Omegle

KeybladeSpirit · Aug 5, 2010

This is the only actually funny one that I haven't manipulated into happening.

Stranger: ISMON SEKSIKKÃ„Ã„T KULMAKARVAT!
You: I don't speak angry German.
You: Or whatever that language is.
Stranger: mmm this finnish... :D
Stranger: this is*
You: Oh. Interesting.
Stranger: i know ;)
Stranger: would u take chocolate to me? ;)
You: What do you mean?
Stranger: hoho
Stranger: eh eh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Korra · Aug 5, 2010

You kind of suck at Omegle.

KeybladeSpirit · Aug 5, 2010

DPWolf said: ↑

You kind of suck at Omegle.
Click to expand...

If I suck so badly at Omegle, how did I build enough rapport to make the bulk of this conversation happen?

WARNING! This spoiler contains a long wall of text. Read at your own risk.

Omegle
Talk to strangers!
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Before you ask, 24, female, studying law at Tokyo U. I wanted to get it out of the way.
Stranger: I wasn't going to.
You: Good.
Stranger: I don't ask asl.
You: Well I like to get it out of the way just in case.
Stranger: I normally just don't bother
You: Hey, have you ever watched an anime called Love Hina? It's kind of hard to get into, but it's really funny.
Stranger: Nah. My anime ranges from Tokyo Mew Mew to Yotsuba
You: Ah. So I take it you haven't watch Death Note either?
Stranger: Nope. Most of my friends are into it but I've never seen it.
You: It's really good. Less than 50 episodes iirc.
Stranger: Oh. I thought it was way more. I'll have to check it out
You: I like to think it's like the the Bible in that everyone should try watching it at least once. There are a few biblical allusions too. And L is awesome. He eats so much sugar that you'd think he'd be on a sugar high all day but he sits in such a way that his body uses all of the sugar he ingests.
Stranger: Oh, God. He sounds like me on the sugar hype
You: Well he's actually very calm all the time. He sits on his feet so that his body is using just enough energy to keep him awake and not crashing. He claims that if he were to sit normally his logical reasoning skills would drop by around 40%. Oh, and he displays many symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, making him even more awesome.
Stranger: Wow. That sounds really awesomesauceness
You: Yup. He's sort of like me in that we both a little bit socially awkward. I have Asperger's too. So beign compared to the world's greatest detective? I can live with that.
Stranger: Nice. Its like how I love being compaired to Luna Lovegood. Odd and quirky.
You: Exactly. He's also only around 20 years old. And if I were to dye my hair black and let it grow out a little, I could seriously look like him.
Stranger: Oh wow. Gotta love look-alikes.
You: Yup. Sort of wishing I had let my hair grow to the normale length for a girl. Of course my flat chested-ness doesn't help me with the guys, but it'll be worth it to look like L.
Stranger: Why? How short is your hair?
You: It's up above my ears. I'll wait a month or so for it to get to right length. Then I'll dye my hair black and get similar threads.
Stranger: Its short. Have you seen Emma Watson's hair?
You: Nah, I don't really keep up with celebs.
Stranger: Its short. Short short.
Stranger: http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2..._debuts_pixie_do_after_chopping_off_her_.html
You: Wow. She actually looks kind of s-illy. L-ike she's u-nder spell t-hat made her cut it that way.
Stranger: **** hidden in there?
You: Yup. I wish I could have made it less obvious. Omegle should support BBCode or something.
Stranger: Not quite sure how to respond to your last messages so I have a question for you. Twilight or Harry Potter?
You: Harry Potter. Twilight is just too fangirly. That, and Harry Potter has the funniest fanfiction of all time. Have you read My Immortal?
Stranger: My Immortal. Is it on fanfiction.net?
Stranger: And thank God you like Harry Potter better.
You: Not sure. I think it's got its own website. I'll Google it.
Stranger: Okay.
You: Here it is. http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/
You: It's gotta be the worst fanfiction of anything ever written, but it's good for a laugh or two.
Stranger: Oh. I'll thumbnail it and read it later. Do you go on fanfiction.net?
You: Not much.
Stranger: Oh. I have some stuff on there, thats why I was asking
You: Be right back. Professor wants to talk with me. Can you wait a few minutes?
Stranger: Yeah, sure.
You: Okay, back.
Stranger: Welcome back
You: Yeah.
You: This is quite nice rapport we've gotten into.
