tell him that as long as he does as you say he'll be fine. You first tell him to drop the gun, kick it away and get all of his comrades to do the same. He drops the gun and kicks it away says he's alone, you tell him lying is a sin. He swears up and down that he's alone. You tell him to step away from the garage then. You see no one, but they could be further inside. He still doesn't see you but seems to be very close to running away. Now you ask him to remember that you first told him he'd be fine if he explained what happened. He does so ploddingly. He explains how he and his dead buddy noticed this place was empty and thought they could bust in and steal what was inside. You tell him that was stupid and his friend was dead because of it. He said that he didn't know. You have half a mind to just put him out of his misery now. You don't though, no point in killing someone you're not getting paid to. You tell him to scurry off and don't tell anyone about this or you'll know. By the way he moved you could tell he wasn't a pro and by the way he talked you could tell he probably wasn't lying. Best to be careful anyways, next you [] Make a C4 grenade to clear out the front in case someone's hiding there. [] Walk in through the back and shoot whoever you see. [] Follow the scared man a bit. [] Look through your phone for someone to call.
We can't speak anymore. I'm sorry. I don't count any route where you don't get to first base.
Only finished Rin route then stopped. Emi kept trying to kill me. Shizu kept trying to keep me away from the delicious drills. Lily made me feel like a slob. Hanako kept running away.
Move the foot down and turn it outwards slightly.
You draw your Walther and gain a better vantage point in building across the alley. There are no signs of movement in the garage. Strange. You didn't see a body at the entrance, someone must have moved it or less likely the wound was only superficial. You would wait a bit. There was no rush, the great thing about the back entrance was that it was covered by a false wall on the outside and a drill press. No traps, just hard to see and hard to get through. So there isn't much of a threat of them making their way out without you hearing them break through the windows or back out through the front door. So you sit for a bit and wait. Nothing for five minutes. No signs of movements or indications of anything happening. You decide it's time to check around the sides and back. It's annoying going the long way around the rooftops, but it's better than getting close and being taken by surprise. No damage to the windows or anything. No signs of leaving through the back. You hear a claymore going off followed by a shotgun. Ah, so they tried to leave and missed the exit trap. Good for them. You go to check it out immediately, sure enough you see a body and a horrified looking man with a bloody bandage wrapped around the stump of his arm. He must have triggered the first trap. You [] Kill him now. [] Get down from the roof and handle him down in the alley. [] Shout down to him and threaten. [] Watch for more intruders.
I have my laptop and my tablet, but I don't have the God Hand. Fuck.
It's so embarrassing. Why is everyone so much better than me?
They made a boss for you. But they dropped it.
