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I'm actually kind of this way too, when I'm on my bed resting and I kind of fall asleep, if my computer turns off I immediately wake up because of the absense of that noise.

It's better if I read in silence though because I can easily absorb more information without having to re-read, atleast in my opinion, personal preferences.

It's not like I'm completely ignorant to the concept of happiness; I just can't, when I do feel it, experience it for more than 5 minutes without interruption from guilt, remorse or my low self-esteem bringing me down (Example: I felt heavy remorse upon posting this for a reason not yet clear). My apologies if I made it seem otherwise. But I can feel it, I know it's down there, under all that debris.

Still, people keep telling me when I was young I was a very happy person (I find that hard to believe, I was very physical possession-driven back then)

Of course, I'm not saying I can't be helped, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this and continued in silence (Okay, maybe I would have still posted this as I need to vent out to feel slightly better, but still...)

Honestly, at this point I'm AT THE LEAST aiming for emotional stability, I just can't bear with me getting depressed every hour for the most insignificant thing.

If by "The ability to feel happiness" you mean by "Your happiness is covered by a enourmous heap of sorrow" then yes, I agree.

Sadly, I talked to my psychologist multiple times, and no matter how many times I bring it up, she seems more focused on me going outside to the world rather than finding my inner happiness (Which I know that is something one has to find in itself) and when she does bother to focus on my happiness, she barely knows how to fix that problem.

I'm not bothered by this because I had horrible experiences with psychologists, the one before practically told me to drop out of secondary school (Which I didn't, by the way) and finish it whenever I feel like. That and I get along fine with my current psychologist.

Sometimes I feel my psychiatrist is the only person that can truly help me, but he is quite a busy person.

Anyways, thank you.

Oh sorry, forgot to include this on my original post, I go to both a psychologist and psychiatrist, and take medication for my depression.

Honestly, it doesn't helps me at all, I've been in treatment for around... 2 years in May and barely anything, I did get cured of most of my OCD but barely any progress in my depression, it keeps going back and forth.

That's exactly what my psychiatrist said, chemical imbalance, still, I still feel there is something missing in me, because I keep looking back at all this.

Ah, I see.

By the way, question, do you have an idea of what kind of Mic are you going to get? Cardiod or Condenser? Karaoke or USB?

I'm asking you this because I might ask for a new mic, my current one is... Alright for playing around but I want to get serious. And I barely know what kind of mic to pick, there are just so many brands and models. <_<

At this point I don't know if is really the sound card what's dropping my voice's quality or the mic. And I'm actually quite obsessed with quality and stuff.

Haha, that makes two of us, I personally up to today still commit mistakes a person of my degree shouldn't (Specially with percussion), I literally thank my progression on musical composition to my MIDI Keyboard and my average Keyboardist abilities, on top of learning a lot of theory on chords and stuff (I haven't learned any theory on harmony yet, I do that all by ear)

Still, I really appreciate it. c:

The vocals are definately louder, but your voice starts to fade away eventually and then comes back (Like for example at 00:45)

Is it because of the in-built Microphone not getting your voice properly?

Also listening to this more closely, it seems you also might indeed have an on-board sound card (Or maybe it's the mic again?) because the quality isn't top-notch (As in, it does a "Pop" or cracking sound whenever you hit a high or loud note), do mind that even with the best Mic with an on-board sound card the sound recording quality is going to sound alright at best (I know that myself because I ALSO have an on-board sound card for now).

But not trying to bring down your creativity or equipment, it's a pretty nice cover and from a vocal standpoint.

I enjoyed it personally. c:

No problem. c:

Yeah we've all started small, it's our ability to grow up what truly matters.

Ah, I see, and I guess you haven't learned to use the pentool yourself enough to do linearts from your sketches.

Again, if you have any questions don't feel afraid to PM me or to just ask around here. Just don't expect me to explain it perfectly as I'm awful at explaining. I know the terminology and the overwhelming about of tools good image edition programs have can be too scary but when you get a hold of it, it's easy.

Well, beforehand, sorry if I'm too rough, but I really want you to improve. And sorry for taking so long to reply! I didn't notice this topic lol.

Avatars:

Missing a bit of colour, and maybe a light source of sorts, also some of them are oversharpened, lower the opacity (The visibility of the layer) on the layer applied with Sharpen (Providen you Applied image on a new layer and then sharpened it)

Signatures:

You seem to be in an alright direction but you are missing the fundamentals, the rule of thirds for example, did you know for starters when you make a tag/signature/banner the stock/character/picture-to-put-focus-on doesn't have to be on the dead center, but not too much on the left or right either?

Misty made a tutorial on it long ago, here it is incase you are interested: http://....deviantart.com/art/The-Rule-Of-Thirds-Part-I-76835329

Also the text on the tags could use some work, try using clippng masks (The act of Applying Image on an empty layer, then right clicking on that layer while the layer you want to use as the Clipping Mask's base is under it, then select "Make a Clipping Mask" or something like so), using colors already established on the tag but either a lighter/darker rendition of it, or a color that isn't specifically on the same part as the text, but still fits. Also the font isn't to die for, exactly.

It also could use some color, you don't know the dfiference a few Gradient Maps (A special kind of layer, you'll need to tell me if you use GIMP or Photoshop for me to tell you how to use them as they have different menus) on Soft Light or Lighter (The Layer "Mode") on low opacity make, it really feels worlds apart. Experiment with the colors and don't feel afraid to do so.