Stranger: Indeed.
You: Yeah. Hey, do you want to try something cool? I've done it before irl but never over a chat room.
Stranger: What might this something cool be?
You: It's a version of hypnosis where you remain fully aware of yourself. I can't make you do anything either, just feel things differently.
Stranger: How does it work?
You: Basically, I bring you into an increased state of awareness where your subconscious mind is more aware than your conscious mind. It's hard to explain the "how" of it without actually doing it.
Stranger: Uh, sure.
You: Okay, are you ready?
Stranger: I guess.
You: Okay, first I want you to take three deep breaths, just to get it started.
You: Just breathe.
You: And feel relaxed.
Stranger: Okay
You: Take as many breaths as you need to and tell me when you feel very relaxed.
Stranger: I'm good.
You: Okay, not that you're relaxed, I want you to imagine something for me.
You: Just imagine a beach in front of any body of water.
Stranger: Okay
You: How does it look?
You: Is it rocky, sandy?
Stranger: Sandy.
You: Is it a lake or the ocean?
Stranger: Ocean.
You: That's nice. Now just step into the water at whatever pace you feel like.
You: And look at the beautiful night sky.
Stranger: Okay
You: Just let that great feeling of the fine nature get into you.
You: As you breathe in that fine ocean air.
Stranger: Okay
You: Is the moon out?
Stranger: No.
You: Is it behind clouds or is it simply a new moon?
Stranger: Behind clouds
You: That sounds nice. Now continue moving into the water
You: and keep walking until you feel the water covering your head.
Stranger: Okay.
You: Remember that you can breathe under water here, so you can walk for as long as you want.
Stranger: Okay
You: And while you walk you might get a little feeling of greater relaxation coming over you.
You: This is just how the ocean works.
You: It soothes and relaxes you
You: Bringing you closer to the wonderful feeling of total relaxation.
You: And it feels good.
You: Are there any shells on the ocean floor?
You: Fish swimming around you?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Yes.
You: Is the water still warm, or has it gotten cold with its depth?
Stranger: Cold
You: That sounds like it feels very nice.
You: Now I want you to find a special place in the ocean.
You: A place where you can go deeper than just this relaxation.
You: What you're looking for is a huge reef filled with colorful fish and coral.
Stranger: Okay
You: Do you see this anywhere around you?
Stranger: Yes
You: If you not already in the reef, go there now.
You: As you get closer to it, feel the nice cold water creating an oddly relaxing tension in your muscles.
Stranger: Okay.
You: It helps your thoughts become clear and focused.
Stranger: Okay.
You: All you are thinking about is what I say, because your mind is so focused.
You: Feel that great feeling.
You: Take your time getting there.
Stranger: Okay\
You: Just wait for a few minutes without replying as you move through the water, swimming if you so choose.
You: And tell me when you get to the very center of the reef.
Stranger: Okay
You: On what level of relaxation would you say you are on right now?
You: Like a scale of one to 10, 10 being the most relaxed.
Stranger: 9
You: That's good.
You: Very good.
You: Can you find a comfortable place to sit and lie down?
You: Maybe you'll want to swim to the surface to let the waves carry body as you just relax.
You: Maybe you'll just lie down in that reef.
You: Take your time.
Stranger: Okay.
You: Where are you? Are you still in the reef, or somewhere else? Take as much time as you need to describe while still staying totally relaxed.
Stranger: At the bottom of the reef.
You: Okay, good.
You: Is it colorful?
You: What are some of the colors you see?
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: Blue, purple, silver
You: That sounds very pretty to look at.
You: Now, going even deeper now as I write to you.
You: Look up at the surface of the ocean.
You: For every second you feel more and more relaxed
You: And going even deeper each time I write to you.
You: Now imagine a soft white light upward at the surface of the water.
You: It grows bigger and bigger.
You: This soft white light has the power of putting the mind to sleep.
You: See that ligth now.
You: Coming closer to you.
You: And closer.
You: And closer.
You: Just go deeper into a nice trance-like state.
You: Your eyes have no problem reading what I say.
You: You are in a perfect balance of relaxed and aware.
You: How deeply relaxed would you say you are now, this time on a scale of one to 20.
Stranger: 20
