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I've been depressed now for 15 weeks. but all i do is normally say everything is fine and smile. i can't seem to tell anyone that i'm not happy. i did tell one teacher and we used to talk once a week but i stopped coming sense i felt it did not help after 6 weeks. and now it is to hard for me to go back to her. i can't be happy for long. only when i'm with close friends. but as soon as there gone i'm back un happy. should i hang out with them or is it just a distraction? i just can't see what to live for anymore. i know that is just how depression works. but i can't see things as happy anymore. i can't even think of what is so wrong making me like this anymore. sometimes i get really mad for little things, but after it i just take it out on my self that i got mad over it. i feel i'm constantly judged by others when i'm probably not. i can't see much clearly like i used to. i don't enjoy anything i used to do and don't want to do any thing any day. it's so hard to fall asleep because laying down in the dark all i can think about is my own thoughts and they don't let me sleep. and i've started cutting my self. though i know it is wrong i can't seem to stop, it makes me feel a little when i do.
i don't' really know why i'm posting this. sort of i just want to tell someone or if any of you know how to get un depressed or anything really.