No problem~
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x155/hitna3510/picture.png You said you wanted the picture and I am this bored.
Name: Beyond Birthday (Amaimon, Fuuka Yamagishi, Random Angel, or simply Angel.) Favourites: Anime/Manga: Death Note (L, Mello, Matt, Near, and Beyond Birthday) Ao no Exorcist (Amaimon and Mephisto) Angel Beats! (Kanade/Tenshi/Angel) Pandora Hearts (Break, Alice, and Oz) Black Rock Shooter (Character of the same name, Dead Master, and STR) Soul Eater (Tsubaki, Soul, Maka, Asura, and Death the Kid) Katekyo Hitman Reborn! (Chrome, Mukuro, Fran, Mammon/Viper and Belphegor) Music: Oomph! Escape the Fate Vocaloid (Miku, Gumi, Luka...most all of them) Games: Persona 3 (Minato/MC, Fuuka Yamagishi, Chidori Yoshino, and Shinjiro) Zelda (Link, Zelda, and Navi) Kingdom Hearts (Any game; Zexion, Demyx, Kairi and Sora) Final Fantasy (VII, X, XII, XIII; Tifa, Cloud, Yuna, Tidus, Auron, Lulu, Rikku, Fran, Lighting, and Hope) TV Shows: Supernatural (Sam, Dean, and Castiel) Big Bang Theory Criminal Minds (Reid)
Jade: I can't do text to save my life so commenting on it feels wrong, but it just stands out in a strange way. I suppose it's nice, like making it look like a card if that was intended, but... Besides that everything flows nicely and it is pleasant to look at. DP Wolf: Smooth background, cool effects, and a nice touch of red to an otherwise cool colored scene. Maybe a bit too blurry though. Laplace: Little on the bright side and some splatters seem...what's the word...grindy? Not a real word, but yeah. Out of place, sharp. Very colorful and fun though. All of my focus and words are going to NaNo so excuse the choppy sentences here. Either way all of these were really nice, tough picks and close calls everywhere.
Spoiler
Trying out stocks instead of cut outs now.
Strawberry Gashes by Jack Off Jill
Aren't you the charming one~
Casually leaving one as I go off to bed. Spoiler
Does this make me a princess? I think it does.
Shoes are a serious business. Saving myself from all future conflict and chopping the feet off of any and all guests of my house.
Spoiler: Firekeyblade I feel as if the fast paced writing style works well here to show Angel's uncertainty and nervousness. Gave a reason as to why she was there and kept it with the theme, short and sweet. The length was good, though I think if you separated it into two different paragraphs it would have been better. Like in the first one was simply preparing for the jump and the second being the actual jump and fall. I feel as if that would have made it more organized. That aside, I think there was some nice detail in this post and decent emotion soon. Though the 'woo' at the end feels forced. Might have been better without it or maybe an ! mark instead of a period. Spoiler: P I had to reread some parts, but this could be only because I am not the sharpest tool in the box. However, it was very detailed and flowed nicely. It had a fun twist and some cruel humor on Faust's side, rather amusing. Another one that fit the theme as well; short and sweet. Had a very carefree and fun tone to it, despite her crash; a nice change from the last challenge. I think that shows how you can switch from darker themes to lighter ones very well and such a thing is needed in some rps as having just one tone to it throughout the entire thing gets rather dull and boring. And when I got everything down and read through it a final time I could picture everything vividly. The color theme really helped with that and set the tone. It was also all very creative and original. Spoiler: Maka The formatting is as nice as always. Nicely spaced out, well picked colors, and so on. Only real problem was the font size. Other than that I just loved the detail you gave here and it had such a creative reason as to why she was jumping from the plane. I just love your writing style as well and it really personalizes it, giving the character a voice even. Because when I read it I can hear her screams and the thug's demands. Nice touch of humor in such an otherwise dire situation. Also very clear and nice cliffhanger. Spoiler: