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Nice! Your doing alot better writing-wise *winks*

Keep it up! :D

You know, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. Your not that great of a writer. You focus too much on your dialog and there isn't enough naritive. I belive you don't portray Axel or Larxene's personalities too well, either. But let me tell you this.

You have a pretty damn good storyline on your hands!

Also, get Axel some anger management, please. I'd hate to see him leave the organization, I'd acually rather see him die.

Alright, scratch that comment I left for you in the first chapter. This is so totally diffrent from my own story line. Yeah, I think Alice's first comment you should listen to. She does have a point about the whole *making the sentances look and sound better* thing and *stop repeating names over and over* thing. For a first time fanfic, yeah, it's going well. Keep it up, let's see what happens in your next chapters.

interesting!

It sounds good, and it's detailed. I think you can go somewhere with this. Keep it up, and I'll read the rest.

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Once again, my story line! :(

Ah, too bad for me. I'll learn to deal with it.

Yeah, you wrote it pretty good, I must admit. :D Keep it up!

*maybe you should check out my story and see how I went about doing it =)*

Roxas's days in the Organization (Chapter Five)

Next chapter is out! :D :D :D Hopefully you can agree with me that this chapter is a tiny bit more interesting than my last ones. It's also longer. ON WITH THE SHOW! PLEASE COMMENT GOOD + BAD

Chapter 5
Day 5
~The New and Improved Dinning Room~

Roxas, Demyx, and Axel decided that they all would take turns doing the chores. Roxas and Demyx sat in the dinning room at the new table and waited for Axel to return from cooking breakfast. Eventually he did, except the frying pan was smoking and the ends of his white apron was singed.

“Axel, you didn’t use your own fire to cook this, did you?” Xemnas asked him. Axel walked over to the table shaking his head.

“If I did, I wouldn’t have burned everything.” He slid a bunch of, what was supposed to be, eggs off the frying pan and into a large plate in the middle of the table, everyone hesitating before grabbing an egg of their own. Roxas stared at his and laughed to himself.

The egg was a gray color. He poked it with his fork and it was rock solid. The girl next to him even went to the extremes to try to take a bite out of it. When she did, he heard a crunch like toast. She started chewing it slowly before spitting it out into a napkin.

“Axel, what, are you trying to poison us?!” She screamed at him. Axel raced back into the kitchen. Roxas took a glance at Demyx and saw him repeatedly poking his egg and looking at it like it was about to jump off his plate and start dancing. Lexaeus was chewing happily on his egg, clearly oblivious to everything.

“Y’know little dude, before one of us drops dead from your cooking, just bring out some cereal and milk so we can eat our breakfast now.” Xigbar chimed in. Roxas heard Axel laugh quietly to himself.

Axel emerged from the kitchen without his chef hat or apron. He had thirteen bowls stacked up in his one hand and two boxes of Lucky Charms in the other hand. He had two make a return trip to get the gallon of milk. Everyone poured themselves a bowl of cereal (except for Lexaeus, who clearly had no idea what was going on and was still eating his egg) and began to eat. They didn’t eat their breakfast in silence, though.

“Hey Larxene, did you ever fix that one kunai of yours?” Vexen asked the girl sitting next to Roxas. She nodded.

“Planning to test it out one day?” said Demyx, shoveling a huge spoonful of cereal into his mouth and spinning some milk all over his lap. She smiled evily.

“I’ll be willing to test it out on you.” She said. Demyx looked at her scared and gulped the entire mouthful of cereal down without chewing it. It got stuck in his throat. He began to choke.

Apparently, they were used to Demyx choking because none of the organization members helped him. When Demyx began to turn purple and was holding his neck, Axel gave him a worried look. He then fell on top of the table, spilling his milk over. He lay on the table, arms sprawled out and covered in spilt milk. He staid there, motionless.

Saix gripped his spoon tightly, trying so hard to keep his mouth shut. Axel stood up and hit Demyx really hard in the back. He came back to life, swallowing the rest of the cereal.

Larxene shook her head. “Idiot.”

Roxas’s head perked up. He spoke on instinct.

“Don’t call him that.” He said, sounding rude. Axel took a deep breath and moved back in his chair. Xigbar whistled softly and smiled. Larxene slowly turned her head towards Roxas, her eyes looking sharp and cruel.

“What was that, new kid?” She said between clenched teeth. Demyx was wiping some milk off of the table and his coat, looking at Roxas with a nervous expression on his face. Roxas had no idea what he was in for.

