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I don't know if that's safe.

But what if it slides back down?

I do not see what the difference is.

No.

Spoiler

For a time of year associated with pure white winter dreamscapes and laughing children it was oddly colorful and devoid of precipitation. Still, it was cold, one of the coldest years on record. The woman at the door was almost painfully aware of it around her ears and nose as she knocked. Thankfully, the door opened with a pleasant radiance of warmth almost immediately.

“Hey, Jiku.” He looks the same as before. Same dumb expression, same dumb hair, same dumb everything. She’s not sure whether to feel glad for him or to just be annoyed. It had been the better half of ten years since the last time they met face to face. It wasn’t a case of a big break up blowout and what to do, it was just normal friendship and they drifted apart normally. Like it had happened with everyone else. She adjusted her glasses and swept a lock of her long brown hair out of her face.

“Yes, me.” He didn’t bat an eyelash. It like he knew what to expect already; like she hadn’t changed a bit either. “So, how’s the missus?”

“She’s getting dressed, she’ll be out in a minute.” He paused to look over his shoulder. Jiku took the chance to steal a glance over it as well. The interior of the house was kitschy; very little boxes made of ticky tacky. Living the American Dream to the tee. “Are you sure you’re fine with looking after the kids?”

“You’re the one who only gets to go out and get rightly and belligerently twisted once a year. Are you sure you want to be giving me an out?” She was smirking at him. He was looking uncomfortably back.

“I’m not gonna be drinking. I have to drive back.” He finally said.
“Crash at the venue, come on. Live it up and get uproariously fucked up. I’m sure the missus will adore you for it.” She placed a finger to her lips. “You might even have to ask me over more often next year.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to use that kind of language in front of the children.” He said, completely ignoring her suggestion.

“I shall do my level best to restrain the urge.” Jiku sighed. People who know her usually learn to ignore the things that she most wants them to react to.

“Now like I said, I’m coming back late so once you put the kids to bed--”

“Whatever. Have fun your way. Oh, there she is.” And what a beautiful thing she is, too. Fine, straight, blonde hair; slender, graceful fingers; symmetrical face; tall even without heels on; a picture of the feminine ideal, perhaps. One would never imagine that she’d had two kids already. “So I guess that’s your cue.”

“Okay, so you know what you’re supposed to do with the--”

“You wrote it all out in the e-mail.” The brown haired woman said producing a slip of folder paper from her coat pocket. “And I printed it out for reference purposes. Come on, I’m not that unreliable.”
“They’re my kids, Jiku. I have to worry.” He said.

“Have fun your way. Now, you don’t want to be late to the party, do you?” Jiku walked into the house past him, shoved him outside and gave a small wave to the wife as she crossed the living room chasing the children away from their mess of toys in an attempt to retrieve her other shoe. She soon did. Good for her.

“Of course, yeah. Honey, we can go now!” He called out to her as she walked back into the foyer.

“Ooh, you’re honeying now?” Jiku could hardly contain her laughter. Neither of them seemed to share her interest in the joke.

“Come off it, it’s normal.”

“Oh, please tell me you ‘dear’ also.” Jiku was asking both of them now.

“Goodbye.” They said in unison as the door closed on their mutual friend.

The next moment Jiku was turned around and surveying the state of things and putting her coat and boots away.

“Hey kids.” She said with a flip of her long braid. The two children were eyeing her like sharks eyeing a bleeding fish. At ages three and five, respectively, they knew what to test against a new authority figure. It was going to be interesting.

“Hello, Auntie Jiku.” As polite as they try to be, children are always just a blatant and glaring reminder of the aging process, aren’t they?

“Yes, that is me.” She acknowledged with a certain hint of depression in her voice that was completely lost on her audience.

“So where did mom and dad go?” The elder of the two asked with a sharp expression on his pudgy, underdeveloped face.

“They went to meet with their old people friends for the only time this year they won’t be taking care of you little tykes.” The brown haired woman said taking a place in front of the children with the front hallway just to her back.

“Then what are you?” Good point.

“I’m the babysitter. That means if you make me mad I’m gonna sit on ya. Entiendes?” She laughed and ruffled his hair.

“What?” He exclaimed, trying to wrest her hand from his head to no avail. Children are so weak.

“No, that’s someone else.” She said vaguely, turning her view to the silent younger sister. She was less pudgy but still maintained that childish roundness in her features as she was clutching a stuffed toy. The temporary caretaker was fairly sure that a little blue box wasn’t an appropriate toy for a child.

“I don’t think I like you.” The elder child as he finally was freed from her light grip.

“Good thing I’m not here for you to like me. I’m here to make sure you don’t kill yourself and end up on the 9 o’clock news.” She motioned to the television and the little sister’s eyes widened like she understood. Wow, kids are smart. “I can see the headlines now. Local child cannibalizes younger sibling and then self.’ Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know what cannibalize means.” The brother said flatly.

“It’s when you eat so much you die.” Jiku lied immediately without taking her eyes off of his sister and without changing the knowing smirk on her face.

“You can’t do that.” He protested.

Jiku finally turned to him and leaned in closely. “Wanna test that empirically?”

“No.” He backed away, scared. The parents were not gonna be happy if this was the most memorable part of the night.

“Then let’s not.” Jiku laughed.

“I don’t think I like you.” He said with that face children make when you feed them foods they don’t like.

“I don’t think I do either.”

“I’m gonna tell my parents that you don’t like me.” He threatened. Jiku smiled. This was going well.

“Go ahead. I’ll tell them that you don’t like me.”

“They like me better.”

“Are you sure? Maybe I’m actually their favorite and that’s why I’m in charge today.”

“You’re only in charge ‘cause you’re old.” Ouch.

“And why do I have to be old to be in charge?” Jiku crossed her arms and pouted at him.

“Because mom and dad are old and they only trust old people like them.” The boy said confidently. What Jiku did next, not even she was expecting and it was plainly obvious that both children were completely taken by surprise as well from their reactions.

“Hahahahahahahaha.” As she laughed the two children backed away slightly.

“D-Don’t laugh.” The brother stuttered.

“I’m sorry. I just thought it was awful funny in a really apt and Cosby Show shit kids say kinda way.” Jiku said, removing her glasses to wipe the tears from her eyes.
“You said a bad word.” The little sister finally piped up. Apparently, she was the one who liked following the rules and being good. Good to know.
“I get to say those ‘cause I’m old and degenerate.” Jiku muses to herself for a moment. How well do children remember what you tell them?

“That doesn’t sound good.” The younger sister pressed further. She probably helped keep her slightly more rambunctious sibling in check.

“It isn’t.”

“Don’t you feel bad about it?” The little girl just wouldn’t let up.

“I do.”

“Why don’t you do something about it?” Jeez. There is nothing for this kid.

“‘Cause I can’t. It’s too late for me, kiddo.”

“Too late?”

“You know how you’re supposed to be careful with that vase over there?” Jiku said, pointing at a very expensive looking Chinese vase that she’d spotted on a pedestal in the corner of the living room.

“Yeah. Mom said she’d be very upset if she saw it broken.” The children said together.

“You know why?”

“Because it’s expensive.” The brother said along.

“I’d say because it’s unique and you can’t fix it once it’s broken.”

“Yeah?” He already had an idea in mind. Yup, he was the troublemaker of the two.
“Uh huh. I think life is the same way. No two are exactly the same and once you’ve done something, you can’t undo it. So that’s why you have to be careful with your life before you knock it off that shelf.”

“Hmm. Do you think mom and dad would be upset if I knocked my life off the shelf?” The sister asked with a worried expression.

“Very.”

“Were your parents mad?” She asked.

“Very.”



With that, the children were done talking and asked to watch their daily episode of some cartoon. Jiku consulted with her mental copy of her instructions and decided it was allowable. So as the two watched their show Jiku took a look around the house. It was still pretty kitschy everywhere. They had those rooster things in the kitchen. They had too many extra pillows on their bed. They had it all down to a science. Jiku’s own apartment was still filled with figmas, circuit boards, comics, and textbooks like it had been for the last decade. She wasn’t sure who was being more pathetic at this point. It suddenly didn’t matter when the little sister came up to her and said the show was over.