Midnight Star The bravest and most willing one so far, which is nice not to have to read another scared one despite her still being nervous. Also first one to have the chute not work right away, giving panic to both the character and reader. I also liked how there was more to the actual jump as it seemed like the others focused more so on what lead up to it, though all of their posts were still good. My only problem is how there is no dialogue, even thoughts. It is good in some ways, though I think it would have been nicer if we got more insight on how she was feeling besides your words. Overall it was still a nice post. Spoiler: Marushi I feel it as a little cheap to have written more and only submit a part of it. However, I will be judging only what was presented. There are a few capitalization and punctuation errors here and there, though not too much so to break the flow of reading it. The colors and font looked nice on the forum as well. There's nice detail and the part about that scared woman was a nice touch. Also an interesting take as to why he was jumping. And in the last sentence you gave his reason for acting brave and showed how much he cared for the other character, Mao. I think it is nice that you continue to show their strong bond. Spoiler: Fuzzy You gave good imagery here and nice detail. Pretty entertaining with the push. Though despite the good imagery used some parts didn't feel as if they belonged, like it would have better as a whole without them. His motivation being the women there was also amusing, and down to earth for a normal human to have such intentions. So it was a nice reason for him being there besides just his family taking him. And then just to have Lizzy laugh at him was a nice way to end it. Spoiler: Brit Mentioning the kid in the wheelchair as her reason for doing this was a really sweet add there, showing how kind she was to be facing down her fear for the good of someone else. There was vivid detail as well and the repeating of 'what a vacation' fit rather well. Rather hard to find something I disliked here. Small font is always hard for me to read but it seems to be your thing... Perhaps a few unneeded words here and there and fragments. Spoiler: Ace I think it was cool how you mentioned the last challenge in this one, a subtle but nice touch. The songs changes also helps with the tone and feel of the post and show a passage of time, giving the true feeling of a rush and actions. And Ruby is just wicked, I love it. He sent him to his death. If it wasn't for that it would have seemed very odd for him to be on her jet. I think it could have used a bit more detail in fewer sentences though, as most of it seemed as just a means to add more words. Everyone had a different take on the challenge and each post brought something new to the table. It was fun reading every single post and feeling your characters emotions. The only problem it seemed that most of you had was keeping things to the challenge, which was short and sweet. Still, all decent posts nonetheless!
Well in Hell's Kitchen....they're normally in a kitchen. It would just be idiotic not to wear shoes in kitchens. Every single one of my friends whose house I have been to takes their shoes off and have their guests remove their shoes. Me, in my house, I'm almost always barefoot. I don't think it matters either way though. However I do feel as if one is in a hurry or only there for a moment, leaving your shoes on is for the better as you leave rather quickly. And on TV shouldn't count either way. People are being filmed and naturally would want to look their best. This normally means all dressed up, depending on the show.
I've been judging as they posted. On Fuzzy's. Will waiting until after I've slept to finish the rest though if that is okay. Should be around 3 EST.
I would but I have no idea how to. Shouldn't you, the creator, do so? Or Iunno, give some info as to how to start and I can take a shot at it.
Dropping the oc but will keep Tsubaki.
I just wish we got to know more about him. Also, I would have loved meeting all of the princes of Gehenna.