He stood a bit taller in his chair and looked her in the eye. “I said don’t call him an idiot.”

By this time, the rest of the organization pretty much new that Roxas was done for. Xemnas was glaring at them instensly, Xigbar was shaking his head, Xaldin was staring expressionless with his arms cross, Vexen’s jaw was dropped, Lexaeus was still eating his egg, Zexion was looking down and smiling to himself, Saix continued to eat his cereal but listened closely, Axel was leaning back in his chair with his hand on his forhead, Luxord was picking up some cards and watching them two, and Marluxia stopped trying to fix his bandage on his head to listen.

Larxene grabbed him by the coat collar and stood up, pulling Roxas out of his chair.

“Are you looking for a fight? Cause you just found one,” she snarled in his face. She threw him to the side, gave him one last glance, and walked out of the room. Everyone was silent and at once they all got up from their chairs and walked out. Axel and Demyx came over to him.

“Man, you didn’t have to do that!” Demyx said to him. “You’re going to get yourself killed!”

Axel put a hand on his shoulder and led him out and down the hallway, following Marluxia and Zexion. “Dude, do you even know how to fight?”

Roxas shook his head. “Nope.”

“You’re the keyblade wielder! You have to know how to fight!” Axel answered back. Demyx turned his attention to Roxas.

“You’re the keyblade wielder?!” Axel playfully hit him in the back of the head.

“Yeah, Xemnas announced that the day he joined! Were have you been?” Demyx shrugged.

“Roxas, I told you how powerful the weapon you wield is. What I can’t tell you is the right way to use it.” Axel said to him.

“Yeah, Roxas. You’re so going to lose this fight.” Demyx said, laughing to himself. Roxas glared at him.

“I’m not going to lose this fight. At least, not badly. I’m sure my instinct will tell me how to use it.”

They then reached the end of the hallway and faced a huge door. Axel pushed it open and they were led into a fighting ring.

“Good luck, Roxas!” Demyx said to him, going to take a seat in the audience. Axel patted him on the back.

“Good luck. Don’t go dieing on me.” He said sofly to him before joined Demyx in a front row seat. Roxas looked around and saw the half the organization on one side and the other half on the other. Roxas walked forward and stood on his side while Larxene did the same on the other side. He heard Demyx and Axel cheering loudly for him.

Back in the audience, Luxord was making bets with Marluxia.

“I bet 50 munny Roxas wins.” Luxord said, piling some money in front of him.

“Nah, Larxene is so going to win. I bet 100 munny the girl wins.” Marluxia said, added some more munny into the pile. Demyx and Axel overheard them.

“We bet 10,000 munny that Roxas wins!” Axel said, digging into his pockets to find some munny. Demyx gave him a look.

“Axel, we don’t have 10,000 munny.” He said to him softly. Axel held one finger up, putting 1,000 munny into the pile.

“I don’t have all the munny on me right now; it’s up in my room. I’ll give it to ya’ later.” Axel grabbed Demyx’s arm and sat back down, pulling him closer to his face.

“Remember when Luxord lost his stash of money in his room?” Demyx nodded.

“Well, let’s just say I relocated it into my room.”

“You st-.” Axel covered Demyx’s mouth with his hand and shook his finger at him with the other, smiling deviously.

Back in the ring, Larxene had her kunais out and was sliding her finger up and down on the blades of each one.

Finally, Xemnas warped onto the middle of the field and motioned for silence. When everyone shut up, he announced the fight.

“Today’s match is the Savage Nymph, against Roxas!” His voice boomed and echoed throughout the coliseum. Everyone cheered, especially Axel and Demyx, who were the loudest over everyone.

He motioned for silence.
“Begin at the sound of the gun.” He warped back into his chair.
“One,”
Roxas looked at Larxene.
“Two”
Her eyes glared at him and her smile showed no mercy.
“Three”
They both stood silent. Larxene put one foot back and leaned forward, ready to attack.
BOOM
Xigbar shot one of his laser guns and the fight began.

Roxas stood there, not knowing what to do. Larxene shot a bolt of lightning at him. Roxas dodged it, jumping to the left next to the first row of seats where Axel and Demyx were. He looked up at them.

“Summon your keyblade!” Axel yelled to him, pretending to hold a sword up in his hands. Demyx pointed at Axel and nodded. Larxene shot another lightning bolt at him and he did a dodge roll to the right springing back up to his feet. He shrugged at Axel, motioning, “How?”

Larxene started to charge at him. The ring was pretty big, so he said a few split seconds before she got to him. Axel pointed to his head and mouthed something that Roxas didn’t understand.

Roxas saw a flash of yellow zoom past his face and he jumped backward. She bounced back on her toes and jumped forward with her arm outstretched, reaching for his face. Roxas moved his head back quickly and avoided her knives. When she missed, she swung her hand out and he ducked really low to the ground. Larxene bounded a few paces in front of him.

He tried to make eye contact with the two. Demyx was pointing to his head repeatedly and Axel was doing the same. This time he slowly mouthed the word, “Concentrate”. Roxas nodded and turned around to face Larxene. She held her hands out in front of her and a bolt of lighting came down from the sky. Roxas jumped to the side, barely missing it.

He didn’t really know what to concentrate on. When he tied to pay really close attention to the battle and that didn’t work, Roxas tried a different thought. He thought about the keyblade being in his hand. He pictured in his mind himself wielding it. He saw Larxene retaliate and come towards him. He swung his arm out to protect himself, and whaddya know, there was the keyblade. It was just a normal kingdom key with no keychain on it, but it was a keyblade all the same.

Her kunais met the blade and he parried her attack. When she saw this she flung herself off of him and stood back, looking impressed with his weapon. The coliseum was silent and no one moved.

There was nothing but silence. They stood facing each other for a few seconds. Everyone knew that Roxas was the keyblade wielder, but no one (save for Xemnas) has ever come in contact with one. There it was, the weapon of profound power, right in front of their eyes. The organization now has the great Key of Destiny within their control.

“Yeah, Roxas!” Axel yelled, jumping into the air and cheering for him. Roxas looked at him and smiled. Everyone started to cheer again and the silence was over.

Larxene’s face turned to anger once again and she charged forward with her arm across her chest. When she was a few feet away from him, she lashed out at Roxas. He tried to move backwards, but he tripped backwards and her knives scraped the side of his cheek. He fell backwards holding his face with his open hand.

The sound of the crowd got bigger. Roxas slowly got up and got into an attack position. Larxene smiled evilly again before running at him, swinging her arms out in front of her. Roxas uncovered his cheek and grabbed the keyblade with both hands. He ran forward as well.

When she was a foot away, he swung the blade out in front of him which blocked her attacks. He jumped at her while she was off-guard and hit her in the back with the keyblade. She made a soft noise and fell to the floor.

Roxas jumped backwards and looked at what he had done. He had hurt her. He wanted to feel bad for her. He put his arms to the side and loosened his grip on the keyblade.

Wait a second- nobodies can’t feel pain!

Roxas grabbed the keyblade again and ran forward. Larxene was getting up off the ground when he quickly rose the blade over her. She swung around and jumped into the air at the same time. Her kunais met the silver of the blade and she threw her arm down powerfully, knocking the keyblade out of his hands. She bounded a few feet away and shot a bolt of lighting at him. Roxas, still confused about where his keyblade went, didn’t move fast enough.

The lighting hit him.

Hard.

He was knocked two yards away. He couldn’t move. Everything felt numb for a few seconds. He was burned and scraped up. Larxene was laughing to herself, thinking the battle was over.

Back in the stands, Axel was standing up and gripping the side of the stadium with Demyx in his chair. He was leaning forward and watching the battle intensely. When he saw Roxas get shot with the lightning, he jumped up out of his seat. Demyx did the same, spilling his blue slushy all over himself.

“C’mon Roxas, get up…” Axel said to himself.

Roxas’s head was spinning. He opened his eyes and the world spun around him. He tried to get up, but he was too weak at the moment.

“C’mon Roxas!”

Was that-Axel he heard? Someone was rooting for him?

“You gotta get up! C’mon!”

And that was-Demyx?

Someone cared for him? Of Roxas’s short life he never had someone really care for his well being. Now that he was experiencing it, it didn’t feel so bad.

Energy surged within him. He couldn’t feel the burns anymore and the weakness was gone. He slowly but steadily got up. He summoned his keyblade back to him and got into his attack position.

Larxene turned around. Everyone’s glare moved onto Roxas. The stadium was silent again.

“YEA!”

Axel jumped up from his place and tackled Demyx in a hug.

Larxene’s face twisted into anger again and they both charged at each other. Roxas swung his keyblade with all his might at her. It hit her hand and she recoiled backwards. She shot a bolt of lightning at him but he did a dodge roll to the left. He jumped at her with his keyblade raised and brought it down on her back. Larxene fell to the floor.

Roxas jumped back, knowing that he hurt her but she wasn’t going down easily. She was only on the ground for a second before she sprang up at him, trying to slash his face again. Roxas moved his head back and swung his weapon at her. This time it crashed into her ribs. She was flung to the side.

Roxas ran over to her and rose his blade over her body. Larxene coughed and then rose her hand up, her fingers spread apart. Roxas didn’t strike her.

“Alright…you win.” He heard her wheeze.

Roxas smiled and then walked into the middle of the ring. Xaldin warped into the ring to help Larxene while Xemnas joined Roxas in the middle of the floor.

“Roxas wins the fight!” He voiced boomed, echoing throughout the ring and bouncing off the walls. Cheering was heard all around him. Roxas couldn’t stop smiling.

“Please exit the stadium quickly please and report to the meeting room.” Xemnas said to the ring. He opened a corridor of darkness and stepped through. Everyone else walked out of the audience and exited the fighting ring.

“ROXAS!!!”

Axel and Demyx jumped the side of the stadium and ran towards him. Demyx was carring something red.

Axel jumped on top of Roxas and tackled him to the ground, ruffling his hair.

“You did it! Man, Roxas you won! You made us rich!” Axel said to him overly excited. Demyx showed Roxas the heavy red bag.

“Look at what you won us!” He said to him. Roxas pushed Axel (who was now crying tears of joy) off of him and tried to stand up.

“You bet on me?” Roxas asked, wiping the dust off of his coat. Axel was now pounding his fist into the dirt, laughing hysterically. He was REALLY over exaggerating, Roxas thought. Demyx nodded.

“Yeah, Luxord was holding a bet on the fight. You did so good, Roxas! We thought you might have wiped out when that lightning hit ya’!”

Axel tried to stand up. He wiped away the tears from his eyes and hugged Roxas again. Roxas pointed at Axel and shrugged at Demyx, motioning “What’s up with him?”

“He had three slushies. I think the sugar got to him.” Demyx said before turning around and walking out of the ring. Roxas followed him with Axel’s arms still rapped around him.

Roxas eventually shoved Axel off of him and they caught up with Demyx and took their places in the meeting room. When everyone (except Larxene because she wasn’t there) was settled and quiet, Xemnas began.

“Now, we all witnessed the fight between Larxene and our newest member, Roxas. They both did an excellent job. Roxas did especially well. So well indeed, that I believe he deserved a title, as all of us already have.”

Roxas sat back tall in his seat. A title? That’d be interesting, he thought.

“Congratulations, our Key of Destiny.”

_____________________________________________________________

Yummy
Sorry if it took too long to come out...really busy lately...:(
:D :D :D

ALSO, please comment =)

:D :D :D thanks alot then :D :D :D

Ok, no offense, but everyone is using my story line!! :D :) :(

Hey, it's not your fault kid. I just had a fanfic come out a while ago with the EXACT same story. I find it funny, don't worry, I have no reason to be mad anyway.

ANYWAY, yeah, the story line is good. Do what Axels#1fangirl said about the detail and microsoft word, that's what I usually do. Keep it up.

oh yummy
I like it alot :D

Yeah, good job, in my story also the first person he met besides Xemnas was Demyx. Keep it up :D :D :D

kinda sounds familier...like my OWN fanfic...
pretty good so far. You have the almost the same concepts as me. I'll continue to read the rest of your story, and see if you do better than me at it! :p :D

By the way, my fanfics are called Roxas's Days at the Organization if you wanna tune into mine and see how I wrote mine:D

That's my name!!! =DDDDDDDDDD
You couldn't of chose a better name!!!

Great story, I love the whole thing with Axel/Ela I thought that was really cool:D :D :D

Yeah, what the heck, Axel should kill his mom. After all, an eye-for-an-eye, right???

I love your stories, but I did notice, you seem to make Axel cry alot. I don't know if that's just me, but I wouldn't think of him as the crying at the drop of a hat kind of guy. Anyway, forget what I think, I love your stories!!! :D :D :D

Hmmm...That sounds awfully familiar...:p coughmyownfanficcough

Great story I love it

that was very nice and I liked it. You used great detail and I could picture everything. I'll read the next chapter for sure. Great job for a first time fanfic

Oh sorry, I didn't know about the polls :( :(