Hey! I got an idea! Let's slap the boys, and beat them up because of their stupidity!
XD I could just see the orgymoblile! A big van that is able to fit 13 people in it. And when people pass by, they see 13 adults crammed in the back seats of the van! Oh, this is great!
Okay! I usually do short bitts, because I don't know if people want to read long story bitts. But, I guess they do! ^^ I will update soon! Okay, I'll update it soon! Thankyou soooo much for reading! YES! Second book! *cough,clickherebecauseIamdesperate,cough* there are three stories I'm writing, and they all have to do with eachother. Meaning, they have the same OC characters, and stuff.:D Thankyou SOOOOO much for reading and commenting! *hugs* Yeah, I'm trying to get smoother on my writing, guess this was too smooth. Not solid enough. My writing style's not the best. DX That's something I need to work on. THANKYOU FOR READING AND COMMENTING!:p :D *gives you a cookie with a little "Thankyou" made out of chocolate chips* XD I messed up. I was wondering why it was so long! I clicked "Paste" twice I guess. Darn that repeat! *shakes fist in the air* Thankyou so much!:D :) :p :D *hugs*
coool This is cool! But as critique, It will be cool if we have more detail! I mean, you have this awesome story in your mind, but we can't see the full detail! I mean, it's good, but What was sora feeling at that moment? Stuff like that! Keep it up! I want to read more!
Yeahhhhh! My favorite part of the three part story! THe lost, the liars, and a lot of other losers! For those who care, this is a while after "The liars" so, they are two different stories that connect to eachother! This is my favorite because It has my oc's! Rhy-en http://ic1.deviantart.com/fs14/f/2007/007/a/e/For_RayeofSunshine_Rhy_en_by_GypsyDancer17.png Kyli http://ic1.deviantart.com/fs15/f/2007/027/9/5/Kyli_for_RayeofSunshine_by_GypsyDancer17.png Chapter 1: Bit 1- Dream *new part* The silence echoed horribly in her head. The girl stood in the middle of the white nothingness. She did not know where she was, or why she was there. She just stared down at her blue boots. “KAIRI!†“SORA!†“RIKU!†The girl made a gasp. Three voices had just yelled out names from the void. She turned around, and saw no one. More voices started talking, whispering, all at once. “How does it feel like, Sora? How does it feel to know you have lost.†“How could you do this? I trusted you!†“I would like to say I’m sorry, but you know how much I hate to lie.†She felt a sickening drop in her heart. There was a yell of pain. She yelled too, clutching the sides of her head, and dropping to her knees. Tears streaming down her face, she muttered, “Shut up! Shut up!†Sobbing with her eyes squeezed shut, she waited for the noise to stop. Everything grew quiet, along with her sobs. Bewildered, she opened her eyes, and discovered she was lying on a thick carpet of green grass. She felt it with her fingers, testing if it was real. “Kyli!†A girl yelled her name above her. She looked up to see a girl with spiky hair. She was looking down at her with concern. “Are you alright?†Kyli said nothing, still shocked. She got up to her feet, shakily. She muttered “I don’t know.†“Well, no offense, but this isn’t exactly the time to have a random space-out. Hacker is on the Radio.†Her vision still seemed to be blurred. Her spiky haired friend appeared to be a smudged painting. This was all very difficult. Her dizziness didn’t help either. In her friend’s hand was a radio. She picked it up with difficulty, still feeling as if she was on a rocking ship. She held it up to her ear, and heard a fuzzy voice talked out of it. “I’m getting a sign of an unidentified space craft coming into our atmosphere. The secretary of defense is going nuts! You were right all along!†She smiled, massaging her temples, and groaning “Thanks Hacker.†“No problem, Angel.†There was a clicking noise, then the voice started talking again. “Hey, I think we might have something here. Listen to this.†There was more clicking, and then a new voice came onto the radio. A woman’s voice that was very robotic and brisk. “State your identification.†There was a second of silence, and then a new voice spoke. This was young, and male. “Um, Sora.†“You are unauthorized to be in Silver city boundries. You will be exterminated in 10 . . .†“Wait!†The second voice yelled. “I’ll leave!†“ . . . 9 . . . 8†Kyli looked up and saw the tiny space ship in the sky. “. . .7. . . 6 . . .†The ground 20 yards away from her started opening up, revealing a weapon. It pointed up to the tiny ship. “. . . 5. . . 4 . . . 3 . . .†Kyli held her breath, waiting for the impact. The space ship was trying to change course, as quickly as it could. “ . . . 2 . . .1 . . .†There was a horrible sonic boom as the weapon fired a sort of energy up at the ship. The ground shook as if it were an earth quake. Kyli and her friend staggered, and fell to their knees. She looked up to see an explosion that was once was the small space ship. “Please be alive! Please be alive!†She muttered, closing her eyes. She opened them again, and watched the pieces of the ship fall towards the ground. “I think he didn’t make it.