Also Number 4 and 5 are a bit too big to be signatures, maybe LPs (Large Pieces) though. And number 4 has more than one point of focus, so that could arise some problems.

Wallpaper:

I don't know much about wallpapers so I can't judge this lol.

Traditional Art:

Again, don't know much of this stuff but it feels a bit plain shading-wise, what I usually do with Traditional Art is sketch it and then use Photoshop to color it (By putting the layers of color on Multiply) or shade it using the same process but with blacks and grays, maybe you can add some layers of darker tones on your image editor on Multiply too?

Good work, by the way. If you have any questions feel free to ask me or drop me a PM. c:

Yeah, I only do artistic things when I feel in the mood to do.

I actually used to read books on psychology and stuff, so there's that.

Rofl actually I'm terrible at drawing from my mind, I copy something everytime, and I own a drawing tablet. I really need to take drawing classes but that schedule...

I GUESS I could take classes on Friday but if something happens I have that day to fix things up.

Anyways, going to stop derailing this thread I guess.

Nah, it's fine. c:

Well, my OCD started one day when I was laying down on bed and had a sudden panic attack, I feel like the world was going to go down or something, since then I started to do... Weird stuff. Like, think I had to not think bad thoughs when I was front of mirrors, turn on a light switch, interact with things, etc.

One day, when I was laying down again on my bed, before going to sleep, some strange thoughts had risen on my head, previously I choose to ignore them, but I kept hearing them "Why are you doing this or that?" and then it came "Why are you eating meat? It's what you are composed of". Ever since then whenever I think of eating meat I notice a small sensation on my body depending on the body part of the animal I'm thinking off.

I swear my OCD started because of my complete neglectment to the world and the concept of "Love", and when I open myself up to any woman I end up more obsessive and posessive and I can't help sometimes but to just act that way. It's like I'm insane but with conciousness.

Ever since May of... 2012 I think? I've taken psychriatric medication, and it helps a lot but when I'm fully conscious of my acts I notice how this is something I'll have to bear for the rest of my life.

And they say mental illnesses and depression go hand in hand...

Anyways *Puts topic back on rails* If you want to keep on talking about this I suppose it would be best if we keep it short or on PMs, I don't mind either option.

Honestly, I can understand your point of view, it's possible to look at meat and not see a dead animal, but it's impossible for me, it has been always been like this on my life lol. I agree it's just a differene in viewpoint.

And ouch, that's quite an anecdote.

Oh trust me, it isn't easy for me to find time either (Well, maybe easier than you), every day but Friday and weekends I have an activity (Psychologist, English Teacher Career twice a week and Singing), so I have to plan my day knowing that in that exact time, I have to put down everything and go do that.

But it's oh so relaxing when you have the time to vent out your frustrations via art, and so healthy. c:

Also, we sucessfully derailed this thread, good game ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah, begin honest, while I enjoyed the taste, I was always sickened when I saw raw meat.

Balancing a diet is never easy, I know that because of personal experience (Most of my life I was kind of fat until now when I got serious about dieting).

Under what context they say they "can't"? Because they like meat too much? Well, they WOULD be privating themselves of their favorite food if they like meat so much, so I can see a few issues being risen up (Namely feeling lost what to eat most of the time and when buying food). The only reason why I could go through with this is because I liked meat but it wasn't my favorite food.

Honestly in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter what you are as long as you are content with what you are, and are not hurting yourself/anyone else in the process.

Honestly, I believe anyone has the possibility of being a scumbag, no matter how humble are your intentions. Quick to shame people? Wow, I would have never though. I'll be honest and say I feel my vegetarianist not as something to be proud of, but instead as a life experience I had to go through. Even then, this isn't something to pick other people off for. They have their opinions.

Also, thanks for all of you for your replies. I wish I could think of things I haven't already stated to reply to you all asdfghj.

Aww, thank you! I really appreciate it.

It's not an easy task to manage two balance time for two kinds of art (Graphics and Music Composition), so yeah.

Orchestral and piano-based composition, no electric guitars this time.

Like I said, only inspired by Queen's "The March Of The Black Queen" in theory only. And it's mostly an experiment (I need to try out new stuff, after all).

Personally I like how this turned out. c:

I see, that's very interesting about why some people become vegetarians, I never though it would be because what's in the meat itself.

By the way, that's probably true actually, somebody of my family who's also a vegetarian has irritable colon, can't eat things with seeds (Or barely any vegetarian's alternative to protein) and is actually anemic because of that. Actually I though for a long time the reason I was so physically destroyed is because I was anemic too but I eat a lot of soy to compensate.

Honestly, your diet doesn't bother me at all. Whatever works it works.

And thanks to both of you for your answers.

Definitely, I understand your point completely as I enjoyed the taste a lot too. And I am physically destroyed almost everytime due to my lack of protein and such in my diet and almost everything I tried that has it tastes kind of awful. So I can see the pros and cons clearly.

I do like soy, though. And my favorite food has always been flour-based (Pasta, pizza, etc) so I can't complain much. Besides my guilt is still there.

Hmm, I never though it that way, maybe I AM hearing it from my angle and it sounds exactly the same as when people hear me.

Thank you!

Anyways, listening to Guilty Gear Xrd's OST and goodness gracious's Slayer's theme, THAT SAX.

Again, thank you, I really appreciate your thoughs. c:

But it's like when you record and hear your own voice, that's what I meant to say, unless you have an audio-obsessed-person-tier mic it's never going to sound 100% the same.

Still, thank you. c: