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Whatever. XD It's not like it was a secret, anyways... XD; Buuuut, if it's bothering you, just tell a mod and I guess it can be BALLEETED!

BUT TELL ME FIRST SO I CAN SAVE IT! D=

*only the SNEAKY people understand what that means* <<>>

If you're a fan of the famous "If Organization XIII Uses AIM" story, it's coming along slowly but surely. XD Thanks to everyone who gave me their ideas (even though some of you didn't do it like I asked... ;P ) - even if you find out I didn't use yours. When I see other people's ideas, it helps jolt my mind back into its creative zone and I can start making some of my OWN ideas again. XD

So, yeah... Thanks again. XD

WooooOOOooOoOooOoOoOoOOoooooOOooow.... I got off-topic THAT fast. :sweatdrop:

About THIS fanfiction. Uh... It's gonna seem weird ( what else is new? XD; ), but, I guaranteed you it's worth the read. XD;

This seemed simple at first, but the more I thought about it, the more complecated it became. XD *isn't exactly sure where it'll end*

Don't worry - you'll see soon enough. ;D

ENJOY! :yelling:

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Target Practice!!!

Chapter one: How it all Began...​

“WAAAAH! No, Xaldin, NO! Give it BACK you…! YOU…!”
“Gotta catch me, first! Heh – SLOW POKE!”

Luxord was sitting on one of the couches in the main room of The Castle That Never Was, reading a book as Axel frantically chased Xaldin around the room. His legs were casually dangling off the arm of one end, and he was leaning on the arm of the other as he read. The man rolled his eyes. “Idiots…” he grumbled.

Suddenly, Xigbar portalled in, rubbing his temples. “Guys, keep it down…!” he grumbled. “You’re giving me a frickin’ head-ache!”

Since the two playing ring-around-the-couch didn’t stop running, he took a little time to examine the scene. The two paused from their chase, and glared at each other from the other ends of the sofa. That’s when Xigbar noticed something in Xaldin’s hand... It sorta looked like a Larxene plushy…

Suddenly, Xigbar knew what this was all about. He turned to Luxord and chuckled, “This looks like it's gonna be good…” Then, the Freeshooter went back to watching.

Luxord found himself thankful he didn’t stop the two when he had the chance. He grinned, and sat up, pretending to watch the scene, but really averting his gaze to Xigbar’s butt.

Axel's face was just as red as his hair; he looked really angry... and helpless... Almost like he was going to cry with rage. Xaldin, on the other hand, looked as giddy as a sugar-addict lost in a forest… of sugar cane.

“Give it back! NOW!” screamed Axel.
“No, I think I'll hold on to it for a while, thank you…” smirked Xaldin.
Axel's hands lit up with fire. “I said… NOW!” he growled.
Xaldin gasped with mock terror and thrust the Larxene plushy in front of him. “Oh noes!” he squealed in a high pitched voice. “What ever will happen to Larxene Jr., here?!” he teased, grinning cruelly.

Axel released the flames, stared at the plushy wantingly, then dove at it once more in a desperate attempt to get it back. Xaldin jumped back still laughing with glee. Axel finally sighted the 2 onlookers and said, “Uh… Uh…! Please help!”
“Good lord – you must be REALLY desperate to ask XIGBAR for help!” Xaldin chortled.

Luxord stood up, wanting to help a little. Even as amusing as this sight was, Axel had done him no harm. He stood up, and whispered in Xigbar’s ear, “So what do you think? Should we help him…?”
“Nah – let me handle this…” Xigbar answered, with a casual wave of his hand.
Luxord nodded, silently. He’s so cunning…! he thought secretly.

The Freeshooter turned to Axel, who was frantically jumping at the plushy which Xaldin had placed barely above reach with his wind powers – so close Axel’s hands literally could brush against it. “C’mon’, Spiky! You can get it! Jump for it!!!” the man taunted.
Xigbar waited patiently until Axel’s frustration was at its peak, then announced, “Okay, Red, we’ll help ya out…”

Axel whipped his head toward him, face filled with happiness. Xaldin also looked, surprised that Xigbar, out of all people, was going to help. “… Buuuut, first you gotta do stuff for us, too.”
Axel’s expression turned a little sourer, but after a quick glance at his floating Larxene plushy, he quickly nodded and said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you want!”

