Not even in the last week, I've been PM'd three times by people advertising. This is the latest. People have done this sort of thing before, but never this frequent. This is just annoying.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/ http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/
Are you a new writer trying to get your story off the ground? Looking for someone to give you a review of your work? Are you a veteran who suddenly got a case of the nerves about your new story, and would like someone to give it an expert review? Well have no fear, because the Beta Reader Request thread is here! Basically, this is where you can come to ask for someone to read and review your fic, and then give you their thoughts, and make you aware of anything that might need to be approved on, whether it be punctuation, run on sentences, paragraph clumping, anything that might seem to warrant improvement. You can request either one of two ways. The first is to post the request using the following format: [Name of story] [Author's name (or username if you prefer)] [Date of when story is posted] [Chapter]* [Link to thread] The second option is to PM it to one of our beta readers. If you don't want to post your story quite yet, but still wish to have it reviewed, simply ask for permission for permission to PM your story to a beta reader, and if one gives you permission then you are free to PM it at your leisure. Please note that there is a character limitation when sending PMs, and you may be required to send your story in two PMs. You can also, if the beta reader agrees, e-mail to it to them. If you wish to be a beta reader, then simply post asking to be one. But be aware that by being a beta reader you are agreeing to abide by the following guidelines: 1. To review each story with an impartial and fair mind set. 2. Stay in the best interests of the author of the story you are reviewing. 3. Be tactful and considerate when relaying your thoughts and advice for improvement to the author. Be sure to tell them everything that you found to be sub standard, and advise them on what they can do to improve. (Keep in mind, this doesn't mean you can say things such as "OMG YOU CAN'T WRITE FOR ****!!" and at the same time, it means that you should hold anything back. If it's bad, then tell them "This is a bad story." But follow up by "Here are some things you can do/try to improve." It doesn't have to be that cut and dry, mind you, but remember that we are doing this entirely for the writer's benifit.) 4. Not so much a rule as it is a suggestion, but if you are stumped and can't think of anything to say, try to ask for a second opinion from another beta reader. Ask them to give the one you are reviewing a quick read, and then throw some ideas back and forth at each other. We're a team, so don't be afraid to ask for a little support. New! 5. Beta Readers, don't be afraid to review fics that have already been reviewed by another Beta Reader. Different people are able to pick up on different things. And it's entirely likely that you can find an error that somebody else missed. New! 6. Beta Readers, when reviewing a request that was linked, I must ask you to relay your thoughts to the writer by replying to the source thread, i.e., posting in the thread that they posted the link to. If you reply here, there is allways a chance that they won't check back and they might miss any vital advice you might have to give. The Beta Reader Team: And to close, here is a tip that I, and many writers here at KHI, find extremely helpful: Use the edit button. Don't wait until the next update to correct your mistakes. Use the edit button to fix what ever might be the problem. They are located at the bottom right corner of every one of your posts. Take pride of your work, and make it the best it can be. So that's about it. Hope that everyone finds this to be extremely helpful. ------- *NOTE: Apply only if you are unsure about your update and wish to have a beta reader review it. Don't post a request for every single one of your chapters. Beta readers may not have the time nor desire to review every one of your chapters, and are not obligated to read every single request. ABUSE THIS AND IT WILL BE REVOKED!
(aka: What Four Swords SHOULD have been like!) Prologue: Dark Designs. In a secluded section of time a space, there is a void. A space shrouded in darkness so thick, anyone or anything that was unfortunate enough to find its way into this god forsaken place would have had any life squelched from them in a matter of hours, if they didn’t lose their mind first. It is a place where no light can illuminate it, and almost lo life could be born from it. The only being that was unfortunate enough to be born in such a hellish place realm had come and gone many times, never returning by choice, but always leaving in search of something more, to spread his brand of darkness into other realms, to strike at the light with all his fury, leaving his void as empty and as lifeless as it was prior to his birth, until a flash of darkness erupts from the nothingness, replicating the creature’s birth so many millennia ago, signaling his unwilling return to his own private hell hole of a realm. “DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!!†the being cursed to himself, having been freed from his material form that he had used in the other world, returning him to his original state as a shapeless energy being. He surges violently, emanating a dark aura as his form splurged about. “NOT AGAIN!!†He grunts and yells for a while longer, cursing into the void with all of his might. After a while, he starts to calm down, his form becoming more and more stable, settling on a sphere like shape. However, he still angers, and begins to drone on. “It always happens!†He grunts angrily, going over his situation in thought. “Every time I get close to claiming the power of the Triforce for my own, a gung ho little snot in a green tunic shows up and thinks they can be a hero!†The dark aura surrounding the shapeless energy being intensified for a moment and four rings made of dark energy appeared, encircling the being, looking almost like windows. “First was that little nothing of a blacksmith’s grandson. Lucky little punk.†As soon as his words had been spoken, the window in front of him lit up, showing an image of a young man of fifteen living in the outskirts of a great kingdom, making a living as a blacksmith in his grandfather's old cabin workshop. He was clad in a green sleeveless tunic and was wearing a brown under shirt. He had a brown hair adorned by a green cap with a yellow brim. “Then when I tried going back into the distant past, it was some stupid orphan. Thinks he’s so tough, traveling through time like that…†The window to the right of the first one now sparked to life, showing a young boy of fourteen, reclining against his slumbering faithful steed in front of a burning fire, settling down for the night from a long day’s journey. He blew into a sweet potato shaped instrument, fingering the holes to create a melodious, enchanting sound that rings out into the wilderness, soothing his tired soul. He wore a green tunic with sleeves and a green cap as well. “My third time out seemed to have gone well at first, but those Hylian gods had to screw with me and flood the entire world and scatter the Triforce pieces! By the time I was able to get them, another little **** from some back water island shows up! He was nothing, but then his royal pain in the butt intervened and ruined everything, giving that kid his chance!†Again, the window to the right sparked up, showing an image from someplace else. This time it showed a ship sailing on an ocean, spanning as far as the eye could reach. On the furthermost point on the ship was a thirteen year old boy, watching as the ship sped along the ocean to parts unknown. Laughing with a big smile across face, eyes gleaming with excitement and anticipation on what lies ahead. He wore a green sleeveless tunic with a light green undershirt. He had a black belt with a white shell buckle strapped around his waist and a green cap flapping in the breeze on top of his blond hair. To protect from the chilling breeze, he wore white leggings. “And last time, I even tried going to an alternate timeline, but those elders banished me to the twilight realm! I’ll admit, that was actually a plus, getting that idiot, Zant to do my dirty work. But almost as soon as I return back to the real world, who should show up but another one these idiots!†Finally, the last window shows an image of a young man of seventeen, walking along a path towards his home, his village from a tireless journey, accompanied by a his childhood friend, who was riding side saddle on top of their beloved horse. Behind them, was a horse drawn wagon, filled with children who had been away from home for what seemed like forever. All of them had had a grand adventure, and were ready to return home. He wore a short sleeved green tunic with a long sleeved white undershirt. He had gauntlets on each arms and long white leggings covering his lower half. He had a long green cap which adorned his dirty blond hair like a crown. He looked upon these images for a while, thinking about how in all of existence that four different warriors, all of them not even old enough to drink with at a bar, could respectively bring about his defeat four different times. “Unbelievable.†He says to himself, trying to plan his next move, dismissing the window, them evaporating into darkness. He grew tired of being handed defeat after defeat by boys who weren’t even a fraction of his true age. “Every time I try to conquer that back water realm, somebody shows up to act against me! It’s almost as if—“ But he stops in abrupt silence. If he had a face, it would have an expression of amazed realization. Then he started to chuckle, which grew into an evil, sinister laughter as a plan unfolds in his innermost workings. “Of course!†He chided to himself with a tone of malicious intent and evil desires, abruptly stopping his laughter. “The empirical rule! It was right in front of me this whole time! It's So obvious!†He started glowing even darker than before, preparing to leave this desolate world to implement his latest scheme. “Yes, a ‘proactive’ approach, as it were…†He drawled to himself happily. “This will work quite well.. But first, I need to do a little Recruiting…†And once again, his laughter rings out, as explodes, launching his energy form in all directions, exiting his dark realm, eager to start what he believes is his plan of final conquest. Prologue: Dark Designs: End ------------ Since nobody seemed to be interested in BoD, I figured I might as well try my luck with my newest project!
Three DS remakes of Dragon Quest 4 - 6 being released by the end of the year. First one in September, the second two in December. Square Enix Officializes Dragon Quest DS Remakes news from 1UP.com Never played the first versions, but these look freaking sweet. Definitely going on my "Must Have" List. A screen from DQIV. V and VI have yet to been put up. But I'm hopeful, when comparing the DQIV DS scans to the original DQIV imagery. And things of Interest about DQ IX, which is out in November. http://www.1pstart.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/dragonquest1.jpg http://pgrevolution.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/dq9.jpg
Is anybody else reading this series? It's a Korean manga colaboration by two independent artists. It's about a student who goes on an adventure in a virtual video game world every night. Sorta like .Hack, but a little different. I've been reading it for a while now, and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Here's a link to the first five volumes. Manga Fox: ID Entity Manga Series Flip through the pages by pressing the left and right arrow keys or by clicking on the image.
I just saw it a couple days ago. Got to say, it's much better than I thought it would be. The Music was great, and the presentation was amazing, but the best part was the dancing. It went between Tap dancing and ballet, and my favorite part of it, a scene that portrayed the old age vs. new age struggle, even had some break dancing in it. The were pulling off all kinds of weird moves as the shoes clicked on the ground. They were doing moves that you could consider impossible for a human. Bar none, one of the best experiences in a theater of my life. Without a doubt, if you get the chance to see it, you should take it.
I checked a few of the sig shops, but none of them really speak to me. So I'm trying my luck here. Stock: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/84/Silver-large.png Color: White and very light reen Size: 350 X150 Text: Dreams of Absolution. Font: Your choice. Avatar: Yes please. Thank you in advance. I'll Rep you as soon as I have some myself.
Okay, this is an ongoing fanfiction by me that has been posted on KH insider under the same name, and on fanfiction.net under a different name. Both of the others have been posted by an 'Allstargamer,' which is me. I'm posting the first chapter along with what I consider the prequal, A one shot fanfic of Xemnas and select members of the Org. The Chapter itself is about Roxas and what he did in the time between his creation and joining the Organization. First, the prequal. A Nobodies Choice: A deathly silence has fallen on Maleficent's castle, which has become the center of Hollow Bastion's recent History. Life stirs in the barren world that exists outside the castle walls. A figure Cloaked in a black coat stands alone on a ridge that oversees. If the world were not barren, if the people of this once great world weren't wiped out or driven away, they would never have known that inside the castle, a young boy is confronting who he believes to be his best friend. That is, nobody except the cloaked figure. As he stands there, silently watching their destinies, and his unfold; five other black cloaked beings emerge from dark gates. After a pause, the first cloaked figure speaks to the others, breaking the crushing silence. “I thought I told you not to disturb me.” The first figure said in a cold and unfeeling voice that could chill one’s heart. With some hesitation, the figure farthest left steps forward and removes his hood, revealing the face of a young man roughly the age of 21. He has short, light blue hair that contrasts his dark colored apparel. He starts to speak in an emotionless tone, different from the first figure’s, in that it was the kind that would be used in business to make one appear professional. “We just thought that you would want an update, lord Xemnas. As per your instructions, Xigbar and Xaldin have been harvesting hearts to add to our 'project.' Lexeaus has managed to harvest some hearts while he, Vexen and I have been over looking the construction of Castle Oblivion. While it was a sizable amount, it won't push us towards completing the project ahead of schedule. In fact, it looks like we won't be finished until ten years after our ten year deadline. Also, we--” “Zexion” The first figure, now confirmed as Xemnas, says sharply, interrupting the youth. He has yet to turn his gaze towards the others. “Y-Yes, lord Xemnas?” Zexion replies, a quiver in his voice. “Why does it take five members of the organization to accomplish a task that one alone would suffice?” Zexion falls silent, unsure of how to answer his superior’s question. After a long pause of silence, the figure farthest to the right of Xemnas, Xigbar, removes his hood, revealing a man with long, scraggily hair made up into a pony tail with a rubber band. He has an eye patch across his right eye. Xigbar speaks up, loudly and profusely. “We came to ask you why you aren't down there!” “This old record again?” Xemnas asks with a hint of annoyance. “Enough. I will hear nothing more of this. I have made my decision.” The cloaked figure to the right of Xigbar pulls back his hood