When I first joined staff, the shit with Blaine had just gone down and I wanted to help out the site I’d grown up on. I’d just graduated from high school and I figured I’d use my talents I’d learned running the school paper to help out KHV. So I applied for Reporter. I figured it couldn’t be easy only having one Reporter. So I became staff that summer and made a bunch of friends along the way. I grew closer to people I known growing up on KHV, like Cat and Plums, and friends with those I hadn’t known too well. Roxam and I became partners and it felt nice to have someone’s back and vise versa.
As staff, I’ve seen various staff members come and go. Of those who were hired at the same time as me, none of them remain as such. So it’s been almost a blessing I have stayed as long as I have. KHV has stood the test of time… but has it? KHV is nowhere near as active as it used to be, even two years, let’s not kid ourselves. And I feel like that’s why there’s been an air of ‘who the hell cares anymore?” “why should I care?”, especially in staff. I won’t try to deny it, I feel that way and have felt that way for a long time. But I tried my hardest to stick it out, not for myself, but for y’all and for my partners in crime, Rox and Maru.
A few months ago, I told staff I was retiring. I had a lot (and have more now) going on in my life and taking KHV out of the equation would have made things easier. So I got well wishes from some of staff… and I was never demoted. Because none of our Admins (sans libre) are active. So a few weeks later, summer was in full swing and there was **** that needed to be done. I was supposed to help Maru with the Newscast and TWEWY event. The user awards were coming around. Nomura was teasing us with more KH III news. So against my better judgement, I stayed.
But enough is enough. There are 12 members of staff currently. And about half of them are active. The air of ‘Why are we still here’ is so thick that I feel it everytime I look in staff chat. Maru has already credited those who are the most active, so I won’t repeat myself, there’s no point. Maru herself has gone above and beyond for this site and for the people on it. Even if you give her credit, you couldn’t give her as much credit as she deserves. She’s is more active, more willing to help, then anyone else on this staff--hell maybe even all of staff (including myself) together. No one, not by a long shot, on the current staff (and maybe even past staffs sans a few people) have put more of themselves into this website than Maru.
And I’ve put a lot in myself. I truly think I have over the past few years I’ve been staff. But I’ve reached my limit. I can’t do it anymore. Attempting to do the TWEWY event has been causing me physical pain due to the lack of assistance. I’ve stayed up til 4 in the morning various nights trying to do this project. But I and Maru cannot (and will not) continue anymore--or with KHV.
I have been on KHV since 2009. I have been on KHV for almost ten years and quite honestly it feels like a lifetime because it has been. I’ve been here for almost half my life. I’ve so many people come and go and come and go. Some of those people have gone for good, I never saw them again and to this day I still miss them. Others have left and come back, like myself a handful of times. But there comes a time when enough is enough.
And I think I’m done. I need to move on and start again. I wish you all wonderful,wonderful lives. I’ll be on Discord so feel free to DM me whenever. I love you guys, stay in touch. <3