There isn't really much to say about this piece. It's decent but there isn't a particular flair I can comment on and your vocabulary could be a bit more exciting. The repeated references to war with "gunshot" and "hand grenade" were intresting but didn't feel particularly relevant. Your rhyming is steady and amiable. My main hate is the tasteless swearing. If you're going to put in swear words, make them tasteful.
I'm glad it wasn't just me who woke up this morning and thought "Kitty is bound to mention the date". :v
Or so you think. B| *shifty*
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Haha, despite the fact the foot is there, you actually look really adorable all sleepy. [: Spoiler
The opening statement makes me look terrible. I promise you guys, it wasn't irrelevant. :v
It is a delicious seven degrees celsius in Wales this evening. :3
I'd totally volunteer but I'm afraid it's probably too difficult for me. <_>
It was certainly a delight reading last month's entries- although I am afraid I can no longer rid the name Terry from my mind. It was difficult choosing a winner when the options were two quite excellent stories. International Worker's Day by Jiku Neon delighted me when I discovered Terry's gender and was written in a rather obscure manner; I was almost confused but the story came out true in the end and it felt good to emphasize with a character that speaks of death in such an offhand-ish fashion. The winner, however, was What? with Teashades. His story was written in the pompous prose that both authors favour, but the latter made me laugh just that little bit more. Each sentence just seems to suggest humor, no matter the content. Perhaps it is the tasteful overuse of adjectives or the way I find precision when describing rather funny. Either way, Terry's tale was quite a good one to read(although my eyes hurt from squinting). Wow, I spent longer than usual commenting. This month's theme is Nightmares. Deadline is the end of this month<3
It shall be that way anyway, since I could not get online yesterday.
I've actually never dissected a whole animal- I mean, we've done various organs and things, but only after they'd been removed. I really enjoy dissection, it fascinates me. It really irritates me when the girls won't participate incase they get blood on their nails.
Men... I think he's dead.
You've used some good rhyming which makes the whole thing sound rather pleasant when read aloud, despite the dark theme. My only complaint is that you're beating around the bush with what the poem is actually about; vague poems annoy me a lot, although I appreciate there is some fun in solving them. "Tention" should be "tension". This really really doesn't make any sense, it feels like you just put it in so you could have the phrase written downwards.
...Well, this thread is lovely :v
Add meh :3 harriet_22294@hotmail.co.uk DO IT MAN-FRUIT
I don't really mind what gender you are xD YOU ARE STILL AWESOME EITHER WAY. EVEN IF, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SORT OF STUCK ON THE FENCE AND WOULD LIKE...
Kind yet so fruity Just unsure of the gender Is my friend Plums Vi This sums up my feelings for you ;-;
Nah, its fine. Don't worry :3 My parents are being lame and threatening to shorten my internet time etc B| ugh I could use a psyduck to attack...
I feel disgusted knowing he is younger than me. :B|:
