Search Results

I love you guys. <3

No, really. I do. You guys have been waiting for me to get off my lazy butt and actually DO something for... How long, now? Sadly, it's been a long... long time. XD;

My writer's block still ails me. I've decided to stop trying to break through it, and just go with the flow instead. Cuz, seriously, guys... I WANNA write, but when I try to, all I end up doing is staring at the computer blankly and hoping for something to happen. I wanna save myself the headache. Don't worry, I'll get back on 'em. I'm just taking a break, is all...

But I was feeling kinda bad, too, ya know. You guys are basically the reason I started writing at all! So I pulled this ol' thing out of the back corner of my computer's memory and decided to put it up for ya'll. I wasn't planning to put it up for a while, buuuuut, since it was the only ready-made update I had on me... I decided, "Hey! Why not? XD;"

Before ya start reading, I'd just like to say a few things... I'd like to thank mah buddeh SYDNEY (Twilit Shadow) for helping me out with this story! ^-^ I'd also like to thank Celeste (Demyxu) for RPing this with me the first time. =3 And Mari for making the RP we did it in. Good tiiiiimes... XD

Oh yeah... There's a little (Okay - ya caught me - HUGE XD; ) thing about alcohol in this story... Do I promote drinking? Duh! Of course not! It's a disgusting habbit. >.>; But, come on, people... The mere thought of the Organization under the influence of alcohol is... IRRESISTABLE!!! XDDDDDDD

So, please don't chop me up into little pieces and eat them. I'm just tryin' to make people laugh.

Okay - I'll stop rambling now. XD; ENJOY!!!

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

XIIIth Superior
Prologue...​

Xigbar sighed, folding his arms behind his head casually. "Ahhhh... What's better than spending a night out in town, eh, Luxord...?" he chirped.
Luxord was staring down lustfully at Xigbar's lower body. "I can think of one thing..."
"Come again?"
"Nuthin'..."
"Well, sure, it may only be to get some stinkin' groceries, but beggars can't be choosers, right?"
"..."

Luxord's head snapped up. "Huh? Sorry – I wasn't—"
"Jeez, dude... You need to learn to get your head outta the clouds..." Xigbar scoffed.
Luxord hung his head, twiddling with his fingers.

Xigbar looked around a little more, then squealed, "Ooh! Look! A bar!" He glanced back over to Luxord. "The groceries can wait, right?"
Luxord blinked, then cried, "Sure!"
Xigbar grinned. "First one to 10 wins?"
"You're on!"

With that, the two took off after the bar, shouting, and laughing, and carrying on. Xigbar was the one who got there first. He dashed into the bar, slipped, and crashed into the bar head first.

He stuck one hand up. "One, please!" he shouted, giggling like mad.
The bartender stared at him. "Um... I think you've already had enough...." he said.
Xigbar climbed up, waved around his munny, and repeated. "ONE, please!"
"Comin' right up!"
"Not so fast!"

Luxord elbowed down Xigbar's head, and leaned on him as if he was some kinda resting stool. "One, please," he chirped brightly as he placed money on the table.
"Hey! No fair!" Xigbar protested as Luxord climbed all over him to get to the bartender. He stuck his hand up above the counter again. "I ASKED FIRST!" he shouted to the bartender while pointing his finger.
Luxord looked down and gave Xigbar a noogie. "Prepare to lose, my friend," he said, cackling evilly.
The Freeshooter shoved Luxord off of him and climbed up on a bar stool. He grinned slyly at his friend. "HA! You? Beat ME?! As if!"

The bartender gave them both their drinks at the same time. Xigbar glared playfully at Luxord as Luxord cast him a sly glance. Then, they both started gulping it down at the same time.

Luxord finished first, slamming his glass against the table. "Keep 'em coming barkeep!" he shouted as he put down a lot of money to cover all of the drinks he'd be drinking.
Xigbar finished a millisecond after Luxord. He slammed his against the table, and shouted, "BARTENDER!!! HIT ME!" and slammed his munny down along the table with it.

"I hope you know that I'm totally gonna WHUP your @$$, Freeshooter," Luxord murmured stealing Xigbar's patented sly grin.
Xigbar turned to Luxord smiling even more wickedly. "We'll see about THAT!"

The bartender glanced at them both, grinning. It was gonna be great for business having the two...

******************​

Xigbar slumped over the counter, giggling hysterically. Now they were both on drink number 7. "Bartender..." he chuckled, his words slurred together. "'Nother *hic!* un, please?" he said, raising his hand. The bartender shook his head slightly, and passed another drink to Xigbar.

"Thank you..." Xigbar said, raising his head, and grabbing for it. Is eyes were closed halfway and his cheeks were a rosy red-ish color. "BOTTOMS UP!" he shouted, and he started drinking, though it wasn't nearly as fast as when they started...

Luxord slammed his glass down a bit too hard, shattering the bottom of it. "Kee'm comin'... *hic!*" he muttered. He had a bit of a funky smile on his face as his body swayed to and fro lightly on the bar stool.

