The phone ringing in the middle of the night was never a good sign, especially when you knew it was bad news on the other end. That didn't stop Jake picking up the phone, it didn't stop him from running to the house next door and banging his fists against the door, begging his neighbours to drive him up to the hospital. It didn't stop him from asking to see his cousin who had just been critically injured in a car crash. It didn't stop his cousin from asking their family to give them a few moments alone and they did. Now, Jake almost wished they hadn't. The moments after they'd left, his cousin had told him a funny story and also told him that he loved him and wouldn't ever leave his side. Jake was the one person in the world, that James felt the most love for. But even his love didn't stop him from leaving. He left in a moment, feeling tired, going to rest and then the machine next to him emitted a low flat beeping sound. And Jake knew, that James was never going to be there for him like he'd promised. As his tears began to fall, Jake held onto his cousin's hand more tightly, secretly begging him to come back. But he never. Not even when the doctors tried resucitating him. Nothing would ever bring James back. The next few days were spent in a daze, his mother was sorting out funeral arrangements, Jake was helping clear out James' room. All of it seemed so final. This couldn't be happening. James' car keys, phone and lucky charm were all in a bag on his bedside table. The charm was smashed, broken maybe from the impact of the collision. Why now? Why did James have to be so cool and be the life of the party? If he hadn't gone to that party and taken his car, he would still be alive. James' pictures of himself, his friends and family, mainly a picture of him and Jake, caught his eye. They looked so much like each other, except for the slight change in eye colour and facial structure that was James. Jake had to smile at it, it had been taken at a party and James, for once, had not been drunk. He just looked happy, with his arm around Jake's shoulders. They had so many memories together and now they were to be thrown away, to be let go. He didn't know how to cope, he didn't know what he was meant to do in his life now that James had left it. It just seemed too empty for him. He couldn't ask Sammi for help, she had run off with a new boyfriend and Jake couldn't really blame her for that. He definitely wouldn't ask Karly. The girl was way too jealous of anything that even had the slightest hint of other girls in the area, she'd even stopped him from seeing his friends at one point. There was only one person left, who he knew would give him a shoulder to lean on, Liz, the girl he'd cheated on, lied to but still, for some reason, loved him. She would understand. He walked back to the Hangout, the 'underground club' where his friends worked and hung out. It wasn't a club at all, it was the basement of a diner where they all worked. Work there, get to play downstairs, it was a job Jake had loved for many years and had shared with both James and Liz. He walked into the diner and headed straight downstairs, wrapping his arms around his head as soon as he sat at one of the old diner tables that had been placed there, and started to cry. It was the first time he had cried since James' funeral, but even though most people would say it felt good to let it out, he felt terrible, if only he'd been in that car too... It was in these moments of wishing himself dead that somebody placed a mug of steaming coffee in front of him. He looked up at his best friend since he'd started school, Lee gave him a small smile and tapped him on the shoulder gently. "I've gotta get back to work," he whispered in Jake's ear, "but, your parents told me what happened... I'm so sorry." With those awkward words, Lee left Jake staring into his coffee. He couldn't escape the images in his head, what if he hadn't been there? He would never have seen that last smile... He never did get a chance to say goodbye either. He wanted someone to tell him that it was okay, not that they were sorry. Just something I found lying in my e-mail... thought I'd share it. I could write more if you guys want xD
Well this is the closest you'll ever get... (Ignore the random hearts and the writing, someone clicked 'replace image' on my phone after messing around with it :( ) View attachment 22571 The wig actually looked better in London. Although I hate that wig now xD
Hey KHV! How are you all? xD Feels like I haven't been here in ever! Yeah, I actually have had kind of a social life.... xD
These lyrics are NOT based on the My Chemical Romance song of the same name. I wrote these today, and this seemed to be the perfect title. You tried to shut me up, keep me in a cage, Safely hidden from being affected by the world, And you used to tell me all the time that I could be something special, I guess you were right, you were right, Was I wrong, in your mind, in your eyes? I can't take it anymore, I'll take a stand and you'll bury your head in the sand, Wishing that I'd just disappear, I tell you things you don't wanna hear, You cover your ears and walk away, What does it matter when I'm just a girl? If I don't mean anything to you, you don't need to show it, If I don't mean anything to you, you don't have to show it, I wanted to turn this around, take this whole thing down And look where we've ended up now, Is this where we stand? Is this where we stand? With nothing to say, just trying to find a mistake held in each other's hands, Then I'm leaving this behind now. You say that I'm starting a fight, But can't you see, you're setting the place alight, Trying to pick out all of the flaws in me, And once I start to defend, you act like we have to be friends, You make this so difficult for me. I can't take it anymore, I'll take a stand and you'll bury your head in the sand, Wishing that I'd just disappear, I tell you things you don't wanna hear, You cover your ears and walk away, What does it matter when I'm just a girl? If I don't mean anything to you, you don't need to show it, If I don't mean anything to you, you don't have to show it, I wanted to turn this around, take this whole thing down And look where we've ended up now, Is this where we stand? Is this where we stand? With nothing to say, just trying to find a mistake held in each other's hands, Then I'm leaving this behind now. This is how I disappear, This is how I disappear, This is how I disappear, This how I Leave you here to pick up your own pieces, This is how I don't say goodbye, It's your own fault that we ended up like this, 'Cause I know now, yeah I know now, I know that to you I don't mean anything and you don't have to show it, I know that to you, I don't mean anything and now, This is where we stand, This is where we stand, This is how I disappear. If I don't mean anything to you, you don't need to show it, If I don't mean anything to you, you don't have to show it, I wanted to turn this around, take this whole thing down And look where we've ended up now, Is this where we stand? Is this where we stand? With nothing to say, just trying to find a mistake held in each other's hands, Then I'm leaving this behind now. This is where we stand, trying to find a mistake held in each other's hands, You don't have to show it, You don't have to say it, 'Cause I don't mean anything, This is how I disappear, This is how I disappear, This is how I disappear, This how I This is where we stand, This is where we stand. You tried to shut me up, keep me in a cage.
Smiled all day, got told by some random dude that I was "oddly cute" Spoiler I Imagined this: Then got home from college and saw my friend who I haven't seen in a year or so!! YAY! <3 KHV, Have this:
10 Days until I go to MCM! 10 Days until I'll post pictures of me in my full Misa cosplay (not doing contacts now :( No money xD) 10 Days until I squee with delight over a new game I didn't know was coming out... or some dude cosplaying as anybody who's awesome! CAN NOT WAIT! <3
This is basically a song about my life based on real events in my life. I can't stand people smiling when I'm breaking, I hate it when people can tell that I'm faking my whole life, I like banana splits and licking mint ice cream off my lips, And I love it when people speak to me. How could a girl like me be a bit of a world that never fits just right? And I like relaxing in the moonlight on top of my roof every night, There's something strange about me. And nobody seems to notice that I'm just me, They're all to busy trying to make me into what they want me to be, I'm so perfect for a girl like me, Heaven can wait, I can live my dream, With you by my side and everything's feeling alright, 'Cause I got you, yeah, and you're gonna help me through All the wind and the rain, the fire and its flames, Because you'd stick with me through anything, And you know I'd do it all over again for you. This friendship's taken a turn and there are still lessons, That we have to learn, Since there seems to be no place for a girl like me, A lone dreamer in a single parent family, 'cause God knows he never cared for me, Dreams of reaching the top, dreaming of getting on that stage to rock, My country music to awaken the ten year old girl in me, There's something secret about me. And nobody seems to notice that I'm just me, They're all to busy trying to make me into what they want me to be, I'm so perfect for a girl like me, Heaven can wait, I can live my dream, With you by my side and everything's feeling alright, 'Cause I got you, yeah, and you're gonna help me through All the wind and the rain, the fire and its flames, Because you'd stick with me through anything, And you know I'd do it all over again for you. But on that night, the heartbreak that I faced when I saw you, It was all a mistake I never meant to make, Tried to stay strong, tried to comfort you, And then I fell in love, Didn't really know where I was going to, Seemed like the world had started tumbling down, And the only safe place seemed to be you, Just what did I do? There's something that's changed about me. And nobody seems to notice that I'm just me, They're all to busy trying to make me into what they want me to be, I'm so perfect for a girl like me, Heaven can wait, I can live my dream, With you by my side and everything's feeling alright, 'Cause I got you, yeah, and you're gonna help me through All the wind and the rain, the fire and its flames, Because you'd stick with me through anything, And you know I'd do it all over again for you Nobody knows just how much, You all mean to me. This is life as I know it, And nobody knows, nobody sees, How much you all mean to me, Just how much you all mean to me.