†The friend said. Kyli closed her eyes, sadness touching her heart. But then, something shocked in her brain. She got up, and held out her hand in front of her. She felt an odd sensation in her hand, and a golden weapon appeared. She pointed it up to the sky where the ship had been, and a light burst from the end of the weapon. The light blinded her for a second, and the next thing she knew she was laying on a bed. Chapter 1: Bit- 4? Raining MEn? Sora was in between sleep and awake. His eyes were closed, but he could still hear whispers from all around him. “Hope he’s alrightâ€, “Lucky he’s aliveâ€, “That was scary.†Sora could hear the words, but he could not understand them. His head hurt too much to let anything sink into his brain at the moment. “Do you remember what Kyli said? He was looking for his girlfriend. Her name was Kairi, or something.†At the sound of this name, Sora’s eyes snapped open. He knew what his goal was now: To find and rescue Kairi. He looked to the ceiling, but didn’t let his eyes linger for long. “He’s awake!†One of the voices gasped. He sat up, and turned around. As he stood up, an agonizing pain shot through his leg. He collapsed back on to the bed, groaning in pain. “You’re leg’s broken, genius!†He then took a moment to recognize his surroundings. He was in a large room filled with kids around his age and younger. It was also filled with rusty bunk beds, and various items such as a broken ping pong table, a television with a hole in the screen, and many other items that seemed to be stolen out of a junk yard. Kids were passing by him, staring oddly at him. When three girls walked passed, and started giggling, he noticed he didn’t have a shirt on. He ctched the bed sheets, and wrapped them around his torso. “Where’s my shirt?†A girl with red hair held up a piece of clothing with rips, tears, and a large burn hole that took away most of the clothing. “You mean this thing?â€
The Liars- Sora was missing? All gone. Love yous.
COOL! "rock hard abs" XD Love it! But If I was in Kairi's position . . . I would say that too . . . but you got to admit, Riku's a little more buff. :) :p
Yeah. Hello. I haven't introduced myself yet. So, hi! Hello. I'm Raye. If you need me, I'll be in the Creative corner's section! :D
Wow! you are good! You're awesome to do this! --I'm trying to request one, because you are so good at siggies, but I don't Have it yet . . . I'll edit this post later!--- You so rock!
OOH! can I join? My OC that I made up five seconds ago: Tish(or, if anyone can find me a better name). She lives in twilight town, and she loves mystery. And, let's say she has a crush on Riku. Her looks: Click here for Pic, Pic (c) to Saturdayx AND This pic Her story: She starts investigating the "Abandoned Mansion", and she comes along with her camera, and she doesn't believe what she finds . . . Is it Good? ---------------------------- Tish had her large camera around her neck. She walked through the forest. It seemed creepy in this forest. No one was around, but she had a weird feeling someone was there, or someone had just been there. She walked farther in, and saw an opening. Beyond this opening was a large gate. Beyond this gate was the Mansion. She smiled, and walked towards her goal. --------------- You likes?:p
COOOL! *continues Reading*
"THe other Keyblade" Said it all . . . so . . . yeah. But I want to add, you do pretty good on the details! You do! The clouds, and the pink dress. The only thing is you do good and then we want more!
Darn, I found this on the 13th. Oh, well. I'll try next time! This sounds really cool!
I finally read it! YEAH! Cool! You write very fluidly . . . It's not hard to read, not confusing!
The second one sounds nice! :) I'm writing something similar to it, so if you read mine, I just wanna say i didn't copy yours! You're good at this stuff!
http://www.kh-vids.net/index.php?page=kh2fmcutsubs Look for "An Old friend" and "the New Head quaters"
All gone. Sorry, I love yous.
Hmm . . . Black, Asian? I think they are "Squarians". You know, Flawless skin, bodies to die for, Guys are so hot it's hard to not stare at them for hours, A girls have such perfect Bodies, You want to shoot them. A girls have too little waste, and too big of bust. Guys have Spikey hair without gel. Should I go on? And, Mikey, Goofy, Donald are all toons. Weird voices, Comical Moments, Air heads of a sort, and they are too cute! :p But . . . riku seems asian by his eyes . . . they're not as huge! . . . Do asains have blue/silver hair? And who thinks Riku is Kadaj's long lost brother?
Oh, don't worry, there will be more . . . lots more. *faints*
Well, a mary sue is someone who is toooooo much, you know? Example: "I am Katikushi Yamikattivaqua who is an orphan who has the power to control all the elements, and Riku loves me, and I have three keyblades, and I am Demyx's cousin, and I have been prophecied to open the door to light, and i am the UNKNOWN princess of Heart, And I have rainbow hair" ect, ect. The reason why I thought of yours is just because she's related to Marluxia . .. but it's a part of the story, so your safe! Well, the URL will change soon . . . but here: Because I wanted to, Okay? http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/52667350/
