[x] Look for some new clothes. [] Leave the room. [] Search the room. [] Kill yourself. GET SOME NEW KICKS!!!!!!!!
Byond!! Then I played Runescape on and off. Runescape is where I learned. possible tits>a good friend on the internet
Critiques. For Chesterfield Snapdragon McFistycuffs; Spoiler You are the winnar. Nothing much to say here. Interaction was the key and you grabbed it and opened the door to Winning. Damn good job. For Bushy Brow; Spoiler Big-ness made me laugh. And the sweetness of him missing and worrying over her was overload. But not overloading in a bad way. A more can't get enough "Awwww" way, you know? I think a bit more of you describing the journey to the dining room would have lead you to winning. All and all, I like the style you're using to RP. And you racked up points with me by being the first to have your character already know and be on a friend basis with your partner. Keep it uuuup. For Marushi; Spoiler Over all you picked a power that added what I told you to would help you plus Kara(with her natural warm, motherly feel). And help it did. Interactions and like I said in the last challenge, feelings. Were both mixed into your post and it gave birth to something good. You. Did. Good. Girl. Though the part about her being from Earth threw me off. Lol but that's because I read the "You're from Earth, right?" paragraph really fast as if she was speaking fast and nervously to me. For Ace Phoenix; Spoiler Your intent was great. The character's personality, a bit odd, but okay. The glass ball thing was coooool. You definately would have won had it been a contest on creativity. But what I disliked most about your post was the dialogue. It just felt dull and cliche. You got detail and thought pretty down pat. But that dialogue is what I am nooooot feeling. For Dr_Wigglz; Spoiler You were doing well. Nice talk with the headmaster. Inner chat with yourself that wasn't creepy or off topic or not in character. You followed your character's self to a T and also performed today's challenge well, Gexln interacted with his partner. But just doing the challenge and having great detail isn't what's going to win this. You're getting much better, your first Gexln post doesn't compare to this one. For tummer; Spoiler Giving the book that name was a nice touch to the Demon Slayer School setting. You weren't annoying talking about fate to much. It's also good to see that your character can interact with mostly females, so it'd be interesting to see Luis interact with a guy he didn't like. So I'll keep my eye on him. Keep making magic. For master of keyblades; Spoiler Unfortunately for you, there's not much good to this post. There was no detail. There were spelling errors, not to many though. And lastly your interaction was just dialogue. Which is not how winnars are made here. Come on! >:L You can do better then this. For Britishism; Spoiler This piece was great but confusing. You interacted and kept me mildly entertained. But like I said to MoK, you can do better then this. And a bit more specifications about whether he was a new kid that knew of those kids he waved to or that he was new and was just being friendly would have made your post better.
HEY LISTEN!:This thread is a gift to Jayn. Please refrain and resist the urge to place anything that isn't positive in this thread. If you don't want people to say -insert negative words here- in one of your threads then please don't post it in mine. Thank you. Dear Jayn, "Don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know? We need each other, to have, to hold They'll see in time, I know When destiny calls you, you must be strong I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on They'll see in time, I know, we'll show them together" (I wanted you to know that I'll always be here for you. Destiny will call you, and soon, so be strong, I may not be with you so please hold on until I'm there. Then with a bit of time, we'll show them, we'll show them all.) "And I'm so grateful to you I'd have lived my whole life through Lost forever If I never knew you" (I sang this because it's your favorite duet and this part of it appealed to me. I do feel like if we hadn't gotten together, I'd be on such a bad track that my train would have been lost forever. But thanks to you. Yes you, I'm shifting and moving this train on the right path.) "It's a little bit funny this feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live" (You know everything about my financial situation. I'm flat broke and not proud of it. I want to buy you the things you want, unless it's dangerous, you know how you drop things. But I really really like buying you things to make you smile. And shopping with you is going to be a fun experience. If I did have a bunch of money, I'd invest and make more money. >.> But no one's knockin' Elton John.) "Minna minna awasete hyaku nin kazoku" (Haha. My grasp on Japanese isn't anywhere near yours. So this is the part that was most important to me becaaaaause, no matter where we go, we'll always have this huge family that relies on us as much as we rely on them and is open to just about anyone. Dango Daikazoku) "Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some choose to believe it. I know they're wrong, wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me." (I've sang this one to you a lot. And I almost didn't want to because I was worried that you be tired of it. But that's impossible! You and this song have a looooot of history. I picked this song because I think that it's to tell you that you shouldn't give up hope. Ever. You'll find it. What ever it may be. The lovers, the dreamers, and me. Just be patient and you'll prove them wrong. Wait and see.) <3 This is my gift to you Jayn. Good morning and I hope you go throughout your day, knowing that you're loved, inside and out. Unconditionally.