Bus fare to and from college (daily): £3 Food: £4.20 Camera for Media Project: £5 Tape for camera: £5 Resitting that exam you got told you weren't entered for: £18 I have no munny!!! *sob*
Especially when everything's going fine until break when that one person you CANNOT STAND (think about the one person you would most like to punch in the face and,um, multiply that by 100061. Yes, that's how much I hate this person.) comes up to you, sits down and starts "joking" about how you'll never have a life because you're too busy playing FF and KH to listen to her annoying, whiny, monotonus voice and she's so much smarter than you (but can't decipher Shakespearean, can't make any kind of video, probably doesn't know what the word "monotonus" means, ditto "defenestration" and "floccinaucinihilipilification" and thinks that asking people to work with you on your media project is stupid) and then at lunch, just when it can't get worse. Your ex sits by you and just STARES at you, throwing you dirty looks when you so much as talk to a member of the opposite sex. UGH.[video=youtube;AWiccrTB4LM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWiccrTB4LM&ob=av2e[/video]
I can't remember how and I'm making a video xD
Haven't been here for a while, so I thought I'd share with you guys my saddest lyrics yet. And OMG. I actually have music for it...except I'll need to figure out how to download it xD Comments and critique is always, always welcomed, as is constructive criticism :) Dear you, why won't you come home and hold me like you used to? Why did they have to shoot you down, shoot you down? It isn't fair, you were mine, But now you're holding a star from far above, I can't stop the tears from my eyes, I know you're watching over me But I just don't feel right. You made my world go 'round, Why can't I hold you once more, how could I have known that you would hit the ground? And I'd be left all alone, I'm alone tonight. Once in your arms, I could feel okay, I could face every day, But not anymore. You're gone and I'm stuck right here, wanting to understand, wanting to hold your hand, But I can't. Dear you, you were the light of my life, the one thing that saved me. And now you've left me and I don't know if I can be angry, Your voice will never be heard,your voice that was my music all of these years, But since you're gone, I just can't carry on. You made my world go 'round, Why can't I hold you once more, how could I have known that you would hit the ground? And I'd be left all alone, I'm alone tonight. Once in your arms, I could feel okay, I could face every day, But not anymore. You're gone and I'm stuck right here, wanting to understand, wanting to hold your hand, But I can't. And I'm waiting for tomorrow to fall, For the day when it will somehow all be okay. And I don't want to lose your memory, I just want to see you next to me when I'm lying awake, You sleeping there with a smile on your face. I want to stop crying, my heart is dying, why can't I die with it? You made my world go 'round, why can't I hold you once more? Dear you, why did you have to go? And why couldn't I come with you? These tears rolling down my face, they are the last traces of you, As they lower the coffin down, into the ground, I wanna jump in with you. Dear you. You made my world go 'round, Why can't I hold you once more, how could I have known that you would hit the ground? And I'd be left all alone, I'm alone tonight. Once in your arms, I could feel okay, I could face every day, But not anymore. You're gone and I'm stuck right here, wanting to understand, wanting to hold your hand, But I can't. I'm too busy writing letters to a dead man, I'm to busy writing letters to a dead man...
