I dropped Bakuman nearly two years ago. I mean, I didn't dislike it in the beginning, but it became a constant rehash and flattening of side characters to fit roles without any true progress to the story.
This is so completely and utterly... disgusting.
I can't speak for Jube but, my problem is not with secret identities. It's with heroes. I don't want to see someone going out an saving someone else in that ridiculously over the top fashion. I don't want to see someone fight crime. I don't want to see someone taking up a burden because they just feel so responsible for the good of mankind or people within their sight or what have you. I don't want to see someone protecting their loved ones from anything but totally mundane situations. I don't want heroes at all. I don't want them or anything that comes with them. The more I read of anything the more I realize, I just want a simple story with people who can do what people can do. It's more interesting. More than half of my favorite manga series feature no superpowers or even much direct combat related conflict. The same can be said of webcomics. I only follow a few western comics at the moment because money is such an issue there, but my favorite, Nonplayer, has nothing to do with heroes.
Them trying to dub Jojo with the industry as it is now makes me cringe.
Rude would be saying that to her personally. Here, it's just voicing an opinion.
Good to see she's still white trash that doesn't contribute anything to society as a whole.
Didn't like phantom blood or steel ball run. The rest ranged from decent to great.
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This is my fetish.
Right foot should be altered to match the left foot or left foot should be changed to match the right. They need to be the same size or proportions. I personally like her right foot, from her perspective, better for the whole style but it could go either way. Same thing for the arms. Also, her chin looks like it doesn't match the flow of the face. On either side it looks like it's gonna be a long continuous curve from one side to the other as it is it looks like the come to a screeching halt, curve the opposite way for a bit then continue. If you went for that slight indentation, you should make the shadows reflect that. A lot of these things are pretty hard to see if you're not looking to criticise so there shouldn't be any trouble with leaving it, but if you want to make it better that's what I've got to tell you
Alright, gonna rearrange some of my original ideas to put them into a more coherent form for those who liked it already and want a more detailed/explicit form to work with. Premise: This site remains a website we visit. The windows into the story will be three main characters. A new member, a veteran member and either an old member, returning old member or a banned member(there's a lot that can be done with this third person but it is difficult for me to express exactly what). The real world still exists as just that and our characters live in both. Each character is presented with a real world problem and the overarching site problem. The site problem and the real life problem develop simultaneously until experience with one helps the character solve the other and take that back to their final remaining problem. This should be more fun for most people because it's more of an exaggeration of what is rather than a totally fictional setting with random cameo appearances and shenaniganry. Storytelling: I have two options here: 1) we do this in three acts(or routes) and have each act dedicated to one protagonist showing a linear progression from new to old and reviewing the same online events three times from different perspectives, showing something about how information and perspective mean everything. This allows us to keep their real world events nice and neat and separated. It does mean going through some of the same material over again so it might hinder the whole musical aspect since the musical bits are the online bits which are all in common. It might serve as motivation to have each person's online activities more distinct than I'd initially thought. 2) we do this all in one go and bounce around from protag to protag from scene to scene, like a book or play might. Now this allows everything to happen once and only once. But we only get each event from one perspective or a group perspective possibly. This might make storytelling a bit less personalized for each of the characters. It also makes time management a little different. Characters: While pretty much all participating members are fair game for fixtures, we need protagonist(s). Everyone seems awfully taken with the idea of an original character and I understand why. However, the proposed storytelling method has this new member accompanied by a veteran member and another character. The veteran member should be someone who is well known here but doesn't necessarily need to be an old member. Their role in this is to provide perspective from someone who is a part of the the main community already and sees things through that perspective. The third member is a bit of an issue for me because there needs to be some kind of balance to the new member. The veteran is more of a middle ground. This third member needs to represent the side of the side that is both older and less likely to be a part of every change. Someone who is clearly a little out of step with the current mainstream but more in touch with the core of what it is to be a member here. All of the characters can technically be made up but I would only suggest that the new member be made up. The other two would need to be picked based on the actual person's willingness. Though I suggest asking directly rather than letting people volunteer, at least for the third spot. The idea with the spectrum of characters is to best show the site how we see it. To best make this something that we can look at and have someone to identify with or root for. In many ways it's just as much about perspective of the viewer as it is the perspective of the characters. Tone: I don't like "dark" or "gritty" I like comedy and barring that realism. I'd prefer we try to keep this more or less reasonable. It can have ups and downs but there is no need to have one outweigh the other in a significant way. Set: The Real- it's the real world. Each character has to deal with it every day and there will be scenes dedicated to important parts of it. The Site- it's where the main story occurs. Instead of just putting a pure text wall down we can play with the setting since a lot of what goes online is abstract and subject to more imagination than the real is. So we can take a background skin from the site to start with and then embellish upon it and work with it to make a little make believe world. Within that world we have all the sections, each with their own flavor and corresponding change in art style or design. The musical numbers happen here so we have a reason for people to be bursting into song (the reason being because it's a world of pure imagination but whatever.) The Megachats- I've decided I would really like to have a few scenes where people go off site to talk. Things are wilder here, a lot more things can happen and a lot more characters can talk disjointedly. So we keep the same idea as the site but maybe make the thing exclusive to a few musical numbers rather than main dialogues. The idea here is to show the full spectrum of events that go into what makes things happen on the site. Dialogue: Carried out normally in the real and the site. Carried out through music on the site and megachat conversations. This is just the simplest and most coherent way to go about this. Art: The characters will have real world versions of themselves that are more or less true to form. However, they will also have online versions of themselves which will be decided by the artists or by committee as we progress. Music: As with all musicals each number should progress the story and tell you what the singers are feeling or thinking. Plot: A kid in, let's say middle school, joins the site one day. He or she will travel around the site and through a musical number discover what it's all about. This kid becomes a regular to escape the real/have fun/be themselves/find themselves/whatever their real life deal is. There is a huge to be determined problem with/on the site. The new member follows the development and handling of this issues and possibly helps to solve it. A member who's been here for a bit and is all up on the latest trends and gossip is visiting the site when the nonspecific issue arises coincidently with a personal problem. They fight with both issues and with the help of music they succeed. Nothing for the last undecided guy, sorry. Specifics(?): I'll leave all those up to you guys. This is all I have to say.