and revealing a man with long, black, cascading hair that has been meticulously made into braids. Anybody who knew him would instantly recognize him as Xaldin. He pleads to Xemnas, urging him on. “You are being given something that all of us can only dream about! The chance to regain their heart! Their original Heart! You can be complete again! Why can't you see that?” “I said Silence!” Xemnas asserted, his anger starting to rise. The Figure to the right of Zexion already has his hood down by now. He has long straight hair that is as tan as the dessert sun. The smells of the chemicals that occupy his lab cling to his coat. Vexen starts to articulate, more from his own fascination of the possibilities of what lie before them than with any real concern for his superior. “ And from a pure scientific stand point, you are passing up a rare opportunity! If we could just capture your Heartless, We can study it! We can find the location of our Heartless, and to purify a heart without the use of a Keyblade! We can even find a way to stay in control, to not allow our hearts, to allow Xehanort, Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus and Ienzo to be the truth! We, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion can become the Truths!” “Silence!” Shouted Xemnas, his patience running thin. “Lord Xemnas, we just want---“ Zexion pleads. “SILENCE!" Xemnas raged. His voice rings out with such anger and malice as it echoes off the canyon walls. He turns around and faces the others. While he has yet to take off his cowl, they still remember the fear that his gaze wrought when they were still capable of feeling, and they remember the power that is backed up by that gaze. They all remember why his word is absolute. The echoes die out, and xemnas’s anger subsides and he composes, returning him to the cold, unfeeling creature that he truly is. He then speaks with the authority that has made him the superior, the absolute ruler of all Nobodies. “Now, I will not hear any more of this. All of you will return to your posts. My word is final.” “Yes, Lord Xemnas.” The five chant in unison, and they leave the same way they came, each one summoning a Door of Darkness and leave to carry out the will of the Organization. All leave, save for one. He lowers his hood and reveals an aged man with spiky, dark red hair. He stands there gazing at Xemnas. “If you have something to say, say it Lexaeus.” Xemnas ordered. “I just want you to know that I think you are making a mistake.” Lexaeus stated. “Maybe so.....” Xemnas turns and locks eyes with Lexaeus, lowering his hood to reveal a man with dark skin, long, silver hair, and a face that reveals that he is stern in his convictions. “But it's my mistake to make.” “Very well.” Lexaeus replies. He opens his gate and leaves, silence falling over the dessert once more. Xemnas once again turning his gaze to the castle below. After a while, Xemnas speaks, as if to some unseen witness of their meeting. “ Don’t insult me. I know you have been waiting just inside the corridor just after they arrived. Tell me Saix, do you plan to criticize me on my actions?” Saix appears from a dark corridor. He has long silver hair and a scar in the shape of an x across his face. He immediately assumes a defensive posture with his arms behind his back as a sign of loyalty towards Xemnas “ It’s not my place to criticize you, Xemnas. I will follow you regardless of your choices. Although, it does raise the question as to why you would not seize such an opportunity.” Saix inquires. Xemnas falls silent. His stern face and gaze falls soft as if he has become lost in his own thoughts. Fearing that he somehow offended him, Saix tries to apologize “Forgive me, Xem---“ “ It is amazing, isn’t it? That a Heartless like my counterpart even exists? “ “ Xemnas?” Saix asks, not even bothered by the fact that he was interrupted. Xemnas turns his gaze to the setting sun, and looks like he is lost in profoundly deep thoughts. Without looking at Saix, he begins to speak. “ Early after the foundation of the Organization, Vexen and Zexion performed a study on the number of Nobodies that exist. They estimated that roughly three billion, two hundred and twenty five million, five hundred thousand Nobodies in existence. Since not all beings produce a Nobody when they become a Heartless, their numbers are supposed to be infinitely greater. Billions and trillions of Heartless, and only one like Xehanort. That is what happens when shed your body and soul so you can give your heart willingly, unyieldingly to the Darkness.” “ I get it now.” States Saix, his hand to his chin, as if he came to some divine understanding. “Your heart wasn’t consumed by Darkness, you were cast away. Abandoned.” Xemnas turns and locks his eyes with Saix. His cold eyes and stern face have returned with even greater resolve than it did before. “Yes. And if my heart prefer to be without me, than I will become real without it! For all Nobodies, I will lead us all to Kingdom Hearts, where all Nobodies can truly exist!” Saix chuckles maliciously as he says “And I will strike down anyone who thinks they can stand in your way.” “We’ll see.” Xemnas grinned . “Why are you here anyway Saix? You wouldn’t break orders unless it is of importance.” “I have Axel stationed at Twilight Town for any interesting developments. And the spells that will summon any Heart released from a Heartless by a Keyblade are almost complete. Pretty soon, we will be able to streamline the production of our 'project.'” Saix Replied. “Perceptive, anticipating my orders like that. It is because of this that you are my second. Thank you, Saix. You are dismissed.” “ Thank you, Xemnas.” “Oh, and before you go, I have one more order for you.” “Yes my liege? “Add one more throne to the meeting chamber. I have a feeling that Organization XII will be changing its name to Organization XIII before the end of the day.” “Of course.” Answered Saix. And with that, Saix left to carry out his tasks. Xemnas returned his gaze to the castle, and watches as a new chapter in the story of two young boys from an isolated island paradise begins, the birth of new Nobody who will have the keys of destiny in his hand, and his own Heart, carrying out its own ambitions. He watches all of this, from the ridge above the castle, Smiling as he watches Kingdom Hearts starts to fall into his grasp. A Nobodies Choice: End. and now, chapter 1 of Beginning of Destiny. Note: later in the fic there is some mild cursing in some parts. Chapter 1: Births and Awakenings Pain. So many things are associated with pain. Fighting, dying, living, and loving. Pain is a constant in all things, even birth. The pain of igniting the spark of life has been considered the most excruciating pains imaginable, Even if it is under the most conventional of circumstances. But what of the pain of birth under the most unconventional circumstances? He remembers once being part of someone, or something else. He was at ease. He was complete. He was whole. He remembered what life was before. Then suddenly, darkness consumes him, and he feels it tearing him away from something precious. He feels it ripping something precious out of him. Separating that precious thing from him. Engulfing it. Consuming it. Then everything goes numb, and he feels himself floating, drifting to someplace else. He thinks of nothing. He feels empty, and begins to silently drifts away to sleep. All of a sudden, there is light. He feels it around him, pulling him back to that precious thing. It comforts him. The warmth puts him at ease. It helps him forget the pain. It helps him forget the emptiness inside of him. It helps him forget. It helps him forget his past. It helps him forget his name… He jolts, as he realizes that the light is pulling his memories away. He desperately tries to hold onto them, and once more he is engulfed in pain. As his memory is torn away, he once again begins to float away, but now he is thrust away. Away from the light, the darkness, and from everything he ever was. He speeds towards a distant world. With out a form, he passes countless worlds. As he nears his destination, it approaches the twilight hour, and once again he is given form. He descends; he rushes across the sky, red from the setting sun. Past the beach, past the streets, past the tower, and into the forest. He lands in a clap of thunder. The wild life scatters. He is born, and like a newborn, he is weak. His entire body is burning. His mind is a haze. It hurts when he tries to move. Fighting past the pain, he struggles to his feet, and desperately starts walking towards the light of the city. Every step he takes feels like his last. He stumbles and falls aftert what seems like an eternity. He instantly falls asleep, too weak to continue. When he awakes, he will be stronger. But for now he must sleep. Interlude: As the last of the sunlight fades, a young boy enters the forest from the hole in the wall surrounding Twilight Town. He stomps around angrily as he scouts out wood to be used as fire wood. “Your fault for putting it off she says. Should have done it when I asked you, she says. BULL! Why couldn’t she just get Mac to do it? He’s old enough now! I made those plans to go to the Arcade with Pence and Ollette weeks ago!” He continues his rant, ignorant that his path is obstructed. “God forbid that the little one should get a little exercise. Why I ottaaaAAAAAH!” THUNK! The young boy trips and hits the ground. Rubbing his head, he rolls over to see what he tripped over. “What kind of jerk leaves a log with arms, legs and blond, spiky hair in the middle of the middle of the road oh MY GOD! There is a NAKED guy in the middle of the road! And pretty messed up by the looks of things. Okay, don’t worry buddy, I’ll take you to our hideout and me and the gang will take care of you!” The young boy picks up the limp stranger and slings his arm around his shoulder and starts limping back to town, unaware that they are being watched by others with their own interest in the stranger. Chapter 1: Births and Awakenings: End.
My name is Allstargamer, or you can call me Allstar or ASG for short. I have an account on KH insider, GameFAQs, and am a Mod on a relatively new forum called Nation of Gamers. I also am writing a KH fanfic which seems to be fairly popular on KHI and Fanfiction.net I'll post it here as well once I get my bearings around this forum. That being said, I hope we can all get along!:)