[video=youtube;JTmRyp6_rWc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTmRyp6_rWc[/video] ... blast from the past and I just realised, I was a strange kid. I used to fancy Charlie Simpson.... but his eyebrows practically made his face. I had/have some weird crushes. Just curious KHV, but who were/are your weird crushes? I will list more of mine xD
and half drunk... <3 Talk to mee?
These are some examples I got: ... Seriously?
I was in that day, I wasn't skipping or ill. I was actually in all day. So... can you stop having a go at me for your stupid mistakes?! Otherwise I may explode.
Time for the old pigtails to go into my hair, while I colour it with stripes of coloured gel. :( What's a good plan when you have food poisoning?
IDK, my friend thinks it's a good idea.
:( This requires a jar of nutella, a banana and a spoon.
FINALLY! ...And the guy behind the counter engaged me a nice discussion about why KH and FF is so awesome. If he wasn't about 24, I'd hang out with him on a regular basis. ^_^
COLOR="pink"]Chapter one - Heels Over Head[/COLOR] The school bell rang, signalling the start of the day as Mrs Pettigrew ran outside to bark orders at the students coming in through the gates. I often joked that Mrs Pettigrew was a vampire and hated teenagers for their youthfulness. A thing she could never have. But everybody knew that wasn't true. My school years were coming to an end, I knew as I walked into form and sat in my usual seat. Pairing the school's uniform with black skinny jeans was an idea that ran through the school right now, as were wearing trainers with it. I wore black skinny jeans with pink skeleton handprints on the back and pink and black etnies with mine. However I wasn't expecting a new student right near the end of the year. He walked into the room, his sandy blond hair framing his face as it fell in soft layers ending at the nape of his neck. He didn't look over-confident or overly shy. He did exude a certain aura of confidence with him though somehow. His black and white checkered backpack sat snuggled into his spine. He walked over to the teacher and said something before coming over and sitting down, right in front of me. He turned around and his blue eyes locked onto mine. "Hi, my name's Jake." he muttered, without moving his lips but still every word came out clearly. "Shannon." I muttered back, doodling in my notebook. "Shannon" He tasted the name, "I like it. That's...Irish, right?" "Yes." "Are you Irish?" He asked, staring at me. "No..." I stretched the word out. "Oh. You're...nice...enough to be Irish. That's why I thought...you were." He ruffled the back of his hair with his left hand, a gesture I recognised from somewhere, except I couldn't place it. The bell rang again and I rushed off to morning classes, with Jake's gesture in my mind. "Jake McCartney?" Jeff Bowls' head whipped up, looking around the room for the boy who'd answered a lazy "Here sir." I looked too, and saw Jake resting on one of the chairs. He flashed a smile at me and I grinned back. His surname was McCartney? Where had I heard that before? (I mean, aside from Paul McCartney, Jesse McCartney, Stella McCartney - I don't even know who she is...) It was later on in the class when he came over that I realised where. Right after he'd asked "Hey, Shan... you know Lee Flynn, don't you?" I stared at him with my mouth open for a while before answering. "Of course I do... he's my cousin." It all made sense, the hair ruffle - that was something Lee tended to do while talking a lot, the name McCartney - Lee always had plans to meet up with McCartney, in fact he'd once said that I'd like him. "You're....?" Jake leaned in closer to me, "That's right. I'm Lee's best friend. Part of the organization he's trying to get you to join. I knew I recognised you." "Computer guy?" I asked, placing him working at a computer, intently adjusting some settings. "I'm not sure that's the right name for it..." Jake smiled. I remembered something else before realising Jake was wearing a black hoody as well, "Lift up your sleeve." I commanded. "Sure babe, but which one?" I shut my eyes, trying to remember. "Right." I answered. He lifted up his sleeve to show off a black and white checkered wristband, with a black trim around it. "I, uh, made the trim myself." He whispered. "Let's start over?" I asked. He nodded in response, "I'm Shannon, nice to meet you." He took my hand and shook it, "I'm Jake. Wanna grab coffee?"