>.> A chicken.
Oh. o: That's because it's your choice. From Canary to Liger, we don't care. You pick it, we... call you it?
;x; Mystery child! ilu. I take my family business seriously. If I and Jayn made a mom and pops joint, we'd probably go bankrupt because we'd give more jobs to our adopted children then actually getting anything done in the store. But we don't need your money, money money! We just wanna make our family happy. Family=Love in my book.
D: What accent is that.
>:L What sort of animal are you!?
O: What kind of animal are you!?!
10k BABY! <<<<<<<<<3333333333333 Sonny joins in on this 10k vm too. c:
He watched her scurry about the house as a dark haired blur. Head quietly turning this way and that as she zoomed around him and around him. His parents picked this house with hers. But he was a bit more informed on it since his mother tended to relay gossip to him and friends since he'd been born. Patiently his seemingly vacant stare followed her, in his head he was amused. She was so frantic that it was comically kiddy and it frazzled her once perfect hair. She looked..cute in this way. So when urgency entered her voice it didn't startle him for while she ran around, he'd already written his answer to her plea. 'One bed, but there's four couches. And that's just in the living room. I'll be fine with a blanket and a cushion.'
Since they were on the side that collided with the ground, the throbbing in his back was caused by the glass shard that ripped through his shirt and created a slash across his lower back that wasn't deep, but bled a bit none the less. He sighed in relief, the little one didn't have a scratch on her. His bat was with Rosalie and he could tell that moaning that was coming from the front at any time. Then there was the thump. The thump that sounded deafening even after the noise of being in a car crash still reverberated in his ears. He got up and saw that the only thing that separated them from the zombies were the distance they were in their seats. "You're blocking the aisle!" he pointed out bluntly to the older woman, glancing backwards towards the door, "Get that door open! She can't do it herself. I'll hold them off but they'll over power me soon. Hurry!" He shoved the little girl onto her feet and into the aisle. Shoveling her and the nurse to the back of the bus and with his additional he dropped to his feet, ignoring the pain it brought to his back as he curled his fingers around the tough straps that encircled his bat's lower half. With a grin and a tilt of his head, he stood up straight and prepared himself for the homerun's that were about to begin.
