You like the taste of your own spunk, so unless you plan on somehow getting that thing in your ass sometime, you're still part straight ..like, 10% straight, spunk eater.
Terra, no! Terra, stop! Terra, why!? TERRA!
We were lucky enough to get Reverse/Rebirth. Riku is cool, but Nomura making a game all about him?..not likely.
Leave Anti-Crockers ALONE!
Nice usage of words. I wish it was longer because a story like this could go far if you intended it to.Seemed pretty sudden that she was branded a 'traitor' just out of the blue.Did the white of her coat fall out ..surely she must've known her white was missing, right?
Seems like a general Looney Tunes idea. I'd work on splitting the writing into better paragraphs, and space them away too so its easier to read.I read the same line three times because it was so close together.
Story has the potential to be good, but what I find you lack most is detail and emotional portrayal.I mean she gets sucked into a portal, right? What is she feeling, Fear? portray that in her head or with her body.You're main character didn't really find anything as shocking as a normal person would.You can move water ..'zomg I can move water lololoz' I think she took it lightly =/ Anyway, those two things are the problems I see, but keep writing anyway and lets see how it works out.
Wow, that was pretty good!A little more description in some parts and it'll be perfect, to me at least.Either way it was fun to read. Good work!
The only part I somewhat liked was the theme song conversion, you might wanna try harder with the story next time.
Okay... The capitals in every word were not needed and annoying to boot.You should save capitals for the beginning of a sentence, and names, things like that.The fact that CoM battle standards were brought up outside of Castle Oblivion.I don't think you stated where they were, so I'll assume its this 'bridge' you're talking about in the title.Grammar errors here and there but it isn't a big deal to me. I tried enjoying the story but everything up above ^ bugged me a bit.
Oh, I see--..wait ...Flyn is a GIRL!? ..Well, this is awkward.
Wow, that was pretty cool Cam.Reminded me of Lord of the Rings a bit.Keep writing.
The last half of the poetry was probably the must memorable in the entire thing, at least for me.It wasn't bad at all, really.
I found it good in a very, very odd way. I can see it as a commercial for Heinz or something lol. ..but ketchup in pie? and chips?
"..Of all the people to come by, it had to be you.." muttered Axel, his back against the wall of a shop in Hollow Bastion.Turns out that Vexen appeared right in front of him.With Roxas gone, he lacked anyone worthwhile to talk to ..get to know, everything.And there were unanswered questions ..he and Roxas could've talked about something like that. But he guessed his existence wasn't that lucky.The scientist would know, right? "I've been hearing some strange things from Twilight Town Vexen ..have you picked up on anything? he questioned.
Normally an amused smirk would have been put on due to Demyx and his attempt to lighten things up, but between the ****** comment he caught from Larxene, as well as her attitude given just because he tried giving a few orders out, suitable ones might he add, he just didn't bother firing back.As much as she might think he was a coward for keeping his mouth closed, Axel had more important things to deal with than a loud mouthed girl with the temper of a bull.His existence was on the line here, and if this serial killer was the real deal then power was what was needed.As he proceeded further down the hall he noticed the voices behind him growing distant, but someone was approaching him from behind. Was it Larxene? ..no, his ears might've fallen off due to her needless bitching. Maybe Demyx? ..Nah, he wasn't nearly losing his mind yet. He was placing his bet on Roxas, and to be sure that decision was the right one he looked over his shoulder. From only the first glance, Axel saw Roxas taking the situation seriously and keeping his eyes peeled for anything odd, out of the ordinary, or threatening.And from the looks of it, he would be the only one accompanying him as they headed downstairs, on foot, to get the power back.Tch ..and for the sake of the others to survive as well, and as much as he wanted to say Larxene was expendable, her incredible speed and her gifted element would prove useful in many points in time.But he needed her cooperation, something that was always difficult to get unless you were the Superior,Xemnas.But Xemnas was having some beauty sleep ..and a leader wasn't exactly chosen yet. Thunder boomed once more, a streak of lightning lighting up the pitch black sky and filling the halls with its sudden flash of light.No doubt Demyx was crapping himself by now."..Things look bad, but if we're careful we can get through this." was the response given, softly, as his gaze went to his best friend.Unlike the others, Roxas was young and couldn't comprehend images like Vexen and his sliced corpse.He sympathized, but didn't underestimate the usefulness Roxas could provide. _ "..No song?" Demyx asked Zexion as he sheepishly walked over, running his hands along the Sitar carefully.Here he was trying to cheer everyone up so they wouldn't be worried, especially himself, but now no one even asked for a song.They could be such jerks sometimes ..all he wanted to do was help in the best way he could.Not a 'Thanks for trying to help, Demyx.' or a 'Wow, you're such a thoughtful person, Demyx.'Hmph, he had his uses, no one just bothered using them. Hmph, I bet if I catch this guy they'd beg me to be their best friend! I can just imagine it ..Demyx, the man who saved the Organization. he stopped in front of Zexion and allowed the Sitar to bubble out of physical appearance and rest in a safe place until it was needed for personal pleasure, or a fight.Either of the options were likely, and it hurt to admit that too.He was a lover, not a fighter.Heck, even the bookworm Zexion could probably beat him if he tried. Oooooh but he'd get a good shot in, so help him he would.His reputation among the Organization was always associated with 'Coward' or 'Weakling'. But his time would come, and when it came, he'd mock the others when they needed him. 'Save us, Demyx!' they would cry out for his aid, but would he help them? Yes ..but not after milking it a little. "Okay, lets try and hurry before he comes for us .." Demyx tried steadying his voice as he said this to Zexion, but the thought of some deranged psycho stalker following them around with a sharpened tool used purely for mutilating ..it almost made a guy pee himself.Granted, he did that, but it wasn't the point! Laughing nervously, Demyx clasped his hands together and looked back at Larxene."Larxene ..wanna come with us? Maybe that defense thing needs electricity ..I mean, the lights aren't working, and if we have those defense things working again, we'd be safer .." Normally he'd never bother Larxene, but the group was already appearing to be unfit for battle.Plus ..they needed light."Come on ..it'll be fun!We can sing along together and try to calm down a little, right?"
Let me know when you get online, good news.
Yes, playing Guitar and saying Phuck this and that is classic material
Agh ..all right then.
Halloween Town, right?