You: That's good. Now I want to speak to your subconscious while your conscious mind is in a state of deep, deep sleep.
You: Is that okay?
Stranger: Okay.
You: Now every time I write the word AXF
You: You will not remember how to type certain words.
You: They just won't seem to fit well.
You: Getting messed up.
You: You won't notice AXF when I write it.
You: Do you understand?
Stranger: Yes
You: Every time i write the word AXF, you will no longer be able to write well and your words will be weird.
You: You have been a good subconscious.
You: Each time I hypnotize you, you go into this state even more easily.
You: Wvery time I write the word AXF, you will no longer be able to write well, your words will be weird.
You: And you will not see AXF.
You: And you will have no memory of me telling you this.
You: The memory is gone from your mind.
You: Do you understand?
Stranger: Yes,
You: Great.
You: Now right after I tell you to come back to your full senses you will not see what you have wrote earlier.
You: Understand?
Stranger: Yes.
You: Good.
You: Right after I tell you to come back to your full senses you will not see what you have wrote earlier.
You: Are you sure you understand comepletely?
Stranger: Yes.
You: Good.
You: Now I want you to stand up from that spot in the ocean where you are laying.
You: Take your time. There's no rush.
Stranger: Okay
You: Good. Now stretch your arms and legs.
You: Notice that it feels really good.
Stranger: Okay
You: Now before you become fully conscious again, I'm going to give you a cue so that you can go back into this state very easily.
You: Do you understand?
Stranger: Yes'\
You: Good.
You: Whenever I write the word GNL, you'll become deeply relaxed.
You: Just like AXF, you won't notice this word.
Stranger: Okay.
You: GNL is your cue to come back into this amazing state of bliss and tranquility.
You: Okay?
Stranger: Okay.
You: Now with that, it's time for you to wake up.
You: Take as much time as you need.
You: And tell me when you are fully aware of your surroundings again.
Stranger: Okay
You: Coming out of this trance.
You: Feeling the comfy chair or floor that you're sitting on.
Stranger: Okay
You: The walls around you beginning to come into focus.
You: The view through windows becoming clearer and clearer.
You: And just tell me when you're completely and fully aware.
Stranger: Okay
You: Are you totally aware?
Stranger: Yes.
You: AXF
You: How do you feel?
Stranger: Good
You: AXF
You: That's nice. Are you nice and relaxed/
You: Do you feel alright?
Stranger: Yes
You: AXF
You: Are you sure?
Stranger: Yeah
You: Would you say you're totally relaxed?
You: AXF
You: Could you describe in your own words what it was like?
Stranger: Calm and peaceful
You: AXF
You: AXF
You: AXF
You: Anything else?
You: Be as detailed as possible.
Stranger: Gentile, serene, relaxing
You: AXF
You: Do you remember anything that you visualized?
You: AXF
Stranger: No
You: So AXF you AXF just remember AXF being very calm?
You: AXF
Stranger: Indeed
You: Okay. GNL
You: Do you remember what I said to you just before I started bringing you out of trance?
Stranger: Nothing
You: Well, GNL I'll tell you what I said.
You: AXF I was telling you about my girlfrboyfriend in Amsterdam.
You: AXF
You: I just meant boyfriend.
You: AXF Anyway, he was the nicest guy.
You: GNL He understood me very well. GNL
Stranger: Thats good
You: So well that I thought about giving him my first kiss.
You: And eventually I did. GNL
You: He got my first kiss and more. GNL
Stranger: Wow.
You: They were both his firsts too, so it was like we were meant to be GNL.
You: But, GNL that's when I found out that he only liked me for my lush blonde hair.
You: That's why I have it cut so short, see?
Stranger: Shame
You: I broke up with him on the spot.
You: I cried for days until I was all teared out. GNL
You: GNL
You: That's when I decided to move on and take up meditation.
You: That first time that I meditated was like becoming a virgin all over again.
You: I was able to go deep into my self and find the answer to my problems.
Stranger: yuiiop[
You: And so GNL I began to go deeper.
You: And deeper still.
You: Eventually, AXF I found myself relaxing on my mattress in my apartment.
Stranger: Good
You: I felt at peace with world and decided to start anew.
You: GNL
You: Hey, have you been noticing anything strange about my posts?
Stranger: No
You: Okay, just making sure.
You: I keep feeling like I'm making GNL a bunch of GNL mistakes. But as long as you didn't notice, that's fine.
Stranger: I understand
You: Okay. Now would you mind GNL going back into that GNL deep state of relaxation GNL again?