He turned to the guy beside him and growled, "Hey bub. Ya do *hic!* realize that yer fatness is *hic!* showin' right?" Of course, the guy took it offensively and swung at Luxord, but he dodged and kicked him in the back. "C'mon, Fatman, you can *hic!* do better!"

Xigbar blinked and started staring at Luxord and the man. Duuuude... he thought, hazily. I should, like... Help him or something... He turned back to the bartender, who was also watching what would happen next. "One – *hic!* – more, please!" he said.
Luxord dodged another one of the guy's punches, laughing, but that one was a lot closer.

The bartender gave him a look that read "What?! You're not even going to help your friend?!" and then he shrugged and passed him another one. Xigbar muttered his thanks, grabbed it, and fell over onto some guy beside him. The contents sloshed all over the place.

"HEY!" the guy shouted. "Get the hell OFF of me, ya crazy, sunnuva—"
Xigbar looked him in the eye, then poked him. "Duuuuude..." he hiccupped, and continued. "You're, like, *hic!* the one on me! *hic!*"
The guy got up, making Xigbar fall headfirst on the ground. "Smart guy, huh?!" he demanded. "Well let's see how clever you are now!"
"Ow..." Xigbar groaned. He slowly got up, swaying slightly. "Alright..." he rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "Uh-hum... Two plus two equals—"

The guy started to charge at him, screaming furiously. Xigbar gasped and ducked, which made the man crash into another guy right beside him.

"HEY! What the—" the guys shoved him into another guy who lunged at him, making him fall onto someone else. And, before ya knew it, EVERYONE in the bar was fighting.

Xigbar blinked, looking around. He looked completely clueless. Suddenly, he grinned, threw up his hands, and cried, "I win!"
Luxord skipped back, avoiding yet another one of "Fatman's" attacks. He tripped on something, and accidentally bumped into Xigbar. He craned his neck back, saw who it was, and gave a little, "Well, HI—"

"WAAAAH-TAH, TAH, TAH!!!" Xigbar whipped around, karate-chopped Luxord on the head, spun kicked him in the face, and flipped him onto the ground. "HA! I sure showed... Eh...?"

"Oh!" he hiccupped, shaking his head. "Luxord! Sorry... You *hic!* You surprised me..." He leaned forward, squinting his eyes at the man sprawled on the floor. "Can... Can ya breathe...?"

The bar fight was slowly tipping into chaos. Guys were falling everywhere - one even landing on top of Luxord. "Ack!" the blonde exclaimed. He pushed himself as well as the other off of the floor, shaking his body in the process to get the other off of him. "Get offamee ya *hic!* freak!"

Once he was fully up and standing straight, he stumbled yet again. "I'm out-*hic!*-ta here. C'mon Xig." Xigbar shrugged, and stumbled after the other Nobody. Amazingly, their unsteady walking was the very thing that was keeping them from getting popped a good one on the mouth a couple of times.

As Xigbar continued to stumble through, he caught sight of two guys fighting. One had a full, un-opened bottle of vodka in his hand. He was about to bash the other across the head with it, when Xigbar popped, and grabbed the bottle in mid-air. Snatching it away, he muttered, "Hey, ken I *hic!* borruh dis?" Without waiting for an answer, he started walking off again.
The guy whipped around. "HEY! Get back here, ya—" before he could finish, he was tackled from behind by the man he was originally gonna bash across the head.

Ohmaigawd - YAY! Xigbar thought, happily. He told Luxord about his success, and the two began sneaking around, stealing bottles of alcohol while no one was watching.

After a while, Xigbar whispered, "'Kay, that's enough!" His eyes suddenly got wide. "Sonnuva..." he managed to say before slipping on some beer that was on the floor. He'd get up and watch where he was walking. He'd arrive at the 'door' and put his hands on the wall and feel around. "Oh my god...! OH MY GOD! LUX! THE DOOR IS MISSING!!!" he shrieked. He had absolutely no idea that he was standing in front of a wall.

Luxord gasped. "WHAT?! Oh no!" He whipped around, his eyes darting around frantically. THE DOOR IS MISSING?! But... How will we be able to get out?! HOW WILL WE BE ABLE TO BREATHE?!?!?! He started to hyperventilate.

Then, he grabbed his head and screamed at the top of his lungs, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!"

EVERYONE in the bar stopped and looked at him. Then they all went back to fighting. A guy in front of him whipped around, snarling. "Ya know, you're REALLY startin' ta piss me off, kid!" he growled, stomping over to Luxord.

Luxord blinked, then retorted, indignantly, "Psh! KID?! I ain't no *hic!* kid! For your information, I'ma—Hey! What are ya—?!" He started thrashing about angrily and shouting protests as the man picked him up by his shirt and slung him out of the window.

Luxord did a face-plant into the grass out side of the bar. He laid there for a few minutes. "... Ow..." he grumbled.

"GERONIMO!!!!!!!"

