I know I need to lighten u and see the bright side of things insterad of making it worse by looking at the worst things. Trust me I know but I cant have my mind set like that. its going to take time for me to learn that. I look at the bad and try to see what good I can make out of it but I get to deep into it and think "Oh...its all bad....damn theres no way out im alone" I fall into it to fast I know that. See I dont think I can win the fight. I feel like im fighting for nothing sence im already thinking about killing myself... But all in all your right so thank you.. <3 I know not to move into a molesters house but at the same time if its ordered for me I sort of have no choice... As for the foster home I will consider it but im to scared to try. If i go and things turn out good that alright. But I will need alot of time to think it over and make sure im making the right choiuce for myself. Mentaly I dont want to put myself in more danger. Mentally im a **** wreck so I need to be extra careful. And i will also try to give my dads gf a chance...
That was extreamly harsh but true.... Your right.. Thanks <3. I dont know if I can go to the police with this. He lives on the other side of the world and I dont know if they will listen to me or my mother. He creeped me out so much i deleted everything cause I didnt wana go through that. Ive been sexualy abused befor and having seeing all of what he was saying brought back fear and painfull memories... If I am forced to move with my mother there isnt much I can do... All I can do is stay locked up in my room for the next 3 years of my life until I can get to the states.... Ive tried getting tharapy I cant. My mom again dares not send me. She is afraid ill slip up about somthing... God im so pissed... Im doing what I can tgo get tharapy but right now that is years down the road... And as for my other brother trust me im trying... But at this point in time I really hate him. He left me at the worst time of my life and he knows it. Im still trying so dont worry i just really hate him.... and my life vauble? funny.... My life is in no way special or worth somthing... Right now seeing the light isnt possble...I'll keep trying ill keep moving but its ganna be so hard... And to be honest im to scared to go deeper into this life I dont want to go through anymore pain... and if i dont get schooled ill look into the GED....Believe it or not I WANT to be in school and learn...There is so much i want to do with my life but ill never get there thats really bringing me down...
I see you're point I know where you're coming from but there is no way I can get out at 18. Ive thought about it but there is no way my parents will let me get a job ive tried asking. But they said i must finish school (im home schooled my mom doesnt teach me a thing anymore -.-) even as a kid I never saw myself living long. I was depressred at the age of 6 =/ wich is real sad. Im trying not to kill myself but at times i wonder if its the only way out. I'll keep re-readin all the posts. Im doing a bit bettert today thank you so much for the help <3 There is no way in hell im going to a foster home. I could end up with a worse family and plus I will keep getting pulled form home to home. That IS NOT a option for me. If I had to go through that all the time I would be dead. I wont be able to handle contasntly moveing. And with the state of mind im in id be driven crazy/ Thanks for the help though<3 I guess your right. Maybe she is nice but I'm to scared to find out. I cant handle stuff like this right now with everything else im going through. Right now if anyone said somthing wrong id snap and kill myself fast. Its sad but its the truth. My family isnt the best and again with the mental state im in I cant handle much. I had alot of deaths this year family friends and pets. in a total there was over 5 deaths. And thats alot for me to handle. I'll think about moveing in with my dad maybe she is awsome. Thank you so much<3 No I have no family to go to. im constantly with my grandmother and over there she treats me like sh!t and that is the house I have to raise the child. that is the only family member but i dare not move in with her or I will get worse. I know its not the solution but somtimes i wonder if it is... Thanks for the help though <3...
no there is no other family members...If I live with my grandmother i will for sure die cause she is the cause of my mental problems and adds to my depression... To be hoenst I really have no where to go. And DPwolf ive tried with my other brother. hsi friends refuse to tell me how he is... no matter how hard i try i cant get ahold of him so right now im stuck
*throws mkore at you* mwhahah thank you <3 Alright see you then :3 Okies night! <3
hey can you PM me? need to ask you somthing
XD *throws mud at you* :3 Red or blue. but im open to any color <3 Hmm...so your three hours ahead...idk if ill hve a comp in the afternoon...
Lol. weird cause im both XD even at this age i like mud>.> <.< lol mostly cause im rasing a baby i play in the mud with her XD Somthing like a...
Read your post...Thanks so much for that *hugs*
The time is near, My time has come, The end is here I am done. My life is over, My time is done My fate has come It's time to go It's time to wave It's to jump It's time to cry It's time to die. You see the sky, It's blue than gray You look at the sky And then you pray You pray your okay you pray you're strong, You pray life is okay You pray life will go on
Im in desprate need of help... For years now my parents have been cheating on eachother. and sence then they have been nothing but b!tches... They never treat me right. Most of you know that so I wont go on about it.... But I heard them talking and my dad and mom have plans leaving echother in a few months...even weeks... My birthday is in January and it's possble they will be gone befor then... My brother is gana be 19 next month so he doesnt have to move with them... I see no point in hiding my age anymore... In january I will be 15. My moms bf scares me. He is a sexual man. He has even tried getting sexual with me over the net. No one believes me when I tell. He lives in Austrila.... And I don't wana move there cause im out of cali and this guy is just scary... I have no idea who my dad is dateing all I know is that she lives in washington... I dont wana move with him cause my dad has always had a bad temper...I love my parentts... But I dont wana mvoe with either of them... I have no friends to move in with...I dare not ask... With all this I feel like killing myself again... And I'm so close... I have no one to talk to anymore... I ran into a old friend and him and I have been talking but I don't want to be a bother to him... Ive thought about moving to flordia with my other brother...But for some reason he cut me off 5 months ago..No matter how hard I try to contact him he doesnt answer or write back... Ive thought about putting myself in the system... But for the mental stable I am in I would die in a matter of days.. And possbly be put in a worse family... Ive looked over what would happen if i mvoed with who... If I moved with my mom to the other side of the world Life would be uncomfortable... my pets would be put away for 6 months,I'll live with a guy who is a possble molester,I have to change my life style wich I cannot due... If I move with my dad life would be semi okay...But id have the fear if he will just dump me,I dont know what the girl is like,I'd have to deal with a *****y family.... Both of them would be the worst ever... If I loose my pets thats it... I'd be dead cause they are my only form of comfort...Befor I found this out life was hard but I was slowly getting back and and being proud of myself cause I'd make it to age 15....But not...Its impossble...I feel like I will kill myself befor my birthday...I cant attapt to new life.... I ahve stuff I just cannot tell.. But ive had to start my life over so many times... And having to do it again but this time in a diffrent state/country and in a new family....I cant... What do I do?....Please help!
No there isnt ;~; I'm sorry. At this point no one can really do anything..
eh im doing pretty crappy. ;~; hows are you? everything going well?
hi nas .
Smoke and Mirrors-Lifehouse
Had Enough - Lifehouse
All at once-The fray
Mvalentine!!!! :3
nuuuuuuuuuuu you gone again ;~;......
its ok .
