Laywers........

Two lawyers got together to negotiate a case. They went around and around for hours and didn't get anywhere.

"Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other."

"Ok, you first," replied the other.

And that, of course, was the end of the discussion.

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What do lawyers use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why don't you ever see lawyers at the beach?

The cats keep covering them up with sand.

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Two lawyers are walking down the street and they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. The first lawyer says, "See that woman? Boy would I love to screw her." The second lawyer says, "Out of what?"