Xigbar came diving through the window right beside him and rolled out of the way of the shattered glass. Luxord grinned, smiling at him, and panted, "We made it...! We made it out!"
Xigbar grinned back at him, holding up one of the bottles of alcohol in his arms. "And... we scored some free booze!" he exclaimed. He grabbed one, pulled the top off with his teeth, and took a few gulps, then handed it to Luxord to drink.
Luxord took it gratefully, and gulped it down. "MAN! So many good things happening all at once...!"
"Kinda makes a guy wanna..."

"Dance..." they said in unison.

They stared at each other for a second, then grinned.

"I like ta move it, move it..." Luxord started. "I like ta move it, move it... I like ta move it, move it... Ya like ta... MOVE IT!" he shouted the last part, throwing his arms in the air and just started dancing as they started walking home. He'd expect Xigbar to join in so he began humming the beat.

Xigbar was right on cue. He grinned and started shouting in a Jamaican voice, "All Organization Members All Over The World! Original King XIGBAR - Pon Ya Case Man!"

He started trying to dance in timing to the beat, but his drunkenness made him stumble all over himself. He didn't care. He continued singing, joyfully, "Woman Ya Cute And You Don’t Need No Make-Up... Original Cute Body You A Mek Man Mud Up! Woman Ya Cute And You Don’t Need No Make-Up... Original Cute Body You A Mek Man Mud Up!"

He held out to Luxord and they started singing together: "*hiccup!* physically fit! physically fit! physically, physically, physically fit! "*hiccup!* physically fit! physically fit! physically, physically, physically fit!"

The two wobbled and headbanged and shook their butt along with the song, until, finally, they came to the chorus again.

"I LIKE TA MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"
Xigbar pointed to a random guy, walking down the street staring at them. "HE LIKES TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"
Luxord pointed to a little girl, hiding behind her mom's leg, staring at them like they had the Black Plague. "SHE LIKES TA MOVE IT, MOVE IT!
WE LIKE TA... MOVE IT!!!!"

Suddenly, Xigbar stopped the song abruptly. "Oh, oh, oh... I got one!" He took a deep breath, and then began rapping: "Yo, love me or hate me, still an obsession. Love me or hate me, that is the question. If you love me then... thank you! If you hate me then..." He paused a second, putting his hand over his mouth and looking away, then pointing at someone random, "you!" The silence was obviously used as some sort of censor.

Luxord grinned, joining in during the repeat of the chorus while bobbing his head to the beat.
"(normal voice)Love me or hate me, its still an obsession! Love me or hate me, that is the question! If you love me then (high pitched voice) thank you! (normal voice)If you hate me then (high pitched voice) *hic!* you!" His high voice was a little TOO high, but it was still a pretty good imitation of the original.

They kept on singing for a while when, suddenly one of Xigbar's dance moves got a little out of hand; he stumbled on his own legs and did a "swan dive" into the concrete.

Luxord was still singing when it happened. "I can on-ly do one thing - and that's be Mister Lu-ruh-xord!" He blinked as he heard a sound coming from Xigbar's direction. He gasped and helped the other up.
"Nyyyughhhh..." Xigbar groaned, rubbing his head. "Thanks, dude..."

Luxord grinned at him, and began singing softly, "Listen baaaby... Ain't no mountain high! Ain't no valley low! Ain't river wiiide enough, baaaby! If you need me call me... no matter where you are! No matter how far..."
"Don't worry baby!" Xigbar cut in, grinning. "Just call my name! I'll be there in a hurry! You don't have to worry! 'Cause baby there...!"

"Ain't no mountain hiiiiiiiigh enough!!!" They both burst out singing. "Ain't no valley looooooow enough!!! Ain't no RIV-ER wiiiiiiiide enough! To keep me from getting to you, babe!"

Suddenly, Luxord stopped. "Oh my god – it's him..." he hissed.
Xigbar blinked. "Who?"
"Mr. Goody, Goody, Two-Size-Thirty-Shoes," Luxord whispered, nodding in a boy's direction.

The young boy had light brown hair and bright blue eyes along with two huge feet that looked like they caused earthquakes as he walked. He had on a wide, goofy grin, and was talking to some girl with reddish hair.

Xigbar's eyes narrowed. "Ohhhhh... I see..." He looked back at Luxord, pulling himself away from the Gambler's grasp. "I'LL take care of this one, dude..." After a moment of silence, he shoved all the bottles of booze he'd been carrying into Luxord's hands. "Yo, hold mah pool!" he growled.

He marched over to the young man, until he was a couple of yards away. Then, he shouted, "Hey, Almighty Keyblade Dude! Take a look at THIS!"

He spun around, pulled down his pants, and bent over. "Oooh woooh...!~" he cooed, shaking his butt a little. "Ooooh WOOOOO-oooh...!~"

Sora's jaw dropped.

Seconds later, Xigbar was tearing through the streets beside himself with laughter, shouting at Luxord, "RUN, DUDE! RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!"

Luxord wasn't one to ask questions. He just made a portal and they both ran through it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm still working on the rest... XD; I know, I know... The "I like to move it" joke has been done before...

BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT!!! XDDDD

I like that song...

I had more to say, but I gotta go somewhere in, like, 2 seconds, so, yeah. XD;

BYE!!! Hope ya enjoyed! ^-^

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.