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What do you think makes a good character? Characters are, in my opinion, the hardest thing to do correctly in any given medium. In a film you've got 2 minutes to define the character and at most 2 hours to flesh them out. In a book you've got to describe them, but you don't want to get bogged down in telling when you should be showing. That all established, I think a good character depends on what they're supposed to do and what their context is. Sometimes a character with a ton of good lines qualifies, sometimes it's that one character who does and says so little that the few things they end up doing make them a total standout. In general, I'd say good characters need to feel three dimensional, fleshed out or real depending on how you want to word it. They need to feel like they've got a real presence and being. They need to say and do things that make the audience think consciously or unconsciously that, "This is something character would say/do." The need to be a person. That right there makes a character at the very least internally consistent and that means so much more than many people know. To go beyond that you've got to make the character accomplish their goal. Is it a villain? Then make them supremely hateable. Is it a hero? Make them the kind of person that would save people, maybe even the kind of person you'd like being saved by. You can then choose to complicate, reverse, invert or blend roles and goals but your character should no matter what stay true to form. If they change in some way it needs to be in their character to have changed. A ball won't fall without gravity, a character won't change without a push in that direction. Next you need to have a place for the character. A position in the plot and in the lives of the other characters. If a character doesn't have good meaningful interactions you're basically relegating it to the unused pile. Creating a good solid character can only happen if you creating a corresponding group dynamic. How do To go further than that is really beyond me. I don't know what you do after you make your character internally consistent and pointed. Maybe you try to cater to the audience or try to change the audience's opinion to fall in line with what you do. But at the end of the day, a character is a person and you should make people believe that. It's a real shame that I can't give any specific advice, but characters are an amorphous part of writing and there are too many formulas and ways to go about it. What are some examples of good and bad characters you've seen (can be from any medium, film, novel, etc.) Why do you feel this way? I'll let this one pass. I'll just say bad is not the opposite of good in this case so much as a lack of it. Failure isn't defined by what you do as much as what you don't do. I'll leave it there. What are some characters that you've written before? Describe them. What do they look like, what are their motivations, what's their personality like, what are their fears, etc.? In order from newest to oldest. 2 years ago Erica...um...Smith(because Smith is generic)- Appearance: 5'6". Shoulder length brown hair. Blue eyes. Pale skin, some freckles. Massive scarring to arms, legs and torso. Dress: Pastel color palettes on sweaters and cardigans punctuated with black skirts and striped stockings. Hair clips keep hair looking more managed. Motivation: I could say she's motivated by love and probably get away with it, but I feel like it runs a lot deeper than that. She puts herself in danger to protect the people who are important to her with the intention of helping, but she doesn't do it because she feels they need protecting so much as she feels like she has something to prove to herself and possibly everyone else. It has something to do with an inferiority complex built into her character that makes her go so over the top.and out of her way. In the beginning I wrote her to be a side character in something bigger who was aware enough of her metaposition to want more so failure and contradiction have been kind of built into her modus operandi from day one. Personality: She'll do the right thing to make herself feel better, but she's self conscious enough to feel guilty about it. Overall not the most agreeable person, even pretty abrasive at times but she doesn't mean it, she just doesn't like portraying herself as completely bland and doesn't really have a better way of spicing up her personality. History: Stereotypical childhood friend character who gets shunted off to the side when the magicshit gets revealed. In a misguided attempt to help she ended up severely injured and hospitalized. When she made it back home she tried to distance herself from her old social group and forget all that nonsense. It doesn't really work. When the stress really gets to her she decides to go out and make another misguided decision related to more magicshit. She's feeling like this time is going a lot better so far. 3 years ago Arica Aden- Appearance: 5'8". Chin length dark auburn hair. Green eyes. Slightly tan skin. Thin build and athletic figure. Dress: Red and white Chuck Taylors, faded green cargo pants, dark blue hoodie and black beanie cap. Motivation: She wants to preserve her current lifestyle. She likes how things are more or less and her motivation is to keep things familiar and comfortable. Personality: She's more often than not aloof and unsociable around even people she knows not for lack of wanting to talk but for lack of wanting to talk to just anyone. While she's not as quick witted or intuitive as some people, she is still smart, just in a less pronounced way. She is the kind of person that has a routine and really follows it. She always knows where she's going and what she's doing, never lost or at a loss. When faced with something new she'll frequently become frustrated, but if she ever does get a handle on it, she's not going to let it go. History: Relatively normal life. He parents are the interesting ones and she knew it. Especially her father who went around to world conferences on martial arts with fair regularity as a keynote speaker or guest of honor. She always just assumed her parents would always be there, that nothing could touch such amazing people. In high school as she was beginning to open up to her classmates her father had an accident and wound up in a coma causing her to give up on forming connections for another four years until she started having strange dreams and premonitions of her own death. 4 years ago Guy Loser- Appearance: 5'10". Short light brown hair. Hazel eyes. Lightly tanned skin. Middle of the road build, but muscular. Dress: Pinstriped suit to match his partner. Motivation: Admiration for Edwina Laud. Personality: Follower. He's incredibly capable when it comes to technical work, but can't lead even himself. He tends to follow people that he sees as superior to him, that's how he wound up as the ace's errand boy. History: Son of a common midwest family he joined the military and quickly rose to prominence in his unit. Upon returning from his tour he was asked to join the NSA to work on special missions. He would have refused if the person asking hadn't been Edwina Laud. A particularly forceful woman with skills that easily shamed the veteran Loser. From then he worked hard to get a spot in the same office as her and after several years he accomplished his goal. They're technically a team now but he's clearly the lackey in this relationship. 6 years ago Callum Byron- Appearance: 5'9". Shaggy black hair. Brown eyes. Pallid skin. Skinny. Dress: T-shirt and shorts. Motivation: Whatever is in front of him. Personality: Caution punctuated by impulsiveness. He's still a kid in the end. He doesn't have some great overarching goal or motivation to make him do anything. He likes exploring his world but he won't really fight the flow too much. He's a reactive rather than driven or proactive but will sometimes act otherwise when dealing with something new. Before entering Escher he was far more reserved and disinterested. History: Fairly average upbringing didn't prepare him to deal with losing his mother to a serial killer. After finding and assaulting the killer he retreated into himself and stopped doing anything at all. He refused to see a psychologist and his father didn't have the heart to force him. So he spent the next few years of his life standing still. When a random storystarting magicshit event occurred he ended up entering Escher, another world, and started living his childhood again albeit far more dangerously than most would. Would you be friends with your character? Why? Erica? No. She's overly emotional and quite frankly really annoying. Pitiable yes, likable no. Arica? No. She's basically me as a literary character. I wouldn't be able to make nice with a storyme. Guy? No. He's quieter than me. We'd never get a conversation started between the two of us. Callum? No. He's got basically nothing in common with me. ask to have your character critiqued, and receive feedback on them. Sure. Do as you choose.
I get the feeling that this is definitely moving along... not exactly sure where. However, I like that. I like that I don't know everything in certain terms. I like the atmosphere here. Sometimes I feel that just building a feeling for a world is more important than having all the details and consistency laid plain for all to see. It gives you a better sense of what is there than you could get from a lot of raw data. Anyway, I'm glad you're not taking this too fast or too slow and I'll probably follow as long as you continue writing.
Becoming Popular Well, it's certainly something that could happen as a result.
Chaos;Head was complete and utter ****. Steins;Gate was contender for best of 2011. I have high hopes for Robotics;Notes based on what I've heard so far. It'll be the only thing I'm following week to week this season. Also, Code;Breaker is going to be ****. I read the manga before it was popular until it was beyond a shadow of a doubt confirmed neverending shounen. My horrible shounen senses aren't just tingling, they're causing massive earthquakes throughout the area.
I apologize.I make no excuses. But at the same time the idea is still pretty vague, if anyone's up to supporting it they should also be up to filling out the rest of it.
More? Um. I dunno, I'm not too sure. I prefer to think in frameworks and let the details settle themselves in the actual writing phase. So I can't really give you more. Have you ever seen a play or a film where characters are clearly listening to a story or reading a book but they don't show them rapt with attention or sitting staring at a page? It's that kind of concept. You show the person sitting down and booting up and then they open their browser and login, that's when the page shows up and we pan inwards towards the pixels watching them become more and more blocky with the closeness and then we allow that to fade into the representational form of the site. From there everything will be just go on like anything else we move from region to region as if walking and interactions are as I said earlier primarily musical. To adapt this to a VN style, just make it like a picture book sequence of what I just described. It should take about 5 different images to make the transition and from there, like I said, it's just normal. I find it extremely hard to articulate such an amorphous idea, such a fledgling concept. I honestly think it's a bad idea and that it'll never really resonate with people or agree with everyone. It's just not got that certain appeal to it that'll allow people to get involved in it.