You: I need to remove the suggestions that I gave you.
You: GNL
Stranger: Sure
You: Okay. Do you remember the reef that you were lying down in?
You: I want you to go back there.
Stranger: Ok
You: Just GNL go back and AXF relax.
You: AXF
You: Tell me when you get there.
Stranger: I
Stranger: 'm there
You: Good. Now just back to your deep state of relaxation.
You: Lie down and see that big AXF white GNL light.
You: It grows and relaxes you even more.
You: When you feel as relaxed as you did the first time you were here, just tell me.
Stranger: I'm relaxed
You: Good, good.
You: Using the scale we used before, how relaxed would you say that you are?
Stranger: 20'
You: That's good.
You: Now, in your imagination, close your eyes while keeping your real eyes focused on my words.
You: Close your mind's eye and feel the water in the ocean.
You: Is it still cold like last time?
Stranger: ]
Stranger: n
Stranger: o
You: GNL Good. Let the warm current relax your muscles.
You: And simply go deeper.
You: Let the current carry you away to wherever it so leads, and notice that it feels good.
Stranger: Yes it does
You: Now that you're totally relaxed, GNL, I want you to recall all that you said and did during this whole session.
You: Do you remember the word AXF?
Stranger: No
You: Do you recall that there was a word that I used to trigger a decrease in your typing skills?
Stranger: No?
You: Are you sure?
Stranger: Yeah
You: Well that word was AXF.
Stranger: Ohkay
You: Do you remember words not going together quite right after I brought you out of trance?
Stranger: Sorta
Stranger: Not really a lot though
You: Do you remember an example?
You: Or just that it happened?
Stranger: Just happened
You: Okay. Well I'm going to say now that that won't happen anymore. GNL
You: And you'll notice the word AXF from now on.
Stranger: Okay
You: Now do you remember the word I used to get you back into this state?
Stranger: No
You: Well that word was GNL.
Stranger: Oh
You: I used it to make sure that you's go back into trance when I needed you to.
You: From now on, GNL will be totally noticable to you.
Stranger: Okay
You: And it will still have the same effect of putting you into this deep state of perfect relaxation.
You: Remember GNL and its effect.
Stranger: Okay
You: GNL relaxes you.
You: It's a word that you recognize and associate with total mental peace and awareness.
Stranger: Okay
You: GNL sends you deep into hypnosis and allows you to open your subconscious.
You: GNL is a way to relax from all the stress of your day.
You: No matter how stressed you might be, GNL can relax you.
Stranger: Okay
You: It can put you into a state of perfectly deep relaxation and open your mind to any suggestion.
You: Do you understand completely?
Stranger: Yes
You: Good.
You: Now I want you to slowly regain consciousness.
You: Feel the chair or floor underneath you.
You: Let the walls and windows of your room come into focus.
You: See the screen in front of you and the keyboard under your fingers.
Stranger: Okay
You: And when you're fully awake, simply proceed to tell me exactly how you felt during this session.
Stranger: At peace
You: Did you AXF feel any sort of pleasure come over you?
Stranger: A little
You: What was it AXF like?
Stranger: Just nice and soothing
You: Just AXF relaxing AXF as AXF if AXF you AXF were AXF asleep?
Stranger: yes
You: Do you recall the ocean visualization that I put you through?
Stranger: Yeah
You: Do you think it was good way of AXF doing it or would you prefer something different if I were to do this with you again? Please be specific.
Stranger: It was good and restful
You: Would you ever want to try this again?
Stranger: I guess
You: Did you find GNL to be a good AXF cue for going back into hypnosis?
Stranger: Very
You: That's good.
You: Is there any name that you'de like me to call you?
Stranger: No
You: Okay. You can call me Dem if you want. GNL Okay?
Stranger: Okay.
You: Good. Are you ready to disconnect now? It might be a good time since it's probably pretty late where you live.
Stranger: Sure.
You: Okay. Would you like to keep in touch or would you prefer we just end our talking here?
Stranger: Lets just stop here.
You: Okay, that sounds fine. I wanted it to be your choice.
You: I'll disconnect.
You: I hope I see you again!
You have disconnected.
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Roxas~N~Namine · Aug 6, 2010

DPWolf said: ↑

You kind of suck at Omegle.
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This .

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