Demon King Amaimon Judges You All; Spoiler: Terra Space is key, also a few errors in grammar here and there. Nothing major, and overall it was a decent post. The good; When people put two or more characters into one post it can get confusing at times. This is why it is nice color coding them, which you did. Thumbs up there. You met the requirements, mentioning three other characters, not hiding, and facing the viking. Clever way to get him away, too. The bad; As stated before, space is key. There also seemed to be some words missing here and there, but it wasn't too bad. Also, since it was an introduction there could have been more of an insight to your characters. There was some, but most of it was on the male, Alex. Alexis looks to him for support, yes. He protects her, etc. But it doesn't say much on her in my opinion, only that he is the big brother type. Spoiler: Firekeyblade A rather enjoyable post to read with the humor, and not many mistakes. The good; You gave build up to what and why everything was happening. Wasn't exactly a killer, but a fun take on things and a good way to stop him. The bad; The first paragraph kind of felt like a run on and could have left some things out since the second paragraph covered some of the same things. And Angel's last comment would have probably been better spaced away from the rest. Spoiler: Britishism Good job owning up to your mistake. Nicely spaced out and everything, though the small font makes it hard to read, especially given the color it is in. The good; I love the build up and how you described everything. There was some real emotion and action going on at the same time. The father daughter bond was nice, her worrying for him. Was touching. You also made him slightly mad, as some would get in such a situation. And then went further to explain what happened afterwards instead of just ending it once the viking was stopped. Also nice to see them getting injured instead of escaping without a scratch. The bad; Not much to say that is bad. There was the tiny font and the colors. I know I have trouble reading it so others might of as well. Having one or the other would have been better, and not both. Spoiler: Midnight Star Got to the point rather quickly without seeming like rushing through it, which was nice. The good; Like I said, it got to the point. I believe in rps run on things kind of make things dead (learning from past experiences) so this would really keep any rp moving along. The bad; Some missing punctuation, more on the boy's side than anything, and could have used some more detail. But those are really the only bad things I see here, expect maybe adding in a bit more emotion next time. Spoiler: Maka A really interesting idea, I liked it. Maybe not entirely new overall, but for this it was original and set a nice tone. The good; Good pace, and nice detail. You explain your characters well without losing focus on the main point here and keeps things moving along. I can almost feel their desperation while reading this. The bad; I really don't have much to add here. The coloring got slightly confusing to me at times, having that yellowish font randomly there as a narration(?) I would assume. Had to reread some parts as well since it was sometimes a lot there in just one sentence. Spoiler: Master of Keyblades Besides the coloring, it was easy to read. Nicely spaced paragraphs and kept each character separate in the formatting. The good; Like said above, it was easy to read. And near the end there was some nice emotion there, and kept it all simple. The bad; On the forum default, which is a dark grey, the yellow and grey are very hard to read. And the characters seemed a bit too calm at first, though they did start to panic later. Spoiler: Marushi Wow, to lose a whole post. Yet you came back strong, nice effort there! The good; Points for describing how the viking looked like and giving him some actual lines, very nice touch~ You also showed how much Tatsuo cared for Mao and how Mao was strong and content with who she was. Nice introduction with who they are. The bad; The red was really hard to read. Wasn't an actual killer but still a nice touch. Kind of left off weirdly to me too. Nothing else was really wrong with it though. Spoiler: P Like an old tale, very nice take on it. The good; I really liked reading this one. It was detailed and interesting. Kept the pace up and didn't dally on things and went past the defeat of the viking. You even left a possible new beginning at the end, another tale to their adventures and something someone else could use for their post if it were a real role play. The bad; Again, red is rather hard to read on the default skin and the size... Maybe a bit graphic considering younger readers may of stumbled upon it, as there are some on the forums. A warning next time is in order. Spoiler: tummer Another new and interesting landscape, how nice~ The good; His drive to keep going on, to protect the girl, is very deep. Also explained their bond well. I think we also got a good insight to their personalities here and it had a nice flow. The bad; Again with the red text. Seems to be popular. Maybe most of you have no trouble reading it, but it kills my eyes and I have seen others say stuff about it in the past before. And at the end they merely hid, bringing no end to the chase. Spoiler: Fuzzy The good; It had a nice pace and kept things moving along. Showed how your characters interacted with one another rather well and who they were, because one's true self really comes out in stressful situations. I think you did well. The bad; The dark blue was near impossible to read. Was rather crude with the cursing and all. Though censored, I still think it may have been a bit much. Like said in one of the other's judgment, there are younger members around. Was also a bit hectic and disorganized. Spoiler: Ace Oh, it's like watching an anime~ The good; Nicely detailed and got into their personalities rather well. Made it clear that she didn't give a damn about him and was just trying to save her own life while he...had other things in mind. An interesting setting and display, and a funny way to end things, or at least with Ruby ditching him. The bad; Once more, younger members beware. A warning or something about the whole boob grabbing and such would have been nice. And with the head chopping. Last thing is that I use fragments in my writing all the time and don't see a big deal with them, if used sparingly. There seemed to be way too many here. (Small, sounding incomplete sentences. So many periods broke the flow of the post while reading.) If I made anything unclear or if you have any questions feel free to send me a PM or VM. Ah~ But for only the first challenge you all did so very well!
I hate frosting though...
I try something at least once a day.