“How was it?” The caretaker asked as they returned to the first floor together.

“I liked it.”

“Good. I like it when I like things.” The girl seemed to be trying to parse the tautology to no avail. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll get it later.”

“Will I?”
“Yes. When you’re older you’ll understand many things.”

“Will my brother?”

“He will understand many things as well.” Jiku said as they entered the room to find him walking towards the vase. “But he’s gonna understand a few things today if he keeps doing when it looks like.” His head whipped around immediately and his face dropped.

“You were supposed to take longer.” He said disappointedly.

“You can’t do that!” His sister exclaimed, as she rushed over to him and started scolding him. Which one was older again?

“It’s fine, kids. Nothing happened, right?” They both nodded. “And nothing will happen right?” They both nodded. “Then then there is nothing to worry about. So I hear that your parents expect me to be the one to feed you. Do you guys share that expectation?”

“Of course! You can’t starve us to death!” Shouted the brother.

“Haha. Don’t worry, it takes days to starve to death. But it sounds like you’re interested in food. So what do you want?” Jiku asked, making her way to the kitchen. Technically, she’d been told to heat some food up for them and without a car of her own it was one of the few viable options, but if there was something she did enjoy now that she didn’t before it was cooking. So any excuse to try her hand at it, was welcome.

“I want pizza!” The brother demanded.

“Mom and dad left food for us.” The little sister replied.

“They did.” Jiku was somewhat disappointed with her audience, but they’re just kids after all.

“I don’t like meatloaf!” The brother whined.

“What do you like?” As he opened his mouth to respond she amended. “Other than pizza.”

“Nothing.” He groused.

“Well, looks like you’re between a rock and a hard place. You can eat the meatloaf or let me choose what you get to eat.” Jiku’s smirk must have been a sight to behold. “So what’ll it be?”

The boy stared at her obstinately, sure he could come up with a solution to his problem. “I’ll let you decide.” He said carefully.

“Are you happy with this outcome little miss?” Jiku asked his sister.

“Mom and dad left food for us.” She insisted.

“You get meatloaf then.” Jiku said with a clap as if everything was sorted. The little girl tugged at her skirt as she turned though. “Yes?”
“Can I try what you make?” She asked without making direct eye contact. So adorable.

“Of course.”

Several hours later the children were in bed and Jiku was up waiting for her employers to make their way back from the New Year’s party. The kids had convinced her to let them stay up for the ball drop even though she didn’t like watching it. But they had gone to sleep promptly afterwards and were even asking when the next time they’d see her was. Probably never, if Jiku was being honest with herself. It’d gone well this time but there was little reason for her to come back again. The only reason she was even there was because the normal babysitter was busy with a family emergency at the last minute and there was very close to literally no one else who would do it.

Jiku looked at the stairs. Children are terrible little creatures, but these two were okay. She liked Makaze and Saxima.

You only get one, dear.

Here ya go.

I think it looks good, too.

I didn't know you could be above a year.







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I figured if you were watching it for real you'd see that after the movie ended.

What? You don't like Sneaking the Bear in and Out of the Castle The Movie?

I don't see why people are disappointed about it moving online. When I said nothing of value of was lost, I really meant it. What did you guys actually lose on this deal? A slot on TV that a lot of the fanbase didn't even tune in for. A lot of people watched it online even when it did have a timeslot. Nickelodeon acknowledged that and tried to accommodate their users in a way that would be most beneficial to everyone. Besides, web releases are becoming more and more a part of the mainstream as a thing. Korea has been releasing comics known as webtunes for years on years at this point. House of Cards, one of the more critically acclaimed and well received shows of recent years was a Netflix original. More than one person bought the RWBY box set and many more have purchased related T-shirts. In the end, all I'm saying is, y'all seem a little inordinately mad over a small hiccup in your week.

Also, given the update schedule being accelerated, you all should have expected at least this much.

And it's a slow day.

And nothing of value was lost.

Gloves.

I find direct human contact highly unpleasant.

The king of the universe doesn't like you anymore.

You are a pioneer in the field of failure with a focus in automotive vehicles.

It was use of the term, "king of the universe," multiple times, wasn't it?