Xigbar looked back at Luxord. “You want anything right now…?” he asked, grinning mischievously.
Did he? What kind of question was that?! Of COURSE he wanted something! But it was something that Axel would never be able to give him…

He shook his head, viciously. “No, I’m good,” he insisted, folding his arms, moodily.
Xigbar blinked. “… WHAT?!”
The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Uh… Did I say something wrong…?”
“Did you—?! Look here, man…”

Xigbar slung his arm around Luxord’s shoulder, and pulled him down into a crouching position. “We've got a Class A idiot here,” he pointed to Axel, who was chasing Xaldin again for his lost prize, “who's willing to do WHATEVER it takes to get ONE stupid doll back, and you don't want ONE thing from him?!” His face was so close to Luxord’s that their noses were almost touching.

“Now, don’t you think that’s a bit silly…?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow, and giving one of his signature sly smiles.

The blonde could literally feel his inner Luxord drowning in a pool of nose-blood. Deep breaths…! he ordered himself as he felt himself get a little lightheaded.

He straightened himself up, took a few deep breaths as suggested from before, smoothed out his cloak and gave a shaky, “N-No…”

With that, he took off toward his room, biting his bottom lip so hard that he thought it might bleed.

Xigbar watched him take off, completely confused. “Dude… It was JUST a freakin’ question…” he grumbled.

He turned back to see Axel completely in tears, begging Xaldin to give the plushy back. Xigbar shouted, “Alright! I'll take you up on your little offer! But, first, you have to become my slave for an entire…” he paused, thinking it over. “2 weeks.”
“2 WEEKS?!”
“Take it or never get your Larxene back…~”
“Okay!” Axel sighed. “Okay... Just... get it, okay?”

“NOT SO FAST!” Xaldin shouted abruptly. When the two turned back to him, they saw all of his 6 sharp lances circling the little Larxene. “Move and the plushy GETS IT!” he growled.

Axel let out a degradingly high-pitched scream.

Xigbar sighed and pulled out one of his guns calmly, and started approaching him. “Come on…” he started. “We both know that if you speared that plushy, Axel would have nothing left to hold him back from fryin' your ***.”

Xaldin glanced at Axel who was now standing up a little taller as a new light began to dawn on the matter. “Yeah…?” answered Xaldin. “Well, he still can't do anything right now cuz he's scared to hurt the stupid doll.”
Axel slumped down again and gave a humiliated, “Plushy...”
“Whatever.” Xaldin rolled his eyes.
“True... But I can...” shot back Xigbar.

Axel gasped a little and sent him a "WHAT'RE YOU DOIN?!" look, but Xiggy ignored it.
Xaldin shook his head. “You'll have to go through the plushy first.”
“There's plenty enough room to go around it.”
“You can't shoot THAT well.”

Xiggy responded by shooting just above Xaldin's head. Xaldy winced, and then gasped as one of his locks came floating down.

Xiggy cupped his hand around his ear. “Come again?!”

Xaldy finally hurled the plushy at Axel, who caught it with a squeal of delight. The Whirlwind Lancer stormed off, grumbling venomous words to himself as he went. Xiggy watched him go and then turned to Axel, who was lovingly cuddling his plushy.

“Ahem… I believe we had a deal…?”
Axel looked up, surprised. “You mean… NOW?!”
“Uh… Yeah.”
Axel sighed and shoved the plushy in his pocket.

“Okay… Let's go…” he mumbled.

******************************​

Luxord raised an eyebrow. He had eavesdropped on the whole conversation by pressing his ear to the wall and listening intently. And what he heard alarmed him greatly.

“Slave…? Just what kinda… ‘slave’ does Xigbar mean…?!” Suddenly, his eyes widened. “W-Wait… SURELY he doesn’t mean… THAT kinda slave!”

He suddenly found himself rolling on the ground, wailing with regret, cursing out Axel with every word known to man, and wishing if only, if only it were HIM!

“Damn you Axel!” he seethed. “You can’t do this to me! He’s MINE, damnit!” He got up, muttering to himself. “I am NOT gonna let this happen… Not gonna let this hap—”

He froze. Footsteps. “Someone’s coming… It HAS to be them!” He pressed his ear against the door, and, sure enough, he heard Axel and Xigbar’s voices clear as day.

The blonde’s eyes lit up in a passionate flame of envy. I’ll show this guy what happens when he messes with ME…! he thought, clutching the door handle tightly. The plan was that he’d time it just right so that, just when Axel was walking by, he’d shove it open, and the door would slam in his face. PERFECT!

But for then, he just had to play the waiting game…

******************************​

Axel trailed behind Xigbar, dragging his hand along the wall. An uncomfortable silence settled around them. “So… What kinda stuff will I be doing as your personal slave…?” he asked in a slightly bored tone.
Xigbar was silent a while, then answered, “Does it matter? You already agreed, ya know. Can't take it back now.”
“Well… I just want to be prepared…”
Xigbar grinned then turned back to Axel. “Trust me, nothing can prepare you for THAT!”