186 more to go, love. <3
i luv u bby
Fuzzy B.; Critiques For Spaze; Spoiler Simply put, bravo. You wielded detail, creativity and reality wonderfully and created this short but well written piece of Role-Playing fiction. It was hard for me to choose but I eventually settled on you. You were right on target and fit the bill greatly on this one, Spazey. Congrats on your win. For Bueno; Spoiler I first met Jensen a while back in a murder mystery and I loved him then. He's as fun there as he is here. A truly brilliant character. It was tough choosing between you and Spaze. You and one other mentioned spawning on a branch, instead of the ground. And that pleased me. Jensen's dialogue, which made him much more original and realistic then the other characters here. But I eventually chose her because she told us how her character felt on the inside. And that's what would have sold me on picking you as the winner. It would have been interesting to know he was panicking on the inside or something like that. For Chesterfield Snapdragon McFistycuffs; Spoiler I honestly felt like I was reading a oddly styled book for a moment and when she hurt herself simply by trying to walk, I winced on the inside. I was thrown off a bit by the style in which you chose to write it. It's definitely unique. And not bad at all. I think it I were used to it, I'd be fine. In fact, I am fine. Now that it doesn't throw me off anymore. I leave you on this, to me there just wasn't enough talk of her senses interacting or reacting with the actual forest. Aside from that, great work here. For Bushy; Spoiler Good way of showing emotion. Details were remarkable. Plus the way you decided to write this was also good to me. A spiritually sensitive person in a mysterious forest is always cool in my opinion. However, it was missing something to me. Something I can't quite place. Wish I could but the knowledge for what I'm looking for is not there. GG though. For Britishism; Spoiler First person was a great way to start. Liked the in depth insight. And the paranoia was damn near perfect..or was it paranoia. Is there something out there? I don't know, and that's another thing I liked about your post. As Jayn mentioned before, what your character was doing physically at the moment would have been nice with this amazing monologue. Keep it up though! For Master of Keyblades; Spoiler I am a fan of Air Gear(the manga), which talks about, freedom, wings and flying. Alot. So it was nice to see you talk about them. But it seemed like you were more focused on that bird and it's freedom then your own freedom in that forest. Check your grammatical errors and stay on topic, you'll be set if you do. For tummer; Spoiler It was great to have your character remember the thing he was doing before being transported to the forest. And then incorporating that into the topic of the challenge. You earned major points with me for that. You could try telling us more insight into himself or details about something about him, other then finding his girlfriend would have made this fiction even better. For Marushi; Spoiler A writer's genius was upon to think of adding the fact that sound will filter into an unconscious person's head before the fully kick themselves into a wakeful state. A good many people have woken up because a sound was the trigger to blasting them out of sleep. And the way you described it was wonderfully colorful. From the word urgency, I was able to deduce that she was scared or panicked but I have no way of knowing for sure. So making sure we know and understand her current emotions would help us and you greatly. Also leaving us to guess at who Lance may be was very confusing. Made me wonder, is that your intent? Or was it accidentally forgotten. Over all, you did great at the beginning, the confusion set in with your ending. Keep working at it and you'll be greater then you already are! For Dr_Wigglz; Spoiler You didn't forget to dot your I's. That's for sure. Be sure to remember when and when not to capitalize your I's. And remember to punctuate your dialogue correctly or the readers will suffer. Not greatly though. This wasn't a bad paragraph What I did like about your writing was that Darkness' Sorrow was there, 'waiting' for you. Like you summoned it because you'd knew you'd subconsciously need it or something. That was a nice move. For Fuuka Yamagishi; Spoiler An excellent piece. Loved the bond between Tessa and her brother. Only had a few problems with it. They were that the two first paragraphs didn't really grab my attention. Filled me in on how she was as a person yes. But didn't really grab me and make me want to read it. Not saying you should throw in a cool dragon fighting scene. But something that isn't a bit run on. For Ace Phoenix; Spoiler You did very very very very good work here. It made me smile in a I'm-about-to-chuckle-way. Doesn't always have to be serious and scary to the reader when your character is plopped into the middle of a forest. Starting off in a tree and your comedic style earned you an A in my grade book. If you can paint a more vivid picture for me, then you'd rack up enough points to get an A+. Bluekingboy; Spoiler The spacebar is your friend when a sentence is at an end. And another sentence is right behiiiiind it. Grammar was another issue. I didn't know if you meant her shirt tore, or her shorts tore. Specification equals clarity. Aside from that, in a fight, she sounds like she'd be a great person to team up with. Anyone can improve so keep writing and shine your Role-Playing light on the world.
wat wat wat wat wat post
>:L One million messages bby. One million!
*Lurks* .------------.
loololololol
