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The Different Kinds Of Poo


Ghost poo
That's the kind where you feel the poo come out, have poo on the toilet paper, but there is no poo in the toilet.


Clean poo
The kind where you poo it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.


Second Wave poo
It happens when you're done pooing, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to poo some more.


Brain Hemorrage poo
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " poo. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.


Sweetcorn poo
Self Explanatory

Log poo
The kind of poo that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush

Drinkers poo
That is the kind of poo that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .


"Gee I wish I could poo" poo
Its the kind of poo where you want to poo, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.


Spinal Tap poo
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.


Wet Cheeks poo Also known as "The Power dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.


Liquid poo
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.


Mexican Food poo
A class all its own

The Crowd Pleaser
This poo is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.


Mood Enhancer
This poo occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.


The Ritual
This poo occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper

Guiness Book of Records poo
A poo so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations

The aftershock poo
This poo has an odour so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.


The Honeymoons over poo
This is any poo created in the presence of another person.


Groaner
Apoo so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this poo has been known to resurface after many flushes.

Ranger
A poo which refuses to let go.
It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

Phantom poo
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there.

Peek-a-boo-poo
Now you see it, now you don't. this poo is playing games with you.
Requires patience and muscle control.

The bombshell
A poo that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to poo (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near pooing facilities.


Snake Charmer
A long skinny poo which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic poo This poo occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers poo.