Axel stopped for a second, gulped, then reluctantly followed after the Freeshooter. He’d hardly gone a step before—

SLAM!!!

“YEOW! God-damnit…! Aghhh…!”

Xigbar whirled around to see Axel stumbling out from behind a door, rubbing his nose frantically. His whole face seemed a bright, vivid red, and his eyes were watering like crazy.

“LUXORD?!” the victim cried in a pinched voice.
Luxord put on his best apologetic face, silently thanking his many games of poker for his excellent acting abilities. “Aw, I’m sorry, mate! Didn’t know you were there! Completely my fault…” He walked out of the room, and shut the door, barely concealing his urge to laugh.
Axel glared at Luxord. “Yeah, right…” he grumbled. “I bet he did it on purpose…”

He was just irritated, though. He didn't REALLY know Luxord MEANT to hit him.

Xigbar crossed his arms, impatiently. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah…” Axel mumbled, still rubbing his nose. “I think so…”
“Alright, then. Let's go on.”

Luxord screeched to a stop. BLAST!!!! Okay – time for plan B.

“♪ EVERYBODY DANCE, NOW!~ ♪”

Suddenly, the two heard a boom box start blasting. They blinked, and turned around to see Luxord dancing crazily to C&C’s “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”. He did everything from doing back flips, break-dancin', the worm, some kinda ******ing thing that looked like a cross between one of Michael Jackson and MC Hammer’s moves, even just hopping up and down in place.

ANYTHING to stall.

Axel took one look at him, and immediately began to crack up. Xigbar just watched with one eyebrow raised. “Uh… Blondie, what the hell are you doing?” he asked.
Axel fell on the ground rolling with laughter. “Oh, god – air…! Air…!” he gasped, giggling.

“What?” asked Luxord, doing the robot. “Is it really so wrong for a man to express himself throughout the miracle of dance?”
Xigbar slapped his forehead, and dragged his hand down. Finally, he sighed. Blondes… what’re ya gonna do…? “No, I guess it isn't.” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

He would have LOVED to chew out Luxord some more, but he didn't really feel like wasting the time. He walked over to Axel (who was still laughing himself into a coma), picked him up, and slung the redhead over his shoulder. “Come on now, Axel,” he muttered. “We’re wasting time.”

The smile melted off Axel's face. “H-Hey, wait! You don’t have any right—”
“Personal slave, remember…?”
“…”
“Oh mai gawd – IS THAT A SHROOM?!”

Luxord, who was getting a wee bit desperate now, had resorted to screaming random stuff.

Axel blinked. “Wha—?”
“Keep going…” Xigbar instructed, not even looking back.
“WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!!!!!!!!” Luxord jabbered, scrambling up to them. He held up a deck of cards in one hand. “XigbaryawannaseeaneetcardtrickIpickedup?!” he blabbered much too fast to understand. “It’sreallyreallycool! PLEASE?!”
“NO!” Xigbar snapped, shoving him into a wall.
“Sorry…!” Axel called weakly after him. “OW! Xigbar careful! I bruise easily, ya know! I’m like a peach!”
“C’mon, then, Peaches…!~”

Luxord slumped against the wall, absolutely drowning in self-pity. There’s no way to stop him…! Damn it… Damn it all to hell…!

In a completely desperate attempt to keep Xigbar from going into his room, the blonde pounced on his leg, sobbing, “Noooo…! Don’t GO, Xigbar! Dun LEEEEAVE…! He’s not good enough for you-hooo…!”
Xigbar gasped, and began shaking his leg viciously. “HEY! Let me go you FREAK!”
“Noooooooooo………!”
“What’s going on?!” an alarmed Axel cried. He tried to crane his neck back to see what was happening.
“Nuuu, Xiggy, DOOOON’T!!! Take me instead! Take me, instead…! WAAAAAAH!!!”
Xigbar rolled his eyes. I get it now – he must’ve figured out what I’m gonna do with the kid… No one would wanna go through it willingly…

Xigbar gave another attempt at shaking the blonde off to no avail. “L-Look… I’m not – I’m NOT gonna hurt him, okay?!” he stammered. “… Much…” he added under his breath.
Axel gasped. “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?!”
“NOW look at what you did!” sighed Xigbar.
Luxord continued to cling to his leg like a human leech, sniffling.

Suddenly, Xigbar gasped. “Oh my god! Over there!!! Is that… RUM?!”
Luxord jumped to his feet, and whirled around. “WHERE?!”
“See ya, Lux!”

Luxord blinked, and turned around. “Wait – wha—?!”

SLAM!

Xigbar was gone into his room.

Luxord blinked stupidly. BLAST!!!

******************************​

“Now tell me, what are we doing?” Axel asked, looking up and examining Xigbar's room. It had lava lamps all over the place, a huge TV on one side of the wall, pictures of motorcycles and hot babes all over the walls, and a huge window right beside Xiggy's bed.

Xigbar sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he craned his neck back to stare at Axel for a few minutes, his expression unreadable. “Before we do ANYTHING, let’s get one thing straight,” he muttered. “Whatever I tell you to do, do it; no question, no hesitation. Capeshe?”
Axel blinked. “Wait, why?”

A sly grin spread on his face, slowly. Suddenly, he burst out laughing maniacally, as he strode off in the direction of the bed.

Axel's pupils shrank to the size of rice grains; he gulped. SURELY, he doesn't mean to...! Weakly, he repeated, “Xiggy…? What are we doing…?”
Xigbar only smirked, as if hiding a dirty secret.
Axel just stared, a shocked look on his face.

HE DOES!!!!!

Suddenly, he bared his teeth, his eyes welling up. “But…! But you can't DO this!!!”
“Watch me.”
“But, I don't wanna—!”
“You said you'd be my slave, and last time I checked, you also said you wouldn’t ask any questions…”
“But…!” Axel slumped down on Xigbar's shoulder, tears running down his face. “I'll be scarred for life…”
“Your problem, not mine. Don't make promises ya can't keep.”

Axel inhaled to say something else, but Xigbar roughly slung the redhead down on the bed before anything COULD be said. “Shud-dap… No more talking now, okay?” Xigbar growled, still grinning. Axel started to prop himself up, only to get pushed back down by the older man.

Xigbar began walking his fingers up from Axel's stomach. “Starting today…” the Freeshooter purred, “your name is no longer ‘Axel’. It's...”

The redhead shut his eyes as Xigbar's fingers stopped at his collar.

“It's………”

Suddenly, Xigbar's hands snatched up Axel's collar. He reached over the redhead and knocked the window beside the bed wide open. “Huh…?!” Axel's eyes snapped back open, confused.

Xigbar’s grin got even wider. He arched his arm back, hurled a screaming Axel out of the window and pulled out both of his guns. “TARGET PRACTICE!!!!!!!!!” he whooped, laughing like a maniac. He cocked his head to the side, stuck his tongue out of his mouth in concentration, and started shooting before Axel had even hit the ground.

“…aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—Oopf!” Axel’s back slammed on the ground. The redhead laid there, twitching from the impact. The air had literally been knocked from his lungs. He slowly started to open his eyes. “Ughhn… HWAAH!!!” He snapped them back shut as the bullets began landing all around him in, first the outline of his body, a circle outside of that, a star outside of the circle, and a heart around the star.

Xigbar but his hand on his chin, carefully examining his work. Hmmmm.... One side of the heart's bigger than the other, other than that, it's fine... The star's kinda lopsided there... and there... Circle looks okay... and as for the outline... His eyes traveled up from Axel's feet. Hmm.... So far so good... Well, I think I did pretty goo— His jaw dropped. HOLY CRAP!!! His eyes widened to the size of grapefruits as he slowly covered his mouth.

He stretched out, grabbing the window, and quickly called out, “Oooooookay! That'senoughtargetpracticeforoneday, SEEYA!” and slammed the window shut.

Oh jeez… Axel... is going... to KILL me... when he finds out.... what I did... to his hair...

To be continued…

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I agree. Too short. :sweatdrop:

But it wuz all I had time for - gimmeeabreak! DX

Kinda rushed in some spots, too... Hope you guys'll live...

*snorts* Silly Freeshooter...~

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah

Here be part 2!

Today... hasn't been the best of days so far. I'm supposed to be at school right now, taking one of my 2 very important tests... And I'm at home. =.=; I'm not even sick.

Thing is, I've been using my new cell-phone as an alarm all this year - well, so far anyways. And I found out today that the damned thing is ALREADY broken. But I just found out this morning. So I ended up waking up JUST when the bus left my stop.

I called my dad, and he said to try to catch a ride, and if I couldn't, walk to school. As always, there's no one in this neighbor hood that I know that can take me there. And I'm too much of a 'fraidy cat to ask people I DON'T know.

To make matters worse, I don't know the way to school, and even if I did, it'd be pretty hard walking there with my Bookbag filled to the brim and a huge, heavy-to-carry saxaphone along with it. >.<;

I decided to stay home for the day, but I can't help feeling like I did it all wrong... ;~; And my parents probably think I'm at school right now (*hasn't called to tell them yet*) - should I tell them? They're gonna be SO frickin' pissed when they find out...

Uh... Help...? Please? I'm really stressing here...